We haven't had a disclaimer in a while, so let us remind you in tandem that we do not own anything. Not even a Lotus Staff or Takhayun's Pincers.
(Lurbe seems to think it's funny posting my chapters while I'm on vacation. Unfortunately, I do not share that sentiment, so let me get this out of the way before he gets any ideas)
The Futile Pursuits of Bored Henchmen
"Honestly, Zho, do you think there's any purpose whatsoever in standing here lined up with no greater purpose in mind than waiting for people to come hire us out?"
"Stop fidgeting; you're not allowed to move, remember? You'd better hope no one saw that."
"You didn't answer me. Plus, it's not as if the powers that be can kick me out; I don't even know why I'm playing by these nonsensical rules."
A moody silence prevailed, and Zho prepared to reenter the trancelike state on which she relied to keep her sanity through these hours of inaction. Hopefully it would be another smooth afternoon of standing around doing nothing but looking organized and ready – until Pai or Klaos came along; then they'd actually get to doing something productive – but for now, she was content to simply wait it out like she always did…
"This is ridiculous," Kai Ying complained, and she growled internally as his voice pierced her peaceful stupor once again. "I feel like a prostitute on a street corner."
"You're so difficult," Zho snapped, "why can't you be more like Sister Tai? Look at her – still as a statue, like a good henchwoman."
"She just yawned."
"Gods damn you, Ying. What did I tell you? Yawning and shuffling one's feet is perfectly all right, but only if it's a repeatable motion. The adventurers like that sort of thing. It makes them think we enjoy being their slaves."
"I don't follow you."
"Look, if Tai were to do it again, she would have to repeat the motion congruously, without any discrepancies. The point is to look as robotic as possible so they don't feel bad about using us without paying us – damn it! You moved!"
"You just said it was all right."
"Yes, but only – gods above, I don't even know why I try… look, even Panaku's stopped moving around, and he's the most impatient person I know."
"His eyes are closed. I think he's asleep."
"On his feet? That's ridiculous."
"Let's find out. Panaku!"
Zho put two fingers to the bridge of her nose and groaned as Kai Ying cupped his hands around his mouth and began shouting at the other end of the line. She didn't need the sidelong glance from Professor Gai on her other side to know that they were making a scene, and let him know that he should mind his own business by giving him a curly-lipped sneer. He turned away quickly, and as she saw him very discreetly rolling his eyes heavenward and making a face, she nearly stepped out of the line to show him exactly why it was not wise to mock her.
However, the continuous yells came: "Panaku! Panaku!" and so mortified was Zho at even having a part in this embarrassing spectacle that she stood her ground and tried to look as small and expressionless as possible. Where on Melandru's green earth did the geomancer get all that energy?
Talon Silverwing, who stood uncomfortably on Panaku's other side, glanced around as the entire group tried its collective best to appear as if it did not know Kai Ying personally, and eventually extended a wing tentatively to give the assassin a ginger prod. When Panaku merely grunted and shifted his weight to one hip with a few lethargic and grumpy motions, giving no indications as to opening his eyes, Talon looked back and shrugged helplessly.
"By the gods, you're right," Zho conceded in amazement, "how is he managing that?"
As the ranger tried her best to get a better look at the phenomenon without moving her feet, she felt increasing waves of grandiose world-weariness emanating from her compatriot, and decided finally that if she stopped acknowledging him, he would stop being so squirmy.
"There's a pretty girl," Kai Ying said, "perhaps if I wave and bat my eyelashes, she'll take me home."
"Enough with the prostitute comments," Zho growled.
The 'pretty' one walked up to them – typical Mary Sue of a girl she was: purple hair streaked with silver or gold or some other inane color, much too little armor for the unkind streets of Cantha, unnecessarily perky and rosy-cheeked… Zho hoped she wouldn't last a minute.
To the ranger's mild surprise, it was the eternally-bored Kai Ying who eventually told the little tramp they were waiting for someone, and thus left himself, Zho, Panaku, and Gai to rot away on the assembly line while the others marched merrily away.
However, they were not doomed to stand around all night as well, for shortly after Panaku woke up to commend Kai Ying sarcastically on his expert handling of the hiring situation – to which he received a sneer – Zho noticed with relief that two very welcome figures were approaching.
"There's a prettier girl," the geomancer said with a smile as his student drew near, with an inappropriately friendly tone in Zho's opinion, much to Pai's blushing delight – and somewhat to Klaos's displeasure, she saw, as he completely ignored Panaku when he tried to engage his fellow assassin in conversation – and following this tetchy snag, they managed to sort out who would go in what order, who would lead and who would caster-hunt and who would just stay in the back and try not to get killed, and finally, where they would actually be going in the end.
To everyone's surprise, Zho was the first one to eagerly suggest a location, for although she did appreciate and dearly cherish her companions, there was simply no way in hell she was going to stand around in their presence for more than four hours each day.
