A/N: Thank you everyone for the kind words! Our little one was hiding its crotch during the first echo, so we have two more weeks before we know if it's a boy or a girl :)
College Life
Chapter 9
Kagome's hand was firmly grasped on her glass as she brought the rim to her lips, downing the golden liquid in one swing. She put it back down on the table relatively loudly before shaking her head softly while grimacing. This did not taste good. But she was going to drink it anyway because it was the only thing that could take away from the nervousness that had seeped through her body and taken hold of her heart. At first, everything had been well, everything had been fun. Then he had shown up. She was not an idiot, she knew it could not be an accident or a coincidence. He was here on purpose. What purpose? She had yet to figure that out. Regardless, his presence irked her. There were many other options for him and yet he decided to plague her and make her life a nightmare. Kouga had tried to talk about it, but she had dismissed him, telling him she was fine.
And she was really—she was.
So, she had ordered a few beers and she had decided that she would pretend he was not there. He had left her. How come he also got to make her life post-break up a living hell? No. She was not going to stand for that. She was not going to play into his little games. If he wanted to be an even bigger asshole, he could be an asshole all by himself. She was done.
And so, she had just finished her sixth beer.
As she finally swallowed the last of it, she allowed herself to turn her head to the side, making eye contact with Kouga. There was a glimmer of concern in his baby blues and she sighed. "I am fine."
She had said that a lot tonight, but each time she said it, it sounded like a lie. He thought it would be interesting for that little twat to show up, but he did not think this was the route Kagome was going to take. Although he was pleased that she had settled on ignoring him, but he was just not quite sure how well it was working. If she was drinking because of him, was she really ignoring him? "I didn't say nothing," he finally defended with a smile. "I'm just surprised how quickly a tiny thing like yourself can gulp down alcohol." He was going to have to keep an eye on her. He was also starting to think that he might be a bad influence on her. Perhaps it was time for him to keep her away from alcohol. Did she even drink before hanging out with him? Although—she had kissed him while she was drunk the night they met so…
She rolled her eyes. "It's not that much." It was not. So, her face was a little warm and her lips felt a little weird. Still, it was fine. "Look!" To prove her point, she shook her head left and right … which turned out to be a bad idea. "Okay, maybe that was not a good one."
Kouga could not help the laughter that bubbled out of his chest. "Yeah, you're fine." He pushed the empty glass away from her. "If ya don't slow down, I'm takin' ya home."
"I am not going home."
"Why not?"
"Because then he wins. And he doesn't get to win, because I'm over him. I want my life back." Now she sounded like Sango. Was that not what her best friend had told her when she had dragged her to that party? The party where she had kissed Kouga? She hid away for a whole year. She was done doing it. He was not making any efforts to make her life any easier. He did not care, and it was time she started doing the same. "I'm a free woman."
"I wouldn't say free. You did lose that bet," he replied with a wink.
"Ar, ar," she faked laughed. Although… "You're my boyfriend, right?"
He should like where this was going, but he did not. All he managed to do was offer her a nod. Not really, not like he would want to be but…
"You said it was for me, to make him jealous, right?"
He nodded again.
"Well, be my boyfriend. Maybe that'll teach him to be a creepy stalker."
All the right words, but completely the wrong context. He had a lot of fun teasing her about the whole boyfriend thing, and he had told her more than once that she should come out of her shell. However, he remained unconvinced that slightly tipsy Kagome should be making those calls. He liked her but he was not an asshole. He was not going to take advantage of a girl whose decision-making capacities were … less than excellent. "Kagome—I don't think…"
Suddenly, her cheeks turned a bright red colour and before she could stop herself, she smacked him directly on the chest. "I didn't mean like that—pervert." She shook her head. "I meant like an arm around my shoulder."
"Oh."
Well—that was not—taking advantage of anything. He could do that. "Anything for my woman," he said, trying to smoothly recover from the little hiccups. He let his arm snake around her, his hand carelessly resting on her shoulder. "Like this ma'am?"
"Yes."
His hand felt like fire as it touched her, even though it was not a direct skin contact. What in the world was she doing? She did not know. She was not this petty, but that was how Inuyasha made her feel. He made her feel petty. She was trying to move on with her life, she was trying to be more than she was and there he was; lurking at every corner, waiting to ruin her life as though he had never loved her. How could he do this to her? He had already broken her heart and shattered their friendship. Could he not at least let her be happy?
"Kagome?"
"Hm?"
"Ya sure you okay?" He did not want to do anything that might make her uncomfortable. This he was okay doing because it did not involve anything but—more than that? He was not willing to go there. He did not want her to hate him the next morning.
"Yup." She sighed. "You know what, I think I need the bathroom." She put her hands down on the table to help herself up while Kouga's arm fell into emptiness. For the first time, she could feel a slight spinning of her head. Regardless, she managed to make it to her feet without too much of a struggle.
Unfortunately for her, the struggle happened once she was near the bathroom's door.
"So, you let the wolf put his hands all over you."
That voice was enough to freeze her blood. She inhaled deeply before she managed to turn her head to the side, eyes locking with Inuyasha's. He was staring at her with his arms crossed in front of his chest, disapproval written all over his face. He was not going to go see her. He was going to stay away—but then … she had gotten up, she had walked away from that idiot and his feet had guided him straight to her.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm pretty sure you never let me be all over you like that." That fucking wolf had been trying to provoke him from the start. He had stared him down while pawing at Kagome and now he was doing it at the bar. That cocky bastard was bad news and Inuyasha knew no good could come of this. It was why he had warned him to stay away but apparently that bastard was nothing more than a fucking idiot and he had not gotten the message. How could she not see that he just wanted to use her and drop her?
Kagome could feel the blood boiling with each word he spoke. Who did he think he was? "What I do and who I do it with doesn't concern you." He had a new girlfriend and she was not all up in his face about it. "Guy who said he wanted to be alone." Alright, maybe she was a little. But that was his fault. He was the one who told her he did not want to be tied down. And then he turned around and did exactly that. "At least Kouga is honest with me."
"Honest?" He scoffed. "Did he tell you that all he wanted was to get in your pants?"
"Maybe he did."
"And you're okay with that."
"Yeah, I am."
"So you're going to let him just fuck you and walk away."
"He hasn't walked away yet."
This was getting out of control. She was talking a lot more than she should and she was saying a lot of words that she would not be able to take back. There was something about Inuyasha that made her throw reason out of the window. He broke her heart, he stalked her and now he had the audacity to be all in her face about being with someone else? What else was she supposed to do?
"You fucked him?"
"So what if I did?"
Inuyasha's amber orbs widened to a size she did not think was possible. She was kidding—she could not possibly be that stupid that she had already given it up to that bastard. They had been together for years and she never gave it up. What, a cocky smile was all she needed? "I didn't think you were the type of girl who opened her legs up for anyone who gave you a shred of attention."
It happened before she could stop herself. She lifted her hand and slapped. It echoed through the bar, it echoed through the music and it forced a lot of eyes to gaze at them. Kouga had been able to hear the whole conversation, but he had done his best to allow her some privacy. He was no longer able to do that and it was not just because she slapped him. It was because of what he dared to say about Kagome. Before any of his pack members were able to pull him back down, he marched himself in direction of Kagome and Inuyasha. It only took him a few strides before he inserted him between the two of them.
"You got a lot of nerve muttface," he said as he leaned forward, his jaw clenched.
"This ain't about you."
"Like hell it ain't about me. I've been waiting for a reason to kick your ass." And he had delivered it on a silver platter.
"Keh," Inuyasha said while holding back a laughter. "Like you and your shitty legs could kick anyone's ass."
And now he had struck another sensitive cord. He could feel his fingers fisting at his side while he itched to introduce Inuyasha to his fist. However, before the meeting could take place, he felt a soft hand squeezing his biceps; hers.
"Kouga—Kouga I wanna go home."
She could feel the tears burning her eyes and she did not know if it was the emotions, the slap, the words or all of it together. All she knew was that now, everyone was staring at them and she did not want to be here. Somehow, Inuyasha was able to create the mess and take no credit for it. He was the one who got involved when it had nothing to do with him. He was the one who provoked her. But she was the one who made a scene. Even though he deserved it. She also did not want Kouga to get dragged into this. She had seen his legs and although she did not doubt his strength and power, she did not want him to be even more injured because of her. He already missed running and she did not want to slow down his recovery.
"Please," she begged when he did not bulge. "Let's go home."
He knew their homes were not together. He knew the words she told Inuyasha were not true, but he let his hands relax at his side. "Don't come near her again," he threatened as he let himself pull away from the hanyou. Kagome's tiny hand wrapped around his wrist as she guided him away. He could smell the tears burning at her eyes and it only made his rage grew.
He would find a way to pummel that fucking dog to the ground.
-C-
Guilt.
It was what had gotten her here. At their door.
After the bar incident, Kagome had been a little quiet. It had both been due to shame and guilt over the whole thing that had transpired. How else had she been supposed to feel? She had not even told Sango what had happened. Instead, she had brushed it off and focused on school. Something she had been neglecting lately and with the finals rearing their ugly heads, she knew she had to be a better student. Obviously, Kouga had texted her but her replies had been minimal. She had even blown off two of their studying sessions. Something he had not taken lightly. But she knew she could not look at him after what had happened. She had felt so ashamed. Plus, she had put him in a situation he should not have been in. He had barely let her go after dropping her off that night.
But—now here she was.
The guys had texted her, once, then twice.
It was about a party and she had not been the least bit interested. But then, they had to dig the knife in. The party was for Kouga's birthday! She had not even known it was his birthday. She did feel bad about ignoring him but—she decided that she would feel worse if she blew him off on his birthday. After all he had not done anything wrong. He had even come to her defence. Plus, this was sort of the best way to see him again. Everyone would be around him, he would be the centre of attention and that would allow her to dismiss and dodge all the questions that she wanted to avoid. Despite her confidence, she had been staring at the door for five minutes, unable to go in.
She could hear the music coming through the door, the people laughing and drinking … at least she knew he would not be there. And yet, she could not find the strength to walk through that door. Maybe she should not have come. Maybe seeing her and being all weird was going to completely ruin his birthday and … what would she even say to him? Sorry you almost got into a fight with my ex because I told him we had sex? Gah! Could things be anymore awkward than that? Could she even recover from this? A sigh shook her whole body as her shoulders dropped and for a second, she considered walking away…
But the door opened.
"Hey Sis! You made it."
He was smiling at her, but something deep inside was telling her that he knew she had been standing there for quite a bit. Had he known that she was about to walk away? "Sorry, I didn't—I didn't bring a gift?"
He laughed. "Don't worry, it's not that kind of party." Hakkaku really did not mean to rush her or pressure her into anything. He had even ignored the fact that she had been staring at their door forever. However, once he felt her anxiety level rise through the roof, he had decided to play it safe. He did not want her to walk away. Of course, just in case that happened, they had not told Kouga she was coming. They had been able to see that he was miserable without her around and they did not want to give him false hope. Luckily, Kagome was a good person and she did not have it in her to disappoint anyone and so, there she was. "Wanna come in?"
He was offering her an out and she could take it but—then she would feel like a giant jerk. "Yup," she said through tight lips.
And that was when she saw the size of the party. When they said party, they were not kidding. Apparently, when the alpha was concerned, no expense was spared to spend his birthday. There were kegs in every corner, different drinking and party games laid out across the entire living room and there were more balloons and decorations than she could count. Also, there was enough food to feed a small country. They did not mess around. "Wow," was all she could say.
"Yeah," Hakkaku began as he scratched the back of his head. "Kouga is a good leader, so, we like to give back on his birthday." This year, the mission had been all about getting Kagome to show up and it had worked. "How about we go see the birthday boy?"
He was actually quite excited to deliver the best birthday gift ever. He also could not wait for Kouga to stop being pouty about this. Also, it might lessen all the rage he had towards Inuyasha. He had not been a fun person to be around lately and Hakkaku hoped that Kagome's presence would calm him a bit.
Was there any way she could say no? Not really. She was already here. She had to own up to her shame and help him celebrate his birthday. Hopefully, he would not be disappointed to see her here. It did not seem that he was aware of her presence. They had not told him she was coming. If they had, he would have been the one to drag her inside, not Hakkaku. This would be interesting. "Yup."
Hakkaku beamed a smile as he nodded. "Follow me."
She swallowed hard as she stepped forward, following behind him. She tried to keep a safe distance, trying to give her some time to react before Kouga had a chance to spot her. Fortunately for her, she saw Kouga while he was distracted. He was surrounded by people and all of them had a shoot glass in front of them—of course. If it were not for the fact that alcohol apparently got her in trouble, she could use a few shooters right about now—just to take the edge off. When had she turned into a drinking person anyway?
"Here he is," Ginta said as he gestured. He could announce her arrival but one quick look at Kagome's expression let him know that it was best if Kagome handled this one on her own. For now.
"Thanks," she managed to say as she began clasping her hands in front of her. What was she supposed to say? Happy birthday? Oh by the way, sorry I have been ditching you and ignoring you. Nothing personal though, just a small personal breakdown. Nope, that did not seem quite right. She let out a long breath, emptying out her lungs as though it would give her some sort of courage. She figured that she could not chicken out or walk away. Either she would be outed or Kouga would finally realize she was there.
It was now or never.
She opted for a gesture. She raised a shake hand and gathered the courage to tap on his shoulder with her index finger. At first she almost thought that he did not feel it. But, when he turned around, she was proven wrong. His first expression was one of shock before he broke into a smile. What, how had he not even felt her get here? And she was actually here? He had been getting quite anxious with the way she had been dodging him and avoiding him. He initially began to think it was because he was willing to kick Inuyasha's ass, but after thinking it through it made no sense. Why would that make her so angry? It had to be something else. However, he had not been able to figure out what that something else was…
"I heard it was your birthday?" she said as the corner of her mouth twitched. "Happy birthday!"
His grin grew in size before he threw his arms around her. "Thanks. I thought it was a little … too cocky to fish for birthday wishes." If they had been talking, he would have told her about it…
"Cat's out of the bag."
"Hey Kouga! If you don't get back into the game, you're gonna lose…" Both Kouga and Kagome turned their heads to look at the dark-haired boy who had spoken. His fingers were wrapped around his shooter glass as he stared with open eyes. "You wouldn't wanna have to do a dare."
Nope, now was not the time, not with Kagome around. The dare had a tendency to go out of hand and he wanted to avoid making a scene in front of her. "Come on, you can cut a guy some slack on his birthday."
"It'll count as your birthday gift though," he chuckled. "What about you?" he said as he nodded in Kagome's direction. "Wanna play?"
"I don't think so," Kouga answered.
"Didn't ask ya."
"What is it?" Kagome asked as she looked around.
Kouga sighed as he palmed the back of his neck. "We ask questions, if ya don't wanna answer you gotta drink everyone's shooter glass and do a dare. Trust me, ya don't wanna do the dares." He did not feel like having them dare her to run through a room naked or something stupid. But he also did not want them to ask her uncomfortable questions. "It's not fun. You wouldn't wanna play. Let's—go somewhere else."
"Hey, hey, if you leave halfway through you're gonna get a big dare."
"Come on man."
"Those are the rules."
"I'll play."
She felt bad; he had been enjoying himself before her arrival and now he only wanted to leave before the game was over because he wanted to make her comfortable. He had not done anything wrong per se, and it was his birthday. All she had to do was make sure she answered the questions. Since her sexual past was basically void, she did not fear the questions; there was nothing embarrassing she could reveal. How bad could it be? She had never done anything bad.
"Kagome, no."
"It's fine." She moved forward, grabbing the edge of the table. "Let's do this."
"I like her," the boy said as he put a full-shooter glass in front of her.
Kouga shot him a glare, letting him know that he better play nice or he would regret it later. But it felt like it was ignored.
"Alright, we'll start with the new girl." Kagome gulped. She looked like a good girl. He assumed her pre-college life was not very interesting. She was one of those girls who discovered themselves in college. Also, it seemed that Kouga had a special interest in her. He could mess with his friend a little. "Who was the owner of the first penis you've ever seen?"
Oh God. She pinched her lips together until they turned white, her eyes wide open. Alright, she had clearly been very wrong. Oh God. Could she melt? Could she disappear? Maybe if she made a run for it and never returned again? That could work … right? Oh my God. She wanted to duck under the table. So she either had to embarrass herself or get smash drunk and do a dare she would never be able to do? She did not like her option. Stupid Kagome.
Kouga could not help but have a quirked eyebrow. He pretty much expected the answer to be Inuyasha. He did not know why that shamed her so much. Maybe she did not want people to know they were together. It was not like Inuyasha had a bad reputation or anything…
Fuck. She was going to have to say it. Oh God. Before she could think twice about it, she lifted the shooter and downed the whole thing.
"That's … not quite the game. Are you saying you're not gonna answer?"
She put the glass down. "Kouga," she croaked out.
That did not help ease the confusion. "Kouga's turn? Nope, you gotta do yours first."
He was going to drag this out, wasn't he? Because her shame was not enough. She had to be humiliated as well. "No." She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Kouga. That's the answer."
"Kouga's the first dude you've seen naked?" The guy laughed out loud. "I didn't know you two were fucking."
He—wait. What? No. That was—was she lying? He could not smell deceit on her. It did not make sense. He could not be the first penis she had ever seen. That made no sense. "No, it's Inuyasha."
"No, it's not," she gritted. Why, why could no one drop this? Did this really need to be dragged on?
"But you two—"
"We never had sex."
"You two are fucking or not?"
"No, we're not," Kouga barked back. He did not need rumours to be started and he did not need her to have a fake reputation. He refocused his attention on Kagome. "I don't understand."
"She's a virgin," someone volunteered.
And that was the moment that Kagome decided it was a flight or fight moment, and she was opting for the flight. Before Kouga could register the information, Kagome let go of her glass and ran away from the group. She wanted somewhere to hide—she simply did not know where. She was not ashamed of her virginity but—she did not need everyone looking at her like that.
"Fuck. You're a fucking moron," Kouga said before letting go of his own glass so that he could run after Kagome. He could hear them talking behind him, probably saying something about a bet, but he chose to tune it all out; it was not his priority right now.
She had just come back to his place after avoiding him and this place. The goal was not to make her run away again… He knew, he knew that playing this game meant nothing but bad news. He should have fought her harder. It did not take him long to spot her; she was heading to the stairs. Of course, the entire place was crowded which meant she had to fight her way through a crowd a people. It would slow her down enough that he might be able to catch her. He did not care as he walked through the crowd, elbowing people, pushing them, trying to keep track of the black ponytail he was following. Unfortunately for him, with all the arms in the air, and the swaying of the people, she did manage to blend in. It was also hard to pick up her scent when everyone was rubbing on him with each motion he did.
Fortunately, if she was heading upstairs, he could only think of one place she could be. He hopped the stairs two steps at a time, rushing to his own bedroom. It sounded quiet when he arrived in front of the door but he could now feel her better than when she was hiding in the crowd. He slowly wrapped his fingers around the cold metal handle and turned it in a way that it would make no sound. He almost expected her to have her face hidden in his bed, but instead, she was simply sitting on it. The moment he walked in, she tilted her head upwards and their eyes met.
"Sorry," she grumbled. What was the point of running away if he followed her? Then again, except for not believing her, he had not made fun of her. He had not put her on the spot either. Although, it was his lack of understanding that had led to the big pubic revealed. "I feel like an idiot."
"I'm the idiot," he hurried to say. "I shoulda kept my mouth shut—I just—I really thought…" He thought they had sex. He thought she had been with him for years and he had been maybe her first… But he was an idiot. He simply did not imagine that a girl like Kagome, so beautiful, so perfect was—untouched.
"It's fine. It's kinda normal to think that we—that I wouldn't be … but I am," she said as she clapped her hands together. This is not the kind of conversation she thought she would be having with him but here it was.
She loved him and she was beautiful. He did not think their relationship had stayed at the first level. "Sorry, it just felt a little unbelievable. I mean have you seen you?"
Kagome had to chuckle at the comment. "He didn't really—we didn't go to his house much and well my family lives on a shrine. It's mom, Grandpa, me … my little brother. It didn't give us much privacy." Her mother was not the strictest but it was not as though she gave them the free reins to do as they pleased. Plus, someone was constantly home. "That's why I thought once we went to college…" But then…
"He left," he finished for her.
"Yup. To be alone," she said as she made quotation marks in the air with her fingers as she uttered the word alone. "And now here we are." A whole year later and she pretty much felt like she was right where she started.
"Well, you know, as your boyfriend, I can help with that issue." He winked. He could tell that memories of Inuyasha were never good for her. If he could at least stir the conversation away, it would be a win.
She chuckled. "Yeah, I'll pass. I'm good."
"Can't blame a man for trying." He paused. "On his birthday."
She ran her fingers through her hair, the laughter rumbling her chest. "Did you just try to use your birthday as an excuse to have sex?"
"Again," he said as he leaned into her. "Can't blame a man for trying."
"As your birthday gift, I'll let it slide."
"Oh I'm getting a birthday gift?" he said, faking surprise. "In that case, don't let it slide, I'll ask for something else."
"Knowing you, I'm not sure I'm letting you ask for anything."
He twisted his mouth, pretending to think. "Not even a kiss for the birthday boy?"
She knew he was teasing and she knew how much he loved to get a reaction out of her. Maybe she could fool him. "Sure."
"W—"
But before he could speak, he felt her closing in. He was about to close his eyes when he realized that his mouth was not her target. Instead, she pressed her moist lips to his cheek?
"Happy birthday," she said with a smile as she pulled away. "What, all you said was a kiss. That was a kiss."
He pulled the pillow from behind his back and carelessly threw it at her. "Smarty pants." He had to say, he was a little disappointed but she had made physical contact with him without blushing or hesitating. He would take what he could get.
"Talking about birthdays, shouldn't you head back to your party?" He had torn himself away from his own birthday party to come check up on her; it was a good way to make her feel crappy. It was not his fault that she was a blushing virgin—and that from now on, the entire world knew about it.
"Nah," he said as he settled in beside her in the bed. "It's always a little over the top. I'd rather hide out here." He was not about to leave while Kagome was in his bedroom and he did not want to drag her back out there. "Also, I mean—we need to talk. Now that I know that my god like body is the first one you've seen… I feel like I should set the record straight."
"Set the record straight?" she asked with a corked eyebrow.
"Yeah, I mean—now you will have expectations and I wouldn't want them poor bastards out there to disappoint you."
She had a feeling she knew where this was going, but she let him talk regardless.
"You see, nothing about me is average. This is," he said, nearly pointing between his legs. "Well, above average. So don't go thinking everyone is walking around with one of those between their legs."
She meant to keep a straight face and she truly, truly tried, but her laughter got the best of her as it came out rumbling out of her chest. She folded in two, laughing louder and louder by the second.
"You know, laughing. Not exactly a reaction a guy likes when he's talking about his junk."
She took a few more seconds to regain her self-control before she straightened herself once more. "But Kouga, with a well above average package, why are you so worried?"
"See, this is what I get for trying to help."
"No, you're right. It was mean of me. Thank you for setting me straight," she said through tight lips.
"I could drag you back downstairs you know…"
"I'm serious!"
He shook his head, clearly not believing her, and she chuckled once more. After the whole Inuyasha stalking them mess, and this—her chest finally felt lighter. Somehow, she also felt freer. There was no hidden truths and for the first time, she had shut up Inuyasha's lousy trap. She had stood up to him and she had stood up for herself. It felt good.
Maybe she could do this.
-C-
