I can understand if you hate me. I hate myself. I am on my knees, apologizing for not only taking a fucking age to post a new chapter, but posting a really fucking short chapter. I suck. This is what I was stuck on though, so hopefully the next chapter will be quicker? I'll save you disappointment and not promise anything.


A knocking on the door and a voice.

"Mr. Marsh, there's someone here to see you."

How cliche, Stan thought as he blinked his eyes open slowly. Someone tall and dark approached the bed. "Hey." Craig said, face troubled.

"Yo. What's up?" Stan smiled, pushing himself up a slight. He'd been getting better rapidly, so the doctors must have been doing a good job, for once. He'd been there for half of a week already, and Kyle, Cartman and Kenny had come to see him as a group a few days ago. Of course, Cartman and the redhead got into a massive argument which turned violent, and got them thrown out, but he managed to have a (sort-of) decent conversation with Kenny.

Craig just shrugged as an answer and stayed silent. They sat together in silence like that for a while, and Stan was starting to consider falling asleep again out of sheer boredom, when Craig finally said something. "I'm sorry."

"For what? As far as I recall, you didn't send Clyde on my ass."

Craig tensed. "So it was him."

The brunet sighed. He really hadn't meant to let that slip. "Yeah. Him and a gang cornered me and proceeded to kick the living shit out of me. Warned me to stay away from you too, which was weird. Y'know, since as far as they know you shouldn't have anything to do with me."

Craig made an odd noise and bent forward, hiding his face in his hand. Stan jerked upward and stretched out a hand, thinking his boyfriend may be upset. "Oh no, It's okay, I-" He began, but as he got closer he saw the slightest hint of a smile on his lips. "Hey!" He yelled, pissed off, "What's so funny about your jealous boyfrie-" and he broke off. Something clicked. He stared at Craig in shock.

"He's your secret crush."

Craig straightened up like someone shoved a stick up his ass, face red hot for the first time in his whole life, probably. "What?! No!"

"Oh Yes. Yes he is!" Stan leant forward again, excited smile on his face, "You've got a crush on Clyde Donovan! The biggest fucking homophobe in South Park!" Then another pause. "Wait... You planned all this out, didn't you?! You told Clyde about me to test the fucking waters, letting him know wasn't a mistake! And I bet you only asked me out to try and make him jealous! God, it makes so much sense now, you were so obvious in public! You wanted him to notice!"

Craig groaned, face in hands again. "Sorry. Don't tell him. Please." He said, voice muffled and pleading. Stan was surprised. He'd never seen Craig actually beg for something before, ever. But then again, he would of never guessed that he would like Clyde. He actually thought Craig's crush was Thomas Cockson, seeing as he was all over him like a rash as a kid. Thinking about it, Craig did always hang around Clyde 24/7, always look after him, stay close to him, listen to everything he said, even the bullcrap, drive him home after parties...

Oh wow, Craig was actually even worse than Stan at keeping it under covers. Heh, sex joke.

"Don't worry, hunny-bunch. You're my boyfriend after all, why would I go around saying you like another man?" Stan said, voice sickly sweet. Honestly, he found this far too amusing to even consider getting jealous. He didn't really have those kinds of feelings around Craig anyway. He preferred nicer, softer people, with mild manors. The only thing he could respect about Craig was their shared love of critters.

The other youth glared at him. "Ever call me that again, Marsh, and I'll fucking gut you."

"That's not nice, I'm sick you know." Stan replied, pouting. Groaning again at the others stupidity, Craig flipped him off.

"Anyway..." Stan sighed, a bit sick of talking to his 'boyfriend'. "My parents came earlier this week and told me I can come home, or whatever, so I won't be staying with you anymore."

"Thank god."

Stan scowled. "I really don't know why we're dating."

"Because I want to make my crush jealous, and secretly, so do you." Craig pointed out, logically. Stan sighed, pinching his brow. "Well that's certainly working, isn't it? Just us hanging around each over put a knot in your honey's stomach. God, imagine if we kissed infront of him! He'd kill me!"

They both froze. Meeting each overs eyes, Craig grinned and Stan's blood ran cold.

"Heck no." - "Fuck yes!"