Thane felt his eyelids become heavier by the minute despite the fact that he had been pacing a line near the windows up and down, his focus directed on the dull, rainy scenery.
He stopped pacing and fisted his hands at his sides as he desperately suppressed the urge to sit down, knowing that if he allowed his body to relax for even a second that he would fall asleep. He couldn't allow that to happen; he needed to stay awake and look out for her safety. Whoever was after them could pinpoint their location and attack them. He needed to be ready for everything.
Sighing, he rubbed his eyes with his forefingers before glancing down at the clock on his omni-tool; it was three in the morning. He looked at the hallway Alex had disappeared in and couldn't help but think about her.
The way she left without saying anything about his confession troubled him. He didn't like tapping in the dark, but until he talked to her about it there was no way he could guess what was going on through her head. Her thoughts were a mystery to him, and he admitted that each passing minute made him only more eager to explain that he wasn't a killer, that she wasn't in danger from him. Far from it.
He had caught the bullet for her without hesitation. The moment the shot had echoed Thane's body froze in fear. His body acted on instinct and he pulled her into his arms without worrying about himself. He was ready to die that very second, and the only thing that flashed through his mind was Alex.
He shook his head and huffed lowly in irritation. All he did was his job; he saved her because he was payed to keep her from any harm. But why did he think about her, then, and not the contract? Why was she the last thing on his mind while he almost died because of her?
Faces of his lost family flashed before his eyes suddenly, and Thane felt a ghostly sadness cover him, like an invisible veil. His last thoughts should be of his Irikah and Kolyat, not some spoiled rich girl that was used to getting her way.
The anger was soon replaced by grief and loneliness. The rain reminded him so much of Kahje and the most tragic day of his life. He was there when the hanar lowered their dead bodies into the Encompassing, watched as his sons little body was swallowed by the raging ocean. He knew he'd never been a good father and husband, knew that he hadn't taken care of them as much as they'd deserved. The knowledge that he had abandoned them swallowed him whole; instead of being there for them, he became reckless. And they payed the ultimate price.
The chasm their death had left behind didn't disintegrate; it was constantly there, reminding him that he lost the two most precious persons in his life due to his own recklessness. Thane had always been an assassin, he wasn't good at anything else and he accepted his life the way it was. He hadn't lied to Alex when he said that he had been 'asleep' while he fulfilled contract after contract, without paying too much attention to his family.
His body took life and his conscience accepted that it was who he was. But none of it mattered after he'd seen the bodies of his dead wife and son sprawled on the floor. That had been the worst day in his life. After that, Thane became the cold-blooded killer, trapped in his own grief while he hunted and killed his families murderers. That was the first time he decided to kill someone on his own. Their blood was on his hands and conscience.
He never gave it too much thought or attention before, but now...
"You try to convince yourself with that philosophy because the fact that you killed all those people eats you alive."
Her words replayed in his mind in perfect clarity. It wasn't the truth; he had made his peace with the life's his employers had taken using his body, though he had the lives of the batarian's that murdered his family on his conscience. Their blood was on his hands. Thane glanced down at his opened palms and her words replayed in his mind again.
"It was you who took the shot, who pointed the weapon at them. How can you not be responsible for taking their lives?"
Thane stared at the tiny scars that adorned his palms and couldn't help but wonder if Alex was right. For the first time in his life he started to doubt his beliefs deeply seeded by his family. Was he so afraid to admit the truth that he hid himself behind the religious beliefs of his ancestors? But if she was right, did that mean that he was a monster, then? A cold-blooded killer? Thane didn't know what to think, and for the first time in his life he started to question his beliefs and what he was.
Unable to stand still in the same room anymore, he decided to learn the structure of the hut. If someone attacked them, he needed to know where to hide her until the danger passed. The first floor wasn't hard to memorize so he made his way up the stairs to the second floor. Thane could count a total of four rooms connected to the hallway in front of him. He slowly made his way towards the far end and allowed himself to look inside each room he would pass along the way.
The first room was the master bedroom, so he exited as fast as he'd entered. The second room was a huge bathroom, with black golden tiles on the floor and white walls. He took a good long look at the luxurious bathroom before he made his way towards the next room.
His heart thundered in his chest as he heard soft, almost inaudible murmur coming from behind the door, and he knew without a doubt that this was Alex's room. He brought his ear close to the door, holding his breath as he tried to comprehend whether she was asleep or not. Deciding to see for himself, he gently knocked on the door and waited for any kind of affirmation or dismissal. When nothing came, he decided boldly to open the door as silently as possible, and what he saw made him come to a halt.
He spotted Alex sprawled on the double bed, her head turning from side to side, the hand that was next to her head clenched into a tight fist. Her brows were furrowed and her expression twisted in pain.
Curious, he made his way towards her as silently as possible, not paying any attention to his newly discovered surroundings, and stopped by the edge of the bed, taking in the way she was sleeping restlessly. From the sounds she let out he guessed she was having a bad dream. Thane slowly and carefully took a seat next to her, never tearing his eyes from the unpleasant scene unfolding in front of him.
Swallowing hard, he considered his options and found that it would not be best to wake her, but the way she was murmuring things and how her brows furrowed together alarmed him, so he didn't think twice before he called out her name.
"Alex," he spoke softly, hoping to wake her, yet somehow hoping she would stay asleep. His nervousness grew when he realized that calling her wouldn't wake her. Gently placing his hand on her shoulder, he nudged her a little as he whispered soothing words in hope to wake her. "Alex, wake up. It's just a dream."
"Let me go... please..." she murmured as she roughly arched her back before falling down on the mattress and throwing her head from side to side. Thane never witnessed someone having such intense nightmare; she looked as if possessed by a demon and it made him wondering what she was dreaming about.
Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he decided to free her from her ordeal. He placed both his hands on her shoulders and nudged her a little harder when he spoke, "Alex, it's okay, you're safe."
Her eyes flew open with a loud gasp and Thane had no time to react; her fist came out of nowhere and connected with his cheek. The hit was sloppy and his cheek stung from the sudden attack but the pain was nothing he couldn't endure.
She breathed heavily as she tried to form an apology, but all that came out were broken words and ragged breaths. She hung her head and closed her eyes tightly as she took a few deep breaths. Thane ignored the burning pain on his cheek as he watched her trying to calm down.
"Are you alright?" he asked, and he tensed. The words left his mouth without him thinking them through and wished he could bite them back. He knew her long enough to know that she hated to be treated like a weak little girl, and he feared that asking for her well being was enough to anger her.
To his surprise, all she did was breath out a nervous, "Yeah," before she buried her face in her hand.
She stayed so for several moments, not moving and not saying anything, and Thane found himself staring at the vulnerable display of her while he tried to decide his next course of action. Should he comfort her, or should he let her come to terms on her own? He was in a dilemma, but before he could decide something the display of vulnerability was gone.
Letting out a sharp breath, she raised her head and pushed the sheet that covered her aside. Her mask was back up, hiding whatever fears and terrors she had dreamed about earlier as she moved away. She stopped by the windows, her back turned to him, and Thane nervously anticipated whatever would happen next as he steadily kept his eyes on her.
"You are an idiot," she spoke suddenly, her back still turned to him.
Confused, Thane slowly sat up and approached her a bit, letting the silence stretch to give him time to think about what she meant. When he was certain he knew why she thought of him as an idiot, he asked, "Because I saved your life?" and he knew he guessed right when she spun around to face him.
"How can you do that for someone you don't know?!" she wondered, irritated and confused. "How can you willingly throw your life away for a stranger?!"
"I gave your father my word," he reminded her stubbornly for what felt like the hundredth time, "That I would keep you safe."
She shook her head and tsked several times, before laughing lowly in disbelief and crossing her arms in front of her chest. "And you wonder why I call you an idiot?" She silenced for a moment, her gaze sharpening as well as his, "You almost died because of a promise you gave to an unknown man!"
"Your father hired me," Thane corrected, "it is my job to protect you until the rest of the kidnappers are captured."
"And my father is an even greater idiot!" she said, throwing her hands in the air irritated while ignoring his comment, "For trusting an assassin!"
Something snapped in Thane. He stepped forward and he didn't know what came over him when he grabbed her wrist. Her eyes widened and there was resistance, but there was nothing she could do against his grip.
Yanking her a bit towards him, she stilled completely, and Thane felt that this was the first time she was truly paying him attention. Keeping close eye contact with her, he reprimanded, "Are you even listening to yourself?!" She tried to tear his grip from her, but failed. Holding her strongly, he continued, "You keep repeating the same nonsense! Yet you don't want to admit that your father is right and that you need me to keep you safe!"
His heart beat so fast, she managed to get him all worked up in such a short span of time and now he felt dizzy. He didn't know if it was because of the amount of blood he'd lost, but he felt like his conscience would slip away. The strength left his legs for only a second and he lost his balance, stumbling back a little.
Thane feared it was because of Kepral's syndrome, that he would start another series of body wracking coughs any second. He did cough once, but thankfully it stopped and he took a deep breath.
The nearby wall served to steady himself and he leaned his back on the hard surface while he willed himself to calm down. Closing his eyes tightly and focusing on his breathing, Thane shut out his surroundings, even though he was well aware that she was watching him.
Once his heartbeat had calmed down, he slowly opened his eyes and they immediately fell on Alex. Her arms were crossed and her wide eyes were staring at him as though he was a freak, but he couldn't care even if she was afraid of him. That woman was impossible, stubborn, and sometimes too annoying for him to keep explaining himself to her.
Watching her closely, Thane had to get a few more things off his chest before he would leave her quarters. "I understand your father's fears and why he hired me to protect you. All I want is to help." Pushing himself carefully off of the wall, Thane straightened himself before adding, "I will leave if you truly wish so, and you will never see me again," and watched as her eyes widen slightly.
He waited for a few more seconds for her to say something, and when she remained silent, he decided it was time for him to leave the room. Thane brushed past her and towards the door.
And he didn't look back once.
####
The click of the door pulled her out of the trance like state she was in after Krios's statement. Her eyes remained on the wall he'd been leaned on as she replayed the words he'd said in her mind.
I will leave if you truly wish so...
Would he really leave if she didn't stop him? A strange feeling washed over her at the thought of him abandoning the contract. She could live her life as she did before Krios had accepted the contract. Wasn't that what she always wanted?
She rubbed her temple with her fingers and closed her eyes. This felt wrong, letting him leave the room like this without her apologizing. She knew she did a huge mistake by lashing out at him the way she did, but she was too stressed out because of the nightmare.
In her dream, she was tied to the chair in the basement of the old refinery while the eight men stared down at her hungrily. They all had covered faces, their laughter resonated in the eerie silence of the room while their demonic red eyes bore right through her. The room in her dream resembled the one she'd been trapped in in perfect detail. To dream about the most dirtiest and rotten place in the world almost brought her heart to a stop.
It was odd to relive the situation and shocking nonetheless, but she quickly reasoned with herself that it was just a nightmare. She was a full grown woman, thus she didn't need to be comforted as if she was a child just because she had a bad dream. Still, waking up after a nightmare and seeing that she wasn't alone was... she blinked her eyes as she searched for the right word.
Endearing.
She admitted heavy heartedly that she was happy to have someone close after she had such a terrible nightmare, and she also admitted that she'd been a complete ass to Krios. He did everything to keep her safe, even had caught a bullet for her just so he could fulfill his promise. Yes, he admitted he had been an assassin in his past and that he'd killed many people. But was that reason enough for her to mistrust him?
Natalie and Sarah were right; he did deserve a chance, at least until she decided whether he was worth trusting or not.
With a sharp exhale, she turned for the door and headed out in search for Krios. She hated to be the one apologizing, but she knew she screwed up, and if she wanted her father to be happy then Krios needed to stay. For now.
Quickly taking the stairs to the lower level, she immediately found her way to the living room, and was relieved to see Krios sitting on the armchair. His elbows were leaned on his knees, his fingers intertwined as he lifted his head in her direction. He'd found one of her father's plaid shirts and she bit back her need to rant about how he dared to take one without asking.
Letting out a long breath, she worked her jaw as she tried to start her apology. But the words wouldn't come out, so instead they stared silently at one another, each of them expecting the other to say something.
At one point though Thane looked away and stated, "I won't be a burden to you anymore. I will leave in the morning."
Her heart fell at his statement. He looked deadly serious, as though nothing would change his mind. Alex bit back a curse. My father is going to kill me.
"I understand why my father hired you."
Thane looked in her direction again, silently expecting her to continue, but again the words wouldn't leave her mouth. Instead, her mind tried to come up with an idea to stop him from abandoning the contract. Her father would never forgive her if Krios truly left in the morning.
He stared at her for a few more seconds before he looked away again. This time, Alex forced the words out of her mouth. "But it is unusual to me to rely on someone for help. I never needed someone to help me in any way."
Krios slowly stood up from the armchair, then turned towards her. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his focus directed solely on her. A dark shadow rested on his face, making him appear as an assassin. Alex swallowed hard at that thought.
His voice was low when he spoke, "Do you know how hard it is for your father to know that his only child lives in danger?" He slowly approached her as he continued to lecture her. "And yesterday... can you imagine what would have happened if I wasn't there? The horrors you would go through, the pain your parents would go through."
Alex couldn't look away, she was too enthralled by Krios and how serious he looked. Her heartbeat accelerated and she crossed her arms in front of her chest, standing her ground as he came closer and closer.
She swallowed hard but refused to break eye contact. The last thing she wanted was to show him she was unsettled with the way he was acting. When he stopped in front of her, she felt anxious and could barely breathe, but nonetheless she stood her ground.
"You should trust me," he said calmly, and Alex almost snorted.
"I should trust an assassin?" she mocked, not caring whether that would upset him or not.
His expression remained unchanged when he retorted, "The same 'assassin' fought off your enemies and saved you from being kidnapped again."
She stared deeply into his eyes, something making her unable to look away. There was something mesmerizing about him which made her at a loss of words.
Refusing to break eye contact, she huskily asked, "So, what, should I just close my eyes and trust you to catch me when I fall?"
Krios stared silently at her for a long moment. Erasing the space between them just a little, Alex could feel the fabric of his shirt grazing softly against her arms. She was aware of their proximity, aware that this was the closest she ever was to him. Her heart threatened to burst inside of her chest, adrenaline spread through her body as she anticipated whatever would happen next.
Without hesitation he stated, "I'll always be there to catch you. I promised you so."
Her heart skipped a beat and she blinked rapidly. There was nothing she could throw back at him. For the first time they met each other she was unable to argue back. Though unnerving, she couldn't seem to look away from him. Something about his eyes captivated her, and Alex lost track of her surroundings.
Her buzzing phone brought her out of the maze and she quickly took it out of her pocket, her eyes scanning the caller's ID.
"Who is it?" asked Krios. Alex swallowed the need to reprimand him for asking, knowing he'd asked for a reason.
Instead she murmured a low, "It's Sarah," before she turned her back to him and answered the call. "Hey Sarah..."
Her friend immediately bombarded her with questions and Alex took a long breath as she walked into the kitchen to have some privacy. This would be a long night, indeed.
