Authors Note: Okay, so some of you have pointed out that this version of Lily is a bit snarkier than you're used too, and I completely understand that. Lily is a fantastic character, but I think at fifteen she still has a little maturing to do before she grows into the kind, selfless empathetic character were used too. Basically, hang in there. She will face some things soon in the story that will transform her into the kind of Lily you're used too seeing. Thanks and please review if your enjoying or if you're absolutely hating. Welcomed either way.

9

The Loneliest Season of All

The weeks following Gryffindor's close loss to Slytherin were some of the tensest I had ever seen at Hogwarts. All of Gryffindor, most of Hufflepuff and several Ravenclaws were still so furious over Slytherins dirty tricks on Hestia during the match, that no one much felt like celebrating Slytherins win, even if Regulus had caught the snitch honestly.

The Gryffindor team in particular was in a terrible mood for weeks. Landon McKinnon had spent three hours in the prefect's bathroom following the game and hadn't come back to the common room until bed time. Only Mary had managed to get anything out of him when he reappeared. He was polite to her, but when straight to the dormitory at the first opportunity. Marlene told us to except him to be in a mood for a while.

Fabian and Eris spent the entire afternoon complaining about the Slytherins for everyone to hear. A conversation that all of the house joined in joyfully, myself included. We spent hours going over the techniques and tactics the other teams had used and when we bored of that we trashed the Slytherin players we hated. The Marauders were also missing for most of the afternoon, and returned a few hours later with Hestia's broom, mended perfectly. Something that made Hestia look as close to tears as I had ever seen her.

"That's pretty kind of them, huh?" Marlene said when she watched James hand her the new broom.

I nodded, "Very nice. There dedicated to their teammates."

Lily who was watching the entire scene with a mask of no emotion didn't move her eyes when she spoke. She was staring too intently at James hugging Hestia.

"It is nice actually," she said blankly, dotting the I's on her potions essay carefully, "broom work is very difficult to do. It was nice of them to do that for her."

"I'm sorry?" Marlene stared at Lily in absolute disbelief, her mouth hanging open. "Did I just hear Lily Evans, complimenting James Potter and the rest of the Marauders on their kindness?"

A little color flushed across Lily's cheeks, and she nervously tucked a strand of her vibrant hair behind her ear. "I mean, I'm not a shrew," Lily said nervously, avoiding our eyes, "I can recognize when they do something kind for someone. That was kind."

I beamed at my best friend and the progress she was making. "Wow, Lils. I'm impressed."

"I never thought I'd see the day," Marlene said shaking her head, still floored.

Lily didn't say anything and just shrugged, before disappearing off to the library to finish the potions essay with Remus. Usually nothing could clear Lily out of a room faster than discussing James' good qualities. But today it seemed different. She had recognized something nice they had done. It was shocking, but a little uplifting. I wondered if this meant Lily would lighten up around them. She never favored James or his lackies, but it seemed like this year she had been particularly rough on them. It wasn't like her.

Most of us wanted to forget about the loss to Slytherin, but one person who didn't seem to want to forget at all was Hestia herself.

She had neglected to let Madam Pompfrey heal her nose with a spell, so after it was properly set, it bruised purple and yellow for weeks. Hestia boasted that it was a trophy, proof that no "evil-serpent-crested gits" could get the better of her. Emmeline didn't seem to have the same view. She was so furious with the tricks that her housemates had played on her best friend, she sat at the Gryffindor table beside her every meal for the last few weeks. Something that delighted the Gryffindor boys and made Marlene start wearing shorter skirts.

The Ravenclaw V. Hufflepuff match was only two weeks later, and Ravenclaw annihilated Hufflepuff 350- 70. As most of the Gryffindors supported Hufflepuff, it was another devastating loss.

I did my best to focus on classes as November disappeared. Apart from one of my tutoring sessions with Sirius, where we did nothing but analyze the match, in excruciating detail, I tried to stay focused on homework. The closer the holiday's got, the more I thought about the anniversary of my parent's death. December 11th was a dark cloud I could hardly avoid anymore. The day was always terrible, and seemed to follow me everywhere. The only decent distraction I had now that Quidditch had come and gone, was my classes. It was O.W.L year so it wasn't hard to completely bury myself in work. There was always an essay to be written or books to be read and studied. Lily was thrilled with my new determination and spent as many hours with me as I wanted in the library. Sometimes Remus would join us, and stay when Lily ditched me to sit with Severus. I liked when Remus joined. He was quiet and thoughtful, with a streak of politeness I never seemed to get when Sirius was around.

I had myself so absorbed in work lately, Sirius would complain during every one of our tutoring sessions throwing around words like 'boring' and threatening to drag me to the Forbidden Forest again for a bit of excitement.

I warned him if he did, I'd find the centaurs myself and make them aim their arrows below the waist this time. That shut him up for about twenty minutes, before he started bugging me again.

But that didn't matter much, the teachers seemed to share my mindset about how to spend our time, keeping all of us constantly busy. Professor McGonagall and Flitwick were both teaching us two spells a class, and Professor Marchbanks hadn't given us a practical since before Halloween. Even Slughorn was giving us potions that required our full attention all period. Half the year was already fed up, and the exams were still months away.

"When do you think all of this work is going to stop?" Mary asked during the first week of December as she, Lily and I made our way to our morning Transfiguration class. Marlene was off in a broom closest with Baxter Thornbottle, and so they three of us had had breakfast alone.

"I'd guess when the exams are over," I said nibbling on a piece of toast I had smuggled from the Great Hall. I had another wrapped in a napkin, hidden in my robe pocket for Marlene. I knew she was cranky when she didn't eat, and doubted even the memory of Baxter Thorn bottle's excellent snogging would keep her getting testy when her stomach started growling during Transfiguration.

"That isn't for like another six months though. I hope they lighten up for the Holidays," Mary said quickly, as we climbed the stairs two at a time. "I would hate to spend Christmas studying the uses of boom slang skin."

Lily shuddered. "Me too. That stuff smells foul. You know I still haven't gotten it out my sweater since Severus knocked it over on me?"

"Seems like an okay trade considering you won a bottle of Veritaserum from Slughorn," I reminded her. "Is it difficult being the best potions master in the school?" I teased.

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, grinning as she walked. "That was a fun day. You and Mary's potion very nearly beat us, remember? I wish I still had it though. I used it on James when I wanted to know where he hid my favorite pair of socks. I still don't know how he got a hold of those. Not that I want to know….." She shuddered knowing that they were probably hidden under James pillow. What he wanted with a pair of Lily's old socks we would never know. I grinned thinking of James stroking them alone in his dormitory. The visual was too funny.

"Did he ever tell you where they were?" I asked as we made our way through the corridor.

Lily shook her head, looking annoyed at the memory. "No. Of course he told Sirius to hide them, thinking ahead of me. I hate it when he's clever, it makes it much harder to hate him. Anyway, I never did get them back. Such a waste of veritaserum. Sev was so angry when he found out what I did with it."

I was sure he did. Knowing Severus, he probably would want to use it for something much darker or sinister. Like locking the Marauders in a dungeon and forcing it down each of their throats. I bit my tongue to keep from sharing that information with my friend.

Half the class was already waiting in the transfiguration classroom when we entered, and all of them looked like they had been laughing about something for the last ten minutes, with wide smiles plastered across their faces. The Marauders were sitting in their usual tables looking more entertained than usual. Only Professor McGonagall looked a little cross. She stood in front of her desk with her tiny arms crossed in frustration, a stern look wedged in between her protruding cheekbones.

Kyla Davies and Imogen Warbeck were both giggling from their seat. I felt my dislike for Imogen rear its head for a second, before I could squash it. I didn't know why I was annoyed with her, or why the feeling was so strong. I was probably going crazy or something. Imogen was perfectly nice. All I really knew about her was that her aunt was a famous singer, and she had gone to Hogsmeade with Sirius. Why should either of those two things bother me? I shook it off.

Xenophillius was staring at our chairs with a dreamy expression, which wasn't odd for him. He always did strange things, but Barty Crouch Jr, seemed to be doing it too, and he was one of the stickler Ravenclaws.

"What did we miss?" I mused, looking around at our classmates with a mixture of concern and excitement. Something was definitely going on here, and I hated to be out of the loop.

"Dunno, but their smiles are making me a tad nervous," Lily said nodding in the direction of the Marauders. James and Sirius were watching the three of us with lazy grins. Remus shot us a sympathetic grin from his table with Peter. Peter was so red-faced, he had both hands covering his mouth to keep from laughing.

"Whatever it is, it can't be good," Mary warned as we placed our books down at our usual tables and sat down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The moment I had sat down something had let out a loud, high-pitched scream through the classroom, making me jump out of the chair. The screaming continued for a moment, muffled slightly by the laughter of everyone else in the room.

What the hell? I thought as I jumped to my feet in just enough time to see the chairs Lily and I were sitting on had formed a face, with a wide mouth.

The chairs had screamed. How clever. I rolled my eyes. Chairs that screamed when you sat in them? This had the Marauders written all over them. I turned to their table to see both James and Sirius doubled over in laughter. Peter was snorting. Remus just stared forward at McGonagall, looking slightly guilty. The chairs stopped screaming when we stayed standing.

"Screaming chairs," I said shaking my head with disbelief.

Lily sighed. "This is so immature," she huffed. Then she cast a glow on the chairs that looked almost like admiration, "Damn clever, though," she added.
"While I agree with that assessment, Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall said coolly, "Would you and Ms. Meadowes please take your seats? I have heard this moronic screaming all morning and would prefer to get it all out of the way if you don't mind. They will stop screaming after a moment."

Mary had stayed seated in hers and the screaming had died down after a few seconds. I placed my hands over my ears and took my seat, ignoring the guttural scream my chair made when I did. Lily followed suit, and I noticed her chair had an even higher scream than mine did.

"This has them written all over it," Lily said looking directly at James and Sirius.

"Clever and immature?" I asked her with a smile. "Of course, it does."

Professor McGonagall looked interested at Lily's words, like they were the most profound thing she had heard all morning. "While I tend to agree, a full inquiry will be placed after we have figured out the counter spell to the charm that was placed on the chairs."

Her gaze fell on the Marauders, who looked very confident the counter charm would take a while to figure out.

"The guilty parties will be punished," she told them sternly. "A week's worth of detention for the class distraction and general annoyance this has called."

I had to hide the smile that was threatening to creep back onto my face. Professor McGonagall wasn't even trying to disguise the fact that she thought the Marauders were involved. Usually she at least tried to be impartial.

James smiled back at Professor McGonagall. "How do you know it was us, Professor? That seems like a lofty assumption to make."

"And you know what they say about assuming," Sirius added quickly, his face lighting up, "There's quite a clever little limerick about it. I could tell it to you some time. I think it involves you, me and a donkey."

My mouth fell open in disbelief. Could Sirius really be that cheeky? I already knew the answer to that. It was a wonder he hadn't been expelled yet.

"Could he be more ballsy?" Mary asked leaning forward to Lily and I, She shook her dark her in absolute disbelief, but entertained nonetheless.

I shook my head. "Doubt it. Someday she's going to snap and turn him into a dung beetle, and Merlin I hope I'm around when it happens."

Professor McGonagall very nearly rolled her eyes at Sirius. "In five years of educating you, I've learned whenever something happens, it's always you four."

"Usually," Sirius corrected her. "Not, always."

James looked delighted. "He does have a point there, Professor," he said running his hand through his messy hair.

Remus dropped his head on his arms like he wanted to be anywhere other than where he was. If he was involved, he clearly had been coerced into it. Peter was still giggling.

The doors to the Transfiguration classroom opened again and Marlene trotted in, yanking her robes back onto her shoulders. She was a little frazzled but was glowing. She had clearly had a good time.

"You're late, Ms. McKinnon," Professor McGonagall chided as she headed for her chair beside Mary.

Marlene blushed a little. "Sorry Professor McGonagall," she mused quickly, throwing her a classic Marlene smile, "but I was saving a bunch of puppies and kittens."

She couldn't have known, but on the foothills of James and Sirius' cheek, Professor McGonagall was not in the mood for Marlene's cleverness.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Ms. McKinnon," Professor McGonagall snapped, turning back on her heels towards her desk.

"For being late?" Marlene demanded. She wasn't being rude but it was clear she had no idea what was going on.

"No, Ms. McKinnon, For your sass. If you'd like me to take another ten points for your tardiness, I would have no problem obliging. If not, take your seat."

She was clearly taking out her frustration with the Marauders on Marlene. Marlene flashed me an arched eyebrow and I shook my head. I'd tell her all about it when we were out of here. No sense in further enraging McGonagall.

Marlene did everything but stomp her way to her chair, dropping her bag beside and it and taking a seat. Everyone in the vicinity covered their ears and Marlene stared at them bewildered.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Marlene stayed seated while her chair screamed, but she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "So that's what I missed," she said quietly, looking relieved that McGonagall's mood clearly had nothing to do with her. From across the room, James winked at her.

"Now that everyone has been seated," Professor McGonagall started sternly, "today we will be working on transfiguring items into birds, and then we will work on vanishing them."

She flicked her wand lazily and a basket of small objects began floating down the aisles between our desks, as we picked out tiny statues and sewing kits out to practice on. Professor McGonagall turned back to the board and began writing out notes for us to copy down. I leaned back and handed the wrapped piece of toast to Marlene.

"Bless your soul, Meadowes," Marlene moaned as she took it from me gratefully and shoved a heaping bite into her mouth. "I don't deserve you."

"No problem. How is Baxter Thornbottle?" I asked cheekily as she chewed. She fluttered her eyelashes suggestively at me.

"Almost as delicious as this toast you brought me."

Mary watched Marlene with complete admiration. "I want to be you when I grow up, you know that?" she told her. Marlene wrapped an arm around her and smiled.

We spent most of the period struggling to make the objects in front of us try to turn into birds. Lily actually managed to make her tiny jewelry box turn into a small hummingbird, right after Barty Crouch Jr's parrot appeared and earned back the ten points Marlene had lost that morning, and when James turned both his and Sirius' pocket watches into a pair of beautiful white doves, we earned another ten points.

I tried the spell twice before the goblet in front of me turned into a small brown bird. Pleased, I stroked his tiny wings and tried the vanishing spell. The bird only blinked back at me very much still present.

"Well," I said softly watching him peck at my textbook. "I can't get rid of this little guy."

Lily pat the little bird in front of me. "He's too cute to vanish," she cooed softly. "Any chance you think McGonagall will let us keep him in the dormitory as a pet?"

I shook my head. "Doubt it, and anyway Rylie's cat would probably feast on it if we left him in there."

Lily frowned as I vanished the bird with one swish of my wand.

"This too much," Mary said after she made her bird vanish. "turning things into birds and vanishing them should be two different lessons. People really weren't kidding about all the work in fifth year."

"Tell me about it, when Baxter and I were walking back from the broom closets, I saw Della Templeton trying to diffuse a full-on breakdown Pandora Rabnott was having over a failed Potions exam," Marlene said, leaning forward to join the conversation.

"Although that might just be because she made up all the ingredients on the exam," Mary reminded her. "Do you not remember all the things she claims to have seen on Holidays?"

"Very true," Marlene pointed out, stroking the exotic colored parrot now happily resting on her shoulder. "though I sort of want to believe her every time she tells me that all of Goblin Gang's hit songs were written by muggles. How funny would that be?"

"That sounds like a day-time movie waiting to happen," Lily chuckled shaking her head.

Marlene stared back at her in utter confusion. "What in Godric's name is a moo-vy?"

I covered my mouth to muffle the snort that had escaped my mouth. I had learned all about movies, and muggle televisions from my dad, and after several summers in the orphanage, I was a pro. I had forgotten that Marlene still had no idea about some of these things.

"Do you just not pay attention at all in Muggle Studies?" Mary asked her, shaking her head.

"To be fair," Marlene started, "Muggles have a lot of inventions okay? It's hard to keep it all straight. I have enough trouble remembering the magical things I need to know without worrying about what the proper use of a toaster is."

Mary blinked at her, "And? Do you know what the proper use of a toaster is?"

"From the look your giving me I'm going to assume its not for warming your wand, then?"

Lily, Mary and I laughed so hard, Professor McGonagall's eyes shot over to us immediately and we did our best to quiet ourselves down before she lectured us.

Lily shook her head at Marlene comfortingly. "Not it's not, Marls. It's for cooking bread. Muggles don't have wands remember?"

"Oh yeah," Marlene said tossing her legs up on the chair beside her. "I keep forgetting that. Must be hell on earth for you three in the summer, huh? I would be whipping my wand out every five minutes forgetting."

"Dumbledore gave me a good, firm talk on the importance of keeping my secret before he dropped me off at my new home," I told her, "so I'm careful about leaving everything locked away in my trunk.

Mary nodded. "Me too. You know how my parents are about magic. They hate when I talk about it very much, so I mainly keep it my trunk, as to not annoy them." Her eyes darkened a little before she moved on.

Ever since Mary, and later her sister Julie, had arrived at Hogwarts, her parents had been very wary of magic. Both of them were school teachers in Ireland, and didn't have a single other magical family member. When Dumbledore had shown up to explain Hogwarts to them, they had very nearly not let Mary go. Ever since, Mary and Julie avoided talking about school as much as possible.

"They'll lighten up eventually, Mary," I told her, "You just have to give it time. Once they see that you can have a career and full life in the wizarding world they'll be okay. It's got to be strange adjusting is all."

"I keep telling myself that, but I don't know. I've already been here for five years and they still shudder every time I bring up anything that even has to do with magic. I don't get it, having a witch in the family is something they should be proud of."

"Of course it is," Lily told her softly.

"Are they really that bad?" Marlene asked. "They seemed okay at Diagon Alley last summer. Maybe a little nervous, but not miserable."

Mary shrugged. "Well yeah, when they have to, they lighten up, but that was only because Julie and I had to get supplies for school. Usually they do everything they can to avoid the subject of Hogwarts," she scowled, "You should see the look on their faces when Julie brings up Death Eaters and Him." A violent shiver ran down her spine and she wrapped her arms comfortingly around herself.

"You told them about You- Know-Who? Lily asked of her, her eyes wide.

As a fellow muggleborns, Lily knew how dangerous it was to talk about blood purity in front of her parents. Muggle parents didn't know very much about the wizarding world, and as such didn't have as much confidence in wizard's like Dumbledore to keep the peace.

"Are you mad?" Marlene asked shaking her head. "I don't even talk about Him in front of my parents."

"I didn't," Mary said quickly, "You think I'm that barmy? Tom at the Leaky Cauldron did, and then they saw a copy of the prophet Julie left out talking about muggleborns attacks. I had to cancel our subscription after that, before they overreact."

"They must have been worried," I said softly. "It doesn't excuse it," I added quickly seeing Mary's raised eyebrow, "but imagine how scary He must sound to people who don't understand the scope of what he can do. He's scary even to Purebloods."

Mary sighed. "Yeah, I suppose that's true. Still I wish they wouldn't be so ridiculous about it. It would be nice to be able to leave out a textbook or a sneakoscope without getting a lecture about how I'm derailing my future with a magical education."

Lily reached out to pull Mary into a quick hug. "I completely understand where you're coming from, Mare. Mum and Dad are supportive, but Petunia is a nightmare when I talk about school or magic. And you have Julie, that's good, isn't it? If I had a sickle for every time Tuney had called me a freak, I'd be able to buy the Gryffindor team new brooms."

"But Petunia's clearly just jealous, Lily," I told her. "You're not a freak." Lily gave me a soft smile.

"Yeah," Mary dropped her voice so it was barely below a whisper. "Didn't you say she wrote Dumbledore asking if she could come too? Doesn't sound like she thinks it's a freak school, after all."

Marlene actually snorted, as she vanished her parrot. "Ha! Imagine Petunia being here. Even if she wasn't a muggle, she'd be more out of place here then Xeno Lovegood."

"Like living in a dorm with Moaning Myrtle," Mary agreed.

Lily sighed. "That was a lifetime ago. If anything, I think not being able to go made her hate this place and me even more." She said this sadly, as if she actually missed who Petunia had been before. On the rare occasions, I had interacted with Petunia, I found her to be cold, cruel and nosy, but if Lily knew another side of her, I hoped she'd be able to find it again.

"We could always leave a couple of spell books on her bookshelf next summer," I suggested hopefully, "Imagine the reaction she'll have when she finds them? It'll be better than that time James had a month-long detention."

Lily cracked a smile. "Sounds like a plan," she turned to Marlene and Mary. "Want in on this?"

"Bothering Petunia?" Marlene asked giddily, "Of course. I've wanted revenge ever since she called me a mouthy, silver-spoon fed, leggy-slag."

Mary was weighing her hand back and forth in her hand. "To be fair Marlene, you are a spoon-fed, leggy, slag."

"Doesn't mean it need to hear it from her."

I patted Marlene on the shoulder, "At least she thinks your leggy."

Marlene laughed. "There's the silver lining. Excellent observation, Doe."

The period was almost over and Professor McGonagall had rounded around the classroom, gathering up everyone's un-transformed trinkets and vanishing whichever birds had been left from the students who hadn't mastered the spell yet, something Lily had looked very wistful about. If it were up to her, she would have turned our dormitory into a bird sanctuary.

When McGonagall finished, she stood at the front of the room and took out a large piece of parchment from her robes pockets. I didn't even have to read it to know what that piece of parchment was. I was wondering when it would come out. I had been anxiously awaiting it's arrival.

"Now before you all scurry out of here," she said carefully, "I'll need anyone who plans to stay at the Castle for the holidays to sign their name on this parchment." She passed it down the row to the Ravenclaws, most of whom just passed it back to their seat mates. Each of them content to go home to their families over the holidays. It was pretty even split, about a 1/3 of the Ravenclaws scribbled their names onto the paper, as did Caradoc Dearborn, and Rylie Fawcett. When the paper stopped over in front of me, I scribbled my name down as quickly as I could in neat, even writing. I loved staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. For me, it was a salvation. Holidays were hard enough without my parents. I couldn't bear to think about how miserable I would be if I had to spend them at the orphanage.

I could feel the eyes of my best friends on me as they watched me sign my name on the parchment, and I knew the annual pity party was about to commence. Every time we talked about holiday plans, the three of them bent over backwards to make sure I was never left alone. The year after my parents died, Lily had brought me home to her house for Christmas. Her family had been warm and welcoming, but I couldn't help but feel like I had been imposing on their family time. After that I always stayed at the castle, and one of my friends always volunteered to stay with me, no matter how much I assure them they didn't have too. Last year, it was Marlene. Her parents had gone on holiday anyway, so she and some of other McKinnon siblings were staying anyway. The five of us had had a lovely Christmas morning on the Common Room floor.

I noticed from the expressions on Marlene's face now, that she wasn't planning on staying this year. She passed over the parchment the second it got to her.

"Alright," Lily said firmly. "Which one of us is staying with Doe this year?" she asked taking

the parchment from Marlene's hands.

"Carmichael told me we're going to Gran's house in the Isles this year," Marlene said as she slid the form back to Lily. "You're welcome to come, Doe! You know Mum has always liked you, but I don't have a choice in going or staying."

I shook my head. "You guys know I really don't mind being alone."

"You can't stay alone during the holidays," Lily insisted. "I have to go home this year because Mum and Dad invited, Dad's parent's but you're always welcome there, as you well know. What about you Mary?"

Mary took the parchment from Lily and scribbled her name right below mine, flashing me a wide smile. "I'd much rather hang out here with you, then go home and pretend to our cousins that Julie and I go to some boarding school in Scotland."

I felt a tiny bit of relief as I looked at Mary's name on the parchment. As much as I could have handled being alone, I was glad I didn't have to worry about it, and that I'd have Mary with me. Holidays were better with friends around.

"Good," Lily said passing the form back in the direction of the Marauders. "Glad that's settled."

The class ended promptly after and the four of us aid our goodbyes while Mary and Lily headed off to Ancient Runes, and Marlene skipped off to Muggle Studies, ready to impress her entire class with her new knowledge of exactly what a toaster did. I walked slowly to Care of Magical Creatures, keeping my robes and scarf wrapped tightly around me as I walked. It was frigid outside. I wouldn't be surprised if it started snowing soon. As I walked, I excitedly noticed Hagrid starting to hang Garland on the outside of the castle. He and Filch always made sure the entire castle looked gorgeous all of December.

"That looks great Hagrid!" I called as I passed, watching him hang a string of Garland the size of an adult dragon.

"Thank yer, Doe. Off to Care of Magical Creatures, are ya?" Hagrid asked, slinging it over his shoulder.

A cold brisk wind slapped me in the face and made me hug my robes to me tighter. I gave him a quick nod as I shivered.

Hagrid gave me a friendly smile. "I'd be careful if I were ya. Yer working on Millbeetles today and they bite something awful. Whatever you do, don't touch their backsides. They got stingers the size of butter knives under there." He made a face as he lifted the Garland again.

"I'll watch out for those," I told him chuckling even though the cold felt like razors on my skin. "I'll see you Hagrid!"

"See you soon, Doe!" Hagrid said giving me a hearty wave.

Today's Care of Magical Creature's lesson was in an empty classroom. Probably because it was too cold for anyone to focus on anything else. Neither Amelia or I minded. We weren't particularly fond of the cold, especially not this kind of frigid cold.

The lesson turned out to be an interesting one. Hagrid was right. The mill beetles looked harmless enough when we started the lesson, but by the end everyone had cuts ranging from tiny paper cuts to four inch wounds from their stingers. Reggie Cattermole had even managed to chop off a finger and had to bring it with him to the Hospital wing to have it reattached. Amelia spent most of the period talking about the holidays and how excited she was to go home even though everyone would probably fawn over Edgar. She seemed disappointed that I would be staying at the castle but told me she hoped I would have a good time. The rest of the day seemed to melt away. Charms was a busy lesson that had us taking notes for most of the time, and History of Magic was boring as ever. Professor Binns droned on for an hour and half about ogres and when I asked him I could go to the bathroom he called Ms. Marmalade. He never got anyone's names right.

By the end of the lesson I was itching to get out of there. I had a length potions essay that was due tomorrow and I put off until the last minute, and moon chart to finish for Astrology. I had to tutor Sirius this afternoon, and hoped he would focus enough on his own homework that I might be able to finish most of it before dinner, but knowing Sirius, I couldn't count on it. When History of magic was over, I said goodbye to my friends and gathered my books and headed for the library, mentally trying to remember all eight uses for rat spleens in health potions.

"Doe! Wait up, Doe!" a soft voice called firmly from a little way behind me. I did a silent prayer it wasn't Rabastan before I turned around, knowing the voice sounded a little too reserved and not nearly arrogant enough to be him.

Remus Lupin came bounding towards me at a jog, with an armful of heavy leather-bound books pressed to his chest, while the bag on his shoulder looked full of even more. His shaggy, sandy-colored hair flopped against his forehead as he trotted towards me. There was always an air of softness and kindness that seemed to surround Remus. One that always made me wonder how he could spend so much time with James and Sirius without driving himself mad.

I stopped and waited for him to catch up. "Hey, Remus," I smiled at him. "What's going on?"

Remus stopped and caught his breath. "Sirius asked me to come and find you," he panted, his hands on his knees. "He told me to tell you that something came up, and wanted to know if you wouldn't mind doing your tutoring session after dinner in the Common Room?"

On a normal day, I would probably be a little annoyed with Sirius for trying to rearrange our tutoring schedule to accommodate what was no doubt some sort of prank on Slytherin, but today I was so busy that I didn't mind much. And Remus looked far too overworked for me to send him back with a snarky response.

"That's fine with me," I told Remus honestly. "I'm sorry he made you run after me like some kind of Owl. You didn't have to do that."

Remus made a face, "Well actually I did. Peter offered to do it, but Sirius' original comment was a touch cheeky and I didn't trust Peter not to tell you exactly what he said with no polite editing."

I sighed. Of course, Sirius had something cheeky to say. He couldn't even make a schedule change without having a laugh of it. I shifted my potions book to my other arm.

"Do I get to know what he originally said?" I asked Remus, slightly curious.

Remus frowned, and his cheeks flooded with a scarlet blush. "It was a touch suggestive…" he looked like it actually pained him to say it. "I think he was joking, but it was something about making it up to you with…err… … a trip to the broom closet on the fourth floor…" Remus looked dejected, as he saw my face. "He said you'd be amused."

My jaw had hit the floor, amazed by just how brazen Sirius was, even by proxy. I closed my mouth and smiled at Remus. "I'm sure he did. His absurdity knows no bounds."

"Are you headed back to the Common Room?" Remus asked, "Mind if I walk with you?"

I shook my head. "Of course not."

We walked together down one of the staircases closest to the history of magic classroom, now that we were near a window. I noticed just how tired Remus looked. His skin was pale, unusually pale even for December, and large dark purple circles had formed underneath his eyes, like he hadn't slept in days.

I bit my lip trying to find a way to ask about him without coming off rude. "Has everything been okay with you Remus?" I asked hesitantly. "Sirius told me your mum was sick a few months ago, around Halloween."

I knew she had been sick last month too, because Remus had missed class again, but I didn't want to overload him. Especially if it wasn't something he wanted to talk about. I knew how hard it was to have people ask about your parents if it wasn't something you didn't want to talk about. If I got any sign of that from him, I planned on dropping the topic immediately.

To my surprise, Remus looked a little relieved. Only for a second and then he gave a grave nod. "Yeah," he said softly. "Her health hasn't been very good lately. I'm supposed to visit her tomorrow actually. She's in St. Mungo's."

My heart sank, hoping that it wasn't serious. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I hope she's alright."

Something flashed quickly across Remus' face. An emotion I couldn't quite register. Was it guilt? That seemed strange. Maybe I misread it.

"Me too," he said happily. "Thanks for being so concerned. It means a lot."

I shook my head. "No problem. If you ever need anything, let me know alright? I can take notes for you. Something tells me James and Sirius aren't the most reliable when it comes to writing down History of Magic dates."

Remus offered me a wide smile. "You know that doesn't happen to be one of their strong suits. I might take you up on it. Mafalda Hopkirk always gives me trouble when I ask her, and I don't want to keep bothering Lily all the time, even if she swears I'm not."

"Any time," I assured him as we made it to the portrait hole. The Fat Lady was already swinging closed after Alice crawled through. Remus darted forward to catch the corner of her frame and hold it open for me.

"Thanks," I told him. Remus waved me off.

The Fat Lady scowled. "You know? I really hate it when you all do that. You're supposed to give the password every time to enter. Not strut in like you ruddy own the place…"

"Sorry," Remus said to the Fat Lady and rolled his eyes the moment we had crawled the portrait hole.

The Common Room was crowded with Gryffindors, just like it always was after last lesson. The first years were sitting in front of the fire playing gob stones, while some of the older students looked on with a mild interest. Most of the fifth, sixth and seventh years were all stretched around two of the couches listening to Krysten tell what looked like a very animated story about meeting a vampire on her last Christmas holiday. Nora was sat between her and Fabian, leaning as close to the ginger boy as she could. Nora was pretty, with light brown hair and freckles across her nose. Fabian seemed pleased was interested. Otto had his arm around Hestia, who looked pretty despite the fading yellow bruising on her nose. Carmichael seemed to be watching the two of them, looking very irritated at Otto's arm. Only Landon McKinnon seemed to be not participating, sitting alone in an armchair in the corner annotating a very worn copy of Quidditch through the ages. The loss must have affected him worse than I had thought. Remus scanned the room once and sighed.

"I should go see and if I can find my dorm mates before we find the astronomy tower on fire," Remus said dryly. "Thanks for the talk, Doe."

"My pleasure," I told him, "Good luck reigning the rest of your foursome."

He gave me a fleeting look. "Godric knows I'll need it," he said and disappeared back out of the

Portrait hole.

I shifted my bag on my arm and noticed Mary sitting alone on one of the plush couches alone in one of the corners. She had a book open in her lap but she was staring at something ahead of her. She barely noticed me when I dropped down beside her.

"Oh, hey, Doe," she said softly. "I thought you had to tutoring with Sirius today?"

I curled up, wrapping my legs underneath me. "I did. But Princess Black rescheduled for after dinner," I said rolling my eyes. Mary chuckled, but she still kept staring ahead of her.

"Where's Marlene and Lily?" I asked her, wondering why she was here alone, and not sitting with the group of older students.

"They went to see if they could find the textbook Marlene left in Muggle Studies and I didn't feel like heading all the way back up to the sixth floor."

Still her eyes didn't falter from what she was staring at. I followed her gaze and noticed she was watching Landon. He was furiously circling something in the book, his eyebrows furrowed, looking frustrated. Mary sighed, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Can I tell you something Doe?" Mary asked desperately.

I shifted suddenly very curious. "Of course, you can, Mare. What's going on?"

"You have to swear you won't tell Marlene, ok? Not Lily either, but especially not Marlene."

Mary suddenly looked very nervous, she was practically biting her bottom lip off.

"I promise I won't say anything," I assured her. "Did you use the last of her Witch Weekly Hair Shine potion or something? Because I doubt you could do or say anything Marlene couldn't know about."

Mary shook her head, letting her dark fringe hang into her eyes. I noticed she was wearing lipstick today. The color of it looked perfect on her creamy brown skin. It amazed me how every single one of my friends could be so beautiful.

Mary bit her lip, and dropped her voice so it was barely a whisper. If I hadn't been right beside her, I wouldn't have been able to hear her. "This is going to sound a little crazy, and I know Marlene would kill me if she found out, but…I think…I don't know… I think I might like Landon."

"Landon McKinnon?" I asked quickly, too quickly. It had caught me off guard. I knew she could see the surprise written across my face.

Mary hung her head. "I know. It's crazy, isn't it? And I know it would freak Marlene out but there's just something about him that I like. And I dunno, we always's had a good banter between us. I always thought he might like me too. Or he did before he lost the Quidditch match. He hadn't said much of anything to me since then."

Thinking back on it, I had noticed that Mary and Landon got on really well. I had always thought that it was just Landon and Mary being flirty, like they were with other people. They were both fit people. They even had similar senses of humor. I didn't know how I hadn't put it together sooner. It made so much sense now that I knew how Mary felt.

"It doesn't sound crazy to me," I told her honestly. "Not at all."

"Really?" she asked quickly, her whole face lighting up with color. She was hanging on my every word.

I shook my head. "No, not at all. Landon's a nice guy, and he does seem to like you. Who cares if he's Marlene's brother?"

Mary's bottom lip quivered a little as she smiled. "I guess it doesn't matter much right now. Landon's so depressed about the match he doesn't care about anything else. I'm not going to pursue anything until he snaps out of it."

"Maybe you could be the thing to cheer him up," I suggested. "Losing the first Quidditch game of the year is really hard for everyone, especially a Captain. He probably just needs something to look forward to besides another match."

Mary's eyes drifted over to him again, but instead of admiration she looked hesitant and guarded. "Maybe. I guess I'll see how I feel when the next Hogsmeade visit comes around."

She sighed and dropped her head onto my shoulder. "You think Marlene will skin me alive if she finds out?" she asked quietly.

I patted her head. "I don't think so. Marlene's free-spirited about romance, you know that. She's not exactly the kind to judge. And anyway, she loves you, Mare. I think she'd support anything that makes you happy."

"I hope so," Mary said and then shook her head. "Anyway, I'm glad you're here. Krysten has been telling that story for fifteen minutes now and I'm about to murder her. I need a distraction."

"Well," I told her plopping down onto the carpet, and placing my textbooks and parchment on the coffee table. "I have a potions essay and an astrology chart to finish. Want to help?"

Mary frowned. "Not really, but I guess I have no choice, huh? Unless I want to hear about Krysten's romantic tryst with a vampire."

"How does that even work?" I chuckled opening the book to the moon cycles chapter., "seems like it would be a little hard to snog someone when they're trying to sink their teeth into your neck."

"Leave it to Krysten to figure it out," Mary said shaking her head at the dark-haired girl across the room.

Mary and I spent the entire few hours we had before dinner working on our homework. The potions essay went easy enough. Lily had spent the entire class period the day before explaining it to Marlene and I in vivid detail, so I didn't mind writing it so much. It was the astrology chart that was soul-crushing. It was tedious busy work. It didn't take much thought to fill in the moons on the chart and it left my mind to free to wander to everything; My parents. Their upcoming horrible anniversary. Mary and Landon. Remus.

I thought about Remus the longest. His trouble with his mother's health made my stomach drop. I couldn't imagine what it was like to be going through that. When I lost my parents, it was quick. Watching them die slowly over years would have destroyed me.

And having to go up to St. Mungo's to visit them would be terrible. I filled in the moon phase for tomorrow night while I thought about how traumatic that would be. I drew in the full moon. For tomorrow night. What an awful time to be out and about.

By the time dinner rolled around I was still absorbed in my moon chart, and I was yawning as I drew another week's worth of moons.

"You coming to dinner?" Mary asked, as most of the common room cleared out for the Great Hall.

I shook my head, "You go. I really want to finish this before midnight," I sighed. "I still have another month's worth of moons to chart."

"Alright. I'll sneak you back some food."

"Thanks, Mary."

I spent almost the entire time everyone was at dinner finishing up the moon charts, until my eyes were squinting and I filled in the final moon. I was exhausted tonight and wanted nothing more to go upstairs and crawl into my bed, but I had to wait and tutor Sirius. I leaned backward resting against the couch while the rest of our house came slowly filing back into the Common Room.

I didn't see Sirius come in until he was right beside me.

"Merlin Meadowes, if I knew you were going to look this exhausted I wouldn't have made you wait for me," Sirius said plopping down on the plush carpet beside me. His hair was pulled back in a loose bun on his shoulders, and was smirking at me.

I turned around and gave Sirius a pointed look. "Haven't you ever heard it's not polite to insult a woman's physical appearance?" I asked.

Sirius chuckled. "Whose insulting you, Meadowes? You can be extremely fit and look like you need to crawl into bed too. Then again, you probably need to crawl into someone else's bed."

I rolled my eyes. "You really have a way with words, Sirius, I'll give you that," I told him opening the fat Charms book in front of him.

"You get right don't the point, don't you?" Sirius sighed taking out his quill. "Not even a little small talk first? I haven't seen much of you lately. Actually, no one has."

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my fist. "I've been so busy studying lately I haven't even had the time to sleep or eat," I admitted. Truthfully, I had been so absorbed with distracting myself from my parents upcoming anniversary that I had barely slept. I was having nightmares every night and even hours of potions homework couldn't make it any easier.

"That reminds me," Sirius said handing me something wrapped in a napkin. "Macdonald forced this into my hand and told me to give it to you. She and McKinnon went off to pull Evans away from Snivellus." Sirius made a face at the mention of the Slytherin.

"Good. She spends way too much time with him anyway."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Not a fan of Snivelly are we? What happened to 'don't egg him on'"

"I said don't egg him on, not that I like him," I reminded him.

I unwrapped the napkin and found a hefty hunk of roast pork sitting on a buttered roll with greens. Mary had crafted me a sandwich out of dinner, and it smelled fantastic. I bit into it and almost moaned.

Sirius watched looking a little amused as I finished the entire thing in a minute.

"So what was so pressing you had to reschedule?" I asked him, swallowing a large mouthful of food.

"Not so much a what, but a who," Sirius corrected. "Cessa Urquhart finally decided to show me a little sneak preview of the Ravenclaw dormitories, if you know what I mean." He looked rather proud of himself.

My jaw fell open before I could stop it. He had canceled tutoring for a girl? From what Remus had said, it was something important. I could feel the anger seething through my veins. It took everything I had to try and squash it.

"You made me reschedule for a snogging session?" I seethed. My teeth were clenched, and I narrowed my eyes as I stared him down. It took everything in me not to scream. I don't know why I was so angry. It was rude and inconsiderate, sure. But when had Sirius ever claimed not to do things like that? Why was it infuriating me so much?

"Not just any snogging session," Sirius clarified. "One with Cessa Urquart. She's that sixth year with the giant-"

I cut him off. "Stop. I guarantee I don't want to hear what was about to come out of your mouth."

"I was going to say, giant smile. Get your mind out of the gutter, Meadowes. Actually, don't. I think I much prefer you this way."

He chuckled and then turned back to his Charms homework, filling the first question with ease.

I didn't have any other homework to do so I rested my head on the edge of the couch letting my eyes slip closed, listening to the scratching Sirius' quill on the parchment.

"You know Meadowes," Sirius said, as my eyelids fluttered, "if you're that exhausted you can go to bed. I am capable of finishing my homework without you."

"Are you?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes closed. "Professor Flitwick doesn't seem to think so."

"Well you're not much of a babysitter or a tutor if you're out cold, are you, Darling?"

I lifted my head, letting my eyes open as I watched him focus on the homework in front of him, struggling because they felt like lead.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "You wanna tell me why you've been so weird lately, Meadowes? Normally you're tripping over yourself to sass me during these sessions of ours and now you're falling asleep on me? I have to say this a first."

I let the corners of my mouth turn downward as he looked at me. I knew exactly why I was being so weird. I was so busy trying to distract myself from my parent's death it was all I was thinking about.

Sirius was still looking at me, waiting for me to answer. One I wasn't ready to give him. I could barely tell Marlene or Mary. I certainly wasn't going to tell him.

"I've just been busy, I promise," I told him.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're not a good liar, Meadowes."

"Neither are you," I reminded him. "Care to tell me how you managed to make the chairs in the transfiguration room scream?"

Sirius grinned. "I have no idea what you're talking about. How could you insinuate that I had anything to do with that? You're going to tarnish my reputation."

Even through my exhaustion, I snorted. "Please, Black. Your reputation is so tarnished you can hardly see it anymore."

"Good to know the sass is still buried in there, Meadowes," Sirius chuckled going back to his book.

I flashed him a small smile as he finished his homework. For some reason, tonight Sirius innuendo and prying into my personal life didn't seem to bother me.

Instead, it was a welcomed distraction. Better than any potions homework or moon chart.