Still Carlisle's POV
On the way back to the apartment, with a fair sized bag of medication and bad news to tell Esme, we were both silent. Alice had her legs pulled up to her chest and was hugging them to her body. Her head rested on them, I think she might have been crying. It wasn't until we were pulling into the parking lot that Alice spoke, startling me.
"What do you think she'll say?" She whispered.
I sighed. "I don't know Honey, but it has to be done. You know that."
She nodded and got out of the car. The apartment building we were staying at was quite small, four floors and 200 apartments. I knew almost everyone on our floor. In the elevator, I hit the three button and just as the doors were closing a man stuck his hand in making them re-open. It was Tom Smith, he lived in the apartment next to us, his wife and Esme were friends. He had a daughter Alice's age, but they'd only hung out once or twice.
"Good afternoon Carlisle." he greeted me. "Alice."
"It is indeed," I said back. Alice looked at him and attempted a smile. "How have things been lately?"
"Oh just wonderful, and you?"
"Not bad. Although we are moving again."
We arrived at our floor. "I know, that's too bad. Esme is over at my place right now, you two should pop over for a visit as well."
"Sounds good" Alice smiled for real this time, probably the only reason being I wasn't going to tell Esme about her cutting in front of others.
Tom's wife Elizabeth, was a kind loving woman, much like Esme. I suppose that's why the two of them got along so well. However their daughter Winnie was Alice's polar opposite. Tall, thin, blonde hair blue eyes, popular, loud and almost too polite. She didn't seem to mind Alice's company but Alice sure minded hers. When she got back from their first meeting a record length of profanities was used to describe Winnie.
Inside Tom's apartment, Esme and Elizabeth were sat down on the couch having a cup of coffee and talking. Winnie was in a recliner, watching "Pretty Little Liars" on tv.
"Hello Carlisle." Elizabeth said. "Hey Alice, Winnie's been asking about seeing you again. How have you been?"
"Fine." she mumbled and sat down next to Esme.
"You don't sound fine to me" Esme said. "What's wrong?"
Alice looked up at me. "Tell her the thing you knew but not the thing you didn't. You know, the big thing."
Tom laughed. "Are you sure what thing she means?"
"Nope. So I'm gonna take a guess." I looked Esme in the eye. "Alice has Bi-polar disorder."
Esme just nodded curtly. "I suppose we need to chat in private now don't we."
"Mhmm." I said. "Do you guys mind if Alice stays over and extra 15 minutes?"
"Oh not at all!" Elizabeth practically yelled. "We love having Alice over. Would you like something to eat Honey?"
"No thanks" she mumbled.
Winnie spoke for the first time since we had arrived, "Why don't we go to my room?"
"Sure" she said and they went off.
Back in our apartment Esme pulled me into a hug so tight I couldn't breathe and started crying. "Oh Carlisle! Bi-polar disorder! Do you know how high the suicide rate for bi-polar people is?"
"Yes" I mumbled into her hair. "But that's actually the better of the news. We already have her started on mood stabilizers, look out for side effects." She nodded.
"Then what's the bad news."
I took a deep breath, just like Dr. Parsons had done before telling me. "Alice is cutting herself."
Esme's knees gave out and she collapsed into my arms sobbing. I carried her into our bedroom and cuddled her on the bed. "How bad?" she whispered after a while.
"I don't know, I haven't seen yet. Although Dr. Parsons says they're only small..
The door to the apartment opened and closed. Alice peeked into the room. "Do you hate me Mom?" she asked.
Esme jumped up and hugged her. "Of course not. Your going through a tough time, although were going to have to find you a better coping method."
"Lets see them" I said. "The cuts."
Alice sighed, hesitated and slowly pulled off her jeans, wincing as they brushed over her thighs. Esme sat down on the bed bringing Alice with her. I got up to get a better look. With wide eyes I touched my fingers to the thin cris-cross lines covering her upper leg. Tears filled her eyes, from pain or shame I don't know but she let me keep my hand there. Slowly, she brought on of Esme's hands down to her other leg. I watched as she traced over each cut once, twice, three times.
"Each one represents a time when I couldn't stand the pain." Alice whispered. "And right now there should be a fresh one, beautiful blood dripping down my leg." she sighed and traced over her scars, relaxing on the bed with the memories of cutting herself.
It shocked me how people who cut actually thought that way. The blood and sliced skin was a relief, unlike the pain it would cause others. "Maybe there should be another one" I said "but there won't be."
