Chapter 9
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone from the WWE.
The best people ever: Sonib89, PSNC100502, Lauren, Animal-Viper-Cena Fan, Cena's baby doll, Felonxoxo, and xXParieceXx. Thanks for your encouraging reviews! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I have to say, the beginning is my favorite part :)
Mistakes can encourage growth and lead one closer to their rightful destination. John Cena was fully aware of this and used spending time with Roxanne as his form of navigation. He knew it was a mistake to continue to do so, but the question was, what exactly was the mistake? Building this deep friendship behind his wife's back? Or allowing himself to hold onto months of degradation for the sake of sufficing a marriage certificate and familiarity? He was still trying to figure it out and perhaps, things were beginning to look a little clearer.
John had been watching TV in his hotel room with Roxanne, for the past half-hour, and just as the commercials went on, he let his voice out. "Huh."
Roxanne turned her head at an angle to look at him. "What?"
"You know what I just realized?" he asked rhetorically. He didn't wait for her answer. "Everyone is against us. Liz, to begin with, didn't want me to help that night you got drunk. Miz told me to back off. You told me to back off. Randy's telling me to be careful. I mean, damn, is there anyone out there who's okay with our friendship?"
"Of course there is," she assured.
John looked over at her with a curious face, thinking she had the answer to everything. "And who would that be?"
"You," she replied. "Isn't that who matters?"
"And you," he added with a smile. Her answer more than satisfied him. Without hesitation, he reached forward and grabbed her hand, interlacing it with his own. He used his thumb to massage hers and allowed this action to overtake with silence. The simply touch of her skin sent every divine emotion to him. Some he'd only felt with her, the rest simply amplified by her, like no other. This was exactly what he meant by feeling invincible. No matter how wrong anyone said this was, his feelings were enough justification. They were wrong in the right way. If only everyone knew how it felt, they'd understand. But then again, he'd rather be selfish and keep all her worth to himself.
Roxanne seemed to be in deep thought, staring at their locked hands. John decided against interrupting, so he simply continued to stare at her, studying her features further more. He confirmed his previous conclusion that she grew more beautiful every time he saw her. She really did.
"What?" she cut through the silence once noticing his prolonged stare.
He smiled. "What are you thinking about? Honestly."
"How guilty I feel for liking this," she answered, squeezing his hand tighter. She chuckled after seeing John tense up. He looked nervous. "You asked for honesty."
"I know…I know, Rox. I guess I just didn't expect your answer. Especially after yesterday and how easily you brushed off my confession."
"Brushing that off doesn't mean my feelings don't exist. They do, John, trust me. I just know how to handle it."
"Do you?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"Are you sure about that?" John challenged. He pulled his face closer towards her, making the space between them gradually decrease, inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter. He paused just when their lips were about to touch. He had done this for the sake of a simple tease, a simple joke, a simple test but it didn't end up that way. He didn't realize how tantalizing the thought of kissing her actually was until he got this close, this personal. He looked at her before allowing his eyes to close, barely seeing her do the same. He then placed a hand on her jaw, closing the little space left between them. He was actually going to kiss her and she was going to kiss him back. They were almost there.
Suddenly, her phone went off, sending the both of them into a fit of disappointment. They had gotten so caught up in the last couple seconds which made the next ones that came seemed dreadful. Their temperature dropped completely, their bodies numb, and their hearts even colder.
"H-hello?" Roxanne answered quickly, not bothering to check the caller ID. "Oh hey, Eve. What's up?"
John watched as she shifted the phone from her right ear to her left ear. She moved closer towards the edge of the bed and further away from him.
"Uh-huh…yeah…really…wow, he would tell you that…alright, well thanks for letting me know. It really doesn't matter to me though… yeah…of course not…okay, bye."
She hung up the phone and looked at it for a good second before she reported to John about the call. "That was Eve. She said Miz was looking for me and all this crap."
"Huh," John said. It wasn't that he was uninterested in what Roxanne had to say, but he couldn't adjust to the mere fact that they were so close kissing but were now talking about Miz That just didn't seem like a fair trade. However, maybe it was. Maybe that call did save them. Maybe that kiss wasn't supposed to happen, no matter how much the both of them wanted it to.
"John I um-" Roxanne began to say. She stopped as soon as her eyes met his. Her heart began to race, her breathing began to get heavy. She watched as his fingers made their way to the strands of her hair that fell out of place. He smoothed them over and slipped them behind her ear carefully.
"John I-" she tried again but now he stopped her.
"No, Rox, I should be the one talking. I'm the one who owes you an apology. I was only trying to tease you, I swear."
The look on her face didn't get any better from his statement. I was only trying to tease you.
"I didn't mean for us to kiss - almost kiss - but I-I cant, we can't. It wouldn't be fair to my wife… or you."
My wife. That rung Roxanne's ears loud and clear. She was trying to cope with the unfamiliarity of him mentioning her. This was definitely a first.
"I'm sorry for almost kissing you."
She could only nod, feeling a knot in her throat.
"Are you okay?" John asked her.
She nodded again.
"Rox…" he called out. His eyes pierced right through hers, burning into all her thoughts and incorporating them into his own. He knew he hurt her. Not because he almost kissed her. Not because he didn't. And definitely not because he brought up his wife. But because, for the first time, he actually gave her a thought that he was trying to be more than a friend. He knew that hurt. It elicited hope; the same hope that hung her on suspense hooks.
'You have a wife. That's more important than anything you'll ever say to me.'
'Brushing that off doesn't mean my feelings don't exist. They do, John, trust me. I just know how to handle it.'
Her voice echoed in his head as a mechanism of assurance that even after this, after all they've been through, they were still going to be okay.
"Rox," he repeated.
"John."
"Yeah?"
"For the record, I wasn't going to kiss you back. Hell, I wasn't even going to let you get any closer. I told you, I know how to handle my emotions. Whatever they may be."
Nodding his head, John laughed. Yup, that was definitely Roxanne talking. She never failed to incorporate humor into their conversations and this was another one of her fair shares. However, John wasn't sure if this one doubled as a cop out. Maybe she tried shifting focus from the truth because she lied about being able to handle it. Or maybe, she really wasn't going to kiss him back.
Either way, John welcomed the idea of them still being on good ends. He knew that was the only sufficient that'd get him through the next few days.
"I feel like we haven't been talking as much, what's going on?"
"I'm sorry, Liz. I've been real busy over here, I haven't had much time."
"No time for your wife?"
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry isn't gonna cut it, John. Come home soon. Can you tomorrow?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I'll fly out as soon as I get a big enough break. Just stay busy with what you're doing over there, please. For me and for you."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Bye."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
John hung up then tossed the phone into his duffle bag. He was alone in his locker room for another house show. Roxanne had left fifteen minutes ago insisting to buy them both food, since they'd been starving all day. After spending so much time with just each other, eating became forgotten. Each other's company seemed to be enough for survival.
A couple minutes passed when a knock was made at the door. Thinking it was Roxanne, John opened the door but was met by a surprise. It wasn't Roxanne, it was Miz.
"Where is she?" he barged into the room, looking around as he did.
John shook his head and asked, "find what you're looking for?"
Unsatisfied, Miz made a face to showcase it. "I'm still watching you John Cena."
"It's good to know I have an audience even backstage."
"You won't be thinking it's so good once I catch you." Miz stormed out of the room and made his way down the hallway. He kept walking until his senses stopped him. Up ahead, he saw Roxanne making her way towards him. Right as they caught each other's eyes, she disappeared into a corner.
"Bitch," Miz muttered, running after her. He turned the way she did when he reached the end of the hall but saw no sight of her. He continued running but after having no luck, he retreated his steps and went back to John's locker room. He knocked but no one answered.
"I know she's in there. Open the fucking door!"
He banged on it a few more times before Randy walked by and asked, "Miz, what are you doing?"
"John wont open the damn door."
"How could he? He just left to go to his match."
"Ugh!" Miz groaned, slamming both of his hands against the door.
"Now, I'm sure you have better things to do," Randy said before walking away.
Miz groaned some more, before making his way back to his own locker room.
Yes John, I'll still be on the road by the time you get back, I promise. Don't worry too much, alright? Just relax, please. You're too cute to get pre-mature wrinkles.
John read over the text Roxanne had just sent him. He was home and although he wasn't too happy about it, he still had to pass the time. He'd been on his phone, just texting, while he waited for his wife to finish getting ready.
"Liz!" he called out, right as he finished sending his reply. "We're gonna be late."
"I'm coming, I'm coming."
John turned his head and watched as his wife made her way down the stairs.
"Why'd you make early reservations anyway?"
He shrugged. "I thought you'd be excited to eat dinner with me, I guess."
"Yeah but you know I don't get off work that early."
"Well I'm sorry."
"Right. Let's go."
Sighing, John slipped his phone into his pocket then got out with his wife. The drive was awfully quiet, but that was nothing new. John made it a habit to check his phone every stoplight but each time had the same outcome. No new messages.
"I'm starving," Liz mentioned, her eyes dancing around the menu. They'd been seated for a good five minutes but neither have picked their dish. While everything looked good to her, nothing appealed to him. He just didn't have an appetite.
She added, "the food better come fast."
John couldn't help but roll his eyes. Earlier she'd bashed him for making early reservations and now she was demanding quick service? She was full of contradictions and by now he should've been used to it. But he wasn't, definitely not.
"Do you know what you wanna order yet?" she asked him.
"Nah," he answered, feeling a vibration in his pocket. He grabbed the phone and read his new text.
"You know, maybe you'd actually find something you want if you put the damn phone down."
Trust me, this phone already has what I want. He thought subliminally. Soon after, he began to process exactly how long this night was going to be.
Later that night, after hours of back and forth text messages, John finally received his last one.
John, please don't freak out, but I just had an encounter with Miz. It wasn't harmful or anything, I'm still in one piece. He did grab my wrist though and I have a mark to remember it for a few days. But seriously, don't worry. I'm fine. I'm with a bunch of the roster and they're keeping an eye out for me. I'll text you tomorrow though. I know it's already late over there, since you are three hours ahead. Get some sleep please? And be patient with your wife. Might as well make the best of it. Alright? Goodnight, I miss you.
John sighed as he read the text one more time. He didn't know what irked him more - hearing about Miz touching Roxanne or hearing Roxanne say she'll talk to him another time. Both felt equally as destructive to John and being the only one awake, on a bed with his wife, didn't help the already sour situation. It was great, just great.
He got up and made his to the hallway just outside their bedroom. He turned the light on and kept walking until a picture on the wall stopped him. It was of Liz and him, holding each other closely with beaming smiles. It was taken nearly two years ago, on their wedding day, but neither of them looked the same anymore. They looked like a completely different people now.
"What happened to us, Liz?" he whispered. He touched the frame before realizing their anniversary was just a few days away. He couldn't believe it had slipped his mind and how it failed to be brought up in their recent conversations. Had their marriage really gotten this dry and undetected?
Knowing what he had to do, John made his way into their office to plan.
"Liz! Nice to have you back so soon," Randy greeted.
"I hope you're not being sarcastic."
"Oh, no, not me." Randy shook his head and smiled. "How was the flight?"
"It was alright, John slept through the whole thing."
"Really? That doesn't sound like him. He never sleeps."
"Yeah well, I get it when I can," John cut in.
"So, are you guys going to the club with everyone tonight?" Randy asked.
"Maybe," Eve replied. "I'm only on the road for a couple days so we'll see. John said he has a surprise for me here."
"A surprise here?" Randy raised his eyebrows. "The good kind of surprise, right?"
"Yeah, would there be a bad surprise?" Liz questioned.
John cleared his throat and shot a look at Randy. He wasn't sure what the viper was trying to do but he figured it'd be best if everyone just stopped talking all together. Right when silence fell, a group of people passed by and John immediately picked out Roxanne from the crowd. She hadn't noticed them yet, but right when she did, John felt his heart drop. He watched as her eyes traveled to him, to Liz, then back to him. He hadn't mentioned he was back and with baggage. Hopefully she would be just as understanding like always.
"It's-it's a good surprise. Hopefully good enough," John spoke up, forcing his attention back to the conversation. "But listen, me and my wife have some unpacking to do. We'll just see you and everyone later tonight."
Author's Note: Everyone in the same place? Uh-oh. I have a question though. Do you guys prefer lengthy chapters or ones that are short, sweet, and to the point? I may not have completely control over this, strictly because I already know what stuff I want to happen, but I'll try more for what you guys prefer. So let me know that and what you thought of this chapter, yeah? Thanks!
January 21, 2011
