Hey guys! I've had this chapter written out for a while but I've been a little wary about posting it. I've debated about whether I should rewrite it or not. But then I decided that I might as well and if you guys don't like this chapter, then I'll deal with that and make the next chapter better. The reason I don't think you guys will like it is because I wrote in a bit of song lyrics that remind me of Twilight, Jacob Black's issues and Nessie. If you want to know the bands I chose to use lyrics from, they are the following bands (and songs):
Thoughtlife, The Ponytail Parades and The Movie Song by Emery (my favorite band of all time, just so you all know!!!) and Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer (that song is such a hopeless romantic song!)
Sorry for this long author's note, but I thought I'd explain some things for you, even though I mention the song titles in the chapter. (oh well!) Hope you guys like this! Read and review!
Music and Tears
(Renesmee)
I stepped into the cottage, my heart racing. Did he seriously just kiss my cheek? I thought to myself. My parents are going to kill him. Or even worse, Rosalie… I cringed at the idea.
I went straight to the living room and hefted my laptop, carrying it to my room. I set it on the bed and then raced to the bathroom to change into my pajamas. I looked at myself in the mirror and rolled my eyes. What was Jake talking about when he called me a beauty? I'm not beautiful. I grimaced at the face in front of me and it mimicked my expression.
Many people had told me how beautiful I was but I never agreed with them. My bronze curls were so annoying to deal with and my dark, chocolate brown eyes were devoid of depth. I didn't have the green eyes that everyone had told me my dad had before he became a vampire, and I longed to have those eyes. Since I was born half-human half-vampire, my skin seemed flawless. My complexion was pale and I could never tan. If only I could be like every other girl in the world and just sit out in the sun and bake for a few hours until I turned to the terrifying shade of a lobster.
Jake is nuts! I decided as I slipped my robe over my pajama's and walked back into my room. I opened the laptop and pressed the power button. I knew it would take a few minutes for the screen to load, so I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed my ipod.
According to my father, the only way to listen to music and appreciate it was to listen to everything under the sun. I knew he was right, but I still had my favorites-many of which he loathed. But I didn't care.
I turned the ipod on and scrolled through the many different artists until I came to the band Jake had introduced me to. I grinned. He didn't know that I actually liked them; he assumed they were too loud for my taste, but of course I was like my dad. I respected every kind of music. However, I knew my dad didn't like this band by the look on his face when I turned them on in the car.
I had to admit, they were really loud, but I didn't think it was unwarranted loudness. They pulled off the screaming and heavy guitar and bass. They balanced it out with a great singer.
I searched through the songs until I found the one Jacob said was subconsciously written with him in mind. I rolled my eyes at the thought. It was called "The Movie Song" and the first verse always made me sad.
I'm the guy that dies at the beginning of the movie; I'm the one who never makes it out of the cave.
Its because, just when I have got everything going for me, baby you come around and take it all away.
Every time I heard those lines, I frowned, thinking of the many times I had heard about my mom's love for Jake. I knew Jake had been hurt when my mom had picked my father over him, but this song confirmed my idea of exactly how badly hurt he had been. I'm just gonna change the song now. I decided and with a click, a new song started out of order since I had it set to shuffle. I groaned as soon as the song began. "Thoughtlife".
And my heart left my chest, so forgive me. As you leave to find that next something new. But I can't for the life of me remember when you changed your words from I love you to saying you don't know.
Just know that you can't take back what you said. Darling I'm not in the forgiving mood. You kept on replying it was all in my head. Well you're just a liar, and I've got the proof.
I knew for a fact that Jake related to this song more than a lot of them, but it still didn't mean that he should feel that way. I closed my eyes as one of his favorite lines began.
I would have offered my life. Taken you home. Made you my wife. But hearing you now. Filling your mouth with a coward's lie, you're just a disguise of the girl of my dreams. But I know she's waiting for me.
So I'll open my eyes to the day that's before me and leave here to find that next something new.
The song ended with that line and was replaced with loud, pulsing chaos. I smiled as the singer sang the lyrics. My favorite song. I thought."The Ponytail Parades".
Three sleepless nights, this isn't how its supposed to be. But you're so good at taking your time to get back to me.
I will wait for you forever, if you would just ask me. I thought that I could change you, but you changed me.
It doesn't feel right holding someone else's hand. Together on phone lines. And living at two opposite ends.
It scares me to think that you could find takers other than me, and better than me….
The song continued but I only half listened as I realized that my laptop had been sitting, ready for me to use. I made sure the internet connection was good and then hopped on my instant messenger. I grinned, seeing that Jake was there waiting for me; he knew I would want to know everything that happened back at the house. A little beep sounded, letting me know he had sent me a message.
Everything is alright, Ness.
I rolled my eyes, knowing he thought I was overreacting. I began typing quickly and then hit enter.
Jake, did Rose flip??
I knew my question sounded stupid but I had to ask. Rosalie had never liked Jake and especially not since he had imprinted on me. It widened the huge gap between them to an almost impossible distance. They would never be able to get along.
Blondie acted just as I imagined.
What kind of answer is that? I thought, my nervousness getting harder to control. I didn't know what to expect when I sent my next message.
What does that mean?
I waited got what seemed minutes. I knew he would be careful what he said to me; protective as always. Sometimes, I wished that he'd just be upfront with me, but I knew he would never tell me something that might upset me. I supposed it was a good thing that he cared so much. I heard the beep and looked warily at the screen.
She was pissed. She hissed at me a bit. I growled. You know how it goes.
Once again, I rolled my eyes. Of course he'd make it seem ordinary. As if a competition of intimidation between a werewolf and vampire is normal. I thought sarcastically as I sent my response.
Seriously Jake, I hate getting my family all worked up…
Within a few seconds, I got a reply.
I'm sorry. I won't do anything to piss Blondie or any of your family off again. Good night, Nessie…
And then, I got the message that said;
Sexy_wolf_Jake09 has logged off.
I frowned as I logged off and then turned my laptop off, setting it on the floor next to my nightstand. I slipped under my covers and rested my head on my down pillow, thinking of Jacob and the kiss that I still felt on my cheek. I blushed at the thought before I realized that I had made a huge mistake.
He'll never kiss me again! I told him I hate upsetting my family and now he'll never kiss me again! Tears began to well up in my eyes and I tried to blink them away, but it was no use. I had to let them fall. How stupid am I?
The tears continued to fall as I grabbed my ipod again and put it on shuffle, wondering what random song might play. As soon as the guitar began, the tears fell like a waterfall from my swollen eyes. When the chorus picked up, I felt sick to my stomach.
Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight. Lead me, out on the moonlit floor. Lift your open hand. Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance silver moon sparkling… So kiss me…
After that one chorus, I took the headphones out of my ears and tossed the ipod across the moon and smiled to myself as it clattered to the floor. Then I turned on my side and closed my eyes, waiting impatiently for sleep to find me…
