Okay i know that most of you probably hate me because i have not updated for a while and this chapter is really short but i don't know... I'm just having a hard time and i want to finish this story but i'm having a hard time just getting up in the morning but i won't give up, everything is just crashing down on me right now and i don't know how to handle it... But i will update really soon i promise, thanks for reading.


Life is a strange thing, it keeps on bringing you down, it tests you to the point of your breaking point and all you can do is nothing as you watch it destroy the story that you had been building. Watch it all crash and burn at your feet and its like there's a glass wall between you and the thing that is making it all spin out of control is just behind that glass and you can do nothing. But then something good happens, something that brings a little bit of light in that dark hole of yours and you think, hey maybe life isn't that bad after all. Maybe i can get through this with that light by me. And then the light eventually goes away. And then you wait for a new light, until you find another one, only to have it go away. Again. And all through life you try to keep on finding that light again. We're all trapped in life because it gives you small hopes, small but enough to make you want more, searching for that so called light. And death seems to make it seem like there is no light, only darkness because you can't look anymore. Its a vicious cycle life plays on you to keep it in its grasp. Because like humans, life is greedy.


Castiel drops the phone from his hand something that feels much to heavy now, it felt so light in his hand just a moment ago and then in another it was like he was carrying the whole entire world in just the palm of his. He can't even process where he is, where was he? He looks up and see's a face, it looks concerned, and scared, that green in its eyes.

"Dean," he says as he slowly begins to process his surroundings. He's with Dean, he had been happy just a moment ago with him, Dean said that he loved him and he felt like his world was soaring, and now all he felt was numb surrounding him. Dean is saying something and then he embraces him hugging him tightly. Castiel sits there for a moment before he realizes that his eyes were pressed against Dean's shoulder and were starting to feel sore. He lifts up his face his vision blurring and then sets. Dean's shirt is wet, is he crying? He hadn't even notices the tears springing from his eyes.

"Dean i need you to drive me to the hospital." He says. It doesn't sound like him when he speaks, the voice he hears is hollow and empty.

"Cas what happened?'' Dean says sounding scared. What happened? He can't say it. It hurt too much just to hear it, it hurts to think it, how could he say it? So he says nothing. He lets himself go numb again.

"Cas buddy, you gotta communicate with me," Dean pleads after Cas stays silent.

"I need to go to the hospital. I'll explain on the way." Castiel says vaguely. He can't say more than that. Why did this have to happen to him. It was always him.

Dean grabs somethings from his room as he sits on the edge of his bed and stares at him as Dean puts on his shirt and grabs his jacket and then his trench coat from the floor. He goes over to Castiel and helps his stand up and puts his arm around his shoulders as he puts the trench coat around him.

"Its cold out there will you be okay in just that?" Dean asks. He's always worrying about him wearing his trench coat, whether it'll make him to hot or too cold, Dean's too nice to him. Castiel nods his head.

Dean takes the end of his sleeve and starts to lead Castiel out of the room and to the car. Castiel leans up onto Dean's side so he can support some of his weight and wraps his arms around his waist not wanting to part with him. Dean puts a comforting arm around Castiel and kisses the top of his head as they make their way out of the door and to the impala.

Castiel curls up into a ball in the passenger seat and leans against the car door. He watches things zoom by in a blur as Dean drives fast who occasionally will look at Castiel probably wanting Castiel to tell him what's wrong. But no words come out of Castiel, they won't come so they drive in an eerie silence.

Castiels stomach drops as they pull up to the hospital and Dean starts to search for a parking place. He sits there in the silence that almost hurts his ears from how quiet it is, he never did like the quiet, it is what follows when he has to go what he should call a home, but to him is just a house that he is stuck in.

"Cas, you have to tell me what happened now. What's going on?" Dean asks. Castiel opens his mouth but his words seem to be stuck and they don't come out, so he does the first thing that comes to his mind. He runs.