Salt of the Earth Chapter 9

Sam, Dean and Cas sat for a moment. None said a word. Dean kept his hands over his eyes, deliberately attempting to hide his response. To have his emotions uncontrollable, he considered, was undue punishment for a crime he didn't commit. God, there's babies inside me. Babies. And they're awake. AWAKE?! Do they hear me? Do they hear Sam? They're moving. God, I can't do this. I have to do this. It's for Sam. I'd die for him. I've TRIED to die for him. He needs someone for when I'm not here anymore. Someone to live for. Someone to pick up where I leave off. Okay. Freak out over.

Dean took a breath and laid his hands out to his side. "So, how often are we gonna have these little parties, huh? Can we find out what sex they are?" He sat up and put his feet on the ground, still sitting on the edge of the bed. "Can I have a party like the girls do? Get all kinds presents and stuff? And can we have pie instead of cake? I want pie."

Sam and Cas gazed at Dean, mouths open wide and speechless.

"What? In for a penny, in for a pound…"

Sam looked at Cas, who looked back at Sam. Neither said anything.

"Um…maybe once a month for a while. Then more often closer to the end." Cas answered tentatively. "I guess."

Dean took a breath, hiding his next freakout. "When would the end be? When will I feel them move? Any way you could kinda minimize that? At all?"

"They were conceived in late August, so mid-May would be considered full term. You should feel them move around what you would call Valentine's Day. And, no, I can't…numb you…to this. Since there's' two, you may feel them sooner, actually."

Dean mentally considered the date: the January 20th. Maybe three weeks from now he'd feel his nephews or nieces moving inside him.

Sam spoke up. "You okay?"

"Um, yeah, I think. I feel okay. I'm not really sick anymore-."

"Does anyone else on the farm know about this?" Sam asked, referring the question to Cas.

He shook his head. "No. I thought it best that no one knows specifics of your condition. Knowledge of it may open others up to manipulation should they go into the community. Or worse."

"Cas, you said something about a guardian angel when their hearts started beating. Is it you?" Sam asked.

"No. His name is Calliel. He has been assigned to both."

"Do we get to meet him? I dunno, accept his application or something?"

Cas smiled at the thought of Calliel sitting in an interview with Dean. "No. You'll see him when the time is right. He will reveal himself. Only the children will see him, but you'll know he's there. If he chooses to reveal himself to you, you'll recognize him. He's watching over them now."

"Great. My stomach is a fishbowl."

"Actually, they're lower in your abdomen still. The uterus has just moved up to-."

FREAK OUT.

"Uterus?! Cas, you didn't say anything about ladyparts!" Dean stood up. "I CAN"T have ladyparts!"

Can't breathe. Damn emotions. Where's the fucking paper bag?!

"Dean, they're necessary for the babies to grow."

"What, am I gonna grow boobs, too? PLEASE Cas, tell me I'm not gonna grow boobs!? Oh, God, ah, ah, ah, Va-jay-jay?!" Dean's legs wobbled and gave out for the second time since all this started, and again, Sam caught him.

Not contributing AT ALL to Dean's comfort, he said nothing. After he looked at Dean, he looked up at Cas.

"No, Dean, you will not grow...breasts. Nor do you or will you ever have a…vagina. That is the correct word-."

"I KNOW WHAT THE CORRECT WORD IS, CAS!" Dean roared, holding his head above his ears on his head and beginning to pace back and forth.

"I told you that the babies would be delivered the same way they went in, and you said 'In her, or in me'? and I said, 'In you.'-."

"I know, Cas. I remember."

"You keep interrupting."

Sam decided to relieve his brother of the questions and the overflow of emotion. "So, the only thing he has is a…uterus…and nothing else…aaaaand I'm assuming all the other parts will stay in place?" he winced at saying this out loud. Maybe he should have waited until Dean wasn't around…

"Yes. And the uterus will disappear as soon as they're born. They'll be no signs of the pregnancy or birth."

Dean was sitting again. "Will it hurt?"

Sam paused for a second and studied his brother. His eyes were wide with fear. He'd been stabbed, thrown through the air, broken bones, eaten by hellhounds, and been the subject of torture a la Alastair, but never had he seen his brother this afraid. This wasn't a pain that Dean could relate to. The only other comparable pain, he recalled, was passing a kidney stone, and Dean hadn't ever done that, either.

"Yes, I'm afraid," Cas began. "You will labor as a woman would. They need to go through this process as humans. I'll be with you through it all. So will Sam."

"Any chance of an angelic epi—whatdayacallit?"

"Epidural," Sam chimed.

"No. I'm sorry."

Dean sat on the bed and hung his head for a second and sighed deeply.

"Better be a damn big party."

SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN SPN

Both brothers left for work shortly after the meeting with Cas. Neither spoke to the other. They went through the day quiet as well, and apologized to their respective partners before signing off for the day.

When they met back at the house, they sat silent for a long time, each lost in their thoughts, channel surfing through game shows and primetime television.

Sam, his eyes never leaving the now-droning tv series, offered to cook. "You need to eat."

Dean drew in a breath. "Yeah, I guess I do. I just don't have much of an appetite."

Neither brother moved from their seats. It was as if they were partially paralyzed and glued to their chairs. The toll of an unexpected pregnancy was starting to show, and for the first time in a long time, they didn't know how to talk to each other.

Dean figured he would just start. Gotta do it somewhere, right?

"You ever been through this before?" Dean asked, again, his eyes not moving from the tv.

"What? No-I think. What do you mean?" Sam answered, lowering his brow in confusion. No-
I never got a guy pregnant, Dean…

"I mean, you and Jess never had an 'oops, I forgot my pill' thing? Or, 'hey honey, I'm late.' ?"

"No. Well, maybe once. She was, like, four days late. We were both freaked out."

Dean nodded, setting his jaw to the side, considering how things might have been different for Sam from that moment on in his life.

"You'd have been a good dad."

Sam cleared his throat as he felt some kind of emotional release. The tension was still there, but it was lessening. At least he hoped.

"How about you and Lisa?"

"Nope. She already had one surprise. Didn't want another. We talked about it, and then…it just never happened." He smiled and looked at his brother, then shook his head. "We've been through everything, man. We've seen shit that would send priests to the loony bin, we've both been to hell and back, we've been dead, we've talked to angels and pulled an H.G. Wells—We've time traveled! Why is this freaking us out?"

"Cuz it's normal. Well, kinda normal, given it's us. We didn't plan this. We weren't prepared. We're gonna be parents, Dean. We're gonna have to be responsible. And act like adults. I don't know what the first thing about what being a dad is. God, I can't imagine how you feel. All I know is that I don't wanna make the same mistakes dad did and you're my only guide. I'm scared shitless."

"We'll be fine," Dean said tentatively, trying to convince himself. "I guess. We just gotta be there for each other. We're both going batshit crazy. We gotta keep each other stable. If we can keep each other human, we can do this, right? There's a whole bunch of really nice people here, too. We're safe, they're safe. We gotta—pace ourselves—and not think too far ahead. At least for now."

Sam nodded and looked away until Dean grabbed him by the shoulders. "Sam, everything's gonna be alright. We got each other. You're gonna be a great dad. Cripe, I started at four years old and look at you! You're okay! You made it to adulthood, right? You're a Stanford grad. Granted, I wish I could've passed a little more of my appetite for junk food and hot women to ya, but you turned out, alright. A little nerdy, but I'm proud of you, you know?"

Sam said nothing, but wrapped his arms around his brother and stayed there for a moment. Characteristically, Dean hesitated for a second and then hugged his brother back just as tight.