"So, I think I'm kind of gay," Arthur volunteered the next morning, padding into the kitchen where Merlin was cooking breakfast. Arthur had woken up that morning to Merlin between his legs, briefly worried that he'd taken up with a shameless hussy then all thoughts of this disappearing as Merlin sucked at him harder, sending Arthur spectacularly over the edge.

Merlin quirked an eyebrow, flipping the bread in the pan with an eggy spatula. "What tipped you off?" Arthur sent him a suggestive look and Merlin rolled his eyes, transferring the french toast to a plate.

Arthur came up behind him and snaked his arms around Merlin's slender waist. "I think we should keep this just between us for now," he said carefully, praying to God that Merlin didn't take this the wrong way. Merlin stiffened in his embrace and Arthur placed a soothing kiss to the back of his neck.

Merlin spun around. "Why?" he asked, warily. "Do you regret it?"

"No," Arthur said, instantly. "Of course not." He watched as Merlin's face instantly relaxed. "I just…I'm not ready for people to know -"

"That you're gay" Merlin finished, with a raised eyebrow. "Okay," he said, causing Arthur's chest to tighten with hope, he had been sure Merlin would argue this.

"Really? You don't mind?"

"Well, I'm not over the moon about it, but I remember what it was like when I first realised so, yeah, if time is what you need then that's fine. I just want you," he said, sealing his words with a kiss. He thought for a moment, before adding, "Gwen doesn't count though."

Arthur nodded. "Morgana will probably drag it out of me as well," he admitted. "But, nobody else. Until I can wrap my head around all this…" He made a waving movement with his hand, gesturing between them.

Merlin smiled in agreement, bringing a hand up to brush Arthur's hair from where it had fallen in his eyes. Arthur couldn't help letting an exuberant grin spread across his face and Merlin's eyes twinkled. "What?" Arthur demanded.

Merlin laughed. "That grin is very unnatural on your face, I'm too used to you scowling at me all the time." Arthur responded by smacking Merlin's arse with a cry of: "Cheeky". Merlin wriggled out of his arms, giggling.

Arthur advanced on him with a predatory glint in his eyes. "We are very lucky we don't have to do the show this morning, I don't think I could keep my hands off you long enough."

"That sounds good," Merlin said, backing into the bedroom slowly. Arthur watched him before jumping and running after him, laughing. He pounced on Merlin, pinning him to the bed and feeling more free and joyful than he could ever remember being.

"Why me?" Merlin asked, as they languished in bed some time later. The breakfast had long since gone cold but neither men could contemplate leaving bed long enough to make any more.

Arthur stopped tracing lazy patterns of Merlin's chest to give him a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you said yourself you've liked girls your whole life, so what was it about me that turned you?" Merlin laughed as Arthur closed his eyes in grimace at the phrase, whacking him lightly. "I'm serious, why me?"

Arthur propped himself up on one elbow. "Why do you want to know?"

"I just do," Merlin replied, and he really did. He didn't kid himself; he knew he wasn't much to look at. He was interesting, he'd give himself that, but compared to the devastating physical perfection of Arthur, he just didn't compare. He didn't say any of this, of course.

Arthur considered Merlin's question for just a second before he answered. "You remember when you saw my father yelling at me?" he asked, slowly. Merlin nodded, his eyes darkening at the memory of Uther's unkind words. Arthur continued, "Sometimes, I feel there's so much expected of me, that I can hardly breathe. But, being with you, was always so easy, even from the very beginning. I haven't got to be Arthur, heir to the Pendragon empire, I can just be myself." He blushed, as if his words were unexpected, even to him and laid his head back down, resting it on Merlin's chest.

Merlin felt a cheesy, soppy smile take over his face at Arthur's words, burying his head in Arthur's silky, golden hair. It seemed mad, just yesterday he and Arthur hadn't been speaking and now, they were here in bed together. His insides hadn't stopped flip-flopping since Arthur had first kissed him last night and didn't show any sign of planning to now. "I never knew you were such a softie," he teased, to which Arthur growled, yes, actually growled and Merlin kissed him deeply and desperately, thinking that there was no way he could ever have Arthur and then not have him, it would be as if the world ceased to exist. That thought scared him more than he thought possible and he wondered how he'd become so invested in one night. Maybe he always had been.


It was close to afternoon before Merlin and Arthur dragged themselves out of bed, their need for sustenance outweighing their need for each other and it was even longer before Merlin checked his phone to find many increasingly frantic texts from Gwen, inquiring as to his whereabouts. The last one read, 'Merlin, if your skinny behind does not walk through this door in the next hour, then I will hunt you down and personally strangle you!' Merlin sent a quick one back: 'I'm fine, leaving soon. Calm down before you give yourself an aneurysm.'

Merlin looked over to where Arthur was lounged across the sofa, eagerly munching on freshly made french toast. His hair was tousled and completely flat on one side, there were pillow creases on his face and Merlin was fairly sure if he smelled him, then he would actually smell of sex. Merlin's heart actually contracted at the thought of leaving him, even for a brief period.

He perched himself on the arm of the sofa. "So sometime, I am actually going to have to leave," he said, grabbing Arthur's remaining slice of toast.

"I have to disagree," Arthur replied, without pausing, looking up at Merlin.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Morgana will come home eventually," he argued, giving a noise of surprise as Arthur pulled him onto his lap.

"I'll change the locks," Arthur said, trying to maintain a straight face. "She's at Leon's most of the time anyway."

Merlin smiled. "Fair enough, but Gwen's threatened me with death if I don't come home soon." Merlin knew Gwen would follow through as well. When he'd first starting seeing Will, he'd not returned her calls for four days and Gwen responded by calling his mother. Merlin would never recover from the trauma of his mother walking in on him and Will, in a particularly compromising position on the kitchen counter. What followed was a conversation about food hygiene and safe sex that Merlin had never been quite able to repress. He inwardly smiled at the memory until a small flicker of something close to guilt appeared in his bottom of his gut at the thought of Will whilst he was straddling Arthur's lap.

"Well, we can't have that," Arthur said, lightly, shaking him out of his thoughts. "Who would I go to for sex?" He emphasised this by cupping Merlin's crotch, causing him to arch against him.

Merlin playfully pushed Arthur away. "No," he warned, drawing an adorable pout from Arthur at the lack of contact. It took all of Merlin's willpower to prevent himself kissing Arthur which would undoubtedly lead to another hour or two in the bedroom and he would quite like to avoid a brutal murder at Gwen's hands, thank you very much. "I'm serious Arthur," he said. "I've just got to nip home and reassure Gwen, maybe sleep and shower then I'll see you tomorrow for the show, bright and early." He sent Arthur a dazzling grin that he knew Arthur wouldn't be able to refuse.

He could see Arthur's resolve weakening. "Fine," Arthur sighed. Merlin saw Arthur begin to put back up the walls that had been down since last night. He leant forward, his lips close to Arthur's ear. "I don't want to leave, you know I don't," he whispered. When Arthur simply shrugged his shoulders in reply, Merlin tried a different approach. He brushed his lips against Arthur's ear, blowing hotly and bit gently down on the lobe. He felt Arthur shiver beneath him, the evidence of his arousal pressing into his thigh. Arthur pulled his head back, his eyes darkened with lust. "All right, but blow me before you go?"

Merlin wasn't quite sure who had won but at this point, he didn't care, smiling as he leant down to kiss Arthur.


"I'm home Gwen," Merlin called, pulling his key out of the door and depositing it in the orange dish on the desk by the front door, as his phone buzzed yet again in his pocket. "You can stop texting me." His eyes scanned the room and located Gwen sitting in the faded green chair by the bookcase. She had a cup of tea in her hands and was shooting daggers at Merlin from across the room.

She stood up and walked over to Merlin. "Don't do that to me again," she said, hitting Merlin repeatedly with tiny fists, who held up his hands in defence.

"Gwen, stop it, Gwen," he pleaded, grabbing her tiny wrists. "I'm sorry," he added sincerely.

Gwen seemed to relax at his apology, stopping her physical abuse of Merlin. "You really scared me Merlin, I had no idea what had happened to you," she said disapprovingly and Merlin ducked his head in shame. "Gwaine just said you weren't feeling well and you took off. Did you really not like him that much Merlin?"

Merlin brought his head up quickly. "What? No, no, nothing to do with Gwaine. He was lovely but…" Merlin trailed off, unsure what to say because the truth was that Gwaine was perfect, he just wasn't Arthur.

"Yes?" Gwen prompted, impatiently. "Where have you been?"

Merlin took a deep breath. "I was with Arthur," he said, watching as Gwen's eyes widened.

"Arthur?" Her brow furrowed and Merlin watched her mind work through it all. "But I thought - you and Arthur? Right ok, that was unexpected." She sat down onto the edge of the desk.

"Yeah, I didn't really expect it either," Merlin admitted, unable to stop a ridiculously large smile appearing on his face. Gwen's expression softened considerably at this and she placed her arm around his waist, pulling him into a warm hug, Merlin resting his stubbly chin on her soft curls. "And I am sorry about Gwaine," he added apologetically.

"It's okay, he's pretty easy going. He'll understand," Gwen pulled back to kiss him on the cheek.

Later that evening, once Merlin had showered and changed and Gwen had made a pot of tea, they sat down on the sofa with a steaming cup of tea and Merlin filled Gwen in on the whole story. She listened patiently until he'd finished before falling back into the cushions. "I can't believe you didn't tell me any of this," she said finally, shooting Merlin an accusing look.

Merlin shook his head. "There was never really much to tell, to be honest. I mean, it never really seemed to get going. Then, last night happened," he said, taking a sip of tea and wincing at the heat. "We're keeping it quiet for now though."

Gwen looked sympathetic. "You don't mind that?" she asked.

"Not for now," Merlin answered, just hoping that Arthur didn't want to keep it secret for too long. He'd come 'out of the closet' when he was nineteen to his mother and his friends, he really had no desire reverse that. After a moments thought, Merlin chose now to ask Gwen for something he'd been wanting to do for a while, even more so since last night. "Gwen, I need you to do something for me," he said, looking down at his hands.

Gwen ducked her head down to look at Merlin's hidden face. "Anything," she offered.

Merlin swallowed, closing his eyes, then raising his head to meet her deep brown eyes. "I need you to visit Will's grave with me."