A/N: Hello faithful readers. 3rd chapter for today, and it's a weird one. It moves seamlessly through 60 years quickly, so don't blink or you'll miss it! Some pretty important plot points were born out of this chapter... You'll see.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Disney or the Avengers.
The world learned of Steve's sacrifice, and Hitler's reign was ended. Japan surrendered, and treaties were signed. For our efforts during the war against Hydra, the Commandos amd myself were given promotions. I would later learn that Dugan and Phillips had started a petition for me to even get promoted. Washington deemed my efforts valiant, despite my loss. I was promoted to Colonel, taking over for Chester, who would be retiring in the coming years. The world spun on for everyone else, but for me it stood still. I got back to the States, staying with Howard for a bit in New York, before I would head to Greece, to take in the calm of my parents homeland. Phillips granted me an open ended leave, knowing when I came back, I would be ready to work. I had assumed command of the Howling Commandos, but for now that role would be taken by Chester and Dugan until I was up to the task.
Howard was the first goodbye. He was heading out on a mission to find Steve's body, with the hope that he might actually still be alive. After several (53) failed attempts at taking my own life, Howard was puzzled how nothing I did had worked, only knowing about the last three. He didn't want them to, but it puzzled him enough to recruit a scientist or two to study my cells. I waited for news, hoping to have some reason my attempts failed, to try better in the future.
It was at the moment that Howard told me I wasn't aging, that I knew I was in for an eternity of hell. I just wanted to join Steve and Bucky. Because being alone and young, while everyone I ever loved grew old and died, was purgatory. Howard wanted to have me committed, but I told him I just needed time. It was a lot to wrap my head around after all I lost. And he kept it quiet, to keep me from being discharged. He knew how important it was for me that I had a distraction, something for me to feel useful at.
Peggy was the second goodbye. Tearful, because I didn't know when I would be back. Howard would fly over to see me every now and then, just to ensure I didn't follow through with my suicide attempts again. But Peggy assured me I was stronger than this, no humor intended.
Ana and Edwin were next, giving me best wishes and their condolences. Ana assured me that she would look after Howard, as Jarvis did. Of course, Howard would be Howard, there was no stopping him.
My last stop was in Brooklyn, at a modest Brownstone across the road from a diner. I rung the bell to have a woman in her late fourties answer, "May I help you?"
"Are you Mary Barnes?" I asked softly, clutching the box of Bucky's things tighter in my hands.
"I am."
"My name is Elizabeth… Rogers," I said, feeling my eyes well up without permission. Her eyes softened on me, and she gave a watery smile to me, "Come in please."
As I stepped inside, I asked if I needed to remove my shoes. She waved me off, telling me to find a seat in the living room. She called upstairs, "Robert! Can you come down here?"
"I just boiled some water. Would you like some tea, or coffee?" She said, as I took a seat.
"Tea please."
"Cream or sugar?"
"Two sugars, thank you," I said, taking my gloves off. A man came down the stairs, still reading a paper, where I saw Steve's picture with the headline, HERO REMEMBERED.
There had been an empty grave, marked for Steve next to his parents in the Brooklyn cemetery, and another in Arlington in DC. I was at the one that mattered.
I wiped my eyes slightly, as the man looked up at my sniffle. He closed the paper and said, "Hello."
"Hello Mr. Barnes," I said, standing to hold out my hand.
"Robert, this is Steve's wife, Elizabeth," Mary said coming back to the parlor with the tea on a tray. Robert shook my offered hand and said, "Pleasure to meet you. I wish it could be under different circumstances."
"The pleasure is all mine. I wanted to meet the parents who raised such a good man, and you were like second parents for Steve as well. He loved you very much," I said, as we all sat down.
"We loved Steve like a second son. Rebecca thought of him as her brother too. James was very lucky to have had someone like Steve as a friend," Robert said, taking the cup of tea his wife offered him. She got up to set my own on a saucer on the coffee table in front of me.
"Thank you."
"You seem like you have something on your mind," Mary said, as I took my first sip of tea.
"I do. I came here today, because… I promised myself and Steve I would return these to you in person," I said, putting down my cup and gently placing the box on the table in front of them.
"I thought you deserved a personal delivery, not an army courier," I said, noticing Mary's eyes swimming with tears.
"We were worried when nothing showed up," Robert said as Mary tentatively reached for the box containing what remained of their son's life.
"There is a letter for you two in there, and one for Rebecca. He wrote one for Steve and I as well," I said, stopping to sniffle, "That Steve got to hear before…"
Mary was crying silently as she opened the box, seeing his dog tags and said letters first. A few books, his dress uniform, and a few knick-knacks from Hydra bases we raided. Mary raised the letter to her lap, squeezing her eyes shut as she tore into it. She held the letter with shaking hands, as Robert lifted the dog tags from the box. Steve had forgotten his in his bunk, and I had worn one on my own chain since I found it. I had wanted one of Bucky's but his spare set was meant for his family.
Mary sobbed as she read, Robert waiting to read it himself, as his wife cried. I looked down at my ring, the last reminder I had of them both and cried.
The letter switched hands, as Mary suddenly left the room, quickly taking the stairs to the next floor. Robert sighed heavily, nodding his head at the letter, as if agreeing with something Bucky wrote. He finished the letter in silence, looking up at me inquisitively and looking up at the ceiling as we heard Mary moving around for a few minutes.
Mary walked back down the stairs slowly, cradling something in her hands, and giving me a watery smile. She sat back down, as Robert handed me the letter.
"No, it's for you," I said, "I already have my own."
"You'll want to read what he says," He said, putting it down on the table, and wiping his eyes.
Dear Mom and Dad,
If this makes it to you, I didn't make it home. I'm sorry I won't be there to see Becca get married or for you to meet your grandchild.
My blood ran cold at those words, glancing up at the Barnes' faces.
This is going to seem wrong to you, because the world says its wrong, but Steve and I both loved Beth, and she loved us. And Steve and I loved each other. Don't look on them with disgust, because they gave me more joy in the last two years than I ever deserved. I asked Steve if he wanted to marry Beth, because that way they would have each other, and I would get them too. It was only yesterday that Beth told us she was pregnant. If I don't make it, please love that baby, even if it's Steve's. Because it's partly mine too. They are the two loves of my life and I would hate to know that our baby couldn't have any grandparents.
Mom, Beth deserves Grandma Anne's locket. It was meant for my bride on her wedding day, and I couldn't give it to her when she married Steve. Please give her it with your love. Steve needs you to smother him as well, but don't tell him I said that.
Dad, Steve is going to mess up sometimes. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid that upsets Elizabeth. Help him out of his own way. And love Beth too, because she needs more family than just Howard. He gets in his own head and forgets the outside world at times. So does she, but she hides it better.
Love her as you would my bride, because that's what she is to me. Love Steve in my place, because I know he is a son to you as well. Kiss that baby for me and tell Beth and Steve not to cry for me. I already wrote them not to, but I know they won't listen.
I'm at peace, and I hope you know I died doing what I believed in. I was incredibly lucky to have you guys as parents, and remember that you raised me right. Tell Becky to read her letter and not just stare at it for hours, will ya? I know I could have been doing something safer during the war, but this was my choice. To fight for our futures, and now I can be at peace knowing you are safe.
I love you both,
Bucky
I pulled my handkerchief from my purse, drying my eyes after my sobbing stopped. I looked up at Robert and Mary to see them giving me small smiles, eyes shining with what looked like acceptance.
"How far along are you?" She asked, and I sobbed again, shaking my head.
"When Bucky… when I heard what had happened, I was in a lot of pain. I didn't know what was physical or emotional. But I blacked out, and woke up, no longer…" I said, as Mary got up to come wrap her arms around me shoulders, letting me cry against her.
The front door opened after a minute of my crying and a voice said, "Ma? Pa?"
"In here Rebecca," Robert said, moving towards the kitchen.
A girl appeared at the doorway to the hallway, and I wiped my eyes.
"Rebecca, this is Steve's wife, Elizabeth… Beth."
"Bucky called me Beth, Steve called me Elle, Howard calls me Lilabit," I said, giving her a small smile and holding out my hand. She bypassed my arm, enveloping me in a hug. She released me after a moment and said, "It's so good to finally meet you."
"It's good to meet you too Becca. Bucky talked about you guys so much, I felt as though you were already family I knew you so well," I said, as she sat down next to her father, who handed her a cup of tea.
"I felt as though I knew you too. Bucky would write about how amazing you were, and I knew he loved you and Steve with his whole heart," She said, and both her parents looked at her.
"I mean, as siblings," She said, trying to take back her words, "Shit."
"Language, young lady," Mary said and then softened.
"We know Becca," Robert said, handing her the letter on the table and saying, "He explained everything to us."
"A baby?" she said halfway through, excited. I shook my head as Mary said, "A lot has happened since he wrote these letters."
"I'm sorry Beth," She said, deflating before turning back to read the rest of the letter to her parents.
"Where are you working now?" Mary asked, changing the subject.
"I am on an extended leave from the Army. The SSR is re-tasking, and I don't have my head on right yet. I needed a little time, so I was going to go back to Europe for a bit. Greece specifically, see where my parents grew up, reevaluate where my place is in the world."
"Reevaluate?" Robert asked.
"I'm not aging. The Serum I got was like Steve's, so if I am aging, it's extremely slower than the average person. I'm… I'm trying to find meaning in my life, if I don't have either of them in it."
"You have us," Mary said after a moment, before pulling something out of her pocket.
"This was Robert's mother's. She gave it to me on my wedding day and asked it go to our son's bride on theirs," She said, opening my hand to place a small box in it. She smiled at me, "Open it."
I did as asked, my breath catching as I eyed the silver locket. It was a medium sized circle, with a filigree wreath design on the front. It had two jewels hanging from above the locket, with two silver leaf charms. I looked up at her in awe, "It's beautiful."
"I found a small picture of the boys upstairs when I grabbed it from my room," she said, "I thought it might fit well."
I opened it to see my fellas, smiling at the camera, obviously from before the war. Steve was a foot shorter than Bucky, with his head tucked in the crook of Bucky's arm. My boys, I thought sadly.
"This is how I want to remember them, carefree and happy," I said, looking up at Mary. She smiled at me and said, "We're the only ones that will remember them how they were before the war. So we need to stick together."
"You are family now," Robert said, handing my one of Bucky's dog tags as well, and I nodded, "Yes sir."
I left the Barnes's home, knowing I would be back to see them. I still was headed to Greece, but I would be in touch with them. Howard came to lay low with me for a month as he was branded a traitor when his inventions were stolen. He eventually had to move on since he didn't want to get me in trouble. Rebecca was enthusiastic in her letters, always so in love with the pictures I took. She wanted me to come home to meet her beau, so I took a week off of my self-isolation to catch up with my other family. Peggy was ecstatic to see me, introducing me to her friend Angie at the Automat and regaling me with the latest in the intelligence agency, and how all the men were sexist.
It made me want to come home, just to give her some support, but I wasn't ready yet.
A year later, I came back for Becca's wedding, standing up as her matron of honor. And then another year later when she gave birth to her first child, a baby boy they named James, for her brother. And of course for Peggy's wedding. And after the fourth year of travelling home to see my family and friends from time to time, I came back to New York, where Peggy had been given the New York division of the SSR.
I came back to help her, but Howard had other ideas. He brought all of us together, Peggy and her husband Daniel, Colonel Phillips, the Commandos and myself, forming a new agency from the SSR. The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
I had to hold back my tears as I realized they had made the name to form SHIELD, for Steve. Howard stopped actively searching for him, and Project Rebirth was officially closed, making SHIELD a bittersweet reminder of my husband's sacrifice.
It had been almost 20 years since the war, with another come and gone, and the Vietnam War still raging. As Colonel, I was overseeing agents and soldiers, working on the front lines and in the shadows. I had been going through Project Rebirth one day for nostalgia's sake, when I discovered the samples they had taken from Steve had stuck around Howard's secret storage facility upstate. They had been forgotten in a freezer, locked away under a fake name. Which I was happy about after hearing about Howard and Peggy's run in with Leviathan. So, one crisp fall day, I made the drive up to collect the sample.
They were still viable. Which, is what Howard surmised, was from the constant cellular regeneration Steve's cells went through. I had cried at the thought of doing this without Steve or Bucky, but I wanted a piece of him. If a baby was all I could have of my fellas, it would be more than enough.
Four days after Steve's birthday the next year, Phillip James Rogers was born, and I knew love again. Chester was honored that I named Phil after him. He was the first man to give me a chance, to help me make something more of myself; who saw me as more than I was to the world. I couldn't name him after Steve, because I knew he would feel like he had to live up to Steve's memory. But he had his last name, and his eyes.
Events passed like days to me. Nothing changed, at least not for me. My friends were aging, and Howard was too. My son started looking more like a younger brother. I had Ana watching Phil when I was away on missions, and pretending to be his Aunt when taking him to and from school. He understood that it was a secret and he couldn't tell anyone or he might be taken from me. It was my biggest concern when I was hiding my pregnancy. The government might say that the samples were the property of the US government and take him to try and restart Project Rebirth.
Howard finally got married at 50, becoming a father at 53 to Anthony Edward. I was just tickled pink to see Howard the womanizer, as a husband and father. I watched him neglect his own son though, trying to save the world through SHIELD and Stark Industries. Tony couldn't know his cousin, and it killed me to lie to him. Howard agreed that it was better for Phil to not be in the limelight like Howard and Tony were. But I tried to split my time with them equally, as well as working for SHIELD. It was awful, living a triple life.
Robert and Mary passed, then the Commandos and Colonel Phillips one by one. Then Rebecca and her husband. I was at every funeral, with most people knowing who I was, but as time passed, less and less recognized me. Which was a good thing in espionage, but it sucked in reality. It meant that the generation who I really belonged to was dying off. Soon, I would be the last, and I only had my memories.
I already had been dying inside when Phil joined SHIELD in 1984. He told Peggy everything, and how he wanted to be under a different last name than me, to help keep things from being confusing. Me being Rogers too, and because he wanted to earn his place, not have it handed to him because of our last name.
Phil used the last name Coulson, after a family we had known while he was growing up. He was one of my favorite trainee's, despite being my son. Didn't want handouts from me, and rose through the ranks quickly. To keep up the pretense that he wasn't my son, he used the Captain America fan club as a means to stay close to me, under the guise of wanting to know everything about the war and what Steve was like. I was happy to share my memories with my son, about his father. I even told him about Bucky, and there wasn't judgment, which I always assumed I would get from everyone
Phil met Melinda and there were instant sparks. They married in secret, dropping the ball on Peggy's desk the following Monday that Melinda was pregnant. And July 2nd, two days before what would have been Steve's 70th birthday, they had Daisy Elizabeth Rogers. My world was sweet again, if only for a moment. And at 5 months old, we lost her. She had been kidnapped from her crib in the middle of the night, snatched from our lives. And I held Melinda as she cried in anguish when Peggy told them the trail had gone cold. Peggy would retire later the next year, after Howard and Hank Pym had a falling out from trying to replicate the Pym Particle.
When Howard and Maria died, I was waiting at headquarters for them, ready to ream Howard out for recreating the serum. But instead, I got a call from the police saying they found their bodies. I took Tony to identify them, where I said goodbye to my twin, my older brother, my protector. Phil couldn't attend his own Uncle's funeral, and it killed him.
The coroner's report had been switched and the original coroner was killed, after I had already seen the original cause of deaths. Maria had been strangled and Howard had his skull bashed in. It was a hit and a cover up.
It was then I started to suspect someone had a hidden agenda. Pierce started making changes, wanting to reopen Project Rebirth, but stop looking for Steve. Ever since Zola had been brought into the fold after Project Paperclip, something had seemed fishy to me. He was a little too eager to work with us, even after being so loyal to Schmidt. It was more out of fear, but I suspected that he now craved that power Schmidt wielded. Hydra was growing underneath our nose, but I had no proof.
My whole time at SHIELD was either spent in the field or I was in charge of training the recruits, making me nostalgic for the war. I still used the Absentee Father, but tweaking it every few years, making it more rigorous and demanding. The recruits knew me as Athena, the Goddess of War. After a particularly bloody mission during the Korean war, Howard changed the original nickname Bucky gave me. The other thing was that they knew I was 95 years old. It made for a long explanation to those who didn't know of my involvement during the war.
I was too paranoid about Hydra's possible reemergence to enjoy life. I took some college courses, learned thirteen different languages, and tried to track Hydra covertly while I worked. But they were covering their tracks well. And another decade passed, almost rounding my years without my guys to 65. It was a lonely existence, made easier by Phil, Fury, Natasha and Clint. And then Tony finally wanting to hang around me, when he wasn't jetting around as a superhero in a high tech suit. He suggested a cat, and I rolled my eyes, but rescued a dog instead. Phil thought it was funny too, when he learned the Blue Nose Pit Bull's name was Zeus.
Year 67 and there was something big happening when I got into work this particular day. I was cranky, and ready to kick some recruit ass. Phil had just told me he was resigning from Project TAHITI, and along with it, he was reassigned to our Arizona base that was a joint effort with NASA. I knew Fury wanted the Avengers Initiative in play, but we weren't sure if the GH-325 would affect me the same as it would Tony, Nat or Clint. I heard them yelling about a Code 13, and wondered who the hell had escaped custody. I chose to stay out of it for once, making sure my recruits didn't think the code got them out of training.
"Faster!" I yelled, as they climbed the indoor course. I heard the gym door open behind me as I said, "If you don't complete this in the allotted time, I will have you running it until you puke!"
"Geez, slave driver," I heard a familiar voice say to my right. I looked over and saw one of my recruits from 4 years ago, Brock Rumlow. SHIELD had picked him out of the SEALs before his third tour was up, and I took him under my wing like I had with Nick. At 28 years old, he had more drive than most of my top level recruits, and I trusted him explicitly. He's been a good set of eyes on the inside, giving me intel on the higher ups when I couldn't be there. Fury didn't even know I had a spy inside, and then he got promoted to STRIKE Commander of Team Alpha. My 'eyes' now had direct orders from the World Security council Secretary, Alexander Pierce. He was busy playing a triple agent for me, knowing he could get close to information that was being kept from SHIELD, within the organization.
This was my chance to find out if Hydra was back in play.
Even if I passed up the job as Director from Howard, and then from Peggy when she retired, I still wouldn't want Fury's job. Knowing me, I'd be in charge for the rest of eternity. Cause this whole not aging thing was getting old. Howard and Peggy had still come to me, still included me in the big decisions as I was Omega clearance. And once I rooted out the rot, I was done.
"Not now Rumlow," I sighed, watching as one recruit fell, and someone helped her up. Thankfully a few of these maggots had compassion, which is attributes I looked for in my evaluations.
"Found a book I thought you might like. It is a rotten read, but it's a story you might know. If you're not in the mood for books, find me later to blow off some steam," He said lowly into my ear.
"Can it, and leave before I break my foot off in your ass for interrupting," I narrowed my eyes at him. He nodded, "Colonel."
"Agent Rumlow," I said, wishing he would disappear. We had dead drops for a reason, so this must have been big. And that part about propositioning me? He would never do that.
As he did, I heard him say, "Director."
"Colonel Rogers," Nick called out.
"Now's not a good time Nick," I said over my shoulder, as I watched the stragglers finish, collapsing hard on the mat. I was the only one that got away with that, specifically because I had trained him.
"There is gonna be a time your enemy will have the advantage, where you will be running, climbing, dodging, doing everything you can to survive. This will give you the endurance you need. Soon enough, you'll be running this for fun, to keep your skills up. I have personally trained every single person in SHIELD, and your instructors at your respective academies will have you running another version for your PT," I said as they all looked behind me, and standing up straighter for Nick. Kiss asses.
"We are stopping early for today, but don't think I'm going easy on you. Tomorrow, you better bring more than you brought today. Hydrate, fuel up and get a good night's rest, because this was only part one. But before we end for the day, I will remind you that this course has shaped the best and brightest at SHIELD. It deserves your best, to do its predecessors proud. And I won't tolerate whiny bitches who try to weasel out of it with a medical note. This isn't high school gym, and this isn't boot camp. This is the big leagues, the pinnacle of world security. SHIELD deserves excellence, not quitters. Do you understand me?" I said, and they answered, "Yes, Colonel!"
I smirked at them before glancing behind me, to where I assumed Nick was waiting for me. Instead, I had to do a double take.
A mirage that looked like my Steve, stood beside the Director. The coiffed hair still familiar, wearing an SSR t-shirt and beige pants. He looked like a dream, and I walked toward him, unaware of anything else in the training room.
"Elle," The mirage said, coming towards me, smiling brightly. Seeing his face again, I was confused. Was someone wearing a photostatic veil as a prank? Was this a dream? Or was this real? Because Fury would never interrupt a training session. He knew better. And only a few people knew Steve called me Elle. All but two were dead.
So it had to be real. He was alive. But how? He put the plane in the water.
And as he got closer, a red hot rage came over me. His smile was interrupted by my fist to his jaw, before I Sparta kicked him in the chest, sending him sliding backwards on the floor.
"Dismissed," I snarled to the recruits, before walking past Fury, past where Steve was just getting up. I grabbed my things from the locker room and took the back stairwell towards the garage as fast as my legs would allow.
