No.. no! Say nothing, just read!
Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece.
"Wow, you have a really red nose!"
Eight year old Buggy looked over to his left side, and watched with an insulted and agitated face how a boy his aged stared at him with dazzling eyes.
"I don't want to hear that from you, you idiot red-head!" Buggy retorted and turned his head the other way, hoping that the other boy would feel angry and leave.
The boy didn't get the hint. he didn't even seem offended. Instead, he grinned like a maniac and sat down in the seat beside Buggy. The blue-haired boy turned back towards the intruder, before he looked around in his home classroom. It was their first day of school after the summer break, and he was usually left alone. It fit him perfectly. Now it seemed like the new kid would bother him, just like other had done before him.
"You're funny!" the kid said with a laugh and reached out his hand. "I'm Shanks. Me and my mom moved here a few weeks ago, so I'm new. Let's be friends!"
Buggy raised a skeptical eyebrow towards Shank's outreached hand. He really didn't see why the new kid would willingly hand around the least popular kid in the class. He snorted and turned away, ignoring Shanks hand. He would not fall for that.
"I don't need you as a friend", Buggy stated firmly. "Besides, you don't start with insulting someone who you want as a friend, idiot!"
Shanks grinned again and leaned forward, resting his arms on the bench.
"It wasn't an insult, it was just the truth! Your nose is red, and it's awesome!"
Buggy looked at Shanks as if he had grown a second head, but he didn't get a chance to answer back, because at that time, the teacher walked in and started the first lesson of the semester.
9.19
Doflamingo settled down in a dark corner of his hideout. His breathing was even, but still a little bit too loud for his liking, but there was no more time to dwell on that. It was showtime.
He could hear the soft, muffled sound of keys jingling for a second, before they were put into the keyhole and unlocked the door. Light streamed inside the dark apartment from the outside, showing a big dark silhouette in the doorway. The silhouette started to move, and heavy steps echoed in the empty space. A big and strong arm reached out, slowly searching for the light switch with tender fingertips. When the lamp was turned on and light flooded inside the small apartment, Doflamingo's tinted eyes met Bartholomew Kuma's own covered one's.
"Yo, teddy bear. How you doing?!"
Kuma stopped in the doorway, surprise showing in his usual stoic and calm face. He wasn't surprise by Doflamingo visiting. The blonde came and went as he pleased at all times. Neither was he surprised that Doflamingo had gotten inside his apartment. The blonde had a thing for breaking in as he pleased as well. However, the blonde had an unusually cheery mood, which disturbed Kuma just a tiny bit.
"Hello Doflamingo. I'm all well. How about you? You seem to be exaggeratingly happy today."
"Well... I guess you could say I am", Doflamingo said, happy grin never fading from his handsome face.
Somehow, Doflamingo's good mood made Kuma feel wary. He knew exactly why the blonde was on cloud nine, and it was the person that gave the blonde these feelings that made Kuma worried. He hadn't known Crocodile for long, but Rouge had, and he had known Rouge for quite some time.
"Doflamingo-" Kuma started, but was interrupted by Doflamingo's raised hand.
"No, Kuma", the blonde said, eyes hardening just a little bit. "I know you have warned me about him, but seriously, everything is going okay. I'm not stupid enough to believe that we are a happy fairytale ending, but the pace we have is good."
"You are young and naive, Doffy", Kuma said in a said voice. "You know nothing of his past. He isn't as nice as you think. I don't know what happened, but Rouge has told me that something did happened in his past, that disturbed him deeply on a emotional level. You don't know him."
Doflamingo sat back down, silent and in deep thought. Kuma sighed and walked into his apartment. He left his shoulder bag on a chair in the kitchen before he went to the refrigerator to put away the groceries he had with him in a plastic bag.
For about ten minutes he walked around in the kitchen before Doflamingo spoke again, voice quiet and serious.
"I know life isn't all red roses and sparkling wine, but I intend to keep this relationship going as long as I can. We both know I can be a quite persistent man."
Flashing images of a squirming tanned body underneath him. Panting breaths and a creaking bedpost slamming against a thin apartment wall. Blue deformed eyes, clouded with lust, begging for closure. Kuma shook his head and took a deep, quick breath.
"Yes, I do know that."
"I showed him my eyes Kuma", Doflamingo said and walked over to his long-term friend. "I showed him the ugliest part of me, and he didn't show any sign of hating it... or me."
Kuma shook his head again. Doflamingo and Crocodile had both disturbing past, but in different ways if Rouge's words were to be trusted.
"Doffy, I know you better than anyone, and your defected eyes are definitely not the ugliest part of you."
A huge grin spread over the blonde's face and he rose his head to ruffle the lack curls.
"You know me so well Kuma! Looks like both I and the reptile man has things hidden from each other", Doflamingo said, and looked at his phone, watching the digital time. "I gotta leave. I have a business to run after all."
Kuma watched the blonde walk over to the front door, grabbing his coat.
"Doflamingo", Kuma said and caught the blonde's attention, making him turn. "when... if things doesn't go the way you've planned, I will be right here ."
Doflamingo chuckled and shook his head. He opened the door and quickly left. Kuma did not have a good feeling about this. Doflamingo did, for once, not know what he was getting himself into.
The familiar ping from the electrical doors opening got Crocodile's attention, and the young CEO quickly got into the elevator. When the doors had closed, and he was alone, he let out a heavy sigh. Three meetings in one morning. His schedule was full, to say the least. However, he was a busy man and used to these kind of days, once in a while. The reason for his depressed mood was not the stressful day. His thoughts filled with a blonde mop of hair, purple glasses and a confident smirk. Crocodile shook his head violently. The doors pinged again, and he stormed out into the lobby and put of the door. The reason for his foul mood was certainly not because of that damn-birdbrain. Just because Doflamingo hadn't been in touch the last eleven days didn't mean Crocodile would care. He didn't care, not the least.
The raven went out on the street he decided to walk to the subway station. It was just a three minutes walk from there, and since he had these meetings in the more "shady"-places of the city, he had chosen to leave his private drive. There was no idea to draw unwanted attention to himself.
It wasn't as if this was a bad neighborhood. It could be just like any business area, just that the business running here were of a more ...questionable... nature.
Crocodile's business weren't illegal in any ways, but for now he was just trying to establish a safe ground and a name for himself. When he got where he wanted, he would use any means necessary to get even further. But before that, there was much honest work to be done.
He turned left on the third street, and stopped dead in his track. Just further down the street, he could see a mop of blonde hair and a big furry pink coat standing in the corner to a small alleyway, hiding in the shadows. He had his back to the raven, and Crocodile could feel his heartbeat quicken. The young CEO seemed to have stopped functioning. He just stood there, face expressionless and eyes only focusing in the blonde locks, slowly swaying in the soft breeze.
Then a second person approached the blonde, and they grasped each other's hand in a familiar handshake. The other male seemed to be around the same age as Doflamingo, but since the blonde looked older than he actually was, the other male probably was a few years older. The man was tall and lean, but still with a muscular build. His hair was dark, and he head weird, bolt-shaped sideburns, and it looked like he had some kind of vegetable stuck in his cheek. Was it tomato? He also wore sunglasses. The two males started to move, and they disappeared behind the corner, into an alley. Crocodile mentally shook himself out of his daze, and instead of leaving for the subway, he quickly approached the corner where he had last seen the two males.
When he arrived at the corner, he quickly and silently pressed himself against the wall and slowly stepped closer to be able to peak slightly into the alley. The two males were still there, and to Crocodile's luck they stood close enough for the raven to hear their conversation without having to step into the alley himself.
"I have arranged for the east group to split into teams of four. That way their reach will grow and establish a connection point easier."
"That's good", Crocodile could hear Doflamingo say when the other male had given his report. "If we do it the same way as we did with the south group, it would take too much time and we would lose our footing."
The discussion continued about business, and Crocodile got more and more agitated. Why had he gotten himself into this situation? He had no interest in listening to this conversation. His legs just hadn't listened to him, and now he got more and more nervous for every minute. How would he get out of this situation?
"The others have noticed how you've been a little absent these days Doffy", the other man said, and Crocodile almost let out a snort of laughter at the ridiculous nickname. "I know you have been focusing to get into Gold Roger's group, but ever since you got accepted, you focus have slipped from time to time."
Crocodile frowned. Was Doflamingo not a friend of Roger's youngest followers from the beginning? Why would he need to get into their group?
"What are you getting at, Vergo?" Doflamingo asked suspiciously.
"You are seeing someone, I can tell that at least. You should be careful to let anyone else in your group notice too. I'm not sure they would be pleased to see you concentration slip from your duties. This is a tough business after all."
Crocodile felt his heart take a slight skip in his chest, and he cursed himself for it. This meant nothing, and he couldn't care less of what the blonde thought. It was his problem, not Crocodile's. So why did he feel a tingly feeling in his stomach? Stupid body for not obeying his brain and rational thoughts.
A deep chuckle was heard in the alley, echoing around the high stone walls, and it made Crocodile shiver from something primal deep inside him.
"Please Vergo", Doflamingo said with delight in his voice. "Of course I'm seeing someone. Everybody needs something that let you lose. You have your training, and I have fuck buddies."
"Is it only that, then?" Vergo asked, not sounding convinced. "It's not impossible for you to have someone steady."
Crocodile couldn't see the blonde's reaction, but he could hear the pink feather coat ruffling, something that Crocodile had learned the blonde did when he was uncomfortable.
"That was a long time ago, Vergo, and you know I wouldn't make that mistake again. I realize that works come first. It always comes first. I just haven't gotten laid in a while, that's all. Blue balls are just getting to my head."
"That is also disadvantage, Doffy", Vergo scolded, but he sounded much more reassured now.
They continued taking and laughing, probably switching subject to something less serious than business. But Crocodile could hear none of that. His body had turned numb and his mind was blank. Doflamingo's words had thrown him into a flashback, into those horrible memories he thought he had started to forget.
He was in the age of four when his parents had started ignoring each other as partners in love, and from then onwards it was strictly business, if even that. The parties that were at any given time in the week, making him loose contact with his normal reality. His mother had started brining unknown men home without caring if anyone in the house noticed, and his father treated him as someone else's child. Crocodile never knew love, not from parents nor between partners.
When he came out at the age of fifteen, his father had blamed the "absurd behavior" on his mother and all her men whores. To some extent Crocodile agreed, but that was not the point now.
'Work comes first. It always comes first.'
The words echoed inside Crocodile's head like a war alarm, making him feel nauseous. He had been eight when his father had explained to him, that there was nothing more important than your work, and that everything else only was distractions. Crocodile had been raised with that belief, and even if Rouge had tried to convince him otherwise, he had had problems understanding and grasping the feelings she always preached about. It looked like Rouge was the only one who knew those feelings, because Doflamingo didn't seem to know them either, at least not towards him. Doflamingo was just like his father.
Crocodile shivered again, suddenly feeling very cold and uneasy. The tingly feelings in his stomach had stopped, and instead it felt as if his heart had slipped of its place inside his chest, and was now resting in the pit of his stomach. It was a strange feeling. He felt like everything had been stuffed and turned ice cold in his stomach, and at the same time he felt hollow.
He never noticed that he had started to move, but one way or another, he ended up in his apartment, sitting in his couch with a glass of scotch in front of him. His brain started to catch up with his body when he registered the strong smell, and the burning sensation inside his mouth and down throat.
He put down the glass carefully and leaned against the couch, tipping his head backwards until it was resting on the top of the couch. Cold eyes stared into the dull ceiling. After what felt like hours of silence, a slight chuckle escaped his lips, and soon full laughter bubbled up from inside him. His maniac cackle bounced against the walls in his apartment, and it took a good few minutes until he started to calm down.
He really was an idiot. After years and years of lectures about false feelings and a horrible childhood to back it up with, he still let himself get this way in just a few months.
"At least it seems I noticed in time", he mumbled to himself and reached for his glass again.
Doflamingo was actually whistling when he walked down the street to the familiar apartment complex where Crocodile was living. His business had gone better than he had expected, and he had even convinced Vergo that there was nothing going on between him and Crocodile. His close friend had been very protective of him since he had his bad break up with Kuma. Granted, he had shut himself down for two whole weeks, and business had almost been destroyed. But Doflamingo knew this wasn't the same. He didn't know where this would go, but he was more experienced now, and he had never been someone to let fear stop him.
He gave the portiere a quick nod when he walked inside the building, before he took the elevator up to Crocodile's floor. He fished up the keys from his pocket when he reached the door, but as soon as he stepped inside, something felt off. It was very dark inside, and normally Doflamingo would have thought the raven-haired male was at his office, but his usual shoes were neatly tucked away in the corner, and there was also a distinct smell of Crocodile's favorite drink in the apartment.
He walked with quiet steps toward the open space that was the living room, kitchen and dining room. Of course Crocodile was home. Sitting on his couch with a glass of Scottish whiskey by his side, like usual. Wait, not like usual, because Crocodile always read something when he was drinking alone, be it documents from school, reports from work or just a book for personal interest. This evening, he just sat there, staring into the opposite wall.
"Rough day at work?" Doflamingo said as he walked down the two steps to the living room floor and approached the couch.
e stopped quickly when Crocodile turned his head slightly and threw him a serious glare. He watched with surprise as the young CEO stood up and took his half full glass and walked to the kitchen, pointedly ignoring the blonde.
"Must have been a horrible day then", Doflamingo said jokingly, trying to do something about the horrible atmosphere in the room, as he followed Crocodile.
"Something like that", Crocodile finally answered in a hollow voice.
Doflamingo tilted his head in slight concern. Crocodile was acting very out of character. Most of the time, he was very annoyed with Doflamingo visiting, and he couldn't point this out enough, but the blonde had learned how to handle it and win him over. This was a side he hadn't met before, and he hoped he wouldn't see it too often.
"Something's bothering you, reptile man."
It wasn't a question, but a statement, and something to pressure Crocodile into explain more. When no words came, Doflamingo walked up to the dark-haired male and reached out for his shoulder, gently squeezing it. Something quickly set fire inside Crocodile, and he made a quick turn and pushed the hand away, glaring at a surprised Doflamingo with fire in his eyes.
"Don't you touch me", he hissed in a cold and threatening voice. "Don't you dare touch me. I have nothing for you. You've been hanging around here long enough, isn't it time to move on and find something else to occupy yourself with."
Doflamingo could only stare at his furious partner. Seconds ago, Crocodile had been cold and unresponsive like a dead fish, and now he was breathing heavily and looking like he would attack with claws and teeth any second. He understood nothing of what the raven-haired man said. He could, however, recognize the strong smell of whiskey on the man's breath, and the slight, almost nonexistent slur in his voice.
"What are you saying, reptile man?" Doflamingo asked and slowly approached him again. "You've just had a glass too much. Let's get you to bed and talk more in the morning, when you've slept it off."
"No!" Crocodile roared and back away so quickly he crashed into the kitchen counter. "I'll be damned before you get me into bed with you ever again. I think it's you how should go and sleep, with whoever you see fit. I couldn't care less!"
Now Doflamingo was really confused. It seemed Crocodile was jealous, but Doflamingo couldn't understand what he had done that could cause a reaction like this from the raven-haired male. Again, he tried to approached carefully yet again, and this time Crocodile seemed a little more composed.
"Crocodile", he said in a soft, calm voice. "Please just tell me what's wrong. I'm sure that whatever it is it's just a misunderstanding."
Crocodile watched with suspicious yet dull eyes as Doflamingo's hands rose and reached his hair, slowly threading his finger into his locks and over his scalp.
"Just calm down."
Doflamingo's voice sounded so comforting and calm, and Crocodile closed his eyes. It would be so easy, so great to just go with the blonde's flow and just be swept away. The finger's dancing over his head felt great, and his head felt even foggier than before.
He felt a pressure against his forehead, and it took him a few seconds for Crocodile to realize it was Doflamingo's lips. They moved from the forehead to his right cheek, then to his left cheek. Crocodile felt himself relax. His lips were like silk, and they felt good, cooling his burning chin.
Then his lips covered his own, moving slowly, like waves against the shore.
'Work comes first. It always comes first.'
The words from earlier that day cut his memory like a knife, and he quickly pulled away with a pained gasp.
Doflamingo was taken by surprise, and couldn't do much when Crocodile showed him of with much power.
"Crocodile, what-" Doflamingo started, but Crocodile's panicked voice interrupted him.
"Shut up! Leave me alone!" Crocodile shouted, shutting up the blonde effectively. "I don't want you here. I never asked for any of this, and I never wanted you to hang around from the beginning."
"Oi Crocodile, just calm down" Doflamingo said in an uneasy voice.
The blonde was unsure of what to do. He had never seen Crocodile this mad before. The reptile man sure was grumpy almost all the time, annoyed even, but not angry like this.
Crocodile sighed loudly in frustration and slumped against on the counter of the kitchen island. Somehow he felt dirty and used, and he wasn't supposed to feel like this. It was horrible.
"Hey", Doflamingo said in a gentle voice and started approach him for the third time. "Don't be like that. I'm sure we can-"
"There is no fucking 'we'!" Crocodile lashed out and pushed away from the counter so abruptly that he made Doflamingo take a step back. "There never was a 'we', and I DON'T WANT YOU HERE! You are an immature brat who doesn't know when to quit! Just stomping around as you please without even thinking about other people's situations!"
"Crocodile, please", Doflamingo said with almost a pleading tone and reach out to try and get a steady grip around the dark-haired man's shoulder.
Crocodile pushed the hands away harshly.
"NO! I'm not that easy to fool, and I will not go along with your childish charm and stupid grin. This ends here you fowl! I don't want to see you anymore: not your freakish build, not your annoying smile and most of all those repulsive eyes of yours. Take it all and leave!"
There was silence for some very long and very painful moments. Doflamingo slowly registered the words that had been spilling out from Crocodiles mouth, and he couldn't even use the affect of the alcohol as an excuse for those words.
Crocodile's dim head slowly turned more clear, and the young CEO could see the color draining from the blonde's face. Crocodile had realized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth. Doflamingo had frozen on the spot. There was almost as if you could hear something break inside of the young man with the purple sunglasses.
".. D-Doflamingo", Crocodile started stuttering because he knew he had done something unforgivable. "I-I... I didn't... it was not-"
"Was not what?" a sharp voice interrupted, making Crocodile visibly flinched. "It wasn't your intention to tell me what I really am? A deformed brat with freakish build and repulsive eyes."
Doflamingo spit the last words out, and now it was Crocodile's turn to watch him with pleading eyes. Doflamingo didn't take any notice of Crocodile's regretful face, and he quickly spun on his heal and left the kitchen with quick steps. Crocodile could hear the front door open and slam shut with a loud bang. He turned around and leaned into the counter, watching his hands trembling on the flat, cold surface.
"It's alright", he whispered to himself, and suddenly Crocodile was a scared eight year-old again, hiding from his screaming parents. "This was for the best."
He slammed his door close and leaned against it, taking deep breaths. It hurt, god it hurt. He couldn't keep the feelings inside any longer. He had rushed home, afraid anyone would recognize him, stop him. He definitely couldn't handle a conversation right now. The blonde slowly lost all his strength in his legs, gradually sliding down on the floor.
He gritted his teeth when the first tear escaped from the corner of his eye. Soon another one followed, then a third and a fourth. His eyes became like waterfalls and he couldn't stop it. He started to rub away the tears with his hands, making his sunglasses ride up on his fore-head.
"Fuck", he whispered with a weak voice.
How could he lower himself to such a pathetic level? It hurt so much. Every time his heart made a beat, the ache in his chest grew. He rubbed his chest through the white cotton-shirt; he clawed at it. He shouldn't feel like this. The break-up with Kuma two years ago had hurt him much, but it was nothing compared to this. He rubbed the salty tears into his skin, making the usually tanned face swell and get a red tone.
He never thought anyone could hurt him like this. It wasn't the first time words like that were said to him. They weren't even the most harsh words he had heard. Why did they affect him so much now? What made the dark haired man so special to him that such simple words like "repulsive eyes" make him feel like this. He realized that the tears had stopped falling, but he was still rubbing his face with the heel of his palms. It felt too good to stop.
When the hiccups were gone and his breath was even again, he stood up and walked to the bathroom. He winched when he saw his reflection in the mirror. The normal grinning face was lifeless, mouth closed and down. His eyes were swollen and blood-shot, the cheeks were puffy from all the tears. He looked like a baby, a little baby bird.
He stared at himself. He stared into the two things that was the source to this. The source to every horrible thing in his life. Two angry deformed eyes stared back at him. The blackness that had escaped his pupils when he was only seven weeks in his mother's stomach. The blackness that made his eyes look like two cracked eggs that was about to lose the yolk. It was repulsive.
Without any warning he grabbed a bottle of cologne and smashed it into the mirror with all his power, shattering both items. Small broken pieces penetrated the skin on his hand and one piece even sliced up a small wound on his left cheek, but Doflamingo couldn't feel anything of that. His whole body was numb.
He was stronger than this, he knew. But right now, he needed time to mourn something that he was probably not able to save.
Finally an update after such a long time! I'm truly sorry, but it's been a lot with school, graduating and work (and maybe a teeny tiny moment of writer's block), but I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, even if it was dreadful for our couple!
Hope you'll continue reading and wait patiently for the next update.
Love Milow
