Episode 9

Mystical sighed a bit, looking a tad frustrated.

"What's wrong?" White Owl asked her, slightly concerned. "You don't look too pleased..."

"It's just that...ugh...you know how there's reviewers for the show and stuff sometimes?" Mystical spoke up. "I specifically told them in the warning before episode ONE that they were NOT allowed to SUBMIT TRUTHS OR DARES in their REVIEWS! And somebody actually did!" The Authoress facepalmed before continuing. "Don't get me wrong, whoever submitted it, but seriously, I DID warn you that I would delete it if I saw one. I can't make this into a Truth or Dare fic because of the Fanfiction User Guidelines, so please don't do it again! It would save me from some frustration, and again, I did warn you."

"Didn't the reviewer have some decent suggestions, though?" Owl asked.

"Yeah, I know, but I can't really have Alexis eat any of Jizabel's organ collection; Jizabel would attempt to gouge out my eyes for that, and getting Jizabel to get a haircut and to cosplay Riff is like trying to write a Mikalia and Cain romance fic; you just can't accomplish it sucessfully...at ALL." Mystical responded. "Although, I could do the second one...but that will have to wait for a future episode, I already have something planned for Maryweather this episode." The Authoress ended, before turning to the audience. "Sorry about all the fuss and stuff, but now, let us welcome in our people-to-be-tortured; the Coffinmaker, Maryweather, Leroy, and Cassandra!"

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Leroy screamed as he struggled with the ropes tying him to his chair. The Coffinmaker had been tied up with chains rather than ropes (he kept destroying the ropes with those metallic claws of his, so Mystical had to get security to restrain him and tie him up with metal chains instead). "I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH HIM!" When Leroy shouted him, he gave a glare towards Cassandra.

"Just...great..." Cassandra muttered sarcastically. "This is just great. I'm stuck with him..." He glared back at Leroy when he said the word 'him.'

"First to be tortured is..." Mystical paused for dramatic effect before speaking. "Coffinmaker!"

"Crap." Coffinmaker muttered before he was pushed into the Box.


"What's going to happen to me now? Get burned to death like in volume 3?" Coffinmaker asked, looking obviously annoyed.

"Nah," Mystical replied, walking over to him with two glass bottles in her hand. "I just wanted to see if you can balance these on the back of your hands. Of course, you have to put both hands on the table first," She spoke, pointing to a nearby table. "And then I put the the bottles here on the back of your hands, and we see if you can balance them. No long, painful death involved."

Coffinmaker sighed before sitting down at the table. Mystical smiled, and carefully put one bottle each on the back of both his hands. It took a few moments for the bottles to be completely balanced, but the Coffinmaker managed it.

"There. I proved it. What now?" He asked.

Mystical just simply started walking away. "Just keep balancing them!" She spoke. "And by the way, I took those from Oscar's secret alcohol stash that he keeps in his room; you might not want to break them. See ya!" With that, Mystical dissapeared.

"What!?" The Coffinmaker shouted, completely furious. "Well, this is just great..." He muttered.

"MYSTICAL! WHERE'S MY BEER! I KNOW YOU TOOK IT-" Oscar shouted as he ran into the room-

Just in time to see the beer bottles crash to the ground. The Coffinmaker looked at the broken bottles, before looking at Oscar.

"Oh crap." Coffinmaker muttered, just before the two started a fist fight.


"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" The crowd shouted as the two wrestled onscreen. Eventually Mystical sent security guards into the Box to drag the two out.

"That was good." Mystical spoke, grinning. "Now, next up we have Maryweather!"

"Fooey!" Maryweather shouted as she was dragged into the Box.


Mystical put a plate with a vanilla cake on it in front of Maryweather. "Go on," Mystical encouraged her. "Eat."

Maryweather looked at the Authoress suspiciously. "You didn't put anything in it, did you?" She asked skeptically.

"Me? Whoa, no!" Mystical responded. "I wouldn't be that stupid to stick love potion into a cake, especially for a person your age. That would be bad."

"I'm not eating it."

Mystical frowned. "Fine then. Get eaten by the wolves instead." She snapped her fingers, and three snarling wolves appeared, ready to bite the heck out of the ten-year-old girl.

"OKAY, I'LL EAT IT! GET THOSE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!" Maryweather exclaimed. As Mystical made the wolves dissapear, she immediately took a bite out of the cake. Then she started screaming and running around the room like mad.

"HOT, HOT, HOT!" Maryweather shouted. "HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT-"

SPLOOOSH! A blast of water soaked her entirely out of nowhere, and Maryweather was now sopping wet.


Maryweather marched out of the Box, frustrated as Mystical smiled.

"Red-hot chili sauce in vanilla cake? Check." Mystical looked at a paper in her hand. "Oh, now we have Leroy, who has-" She stared at the empty chair where Leroy was once sitting in. "Escaped somehow..." She trailed off awkwardly. "Oh well. I guess he can be tortured next episode, so I'll skip to Cassandra. No, I'm not going to throw him into the Box, first off."

Cassandra sighed of relief at that statement.

"Instead, I'm going to show you a videotape of him writing in his super-secret journal! He says everything that he writes in his journal aloud, so-"

"NOOO!" Cassandra screamed, mortified as a video began to play onscreen.


"Dear journal." Cassandra started as he wrote in his journal. "Today has been quite stressful, and I need to do something more civilized than thinking of poking this pen into a midgetty eye. A certain midgetty eye of a certain midget."

He sat down on a nearby chair as he continued to write. "Never mind about Cassian. I noticed that the Cardmaster recently obtained some bald spots. Apparently, Cain decided to replace his conditioner with hair removal cream, which was highly effective." Cassandra chuckled a bit. "Cain was doing a favour; the Cardmaster was getting bald anyway."

He looked around suspiciously. "I have a feeling someone is watching me, but I can't figure out who, and that's not good. I should keep this entry short." He stood up, and paced about the room. Out of nowhere, a long piece of wood slid out near the floor, just as Cassandra was about to take another step. He tripped, and let out a scream as he fell.

"WHAT THE #$$# WAS THAT!?" Cassandra shouted in frustration, throwing aside the journal. He then caught sight of the camera. "YOU...MYSTICAL!" He screamed, lunging at it, and the screen went blank.


"I didn't know Alexis was getting bald!" Oscar exclaimed.

"Since when did you start balding?" Moon asked Alexis in the audience.

"Shut up." Alexis muttered in response.

Cassandra glared at Mystical as the Authoress just gave an innocent smile. "You will pay for that." Cassandra growled. "I swear it."

"Anyway, that's all for today, so I hope to see you guys next episode!" Mystical spoke, before the lights onstage went out.


Author note: And thus, ends episode 9.

TO ALL READERS: I have informed you guys in the very first chapter, that you're not supposed to submit truths or dares in the reviews, otherwise I will delete them! Please, please don't submit stuff like that, I have my reasons. See the Authors note in chp. 1 for details. Thanks for reading!