I'm doing a little dance about all the new Selection news. Yay, KC! Yay, us! Responses to reviews and bracket below. Devil Wears Westwood—Here's me making good on my promise. :) As always, thanks for reading! XOXO, SJ
The phone on my desk rings, waking me from a deep unintentional sleep. I sit up in my desk chair and answer it, trying to pretend I hadn't just been roused, "Hello?"
"Ah, so you did survive the plane ride back to Illea. I was unsure as I hadn't heard from you," Auntie Nic's voice came loud and clear across the continents. I glance at my watch. It's 5:00 AM. She's just finished her late lunch.
"How did you know I'd be at my desk?"
"And your friend Ethan? He survived also?" Her question is obviously rhetorical, and toned sharp enough I could lose an appendage.
"I believe so. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" I work to keep the annoyance out of my voice. Nic has always been close to our family, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to talk about my transgressions.
"Calix, dear. I just want to make sure that you're well. I did not like how we parted. I regret I was so hard on you. Although, not returning my call is a bad habit to get in to. When Auntie Nic leaves a message, you should return it." Auntie Nic's voice has a special lilt to it, like she could simultaneously laugh or tear your eyes out, and either option would be fine with her.
I sigh, and stretch, making sure she can hear it on her end, "Yes, I know. Now we're even? Auntie Nic, I fell asleep at my desk and I have meetings all afternoon. Plus, I haven't made a family dinner since I returned home. Please, just tell me what you need to tell me."
"I have a question for you, Cal. And you must promise to tell me the absolute truth." My frustration is building, but I promise and hear, "Good boy. Now, do you love Fae?"
"Auntie Nic, that is not fair. You know the answer to that question and you know that what I say doesn't matter. I'm honoring Fae's wishes."
"Well, if I may say," she begins.
"No," I cut her off. "No. I really don't want to hear anything in regards to Fae right now. It's enough to know she doesn't want to be with me. The reasons why don't matter anymore. I'm done." I switch gears, "Now, if you'll share how you manage to get through all your day-to-day meetings, I'd appreciate it."
Auntie Nic's throaty laugh takes over the connection, "Oh, my dear, the weight of that crown gets heavy, does is not? The one time I had sole rule of a country, I could not wait to give it back! Perhaps I'm not the best person to talk to about this one? Because, as you know, I'm still a princess." I can almost hear her wink as she refers to her prior work in France and her current standing in Italy. It finally occurs to me that she likes that she has not had her coronation yet. That she is still princess by her own design.
"Right," I finally laugh. "Auntie Nic, I really need to go."
"Yes, of course. I will be calling again soon. Maybe your old auntie has more advice where that came from Calix, dear."
The click comes before I can say anything else, and I am stuck holding the receiver and shaking my head. It occurs to me that if Auntie Nic and Mom get a notion to take over the world, they could do it with very little resistance.
Ethan's hook comes predictably, and I dodge, fake, and connect with his jaw. I don't pull. He's not expecting a full-power hit, and he doesn't brace for it. He hits the mat with a thud. A part of me that I'm not proud of is quite satisfied with itself.
"Shit, Cal," Ethan exhales as he grabs my offered hand and scrambles to his feet. "What was that for?"
I turn and take a swig of my water, using the edge of my t-shirt to wipe my face. "Sorry." My tone and body language show that I am not.
"Look, Cal. I get it. You're pissed at the world. You're in a situation you're not happy about."
"I don't want to talk about it."
He growls through clenched teeth, "I don't really care whether you want to talk about it. We're going to talk about it, because the next time you sucker punch me will be your last." He moves inches away and commands, "Sit down."
Before I know what I'm doing, I obey by dropping to the mat where I am standing. He sits beside me; his look prompts me to speak. I mumble, "That night in Italy, I found her. The next morning, after, she said she didn't love me. She told me to go. I went."
"And now you go around, angry at the world. Shutting everyone out. Punching your best friend and confidant in a masochistic attempt to get even with her?"
"I guess. I don't know. Ethan, I did what you told me. I asked her in person. She told me." I threw myself backward on the mat and covered my face with an arm. "It's just not what I wanted to hear."
Ethan sighs, "The answer wasn't what I expected either, Cal. But she has her reasons."
"And the reasons will never be good enough. So, what do I do now?"
He's silent for a moment, and then he asks, "Cal, did you ever wonder what happened to Beth?"
"I don't know who you're talking about," I answer him from under my arm with my eyes still closed. If I keep my eyes closed, I can pretend this conversation isn't really happening.
"Of course," Ethan snorts and then continues. "Beth and I were engaged right before you decided you wanted to go to university."
I remember a tall brunette who trained with us, but I didn't pay too much attention to her. Why would I?
"And?"
"And? Really, Cal. And, I had a responsibility to Illea and you. Those commitments always outweigh personal wants. We don't always get what we want Cal, because the country and its people's needs are bigger than our own. Our choice is how we react to that fact."
I sat up on my elbows. "She left you." He shrugs it off, and grabs his own towel from around his neck. "Because of me." He just grabs his water, emptying the bottle. I think I abstractly understood loss. But now that I had lived outside of the palace, I understand what Ethan had given up to serve. I can't say if I was in his position that I would have done the same. How many others have done just that? "I'm sorry, Ethan." And I was, but the apology still felt empty. Not only do I need to sacrifice my relationship with Fae, but it is necessary for me to relinquish any type of mourning except in the privacy of my own room. I've been an ass. "Where is she now?"
"Who? Beth? I have no idea."
"Really, you're going to lecture me about Fae and you haven't looked for Beth at all? You want me to channel my energies into something productive? I think I have my new project," I grin.
Ethan rolls his eyes, "Don't you have a Selection to get ready for?"
"Sure, but I suddenly have all this time I need to occupy that I used to spend sulking." We're both laughing now.
"Okay, Cousin. Enough. Don't you have a meeting to go to?"
"I think the real question is when don't I have a meeting?"
I cross my arms and lean back in my chair. Dad's conference table is crowded with Dad, Mom, Commander Leger, Barrett, Griffin, Stephen, Gavril, and Asa Sutton, Head of Parliament and chair of the provincial election committee. Before his appointment, Sutton was Mayor of Clermont. Aunt Marlee sits at Dad's desk, taking notes, because every other seat is occupied.
The group is debating the pros and cons of different mayoral candidates, and my quiet suggestions are being brushed to the side.
"Abbott of Whites is a strong candidate with a history of supporting the current monarchy. He would be a good choice," Sutton comments. And, I decide to make myself heard.
"Why are we backing candidates again?"
"Because the people want to know who we would support if we were voting." The Head of Parliament seems like he enjoys talking to me as a small child.
I don't back down. "Yes, but why have an election if we tell the people who to vote for?"
"We need to make sure that the leaders are strong," Dad offers, quietly.
"Then why not just appoint the mayors as we've always done? What's the point of an election if we already know who we want to win? We are already picking the candidates."
Mom looks thoughtfully at me; Baer and Griffin cock their heads. Gavril and Commander Leger sit, composed and removed from the discussion.
"Yes, but," Stephen starts, unable to help himself.
"But, what?" I challenge him.
"According to polls, eighty percent of the people want-"
I don't let him finish. "Eighty percent of the people want to find out what we want and then give it to us! We're not creating choice, we're creating the illusion of choice." I'm irritated at everyone, not just Stephen. But, I focus my energy on the fidgety, over-eager man. "Eighty percent of the people in this room find your statistics annoying. Ten percent of the people in this room wish you would have somewhere else to be. Five percent would prefer silence from you." I wait a beat, "And the other five percent don't know you exist." A table of shocked faces stare back at me. Even Mom looks taken aback. I realize I went a step too far, so I stand muttering, "I need some air" as I exit the room.
luv2read4reading: Hmmm…I think I could have guessed! :)
CashmereHerondale: Aww. Fae can be difficult to get along with, I'll give you that… And, Day…there's something about him, isn't there? :)
Theoneforever: So glad you liked it! Aspen was never a bad guy—just a little hard-headed. I'm looking forward to that moment, too. Probably happen very close to the end. And, your preference for Day is noted! Here's your update! :)
The Devil Wears Westwood: Aspen is such a good guy—and I am thinking we might find out what happens when Calix finds out about them. I think Cal is beginning to look forward to his Selection…
Strike OOO: Well, Calix isn't exactly a boy scout, but he is a sweetie. Think Maxon, but experience with women and America's headstrong streak… Pretty dangerous-I think so. :) You have to read MATCHED and LEGEND…I guess you don't have to, but you would probably enjoy them! :)
dolly123: Thanks for reading! What do you think about the call between Auntie Nic and Cal? I think if she could pull him through the phone and whack him one, she would. :)
AcademicGirl: Weird to log in, isn't it! I've been in that habit, too. :) I always appreciate it when people appreciate my efforts… so, does that mean I'm too interested in the comments. Maybe. :) And, I'm far from perfect, but thanks for saying so. Sometimes I think my writing falls absolutely flat, or I can't get it just the way I want… Poor misguided Fae. She makes you wonder, doesn't she?! Interesting think about Legend, I actually read the series out of order because I was tired of waiting for the books from my library. So, I read it Book 2, Book 3 and then Book 1. I knew the series was going to be good when I could totally understand Book 2 without reading Book 1. Although, I was a little disappointed when I finally read Book 1. I do like Day, but Akiva… *swoon.* Sometime between studying and UPDATING your stories… you should read DAUGHTER of SMOKE and BONE. ;)
Fantasybookgirl: I feel the same way about Aspen. He was never bad, just misguided. :) I miss Fae, too. Maybe she'll show up later? Then again, maybe not. And, no worries about not reading MATCHED or LEGEND. But, they are good. :)
Meeraratani: Oh, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. How 'bout this one? And, noted, Day is a fav! :)
Selection Fan: Thanks so much—so happy you are still reading!
coralsea25: Saw your name pop up and thought—so happy you're back! Awww, thanks! Glad you like it! :)
prnamber3909: Sorry…don't be lost. Fae and Calix were so good together, but are they really meant to be? It's hard to tell… they are so stubborn! Hang with me and let me know what you think! :)
Bracket Winner: Day (Although, really, if you haven't read Daughter of Smoke & Bone… Such a good series! I *heart* Akiva. Though, Day is really awesome, too… :)
So, next up: Warner (Shatter Me) VS Fade (Razorland Series)… Oh, pretty evenly matched for me!
