IX. The Words
There were no clocks as far as I had seen in the palace of the King of the Underworld. I was tiring of waking up in rooms with no clocks, and this was made worse by the lack of sky in the Underworld. Even the large bow window of my room was no help, as the view from it remained steadfastly unchanging throughout the hours. I cursed myself for not wearing a watch. I supposed it didn't matter, since I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep anyway. And what did time mean in a place like this? Was there a designated time zone for the Underworld? Did the dead care how much time had passed? I supposed they probably didn't. But I did. How many hours had passed since Hades had left me here? Ten? Twenty? I had no idea how long I had been asleep for or even how long I had been awake, pacing the room or staring at the ceiling, as I was now.
I sat up in the four poster canopy bed and took in my surroundings once more. Against the wall was a large, dark wooded vanity. I walked to it and studied the ornate carvings laid into the frame of the mirror and the faces of the drawers. I traced them with my fingers, imagined how much they would be worth in the world of the living. I looked at myself in the mirror and I found the person staring back at me to be almost unrecognizable. My hair, which usually I kept tame, either straightening it or arranging it into neat curls, had been left to its own devices, essentially. It was curly, naturally, but not the pretty ringlets that I liked to create for special occasions. The curls that took over my hair now were wild and voluminous, creating something akin to a lion's mane around my head. But it didn't look bad, necessarily, just… wild. Although it had always been tinged with a slight red quality, that tone seemed more prominent now than ever, but I considered that may just have been the lighting in the particular room.
I wasn't sure if I had permission to wander away from my designated room, but I cared little. I was confident, somehow, that Hades wouldn't say no to me. I meandered through the complicated maze of hallways, admiring the architecture and the various artworks of different styles that adorned the walls. I was sure I recognized some famous painters among them, but the works themselves were unfamiliar to me. I stopped to look at one painting of the Asphodel Meadows that I could have sworn was painted by Vincent Van Gogh. I leaned closely and studied the swirling brush strokes, the colors that were so much brighter than reality. I was no art history buff, but I would've sworn Van Gogh had painted this.
Eventually I found myself in a room with a long dining table, surrounded by beautifully carved wooden chairs and nothing else. At one end of the table was a painting of Hades, sitting upon a throne with a severely scaled-down Cerberus at his feet. Or perhaps Cerberus wasn't scaled down—perhaps that was Hades's true size, a frightening thought. I turned and found, at the other head of the table, a painting of his queen, Persephone. Flowers were woven into her hair and she held a pomegranate close to her lips. She looked just as she had yesterday, except that her skin was of a darker shade.
"Lovely, isn't she?" Hades put his hands lightly on my shoulders from behind. I hadn't heard him come in, but I wasn't alarmed.
"Yes," I agreed. "She's not as tan as that, though."
"Sometimes she is," Hades said. "This was painted at the beginning of fall one year—now it's December. After some time in the Underworld, her skin becomes pale like mine."
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Time for breakfast," Hades said, turning me gently by the shoulder.
The table, previously empty, was now completely covered by a decadent feast, baskets heaped with bread and fruit as well as bowls and plates with a variety of dishes. I didn't even raise an eyebrow. I had come to expect the impossible here. Hades bent this world effortlessly to his will. This was all for show—he had to know I wasn't going to eat any of it. He sat at the head of the table under his portrait and gestured for me to take the seat adjacent to it. A shade appeared from thin air and pulled the chair away from the table for me.
"Will Persephone be joining us?" I asked, sitting.
"Eventually, I'm sure," Hades said, but I wasn't convinced that he actually was sure. Something troubled him—I saw it just for a flash in his eyes, and then it was gone. It was strange to think that the gods had troubles, but I suppose that had always been an element of their stories.
"Did I see a Van Gogh in one of the halls?" I asked.
"Which one?" Hades asked, picking food from the table to put on his plate while a shade filled his glass with a golden liquid.
"There's more than one?" I asked, eyebrows raised now.
"Sure," Hades said, taking a bite, swallowing. "I have several. He's been dead for over a century, he's had time. I'm somewhat of a patron of the arts. I provide these dead painters with the resources they need and then I hang the best things they create on my walls. How else should the King of the Dead decorate his palace?"
I looked at him in silent awe.
"You're fond of Van Gogh?" Hades asked, and I nodded. "I'll show you the others another time."
We sat a few minutes in silence as I watched Hades eat.
"Did you sleep well?" Hades asked finally.
"Not really," I said—I had gotten up a few times and gone to sit at the window and browse the library of books provided to me.
"Were your accommodations not satisfactory?"
Stabbed a piece of meat with his fork. Chewed. Swallowed. I wondered what kind of meat it was.
"No, no, they were wonderful," I said. "The bed was the… most comfortable I've ever slept in. I'm just restless. I have a lot on my mind."
"Understandable," Hades said, contented.
I wondered how the fruits and vegetables tasted. They all looked amazing—perfectly ripe and brightly colored, with unblemished skin. The smell was practically intoxicating.
"Are the others coming?" I asked. "The Olympians?"
His eye twitched slightly at the word. I wonder if the fact that he was not technically considered one of the "Olympians" was a slight to him. He hardly showed it, if so. Hardly.
"They are," Hades said. "I imagine they will be arriving periodically over the next couple of hours. They seem to be taking their time for something that's supposedly so important—they're reluctant to visit me here, even under these circumstances."
"You don't get along with them," I observed, wondering if he would think I was overstepping my bounds. I couldn't bring myself to care.
He put his fork down and looked directly at me, his expression unchanging. I was wondering if he would scold me.
"Some of them," he said.
"Apollo, for one," I responded.
"We have our differences," he looked back down at his plate to stab another piece of food.
"Why do you act so… aloof towards me when others are around?" I asked. "You're actually rather kind when it's just us. Most of the time."
He looked at me. Smiled wryly. Said nothing.
"Okay, you don't like that question," I threw my hands up in a small gesture. "Then back to Apollo—what's the deal with you two?"
"There are a lot of reasons why Apollo and I do not get along," Hades said through gritted teeth.
"Name one," I said, not about to give up that easily. There was a pause while Hades chewed his food deliberately slow.
"He courted Persephone," he said, but I could see that was only a minor, outlying problem.
"So? He didn't succeed," I said. "And then you stole her."
"I was in love with her," he said defensively, looking angry at the accusation.
"You kidnapped her, Hades," I said, though my tone was as gentle as I could manage. "There are better ways to get a girl's attention."
"Not when her mother is Demeter," Hades grumbled. "But that was thousands of years ago."
"Right," I said. "And yet you still are holding a grudge against Apollo for courting her? I don't think so. Give me another reason."
"His son," Hades said, his voice low.
"Laurie?" I asked, frowning—that didn't make sense.
"Asclepius."
"I don't know him," I said, shaking my head.
"Son of Apollo by Coronis—that's a story you should ask Apollo about sometime," Hades said. "Especially if you think I'm cruel. But that's not my concern. Asclepius—a healing god—let's just say he got in the way of my job."
"Ah," I nodded—that made a bit more sense.
There was a sound coming from the hallway opposite from the one I had entered through. Laurie appeared in the doorway, guided by a shade who shuffled away silently. Laurie raised an eyebrow when he saw Hades and me sitting at the table together.
"Sophie?" he said.
"That's me," I said, somewhat mockingly—I wondered if Hades's sometimes sour attitude and dismissive demeanor were rubbing off on me. On second thought, I think the attitude came about naturally, I was simply less likely to try to suppress it here.
"Are you—are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Laurie, I can take care of myself," I said, looking down at the clean, empty plate in front of me on the table to avoid looking at him.
I felt a little bad after the words came out. After all, Laurie had done some kind things for me, and I shouldn't be so rude about his concern. But I wanted to be independent, and I didn't want to be treated like some fragile, breakable thing. I was the one with the power—I certainly didn't need a babysitter. At least Hades seemed to recognize that I was strong and didn't need to be treated so gingerly. I was frustrated that Laurie was ending my one-on-one time with Hades. I considered apologizing anyway, but kept my mouth shut.
"Take a seat, boy," Hades said, and Laurie sat down across from me.
I knew he was staring at me but I didn't want to meet his gaze. His attention made me uncomfortable for some reason. He wasn't aggressive about his affections towards me, but I could see them plainly in his eyes and it was impossible to ignore. That was the last thing I wanted to think about right now. I stared at the table for a few moments, and when I looked up, Hades was no longer seated at his place at the table. I felt the lightest of tugs at a few strands of my hair and looked up over my shoulder to find Hades running a strand of my hair between his fingers.
"What do you think, Laurie?" Hades asked, and I cringed.
"Ex-excuse me?" Laurie stammered, fiddling awkwardly with a fork from the table.
"Doesn't Sophie look lovely today?" Hades asked, voice husky, leaning over my shoulder and shooting me a knowing sideways smirk. I wanted to snarl at him in response, but I kept my face as neutral as possible. He knew Laurie's feelings were an uncomfortable subject for me. He was doing this on purpose. Bastard. "Doesn't she look just… ravishing?"
At this, he put his face right against my hair and inhaled. I had to look at Laurie. To look away would have been even more uncomfortable. He didn't say anything, but his lips were pulled together in a tight line. One hand was under the table, and the other was wrapped tightly around the handle of a fork, and it was shaking uncontrollably.
"Well, boy? What do you say?"
In an instant, Hades had gone from being right there with his head right against mine, to being immediately next to Laurie, slamming his shaking hand down on the table and prying the fork out of it to set it back down on the table.
"What's wrong with you? Can't you speak?" Hades chided. "Don't be rude! Tell the girl what you're thinking!"
"You look very lovely today, Sophie," Laurie said very quietly, looking down at his empty hand on the table. "As always."
I knew my face was probably reddened from secondhand embarrassment. Hades clapped his hands together. I looked up at him. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye. I didn't like the look of that.
"Well then!" Hades said mockingly. "How lovely. I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone, then."
As he was exiting, he walked by me and gave my shoulder a pointed squeeze. I quickly reached up and clasped my own hand over his. He took my hand in his and turned me to him, smirking and quirking an eyebrow. I widened my eyes, trying to convey that I didn't want him to leave—but surely he already knew that. I was begging, pleading with my eyes. But this was part of his game. I would rather have him around making embarrassing comments than be left alone with Laurie. I couldn't even bear to think of the extended awkward silences that were surely to come once he disappeared.
"Don't worry, my dear, I'll be back soon," Hades said, squeezing my hand and actually sounding a bit sincere.
He pulled my hand up to his lips and left a cold kiss on the back of it. Then he used the hand to pull me in even closer towards him and planted a lingering kiss on my cheek, pressing his hand against the opposite side of my head to hold my skin against his lips for a few seconds. I swear I could feel Laurie bristling with discomfort from all the way across the table. And then, in what seemed to be just a flurry of fabric, Hades had suddenly and dramatically made his exit. I stumbled a bit in to the empty space where Hades had been an instant before. I quickly regained my footing and pressed my palms against the edge of the table, stabilizing myself. I stared at the empty plate on the table. I felt dizzy. Laurie stood, and I could sense that he was about to say something.
"So, um, there are some Van Gogh paintings down this hall," I said quickly, trying to defend against any awkward conversations Laurie might attempt to initiate. "And I swear I saw some that looked like they might be Monet—we should go look at those. Hades told me all about them, they're really from those artists, but they're originals, not like anything you'll ever see on Earth. They're really amazing, you have to see them. I mean. If you're into that sort of thing. Art. Are you?"
I gave him a beat to respond, and then tilted my head up look at him. He was frowning, studying me with his usual uncomfortable level of intensity. I was about to say something else, when finally he responded
"Sure, let's go look," Laurie said.
I led him to the Van Gogh I had seen before and we looked at some of the other artwork in the halls along the way. Laurie seemed interested, but distracted. I told him what I knew about the paintings from what Hades had told me.
"When did Hades tell you all this?" Laurie asked.
"This morning," I said. "Or… I don't know what time it is. Before we went to, uhh… Well, after I woke up."
"And he was there when you woke up?" Laurie asked.
Oops. Walked right into that one.
"No," I said, then decided to just play dumb. "Why would he be there?"
"Didn't you…?"
I crossed my arms, frowned, and cocked my head to the side.
"Didn't I what?"
"You and Hades… you had sex, didn't you?" he asked, finally being straightforward about his envious curiosity.
"What would it be to you if we did?" I asked, stepping towards Laurie and getting into his personal space. I felt bold. Confrontational. "I'm an adult. You know that, right? I can make my own decisions."
"He's a god," Laurie whispered, his expression condescending as he squinted down at me. "It's hard for consent to be a factor."
"I'm in control here," I said. "I only do what I want to do. I have power too, you know. And what about you? You're half a god. So that means being with you would be dangerous too, huh?"
"I didn't—" Laurie furrowed his brow. "That's not what I was saying. I only have your best interests in mind."
"You don't even know me," I said, leaning in and whispering in his ear. "What do you know about my best interests?"
Laurie backed away, eyes wide. I could see his Adam's apple move up and down as he swallowed. He turned his back to me and I heard him inhale sharply.
"What's gotten into you?" he asked. "Why are you acting like this?"
"You say that like you know how I normally act," I said.
"More than you'd think," he responded.
"Because that's not fucking creepy," I responded, throwing my hands in the air.
"I can't help it, okay?" Laurie said, turning back towards me. "I didn't choose to get involved with this whole thing. I didn't choose you for this, and I obviously didn't intend to… feel the way that I do. Knowing you and having you not know me and feeling the way that I did—do—was one of the absolute strangest things I have yet experienced, and you can't even imagine all the strange things I have experienced in my life. And having you know about how I feel isn't making it any easier, especially when you do things like… whatever that was. I would never have told you because having you know just makes things awkward for both of us. It makes it extremely difficult to work with you when you can't even take me seriously."
"Maybe I could take you seriously if you could look at me with respect instead of lust," I said, scoffing. He was not going to turn this on me. This was not my fault.
"It is not lust," Laurie insisted.
"What then?" I snapped, then immediately regretted it—I wasn't sure I wanted to hear his answer to that question.
"I—I mean—" Laurie's eyes widened as he fumbled, and then he closed his eyes, shaking his head. "No. I just… I do respect you, Sophie. I have so much respect for you. You're intelligent and driven and… so passionate about learning and exploring new things. You're… ambitious and loyal and determined. You think you're awkward so sometimes you don't say much, and you think no one really cares what you have to say, but you're actually secretly kind of brilliant, really, even though you might not believe that. You shouldn't be so self-conscious. You're amazing. I have nothing if not respect for you. Even now. And I don't expect anything in return."
I was completely taken aback by Laurie's speech. My eyes widened, and my mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. I blinked, wishing I could go back and not push him to the point of saying all those things. He hadn't actually answered my question, but this was somehow much worse. I had never felt so guilty.
"Shit," Laurie said, shaking his head at himself and rubbing his forehead as he looked at the ground. "I'm sorry. You don't need to respond to any of that. I just want to be able to cooperate on this thing. Once this is all over you won't have to put up with me anymore."
"It's not that I don't like you, Laurie," I said, finally. "It's just… I don't know you at all. I know next to nothing about you, have barely even spoken to you, and yet you know so much about me that you have these intense feelings. Can you imagine how terrifying that is for me? To have someone I've just met looking at me like… well, you know how you feel. Just think of how that would be."
"I get it," Laurie said, nodding. "And like I said, I wish you hadn't found out because it doesn't help things. And I am sorry. I wish I could just… turn it off."
"The whole jealousy thing… it's not becoming—"
"I know, I know it's not my place to be—"
"—but nothing actually happened between me and Hades," I finished my sentence as though I hadn't been interrupted.
"Oh?" Laurie looked up hopefully.
"Laurie," I said sternly.
"Sorry."
"That doesn't mean I'm not attracted to Hades, or I didn't want to," I said. "But like I've said, I can take care of myself and I know that's not what I need."
"Right," Laurie said. "I feel like it's my responsibility to protect you, but… You're actually a lot more powerful than I am, so it is a bit ridiculous. And if Hades wanted to harm you, there's nothing either of us would be able to do about it anyway, even together."
"He wouldn't, though," I said. "He's been a gentleman to me."
Laurie looked skeptical, but kept his mouth shut this time. He was learning. I thought I might be able to tolerate him now. Maybe I could even get to know him. Perhaps we'd even be able to be friends through this. Once we were out of the Underworld, I thought, we'd probably get along at least a bit better.
"So…" I said, and began to walk further down the hallway. Laurie stepped along to walk beside me. "Like I said, I really don't know anything about you. Maybe you can tell me a little."
"What else do you want to know?" Laurie asked, seeming uncomfortable about having the spotlight directed on him, but reasonably willing to answer my questions.
"Details," I said. "Any details. I know some basics, but I don't know anything about who you are. It's the little things that make the difference. So you were going to grad school at UCL… Did you go there right after you got your first degree?"
"No," Laurie said. "I took a little time off to do some field work."
"Where did you do your field work?" I asked. We were walking slowly, not even looking at the art now, only at each other and sometimes at the ground.
"Greece, mostly," Laurie said, then smiled. "Something drew me there."
"Did you always know?" I asked. "About… your dad?"
"Yeah, as long as I can remember," Laurie said. "I didn't realize until it was time for me to start going to school that there was anything weird about it. My mom told me I couldn't tell people about my dad. She said they wouldn't believe me. She explained everything about modern religion to me, and what most people believed as opposed to what was really true. It was a lot for a little kid. I was confused, but I kept my mouth shut. When I got a little older and I really understood… maybe I had a bit of a superiority complex."
"You seemed pretty cocky the first time I met you," I said.
"Sorry," he looked sheepish.
"No, it's… fine," I said. "You don't have to apologize for that. How long have you lived in London for?"
"My whole life," Laurie said.
"Do you have a place there still?" I asked.
"Yeah, the apartment I grew up in," he said. "It's the only place I've ever lived."
"Any family?"
"No."
"None at all?"
"I don't think my mom's family was too interested in her after she had a child out of wedlock," he said, shrugging. "It's not like they would've believed the story, so I don't think she ever tried to tell them. She never talked much about them. I've never had any desire to know them."
I wanted to ask about his mother, but I knew I shouldn't. That was a conversation for close friends, and we were not.
"Any… pets?" I asked.
"A cat."
"Name?"
"Whiskers."
"And where is Whiskers now?" I asked.
"A friend from school's taking care of him," Laurie said. "He knows I'm in Greece, but he thinks it's for field work."
"You have friends?"
Laurie looked up, eyes wide, then he must have seen the smirk on my face.
"Stop," he said, laughing a little.
"What kind of music do you like?"
As if on cue, the beautiful music of a lyre suddenly filled the hallway and from the end, I could see a light shining around a corner. Laurie groaned and shook his head, but he was still smiling. Suddenly there was a cold gust of air from behind us and Hades between us, his arms around our shoulders. I could see Laurie bristle under the touch.
"Looks like playtime is over," Hades said. "Company is arriving."
