A/N: Uh. I hope you find it amusing. At least a little. Yeah.


It was yet another Tuesday afternoon, and Puck was still at football practice when Rachel was watching Dani and they were baking cookies in the Puckermans' kitchen.

Well, Rachel was already mixing the second batch and was letting Dani decorate the first batch (because much like everything else Rachel does, she takes baking very seriously and intensely and poor Dani hadn't done much during the first batch of cookies).

"Why'd you make them in the shape of stars? Don't you have any other cookie cutters?" Dani asked curiously, while icing her name onto a cookie, sitting at the kitchen table.

Rachel smiled and said, "It's a metaphor, and metaphors are important. Those stars are a metaphor for me being a star one day."

"Like, a famous one?" Dani asked in awe as she looked up from her cookie.

"Yes. A very famous one."

"Wow," she whispered, before quickly snapping out her stupor. "You better not forget me when you're famous, Rachel," she said, completely serious, "Or you'll regret it."

Rachel gave a short laugh, the one that Dani always thought was pretty and sweet, even if it was a bit loud. "I'll send you letters and expensive gifts that you'll have absolutely no need for," Rachel joked.

With a slow nod, Dani replied with a teasing smile, "See? That's all I'm askin' for."

Rachel grinned and shook her head. They lapsed into a comfortable silence as Dani decorated more cookies and Rachel started cutting the cookies into stars and putting them onto the pan.

"Rachel?" Dani asked, hesitantly, now icing her brother's name onto a cookie. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course! What is it?" she replied, taking the cookie cutter and placing it onto a section of the dough.

"Do you and Noah ever…kiss?"

The question came as such a shock to Rachel that the star she was cutting out ended up lopsided and strangely cut off. "Excuse me?" she mumbled in shock, her voice strangely high-pitched.

Dani shrugged her little shoulders and said, "Noah's always bringing over pretty girls and sometimes they kiss or whatever. You're pretty. And you're, like, always, over. And Noah finally stopped avoiding you all the time."

"Uh, no, sweetie," Rachel said, laughed nervously, "I can honestly say that Noah and I have never kissed. And we never will," she finished with certainty.

The little girl frowned. "Why? Do you think he's ugly? All my friends think he's totally hot, which is gross. And super weird. Sometimes it's kinda funny. Like, if they're over and Noah says something to us, they'll start drooling. He thinks all my friends are dumb because of it, though."

Rachel hesitated, before choosing her words carefully in a slow, articulate manner, "Dani, your brother is, well, rather attractive even with his terrible haircut, but he and I don't like each other in that way. To be honest, we just recently became friends of a sort."

"Oh, okay," Dani said, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Because if Rachel started dating her big bro, she would most definitely be a step up from that super mean girl, Santana. And Rachel changed her clothes every day. And she didn't wear her hair in a stupid ponytail all the time.

With a worried frown, the older girl asked, "Dani, do you…do you often walk in on your brother kissing other girls?"

"Sometimes," Dani shrugged. "Once I walked in on him doing something like pushups or whatever on Santana. That was really weird," she said with a wrinkling of her nose. "He kicked me out really fast."

Dropping her jaw in shock, Rachel paled considerably at what that implied. When she still hadn't said anything for a while, Dani looked up at her in confusion.

"Are you okay, Rachel?"

Clearing her throat awkwardly, she waved her off. "Yeah, yeah! I'm fine!"

I need to give Noah a stern talking to.

The front door opened and Puck strolled into the kitchen, as if answering Rachel's wishes. "Whoa! Cookies?" he said excitedly, running into the kitchen. He began reaching for an already decorated cookie before Rachel sprinted over to the table and smacked Puck's hand away.

"None for you!" she blurted out.

Puck gave her his usual confused look whenever she did something crazy. "What the hell?"

Turning to Dani, she suggested brightly, "Why don't you go upstairs and pick out the movie you wanted us to watch?"

"Okay!" she chirped, running up the stairs without a backwards glance.

She waited until Dani was gone before turning to Puck. "You're disgusting, Noah Puckerman!" Rachel hissed at him, eyes narrowed into slits.

"What are you talking about? I just wanted a cookie," Puck said defensively, eyeing the cookies forlornly. "Look! Dani even put my name on one of them!" He pointed at said cookie childishly.

"No, she didn't!" Rachel yelled, reaching over and grabbing the bag of icing on the table. Puck watched with a sort of fascinated horror as Rachel began squeezing the icing all over his name. "There!"

Puck carefully backed away. "Dude, what are you on, today?"

"Dani and I had an interesting conversation today, while you were at football practice."

"Whatever she said, it's probably not true. You don't know how devious and manipulative Dani can be. It's okay, though," Puck said solemnly, "You're just a chick, and for whatever reason, chicks love little kids and can't see past the surface and into their dark, evil, twisted minds."

Rachel gave him a funny look. "What are you talking about?" Then she shook her head. "Never mind that! This is about your little sister and how she walked in on you while you were—" she paused, trying to think of a word, "—intimate with one of your girlfriends!" she hissed.

He looked at her, dumbfounded. "She told you about that?" When Rachel nodded fervently, Puck winced painfully. "Yeah, that was my bad."

"I cannot believe you were dumb enough to do such a thing with Dani home! That's absolutely wrong and that's not even mentioning all the possible trauma it could have caused!"

"Hey!" Puck said defensively. "Dani wasn't even home when I brought Santana over, okay? Mrs. Rosenberg saw that my truck was home and that I must have just 'forgotten to pick up Dani due to an exhausting football practice', so she was 'kind' enough to drop her off. I wasn't gonna pick her up until Santana and I were done, I swear."

This seemed to placate Rachel a little. "Really?"

Puck looked pained, as if he didn't want to admit this next part, "I…care—" he paused, looking as if he swallowed something nasty, "—enough about my sister to make sure she doesn't have to go through any traumatizing shit, okay?" He paused and shrugged. "Besides, she totally bought the whole pushups thing, so no damage, right?"

Rachel rolled her eyes but plucked up the star-shaped cookie with the large squiggle on it that had once spelled out NOAH and held it out for him. "Here's your cookie," she mumbled quietly.

"Thank you," Puck said, snatching it out of her hand and taking an enormous bite.

"But that's the only one you get."

Puck rolled his eyes and reached over to grab an undecorated cookie, only to have his hand smacked away for the second time. "Ow!"