Part IX
"The King is dead, long love the Queen" the eighteen year-old Elsa heard the claim from her bedchamber, the words reverberating all across the country, the ache in her heart making it almost impossible to breath, the room became colder and white snow started covering every corner of her room and she rejected to talk to anybody including Jane.
She couldn't assist to her parents' burial and didn't talk to Anna. She realized they only had each other, they were alone. Elsa cried until she fell asleep on the iced floor sitting against her door, suddenly, a knock on the door startled her.
"Elsa? Please, open the door, my dear." Jane said in a soft and gentle voice, reluctantly, she did, the girl was dressed in a simple black dress, her hands covered with dark gloves. They stared each other, not knowing what to do, how to proceed. The new Queen broke into sobs and fell into the brunette's embrace who held her, trying to sooth her and whispering kind words to her.
"They are gone" Elsa said in a low tone once she calmed enough to talk, they were sitting on the edge of the bed, Jane held her closer hushing the blonde.
"I know there's nothing I can say or do to make you feel better, my dear, but you have to be strong." Silence surrounded them.
"I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know how to rule a country." Elsa started to panic again and snow slowly started to appear, Jane shivered.
"Count to five with me, Elsa" they did and little by little the blonde calmed down. "You will do wonderfully, my dear. I know you will be one of the greatest Queens Arendelle has ever had." Warm smiles crossed their lips and the brunette leaned on kissing the young regent's forehead, adoration palpable on their eyes, Elsa cupped Jane's face with a cold hand and gently brushed their lips, her tongue slightly caressing Jane's lips, the kiss deepened and the blonde straddled her. "Elsa" the brunette said with concern "I don't think this is a good idea." Elsa kissed her softly, salty tears pouring down cerulean eyes.
"Jane, please, I need you." The broken voice of the girl she loved pierced her heart. Jane knew it was not right, but she couldn't stop her body from acting, her heart from feeling, she succumbed.
The sky was awake and so were they. Slowly, inch by inch, they removed their gloves. Eyes leered, kisses and caresses longed, their hands started roaming through virgin lands; clothed mountains, valleys and caves being teased by bare flesh. Garments were removed between the young lovers with the naivety of the first time, each girl amazed finding skin so similar, yet so different. Snowflake halves collided.
"Is it wrong if I tell you that I've dreamed of doing this to you, my love?" Jane asked in a hushed tone as her digits played lazily with the blonde's soft mounds.
"Not at all, my dear." She answered with faltering voice, delighted when the brunette arched her back and moaned feeling Elsa's short nails running between her shoulder blades "I've dreamed of doing this as well."
Through empirical research, Jane discovered hoy to elicit the desired reactions, where a caress made Elsa shiver, where a kiss made her moan, when a flick of the tongue made her beg for more. The blonde on the other hand, adapted the knowledge from the romance novels she smuggled from the Castle's library, the volumes were probably the secret inheritance from an old an unknown relative; she couldn't feel happier with every sound, curse and beg that emanated from Jane's throat.
Lips brushed, skin met, hands teased. Their breath accelerated as their hearts beat as one. "Jane, I need you" the blonde murmured under Jane, taking her hand, guiding the girl to her nether body, white teeth tugging the brunette's ear. Hesitantly, the girl pressed her digits at the blonde's opening, covering them with her essence; a deep and foreign growl emerged from Elsa's throat.
"Tell me if I'm hurting you." Jane said in a shy tone, staring sweetly into her lover's eyes.
"You could never hurt me." She answered with a smile. Slowly, she entered her and slick warmth welcomed the young naturalist; the girl beneath her hissed as she grasped her lover's back, Jane stood still to give the girl a chance to become familiar with the feeling. After some thrusts, a second digit followed. Not wanting to be selfish on their first encounter, Elsa made her way between Jane's thighs. "May I" she simply asked.
"I thought you'd never ask, my dear." An endearing smile crossed their lips. They moved together in perfect unison to the ancient choreography they just discovered; the silence of the night in the bedchamber was broken by their voices in crescendo. Hips rolled desperate to find release, they kissed with blind eyes. For the first time in forever, Elsa felt the heat on her own body…and she loved it.
"I am not going to last longer, Jane." The blonde said in a whimper.
"Wait for me, Elsa" she desperately begged, moving faster upon her lover.
Then, it happened.
Light exploded.
A bolt of electricity shook their bodies.
A cry and a scream pierced the silence.
Hands grasped desperate to make the sensation last.
Pleasure numbed their senses.
They kissed and Jane curled next to Elsa while pecking softly the blonde's shoulders, a content sigh making her soul feel lighter.
Elsa stood still, thinking of their actions. Yes, she felt loved by Jane, her heart was happy and her soul finally found a sort of comfort during the dreadful day she had lived, but now she was the Queen, in three more years, she would come to age and coronation would take place, which meant more responsibilities, an image to preserve, a Kingdom to rule…a heir to breed; the last one was not possible with a woman by her side, no matter how happy she made her or how strong her feelings were towards her. She had to let her go, to set her free, to let her live her life and find someone who could love her at least a little part of how Elsa loved her. Jane had to find someone who was not afraid to share their lives forever, the blonde regent had to break their relationship in order to make her lover happy in the long run.
"Love shook my heart
Like the wind on the mountain
Troubling the oak-trees." Jane whispered in a loving voice, taking Elsa out of her deep thoughts.
"Who's that?" Elsa asked.
"Sappho, I believe I read for you some of her poems."
"Ah, yes. I do remember." Jane held her closer, sharing the warmth of their bodies.
"I love you, Elsa." The blonde froze. Sensing a sort of discomfort and not getting an answer back, the girl worried. "Are you alright, my love?" As an answer, Elsa stood up from bed and walked to the window, her naked body showered in pale moonlight. Jane marvelled with the beauty of the girl in front of her. Oblivious to the thoughts of the brunette behind her, Elsa's eyes covered with tears.
"This is so wrong" she whispered.
"I beg your pardon?" the girl sat startled, waiting for Elsa to repeat her words. Snowflakes started to fall from nowhere. "Elsa, what did you just say?" She stood up from bed too and started to dress.
"This was a mistake, Jane" she said in a higher tone "It was wrong." Her heart broke watching how the turquoise orbs she loved so deeply cover with tears.
"What?" Stoic, Elsa took her robe from the chair next to the window and covered herself.
"This was a terrible mistake" she said. It is not, it will never be.
"Elsa, you're lying, we…we love each other, we always have."
"No" Yes. "I never really loved you, Jane, I was just a girl, I was confused and needed attention." I have always loved you, I always will.
"Please, please, Elsa. Let's just…sit down and talk about this, please."
"There is no reason to do it, Jane."
"¡Look at me! Look me in the eye and tell me you do not have feelings for me, that you despise my presence." Silence, Elsa took a moment to compose herself and act her part, no matter how painful it was.
"I do not have feelings for you" I do, I love you. "It has always been a mistake to have you here." It has not, you showed me how to cope with myself.
"You are lying." Jane said once more, tears falling from her eyes like the rain on the storms she feared the most.
"I am not" I am. Elsa turned around to hide her face and her feelings from Jane, for the girl always read her like an open book, she took a deep breath and tears fell from her eyes as well. "I don't love you, Jane." I do. "You have to go." Please stay. "I want to be alone." I do not want to be alone."
"Elsa, nobody wants to be alone."
"You are wrong, I do." You are right, I do not. "Jane, please go and never come back." Jane, please stay and never leave me. "I do not wish to see you ever again." I am afraid.
Jane sobbed, she could hear her, feel her anger.
"You were always right, my dear" Jane spat the usually soft endearing term "you are a bloody monster." She put on her dark gloves and turned around, leaving without a second glance to check on Elsa, it hurt the blonde more than she ever expected; there was no yelling, no physical harm, just the girl she loved being the lady she loved even with her heart full of despair and anger. The room was covered in snow and the window in thick crystal like ice. A broken blonde girl she knew so well looked at her from the reflection.
"The Moon is down,
The Pleiades. Midnight,
The hours flow on,
I lie, alone." The blonde recited the verses from Sappho and words stung her heart. She took her time until she was sure Jane was far from her bedchamber, only then she broke down and cried.
