Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine. It's fiction.
Note: This is Alternate Universe. If you see that some things are off, it's because AU offers the ability to change everything, even the setting, which I will not. This is another life, in which Light keeps relating to his past life, which was his life as Kira.
- Also, I was skeptical about posting. I don't know if it's good... I'm always my worst critic.
To dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.
yaoi loveing wolf: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
moonlit dew: Unfortunately, sometimes, while I overthink a line, I will repeat it and Word will not pick up on it, though it does usually. It'll come up as a mistake, how odd, huh? lol Thanks for telling me. Negative and positive feedback is always welcomed. Thank you for following this and for giving me fulfilling reviews, I do always look forward to them, so thank you.
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Broken Sparrow
by Miss Odzy
09: Yakushima Island
'I still miss you now that you could kiss the clouds.'
That morning, I had found myself waking up from a dreamless sleep. That only meant that Ryuuzaki hadn't gone to bed. After we had realized what our true selves had done, L and Kira, a cloud of apprehension and awkwardness had fallen down on us, and I had left – not wanting to, for the blush on Ryuuzaki's face had touched something – a feeling that I couldn't identify, but wanting to reunite it once again.
I could feel the aftereffect of last night, my body exhausted still, as I sat up and reached for the medication on the side table: The pain in my chest making it difficult to breathe in this morning, as I grew irrevocably closer to death. Luckily, I could move, as I walked to the bathroom and swallowed a handful of water, the pill going down. I hated being reduced to this, but today, I was going to find the Death Note.
Confident, are we? I suppose with my help, it shouldn't be that hard to find.
"You and L…" I murmured, while resting my back against the nearest wall. "You two were lovers, why didn't you tell me, or show me, rather."
I didn't feel that it was necessary. What difference would that have made?
And sadly, Kira had a point. Though, I wasn't prepared for the experience I had undergone. I wasn't even myself, but I was Kira, at a time that he had been innocent. I had only wanted L to accept me and yet, I had killed him in the end. I'd kill him today, I'd damn him, even though it would be only years later. But as much as I had damned him, I had damned myself, but to save him? Yes…
I always kept that innocent part of myself. That is why I need to do this, as I realized what I've done to L, to Ryuuzaki, was completely inexcusable. Try being unable to escape those who have died by your own doing…
I'm no longer a person.
I'm no longer human.
But I am a monster.
And will soon become a reaper.
"You did feel human though," I reminded him, while opening up the door and heading out into the living room, or what was supposed to be a living room, though the plentiful televisions declared otherwise.
Hm… You're right. Thank you.
I breathed, trying harder each time.
Ryuuzaki's standing figure reminded me of L, they were practically the same person, because L wouldn't have blushed. L can't blush, L was dead, and Ryuuzaki was the liveliness of his dead being. He was the quench of thirst that L could no longer sip, and he was the breath of air, that L would never be able to maintain, unless I do this.
"Ryuuzaki," He looked over when hearing his name called, he had been in a daze. I continued, while taking a few – precise steps closer, not wanting to scare him away, "You collected a notebook, when you went searching for answers. Ryuuzaki, I need to see it."
He bit at his nail, speaking – no, mumbling, "The plain notebook?"
"Yes, the plain notebook." But it wasn't plain, Ryuuzaki, in fact, it had the biggest piece of the puzzle hidden on one of the pages. He looked at me carefully, as if trying to read my thoughts, or possibly speaking with L inside his own. After a moment of long hesitation and indecision, he walked down the hallway, and proceeded to peak my interest.
He had nothing to fear by giving me a 'plain' notebook, so why was he being so careful with it?
That's the L in him. He doesn't trust you. And he doesn't have to have a reason.
He returned with the notebook, Kira letting me know that it was the exact one. I took it when he extended his hand and looked at it, judging it. This was the key to the treasure, hm? I flipped open the pages, looking for the 'escape' page, finding it. It was the only page written on and Kira had been right, it was written in an obtuse way, within it complicated designing. But I understood it as the shape of Yakushima.
Very good…
I think it would be best for us to start now. We're running out of time. Your aura is flaring. And I could feel your breathing patterns dropping. It's hard for you, isn't it?
"Ryuuzaki-"
"Can't I go with you?" He turned his back to face me, hiding himself, pretending to become interested in what was outside, when there was nothing particularly great about rainclouds and traffic. Like a child, he sounded so small. And I wanted to touch him, only to hold him.
If he went with me, then he'd see what I would have to do.
"I can't have you there." He let out a sigh, as he tilted his head to the side, looking at me. His eyes dark – like charcoal, black and fierce, his lips in a thin line, and I flinched, as if feeling the force from it physically. "I don't want you to see what happens."
"You're going to die, aren't you? That's why? Why not spend it with me…" These were the things that L would never say, or had he already? Had L said something, when he knew that he was about to die, and if so, what was it? What could I do? I can't allow Ryuuzaki to see me dead, or to watch me write his name down, his true name.
If you want to see it so badly, I remember it as if it had just happened.
My mind reeled and I felt myself falling, crashing down onto my knees. I couldn't hear the noise in the room, not Ryuuzaki's voice, nor the sound of the rain lightly patting on the window, not the air – nor anything. When I raised my head to look up, I saw the vision of L and Kira. They were soaked. And within a millisecond, the rain that had come from that point in time, struck me.
I could finally hear.
The walls appeared, and the rain was no longer pounding in my head. L was walking towards Kira, removing the towel from his wet strands of hair, and kneels down before him. My mouth fell opened, not understanding where this could be the moment where L realizes that Kira is about to kill him, or that he was about to die. He was drying off Kira's feet?
He flinched, surpressing a laugh – L's finger must've gone along the sole, I mused, knowing where I'm most ticklish, or perhaps it was from the drop of water that landed on my foot. I could feel it. Then, with the kind warmth that I recognized in my true self, I saw Kira reaching out with his towel and gently padding along L's head. His hair was still soaked. At this point in time, Kira still had sympathy for L?
"You and I will be parting ways soon."
My eyes widened, as L's voice rang loudly in my ear. You and I will be parting ways soon, he said. Just then, I was brought back to reality, the memory shattering before me, as Ryuuzaki's hand is placed on my shoulder, "Are you okay? You fell…"
"I'm fine," I was shaking my head, and already steadying myself against the table.
"L told me you'd die and he explained why, but," He couldn't continue, as he sat down in one of the many chairs in the room, his legs up – in a crouching position. I smiled, again intrigued by how much he and L are alike.
"There's nothing more precious then," I caught myself saying something so utterly true and fulfilling, the words that should have been said. I rephrased it, "…saving you is precious to me. And dying means nothing."
"I don't want you to die alone." I paused, standing in front of him. Even though his face was masked, no emotion showing on his face, his voice was powerful enough to reveal everything that he wants to show me. The sadness in his voice couldn't make me falter, I couldn't allow him to do this to me, I wouldn't regret this.
"That's not how I see it-" He cut me off, while wrapping his arms around me – like vines. His tall slender body melding against me, and it felt like he wasn't going to let go. He was comfortable and familiar, yet new – always new. And my heart, if only for a moment, feels better – I could breathe, while breathing him. My arms slowly reacted, going around his waist. I could feel it, that moment that feeling I wanted to reunite.
I didn't realize that any of this would happen, you must realize.
I didn't blame Kira, no – I wanted to thank him.
Yakushima island was made up of what any island would consist of: Trees and rivers. But they weren't any ordinary trees - they were fairly large, the many roots claiming the long age, the colors of the forest area were vibrant, and even though there was a fog, it was refreshing, to smell the scent of rain and wood. And the winding rooted trees looked mystical and fixating to see.
The flowers were of pink and white, blossoming full and the path that Kira had written down, was one full of sights. It was gorgeous, as was any road to destruction. But at least the long trip would be enjoyable. The rocks were covered with moss, and the dew from the grass started seeping through my pants. There was a glow coming from between the trees, green and glowing.
When I took in another breath of air, I knew that I was growing closer and closer to the river on the map. Beyond the few trees, of course – and when I reached there, I shortly rested. The water was cold in my hands and soothing, as I splashed the palm sized amount on my face.
"Light."
I took the small walky-talky out of my bag and answered Ryuuzaki, "Yes?"
"I've never been to Yakushima Island, how is it?" Ryuuzaki had insisted that I at least take a walky-talky, and that I was dropped off sufficiently and carefully. I told him that I'd rather walk through the forest alone, and that's when the walky-talky charade began. Incase I needed anything or if I was in danger, I'd have Ryuuzaki here as safety, even if he wasn't physically here in person.
The loss of him…
But the rebirth would be irreplaceable.
You're almost there, Light, just a little further.
"It's perfect," I said, while holding in a breath. I didn't want him to sense how weak I was growing, while in reality, I was just about ready to collapse.
"Perfect?" I could hear him smile, "I doubt there's such a thing."
We'll see…
Stop.
In front of me, twenty minutes past the river I had last stopped at, was a waterfall. I watched it flowing for awhile, staring into it. It wasn't large, but it was wide enough and long enough to transfix me, just like everything in my life – this forest. It's complicated and it's waiting, and it's filled with life, but also filled with death: This entire time and my entire life.
Yagami Light…
The Death Note is hidden behind the Waterfall. There's a hole in the rock behind it, it's wrapped up in cloth. You'll need to swim and get it.
"Swim and get it," I repeated, while expressionlessly staring at the rushing current and rough flow of the water. My weak, dying self would have to swim through that? I mused to myself, yes, there's no better time like the present. There was no better time to feel this way, no, there wasn't any fear, there could never be fear.
I walked in – my legs trudging through the water, until I was waist deep, and swimming through the cold, fresh water. My teeth were chattering and I felt my arms and legs growing numb. But there was no better time than the present; I reminded myself, while using full arm strokes. Swim and get it. I reached out – straining myself, my chest burning – as I heaved towards the rushing water.
And while it rushed downwards, the pull had taken me beneath the surface. The bubbles forming from my lips, as I tried breathing – gasping – as I rapidly moved forward, trying to grasp hold of the rocks. I couldn't. The wall was slippery, the green slime not in my favor, as I swallowed nothing, but water. My insides were aching and my legs kicking, but to no avail.
I didn't want to die this way.
Without doing anything… without saving anyone…
Ryuuzaki…
What are you doing! Light…Wake up!
It felt good, feeling this sleepy.
An open sea of darkness, that's what it felt like.
"Light!"
That was just a voice of an angel.
Perhaps now that I'm dead, L could find his place. Maybe that was L.
Light…Breathe…
"Breathe Light, please."
Ryuuzaki. I'm so sorry.
End of Chapter.
Well, guys! Just one more chapter left!
