It's August! That means…so many new books! And an old one…that I didn't get when I had the chance. I kind of forgot about it. Oh well. And August means one month closer to Baten Kaitos: Origins, and then some more videogames! The dry summer months are over! Not that I minded them. Woo, Neji Alliance! Gooooo! I can make little people dance on my computer screen! It's so weird! And…there's Hanatarou! I love you, Hanatarou!
11:30 PM, Friday, Somewhere in the Soul Society
"Gimme those!" Hitsugaya was trying to wrestle his fan mail away from Momo, who had gone into crazed-killer-Momo mode. And frankly, it was kind of scary.
"NooooooOOOOoooooooooOOOOOO!" shrieked Momo. "OoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!"
Gin was busy playing Dance Dance Revolution, while Yachiru cheered him on and Kenpachi grumbled about killing himself in various ways.
Meanwhile, Aizen was drawing a new evil plan, having something to do with several trapdoors, some random eating utensils, a mallet, the kitchen's butcher knife, and a guy with a chainsaw. He giggled while he drew.
"You know, he's getting rather disturbing…" Gin paused in his dancing and stared through his perpetually-closed eyes. Then he shrugged, and resumed 'breaking-it-down'.
11:31 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Hallway
For a few precious seconds, Byakuya completely forgot about killing. He forgot that the worlds 'kill', 'death', and 'blood' even existed.
But only for a few seconds. This is Byakuya we're talking about, after all.
Oh crud, though Ichigo. I really didn't need this guy showing up.
Oh crud, thought Rukia. It's my brother.
Oh crud! Ikkaku whined in his thoughts. It's Captain Kuchiki!
Oh crud, thought Byakuya. What do I do now? They're all looking at me!
So Byakuya decided to use the words in his vocabulary and get into action. He began by marching up to Ichigo, who had recently finished kissing Rukia.
"I know it was your doing, Kurosaki!" Byakuya roared, stomping his foot in a childish fashion.
"What was my doing, you-" Ichigo began, a clearly puzzled, (albeit angry), look on his face.
"The prank calls!" Byakuya shrieked, picking up a table and flinging it at Ichigo. "I know that was your doing!"
"You're going to hit me!" Rukia screamed, trying to make Ichigo let go of her, but not succeeding.
Ikkaku stood in the corner, looking back and forth between the two opposing sides. "Y-Yumi…I mean, Harry! I need help!"
"Oh, for beauty's sake," said 'Harry', coming down the stairs, now ski-mask-less. "What's the problem? I was looking in the mirror upstairs, and you just had to…"
Yes, it was none other than the 'beautiful' Yumichiki. And he stopped dead when he saw the chaos erupting downstairs.
No one saw the tiny shadow lurking in the doorway.
"Don't play dumb with me!" Byakuya yelled, pointing. "You've been driving me crazy with your prank calls ALL DAY, and to top it all off, when I come in here with intent to kill, I find you kissing my sister!"
"First of all, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Ichigo expertly dodged a picture frame that was hurtling toward him. "And second of all, what do you care?"
"Excuse me, I'm still here!" Rukia grouched, tired of being swung around like a rag doll and talked about like she wasn't there.
"Shut up!" Byakuya and Ichigo yelled in unison. Then they glared at each other, and continued yelling back and forth.
Yumichiki looked around again, then turned to Ikkaku, who was cowering in the corner to avoid being killed. "What did you do?"
11:35 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Front Hall
Meanwhile, the tiny shadow in the doorway had begun to move. A faint flash of pink could be seen among all that black. Of course, no one was looking. They were all to busy arguing and throwing around heavy pieces of furniture.
So, the tiny shadow moved as close to Byakuya as possibly, slipped something into his pocket, and ran off, giggling.
Which, of course, no one heard.
Just then, Ichigo had a brilliant idea. Since his 'kissing-Rukia-to-cause-a-diversion-to-get-away-from-Ikkaku' hadn't worked out, he decided to try another tactic. He turned his head slightly, still keeping one eye on the 'enemy'.
Rukia was busy beating on him with her fists.
"Hey, quit it!" Ichigo hissed. "Listen, when I give the signal, jump onto my back. I have a-"
"Oh, I know, you have an 'idea'!" Rukia hissed back. "Well, Mr. I-Have-An-Idea. Remember the last idea you just happened to have? That didn't work out so well!" Rukia's voice began to get louder and louder. "I ended up being stuck in a closet with you! And now you tell me to go along with another one of you 'ideas'? I don't think so, Ichi-"
With her voice getting louder and more annoying by the second, Ichigo was afraid that Byakuya would hear and then his last resort to escape would be ruined. So Ichigo did another very desperate thing. He bent his head down and kissed Rukia. Again.
Rukia made a muffled choking noise. Ichigo had succeeded in making her shut up. So, in one fluid action, he hitched Rukia up onto his back and ran out the door, leaving Byakuya shouting at no-one and Ikkaku and Yumichiki cowering in the corner.
Then, outside his house, Ichigo pulled out his cell phone, and dialed 911. "Hello, I'd like to report a break-in." Ichigo proceeded to tell the emergency dispatcher his address, and tell them that three or more people had broken into his house. The dispatcher, after telling him someone would be on their way, hung up.
Ichigo grinned. His plan had worked like a charm. If he was correct about the situation, Byakuya, Yumichiki, and Ikkaku would probably all be in the house when the police arrived.
11:40 PM, Friday, The Local Jail
Byakuya, Yumichiki, and Ikkaku had indeed been in the house when the police arrived and, despite protests and various threats, they were carted to jail.
At that very moment, Keigo was staring warily at the three people he was now sharing a cell with. "Um…h-hey. What're you guys in for?"
Byakuya punched the wall, leaving a sizeable dent. "That stupid Kurosaki called the police on us!"
Keigo's mouth dropped open in surprise. "No way! The same thing happened to me! Well, Kurosaki didn't exactly call the police on me, but someone else did."
Yumichiki gasped. "No way! He's such a horrible person! To put a beautiful someone like me in a horrible place like this…"
Yumichiki and Keigo proceeded to cry and tell each other about all the mean things Ichigo had done to them.
Byakuya was steaming in the corner, when something vibrated in his pocket. He jumped, then, even more angry than he was before, he ripped the offensive item out of his pocket. It was…a cell phone?
He flipped the phone open. "Hello?"
"Hey hey, do you have Prince Albert in a can?" (A/N: Yes, I know this one has been used at the beginning. That's the point.)
Byakuya threw the phone on the ground. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
11:59 PM, Friday, Ichigo's Living Room
After that long, hard day in H…I mean, after that long, hard day, Ichigo was exhausted. And he had decided he was going to stay as far away from that closet as possible, at least until he figured out how to put a doorknob on the inside of it. He was never going to be locked in that hole again, if he could help it. And so he'd told Rukia to stay away from it as well. Knowing her, if she was stuck in a closet, she'd find some way to get him stuck in there, too.
But at the current moment in time, at one minute to midnight, no one was stuck in the closet. In fact, the closet had been boarded up.
"I really don't see why you had to go and board it up," said Rukia, sitting on the floor against the couch.
"Oh, don't you?" Ichigo sat next to her, flipping through the channels. "I mean, just because two people got stuck in that closet for several hours, that doesn't mean that anyone should board it up, now does it?"
"Nope." Rukia flipped through the TV guide. "It was your fault we got stuck in there, after all."
Ichigo snapped his head around. "What?! Oh, and none of this was your fault."
"Nope."
"It was your idea to invite them all over!"
"That's because you spend far too much time by yourself. I did it for your own good." Rukia nodded, agreeing with herself.
"Why you little-"
Rukia put a finger over Ichigo's mouth. "Ah ah ah, you don't want to call me that. Remember what happened last time?"
FLASHBACK
Ichigo was at the grocery store, trying to get a soda out of a soda machine. But when he opened his wallet, he was horrified to find that nothing was in it. His first thought was that he'd been robbed. But the second thought that popped into his head had him marching home.
When he'd arrived home, Ichigo had scared both his sisters by busting right through the front door. He ran up the stairs. Ichigo took a second to make sure his door was shut tight, then threw open the closet.
Rukia looked up at him. "What?"
"You took my money, didn't you?" Ichigo hissed, careful not to yell, lest anyone should come up.
"You mean this? Paper money?" Rukia held up several pieces of paper. "I'm a good pickpocket, aren't I? I was waiting to see when you'd notice."
"You little-"
Rukia sat up. "Did you just call me 'little'?"
"That's right, little Rukia."
Rukia grabbed jumped out of the closet and grabbed the lamp on Ichigo's desk. "Wanna say that again?"
END FLASHBACK
Rukia laughed at Ichigo's expression. She laughed harder, and harder, and harder.
"It's not funny!" Ichigo grouched.
"It is very funny!" Rukia held her stomach and laughed more. She fell against Ichigo, still laughing.
As he felt her shaking against him, Ichigo did a very strange thing. He laughed. In fact, he began laughing as hard as Rukia. He laughed so hard, that he began choking, and Rukia had run into the kitchen, grabbed a pot, and smacked him on the back several times.
"You didn't have to use a pot!" Ichigo coughed.
Rukia tossed the pot behind her. "Yes I did."
"No, you didn't!"
"Yes, I did!"
"No, you…" Ichigo decided that it was useless, and gave up. He started actually watching the movie on the TV, which was Creature from the Black Lagoon.
"This is really weird, Ichigo." Rukia stared intently at the screen, where a terribly fake black-and-white creature swam around in the water. "Is this entertaining?"
Ichigo shrugged. "A long time ago, I guess."
Rukia continued to fire off questions, one's using the word "why" and "how come". They were becoming increasingly tedious. But then Rukia decided to throw Ichigo for a loop, when the next question that came out of her mouth was, "Why the heck did you kiss me?"
Ichigo's face went red. "Diversion tactic," he growled.
"So, I'm not good enough to kiss, is that it?"
Leave it to Rukia to turn everything into an argument. "Rukia, you are so irritating!" Ichigo flung his head back so that it smacked on the hard part of the couch. He sat there a minute, to allow the bump on his head to develop, and then sat up straight again. He almost smacked heads with Rukia, who had moved to a crouch right in front of him. She was so close, he broke out in a cold sweat.
"Well, Ichigo, guess what?" Rukia leaned closer and closer until their noses were touching. And then she did something completely, totally, and originally Rukia. "NEITHER ARE YOU!" she yelled in his face, twitched her nose, and hopped off.
Ichigo was almost unconscious. He wondered if his eardrums were busted. Hearing Rukia snickering in the kitchen, he was relieved. The clocked chimed twelve times. That horribly terrible Friday was finally over.
And so it ends. But! If you review, I shall make a new one! I'm not quite sure if I will on my own, but if you tell me you want a sequel, I'll give you a sequel…a horrible, frightening, disturbing sequel of mayhem and terror. Have a nice day! And thank you so much for sticking with it to the end! I know this chapter took a while…it kind of got lost. But then I found it, and so all is well. And so, this is Rain, saying, dear readers, "Goodbye! For now!"
