A/N- Thank you again for those of you who reviewed. Please take a minute to do this, to really tell me what you think of the story, and/or how you should think it ends.

Disclaimer: As always, the characters are not mine. The show (L&O- SVU) is not mine either. I just have them in my sandbox to play with.

Ch.9- Wounded

16 Precinct

All morning she had waited, imagining one scenario after another of how they would come and lead her away. She had recited names, from uni's to her superiors, wondering who among them would be the lucky bastard to cuff her. She had almost laughed out loud at one point, thinking that just maybe she had gone insane.

It was now late afternoon, and Olivia had gotten nervous. It shouldn't have taken this long. There had been little news from IAB, which Cragen had relayed promptly into the squad room as soon as he had heard. CSU had finished this morning. Nothing, or so the word had passed, had been found at the scene. IAB was conducting a full investigation spanning a square mile radius of his home. They had an entire precinct tied up.

Olivia had gotten next to nothing done. She was thankful today her captain paid little attention. The only one who did was now clearing his throat for the third time in the past minute.

"Liv, we need that finished before tomorrow, you know." He was choosing the lighter approach, not wanting to fight here and now. A hell of a lot of talking needed to be done, but not now. The time for that would come soon enough, and Elliot had already made up his mind. She would talk.

"I know, I'm just tired. Need some coffee," she stated as she rose from her chair, heading toward their own little café. She needed it strong today. Not because she was tired, although she should be after being up all night last night. She needed the dark, bitter flavor to overcome the gagging sensation the taste of vomit had left in her mouth earlier.

Olivia seemed calm as she poured her cup full. She was intent on staying that way, no use in getting upset, it was over and done. She did what she had to, what she wanted to for a change. Thinking about such a thing for almost the span of a year, it was easy to say she was comfortable with her choice.

What she wasn't comfortable with was the time that had passed, and the idea that something had to be going on. Comprehending a few ideas, Olivia came to the conclusion that she had to find out something. Obviously her Captain was keeping everyone in the dark, maybe even for her own benefit. Either that or IAB was keeping the lid on the investigation. There was no reason why it should have taken so long. She figured she did everything but leave her name, address, phone and badge number for them.

His sighing had gotten contagious. As she let out a long winded breath, she returned to her seat to drink her coffee and maybe reconsider her options. She could still turn herself in. Her Captain's door seemed to be waiting, open wide, for her to waltz in.

Damn her for being so calm. Elliot Stabler could not fathom how his partner was just sitting there…relatively doing nothing. After the turn of events last night, he figured she would be a total bitch of a woman today. A little emotion had shone in her though, but nothing like he imagined. It was almost like it was the complete opposite of what she should have been.

If ever anyone had a strong disposition, it was Olivia Benson. That much he was quite sure about. She was the strongest woman he knew. Hell, she could be one of the strongest men he knew as well. Either way, Olivia Benson was not only physically tough, but mentally as well. Today proved it.

Being in his own little dream world of her, Elliot only caught the last few steps she had taken before vanishing out the squad room door. It wasn't quite time to take off, and Cragen sure hadn't sent any of them home, so he assumed she was slipping out again. Only this time, she wouldn't be alone.

Across the street from Tucker's block

It was typical for the NYPD to think more of their own than the average victim. Olivia despised the idea. A victim was a victim, whether it be a small child or a lone hooker or Edward Tucker. Everyone was someone in her book.

It had most likely been a circus that morning. Olivia, thinking the only way to really find out what was going on was to return to his apartment, had made her way towards his street. She knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but if she had ever walked that line lately, she would not need to be doing exactly what she was doing.. Which was trying to determine if she could slip, unnoticed, back inside.

The whole street had been marked, the crime scene tape looking like a kid had run rampant with it. She counted four squad cars, minus the unmarked two on the opposite end of the street from her. Officers lazily strolled, making their presence known. And this was the street behind his place. She could only imagine what patrolled the front.

She waited and watched for five or six minutes, standing quietly in the shadows next to Candy's Confections and the beginning of a row of townhouses. She had walked through the narrow alley behind her, carefully watching for any surprises while inhaling the sweet smells of sugar she had so often let lift her spirits after leaving him. Unlike before, the aroma just did not have the same sweet smell. It was heavy and dark and reminded her of the cold. Like death.

They say on a clear day you can see forever. Well even though the sun had shone bright on this mid Spring day, Olivia could only see so far to the back door she was targeting. After that she knew it was simple enough to scoot up the stairs and into this room. That was Plan A. It was her only plan.

She had her own keys. Tucker had made sure of it. In the midst of this mess, however, Olivia knew that most likely the doors had been left open. At least for now. The NYPD had a weakness in their own pride, figuring no one would even try to get in with so many cops around. She bet it was easier than the average person thought.

Although no traffic could come through, the street was heavily populated with vehicles, and it was easy for Olivia to hide behind the van parked in front of the Confections business. Obviously it was used for catering, as she noticed the fancy writing on the side before she turned to lie her back flat against it. Closing her eyes and whispering words of hope, she planned her next move. She needed to cross the street. Now she just needed another barrier to hide behind.

The tug that pulled her arm was blinding in pain at her wrist and shoulder. Yet, Olivia made no sound, only a slight whimper. As her eyes opened and focused on something other than the quickly passing objects, she found herself being led back to the narrow alley she had came from. As far as nightmares go, this maybe could have been her worst.

"What the living hell you doing, Olivia?" Elliot Stabler was angry. His face painted a whole new shade of red, but due to the grace of God, he somehow kept from screaming at her. Pushing her up against the wall, deep in the alley, he held her firmly.

"Elliot…Why are you here?" Surprise a modest word to describe what she was feeling.

"I could ask you the same thing," he spit back, looking quickly in both directions. He felt her hands grasp his wrists, pushing back to get free. He tightened his hold. "The only place you're going is with me."

"Elliot, I have to…" She let her guard down a little, so close to where she needed to be, just for a moment or two.

"Liv, get in the car," he pointed to the opposite end of the alley, where the sedan now sat in wait. He wondered just how much it would take to get her in that car, as he saw her glance a look toward the direction of Tucker's place. "Liv," he whispered closer to her, "there's nothing left in there."

As required by the NYPD, and the state of New York, all employees are tested every year during their physical for any hearing abnormalities. She had always passed with flying colors. However, times like these, Olivia questioned the nature of their testing, the equipment they used. For all good things sacred and endearing, she had thought she heard her partner saying something to the effect of 'there's nothing left in there'.

The unbelief showed on her face. She lost the strength in her hands and arms, and dropped his wrists. Her legs felt wobbly, and the thought occurred to her that she just might slip down the wall she was leaning against any second.

"We need to talk." Elliot placed a hand on her shoulder, gently leading her towards their vehicle.

Stabler Residence

"I told Cap we needed to leave early," he explained as he led her inside, shutting the door and locking it behind them. The lock just guaranteeing them even more privacy, although he expected no one to just barge in.

He tossed his keys over to the table, almost sending them off the other end.

"You want to start? Tell me what the hell's going on?" His voice wasn't loud, nor was it calm and soft either.

There was the question she had been waiting for during the extraordinarily long drive to his place, and it had been much closer than driving all the way across town to hers. The simple fact was, she had no idea what to tell him. There was always the option to lie again, that option opening door upon door upon door, until the maze she had created had consumed her into oblivion. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad right now.

Then as she looked at her partner, and remember the sacred words he had finally told her, Olivia knew the only thing to tell him. It wasn't the whole truth, nor was it a whole lie. They were words he would have to come to terms with. He'd probably never forgive her, but the reasons behind it all were still best hidden and maybe even forgotten.

"I wanted inside." It was all she could start with.

"Inside." He had no idea why he repeated her.

"I couldn't believe nothing was there, Elliot." Her voice was low, and she sank her body even lower on his sofa, noticing the spring that stuck out against the back of her thigh. It felt sharp, even through her work pants.

Elliot nodded, taking a minute to sit beside her. Maybe she would explain things this time.

"Elliot," the lump in her throat grew bigger, and suddenly she wanted to cry. "I had been….Ed Tucker and I…" She could not bring herself to finish. This would kill Elliot for sure. It had already ingrained within herself death and destruction, and a web of lies she would no doubt add knots to on this day as well.

"You had been with him." Speaking firmly, but softly, he finished the thought for her. He couldn't look at her. For the love of God, he had ran this over his mind a million times, but came up with no reasons why she had done such a thing; had sex with him.

"Liv, I followed you that night. I followed you to Tucker's. I was afraid someone was taking my partner away from me. I watched and waited. You didn't stay long. I watched you leave and I wanted to confront Tucker. I found the door unlocked, went in, found his body." Elliot stopped, ran his hands over his face. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I panicked, Liv. Couldn't believe you would do such a thing." Out of the corner of his eye he saw her lower her head, rubbing her hands along the tops of her thighs. "So I cleaned it up. Couldn't let you go down, whatever the reason. I just….I love you too much." The last words were so low, a decrescendo in musical terms.

Now it made sense. She was still a free woman. Elliot had taken care of her, had taken care of the mess she had made. He had put himself on the line for her once again. He had known, all this day, as he sat across from her. He had known and not said a word. She couldn't fathom a love so strong that would make a man, with a powerfull will such as Elliot's, toss his belief's into a mixer and laugh at them. It was then that the tears slowly began to make their way down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Elliot," Olivia whispered. That's all she could give him right now.

Nodding, he stood up and looked at her. "Why don't you stay here. I know you'll probably not eat much, but I'll order and then we can finally get some sleep maybe. Neither of us slept last night. "You still have a bag in the car?"

"Yea," she replied, knowing what he meant. She kept a spare personal bag in the trunk, along with his. In their job, they needed it quite often in the field.

"I'll go get it. Make yourself at home, huh? Maybe later we can talk some more, if you want."

She heard the door shut and wondered just how much more she could talk about with him. He hadn't gotten angry with her. What he was, was hurt. She knew it took a huge bite from his heart. That wound would bleed for some time, and the healing would be slow.

Another A/N- How slow will the healing of Elliot's broken heart be? And will he really find out why Liv was having sex with him? Stay tuned for more...