(PotterRoolz is out on the streets. He comes up to someone, opens a case, and says.)

PotterRoolz: Hey, buddy, I got some quality wares. Wanna lookie?

Player 2: Whot've ye got 'en, stranger?

(PotterRoolz waves a hand at some fake jewellery.)

PotterRoolz: I got some fake ammys, fake necklaces, fake rings and bracelets - all guaranteed 100 genuine. Wanna score a lady with one of these onyx rings?

Player 2: Guaranteed? Then 'dis stuff 'at yoo said was fake must not b' fake! Onyx's pretty valooble, what'll yoo take for'et?

PotterRoolz: Only the genuine price - 6 million gold-er-oos.

Player 2: Leapin' Bagpipes! That's the cheapest offer a' never 'ad! Yoo got yer'self a deal, mun!

(Player 2 picks up the ring, and is just about to hand over the money when PotterRoolz says,)

PotterRoolz: The onyx ring is only available to paying customers.

Player 2: Boot a' am payin'. The moneys reight 'ere, mun!

PotterRoolz: No, you have to buy something else first.

Player 2: Whot yoo 'ave in mind?

PotterRoolz: Hmm ... a jade necklace? Only 700 mil.

Player 2: Deal, mun-

PotterRoolz: So, what'll it be?

Player 2: Whot yoo mean?

PotterRoolz: Well, of course, the item you have to buy before you can purchase the jade necklace ... what else?

Player 2: I'l take that emerald bracelet.

PotterRoolz: 850 mil, next item?

Player 2: Ghostspeak amulet.

PotterRoolz: 3 mil.

Player 2: Brass necklace.

PotterRoolz: 1.5 mil.

MANY HAUGHTY EXCHANGES LATER, PLAYER 2 FINALLY GETS THE ONYX RING, BUT AS FOR HIS STATE IN RESULT OF THE PAY ...

PotterRoolz: Well, guy, you might have a kinda handi-capped walk home after selling your car, cap, family heirlooms, and all your clothes including your underpants and socks, but at least your girlfriend will find sex a bit easier after that onyx ring. Say hi to the paparazzi and the pornographists for me!

(Player 2 is walking home, naked, carrying the ring in a box labelled "Congratulations, you have been scammed by PotterRoolz and reported for showing your dick to men out on the streets. Enjoy your ban!

THE END

Narrator: No it isn't! You can't end it yet, we need another paragraph!

SO WHAT?

Narrator: So, I dunno, say something about what happened after Player 2's ban.

NOTHING - HIS BAN DIDN'T END.

Narrator: So what about his girlfriend? He wasn't wearing any clothes.

JAGEX BAN JAIL GAVE HIM SOME, AND HIS GIRLFRIEND CAME IN LATER TO SMACK HIM FOR SPENDING THEIR KID'S COLLEGE FUND AND GIVING HER A FAKE RING

Narrator: Well, I dunno, let's just say it wasn't fake.

Player 2's Girlfriend: It wasn't? Ooh, where is it?

JAGEX THREW IT OUT.

Player 2's Girlfriend: Aww, fuck, why didn't they just confiscate it?

I DUNNO, I'M NOT JAGEX, I'M JUST TEXT WRITTEN BY LEO KING DOES FICS

Narrator: Hooray! We got that extra paragraph.

THE END.

Narrator: For real this time?

YEP

Narrator and Player 2s Girlfriend: Hooray.

Player 2: Groan