First off, this is long overdue. *le big breath*
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the awesome feedback on this story. I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I am. Really, you know as much as I do; I write as I go. The plot could change drastically and Gabriel could be brought back from the dead (sorry, everyone, I love him too, but that's not going to happen *sad face*) and it's SOOO wonderful to know that I have you faithful readers who would stick by me, no matter what.
Now, all is revealed in this chapter
Special Mention for guessing the song: HaventMetMyAngelYet
Thanks, hun. Spoiler in your inbox ;D
The Innocent
Chapter 9: Oh My Darling, Make It Go Away
Song of the Chapter: Hold You All Night- Levi Kreis
"Hi?" said Castiel. He looked from Anna to the picture of his mother on the wall, and then back to Anna.
"Don't you remember me, Cas? Come on, it's only been a decade or so," said Anna, that smile still in place. Castiel cocked his head to the side, his eyes narrowing in concentration. Then his eyes widened and his arms hung limp at his sides.
"Little Anna? My little Annie?" croaked Castiel, emotions bubbling up in his throat. He swallowed thickly. "Is that really you?"
Anna nodded, her smile faltering as tears welled up in her eyes. "Hey, big brother, it's good to see you again," she said, a small sob of pure joy escaping her lips as she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his neck.
Castiel did the same, wrapping her tightly in his arms, his happy tears falling in her hair. "I thought they took you away," he whispered brokenly. "I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought I'd lost you."
"I missed you so much, Cassie," Anna sobbed.
"Shh. Shh. It's all right, I'm here now. We're here now," said Castiel, rubbing her back like he had Dean's.
When Gabriel had been beaten to death by Castiel's father, they'd taken Anna away because Castiel refused to go. His father had been charged with murder, child abuse and neglect. Declan was in prison for fifteen years, he'd only gotten out a few years ago.
But Castiel wasn't as naïve as the children his age, he knew what was wrong and he knew what he had to do about it.
Castiel felt he couldn't leave his mother alone with Declan, even on parole, not after witnessing what he was capable of; the damage he could bring to his sick mother.
So, he'd stayed. Only a year later his mother passed and Castiel was taken in by foster parents, Lech and Maya McCoullacough. They were young and excited about having a child, but Castiel stayed neutral.
He had never loved them, not like he was supposed to. They were overbearing, too eager and constantly taking up Cas's personal space. He'd liked them, but he hadn't loved them.
And eventually, Lech had grown tired of Castiel's tantrums as a child and had resorted to a style of discipline he was more familiar with. Slapping. Declan had done it multiple times to Castiel before being hauled off to jail and now Castiel had to deal with it all over again.
Maya had just stood by, unable to do anything and too much of a coward to try.
So, when he couldn't take it anymore, he ran away at the early age of sixteen.
FLASHBACK- Nine Years Ago
"Mom, Da," said Castiel, inwardly grimacing at those two names; names that were saved for his real parents. The real parents that had left him alone and angry at the world. Left him with these people who
"Hey, Castiel." Lech popped into the foyer, smiling widely, his once red hair now greying behind his ears.
Castiel pushed his glasses up his nose; a nervous habit of his. "We need to talk," Castiel said simply, gesturing to the couch in the centre of the small room.
Lech's smile faltered a bit but he obliged, Maya trailing behind him, casting a curious glance at Castiel.
Cas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "There's really no easy way to say it, so I'm going to be blunt." He looked between Lech and Maya, meeting both their eyes before he spoke.
"Mom. Da. I'm gay."
Castiel waited anxiously for his parents reactions. Maya was the first to speak.
"Oh, sweetie, no you're not," she said, smiling like she knew something he didn't.
Castiel scoffed. "Excuse me?"
"You're not gay, Castiel. You're just confused. It's all right to be experiencing these feelings at your age," said Maya, reaching out to Castiel who jerked back in surprise.
"I am not confused," he snapped, straining to keep his voice even and calm.
"Of course you are," said Lech, his tone hard, his expression stony. "No son of mine will like men. You are not gay."
Castiel gave him an incredulous stare. "Your son? Your son? I am not your son. You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through."
"Watch your tone, young man. You will speak to me with respect-," began Lech, but Castiel interrupted him with a sharp bark of a laugh; it held no humour.
"Respect? You earn respect. You earn it by showing it, by showing love. Don't you think I've had to deal with being hit enough? Being tormented? Being humiliated by my so-called 'parents'? I'm sick of it. I am leaving. I'm not coming back."
Lech sneered, his ugly side beginning to make itself known. "Where will you go? From what I understand, you have no friends. You have no money." Lech paused then sneered. "You have no family."
To Castiel's surprise, he didn't react as badly to that last comment as he would have expected. Instead, he cocked his head to the side and stared at Lech, his piercing blue gaze challenging Lech's light green one.
Castiel let out a soft chuckle, turned on his heel, grabbed his backpack (that practically everything he owned anyway) and walked out the door, ignoring Maya's desperate pleas and never once looking back.
Anna and Castiel walked back into the kitchen smiling hugely. Castiel was happy to prove Lech wrong. He did have family, and he'd finally been reunited with them after all those years of being lonely.
He had Dean. He had Anna. And if things went as well as he hoped, he would soon have a niece and a nephew.
They entered the kitchen to find Dean furiously tickling a squealing Caelan.
"Uncle! Unnnclllee!" she screamed and gasped as Dean finally relented. As soon as he removed his hands, Cael gave a counter attack, her fingers tickling Dean's ribs, who squealed nearly as high as Caelan.
"Okay, okay! I give, I give! You win!" gasped Dean, tears on his face from laughing too hard.
Castiel laughed and Dean turned, a happy smile donning his face, something Castiel was beginning to see more and more of. It made him happy, making his heart swell and his chest fill with love for the older man.
"Dean, it's time to go." Castiel watched as Dean and crossed his arms, Caelan mimicking him.
"I don't wanna," said Dean, sticking out his lower lip. Caelan nodded her head seriously.
"Yeah, he doesn't wanna," she repeated.
Anna raised an eyebrow. "Don't make me put you two in time out. Don't put it past me, Dean. Big boy or not, Hell hath no fury like a mother's scorn," she said threateningly.
Dean grumbled. "Fine. See you later, sweetie. You too, Dane," Dean said, helping Cael slide off his lap. She pouted impressively, her little lower lip thrown out like a professional.
"Now, now, Caelan. Don't want to be a bad influence on Dean, do we?" said Anna over her shoulder as she helped Cas and Dean through the shop.
She patted both their shoulder's as they reached the front door. "Come back anytime, boys. It was good seeing you, Castiel. And Dean, if you don't want to risk 'death by fairy wand' then you should come and visit again, Caelan absolutely adores you."
"Yes, ma'am," said Dean, grinning like an idiot as he slid into the seat beside Castiel.
Castiel and Dean were lying side by side on Castiel's bed, their hands intertwined, the lights off. The darkness was comforting to Dean, it was much less confusing than the swirling shades of light that continually battered his eyes during the day.
Dean smiled as he thought of Caelan, the sweet little thing. Dean couldn't even see her, but he was already wrapped around her little finger. And Dane, the brave kid. He seemed to be handling his being blind very well. He didn't complain, he didn't whine (not like Dean).
Castiel's raspy voice broke through the content silence, sending a small shiver down Dean's spine. He loved Castiel's voice. But that may have had to do more with the fact that all he could do was listen. And he was completely fine with doing that.
"What are you thinking about?" Castiel asked, turning on his side to look at Dean, watching as the sliver of moonlight streaming through the old blue curtain highlighted Dean's hair and face. He found himself staring at his lips. He liked Dean's lips.
"It's kind of stupid. Don't laugh at me," said Dean. Contrary to popular belief, Dean was extremely shy. He put on a tough guy façade when he went to work, when he was actually capable of keeping his emotions to himself. But when he was alone, he let it drop, let his shoulders slump and let his fake smile slip away with the rest of him. When dean was alone, he felt like he had nothing to live for.
"I won't laugh."
Dean fidgeted. "I was thinking about your voice."
Castiel cocked his head to the side. "My…voice?" he asked, his tone sounding adorably confused to Dean.
Dean could feel his cheeks burning. "I like your voice. It makes me happy and relaxed and comfortable." Dean paused. "You know, before my Uncle Balthazar moved to Australia he would always tell me you could see a person's soul through their eyes. But it's not like that with you."
Dean stopped, turning away from Castiel and smothering himself with the pillow. He breathed out an embarrassed sigh. Castiel was silent.
"See, I told you it was stupid," Dean muttered.
He felt a hand brush his collarbone, something Castiel did that Dean found very comforting.
"What's it like, then? I'd really like to know, Dean. I don't think it's stupid," said Castiel, brushing his fingertips lightly over Dean's collarbone, up his neck, across his jaw and then repeating.
Dean let out a soft sigh. "It's like I can see your soul through your voice." Dena paused and fiddled with the ring he wore on his left hand. Castiel would ask him about it later, right now he really wanted to hear what Dean had to say.
Dean continued. "It's like…coming home." Dean removed the pillow from his face and turned on his side, his knees brushing Castiel's as he faced the younger man. "Do you know how long it's been since I've felt that, Cas? Damn near forever."
"Dean," Cas whispered, his voice full of emotion at Dean's loving words.
"Let me finish. I don't think I could ever repay you for all you've done for me. It's just I…I love you so much, and it kills me that that's all I can give you in return," said Dean dejectedly, his voice sounding small.
Castiel suddenly wrapped his arms around Dean, pressing him to his chest. Castiel kissed Dean's hair, letting his lips linger as he closed his eyes and willed away his emotional tears.
"Dean, you've given me more than I could have ever hoped for. You've given me everything I've ever wanted. I haven't know the feeling of love since Gabriel died. I haven't let myself be touched by anyone. Then you come along and it's like rays of sunshine after being in the dark for too long. It hurts a bit, but I'll adjust and get used to it.
"I love you just the way you are; blind or not. You're beautiful to me, Dean. I was wrong to let myself be cut off for so long. You've changed me, in more ways than one."
Dean was weeping silently as Castiel spoke, his heart wrenching at his words. Dean lifted his hands to Castiel's face, cradling his jaw softly. He leant forward, giving a Castiel a chance to say stop, to tell him to take it slow. He didn't.
Dean touched their lips together gently, hesitantly. Dean felt that small spark just as Castiel did. It wasn't a flame just yet, but it was creating a dull burn in their chests that ached for the other.
The carefully began to move their lips, almost in sync. Dean's hands cupped the back of Castiel's neck as the younger man found purchase in the light blue T-shirt on Dean's body. His hands fisted in the fabric as the love in that kiss nearly tore him to pieces. The walls around his heart couldn't take it anymore, the plaster and bricks cracking as the love overflowed and filled him, leaving the concrete to drop away and disappear into nothing.
Dean felt as if he would burst at the seams as he grasped Castiel's hair, slightly deepening the kiss. The two men were shaking, the aching need to be held nearly breaking them both. Dean wanted this, needed this. He wanted to feel it, to let it in and fill him.
When they finally parted for breath, Dean pressed their foreheads together, letting their breaths mingle in the otherwise silent room. Without saying a word, Dean pressed a kiss to Cas's temple and tugged the blue and white quilt over the both of them. Castiel immediately curled into Dean, their arms locked around each other in a sweet embrace.
Neither had to say it because it was already known. Their mingling breaths and happy smiles said it all.
I love you.
Hey, hey, hey! Good, eh? Reckon I should do fluff more often! Yay! Fluffy Castiel! Erm…excuse me…xO
Oh and to FhyreNIce, I sort of skipped ahead. Dean and Castiel have known each other for about two and a half to three weeks tops.
It's funny how love can be so quick…
Reviews are accepted, not required, but loved.
Salt and Burn,
Dublin O'Malley
XOXOX
