Chapter 9- Let Her Go (Passenger)
I woke up to my phone vibrating consistently. My hand blindly grasped the bedside table until I finally made contact. I squinted trying to see who was calling.
"Hello?" I answered sleepily.
"Kairi!" Namine yelled causing me to pull the phone away from my ear.
"Why are you shouting?" I asked.
"It's nine in the morning and you never came home or texted me!"
"I went home with Seifer," I said quietly realizing he was asleep next to me still.
"You could have told me!"
"I'm sorry," I said rubbing my tired eyes.
"You better tell me everything once you get home. I'm glad you're okay," Namine said finally calm.
"I will," I smiled. We hung up and I looked back at my sleeping boyfriend. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He began to stir and soon his eyes met mine. "Hi," I whispered.
"Hello," he said quietly with a hint of a smile. Seifer slowly sat up and looked at me then down at him. He sighed and pressed his hand to his forehead. "Are you still mad at me?"
I shook my head. "I'm not mad, just… lost."
"Lost?" he made eye contact with me again.
"I feel like I'm not in the same world as you. Going back to Twilight Town was like an alternate universe when I met the people of you past, especially since you never talked about them."
"Makes sense."
"Are you ready to talk yet?" I held my breath anticipating his answer. I didn't want to keep missing my chance but if I never asked I knew he'd never tell.
"I don't know."
I sighed in defeat once more. "Last night you said you were sorry for everything. I'm assumed you were ready."
He looked up and slid his hand down his face. "That… last night I had a dream. I was talking to Xion… it was from when I was there…"
My chest tightened. "Did you and Xion talk?"
"Actually, we did. It really made me think…"
"About about?" I looked at him curiously and cautiously.
"Relationships."
For some reason his statement made me feel sick to my stomach. . "What about relationships?"
"That everyone needs closure. And I've been thinking a lot about it…" Seifer fell quiet. My stomach knotted up and I felt my breath get caught in my chest. "I think you should go see Sora without having to worry about me."
My head became clouded and my heart felt fragile. I felt the hammer getting ready to make contact. "Are you breaking up with me?" I could barely ask the question.
"No. Not exactly. I just don't want to cloud your mind." I knew he was quoting me when I left him behind.
My voice felt trapped as I opened my mouth. "So what do you exactly mean?"
"When you go to Radiant Garden, try not to think of me. Get your closure or whatever you need while you're there. And no, I'm not breaking up with you."
"So we're going to take a break?"
"Basically. With no strings attached."
"Meaning…"
"Whatever happens there," he took a deep breath in. "happens." I began to stare blankly at the wall. My mind struggled to comprehend what he just said. Then my heart began to read between the lines. Did he think we were on a break when I left him alone with Xion? Did something happen between them after I left? My throat began to feel constricted and my heart rate began to beat faster. I was going into a near panic attack at the thought of him and Xion doing anything but talk. I started at Seifer and began to shake.
He narrowed his eyes in concur. "Kairi, are you okay?"
I tried to speak but nothing came out. I threw the covers off of me and hurried into my clothes. "Kairi!" Seifer said in surprise. "What's wrong?"
"I need to go," I finally managed to say. I ran out of the bedroom and finally out the front door with my things in hand. I rushed out of his apartment complex as fast as I could. It didn't take long for my emotions to finally catch up to me. I had to pull over to cry it out. I could barely see in front of me as I sobbed into my hands.
Seifer didn't say there was anything between Xion and him but the silence became deafening. Hearing him say I needed to figure out my closure or whatever with Sora and ignoring my relationship with Seifer was tearing me apart. Yes, I needed to figure out what my feelings were but what made him decide this when he talked to his ex-girlfriend? What happened to them? What closure- if any- went on while I was at home and they were hours away? I pounded my fists into my steering wheel.
I wasn't into being a conniving, payback is a bitch kind of person but maybe Seifer was pushing me away was reason enough to figure out what my feelings were without regret. I still felt lost. None of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to beat his stereotypical relationship. The harder I tried, the more I became the girls who were in his past. Fui proved her statement right. I was just too damn curious. How stupid could I be.
My phone began to ring. I looked down to see Seifer's name. I ignored it only to receive a text right after.
"Are you okay? What the hell just happened?"
I gripped my phone in defeat and wiped away my tears. I refused to be that girl in Seifer's life. Namine and him were right, I needed to see Sora and figure out what I wanted. It was my turn to do what I felt was right. Maybe then I could decide what I need or who I needed. "I'm going to take you up on your offer. You're right. This will be good for us." I was going to show Seifer I could be the girl he needed and could trust. I loved him and I was going to prove it.
"Once you come back, we can really talk."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I love you, Seifer."
"I love you, too, Kairi."
x.o.x.o. "You are what you love, not who loves you" x.o.x.o.
The following week didn't seem to change. Seifer and I remained awkward and distance. My mind was all over the place and continued to go back and forth on being spiteful and determined. I really hoped my days in Radiant Garden would help me finger it all out.
"I hope we get it all figured out when you come home." Seifer stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets. I watched people in the airport walk along in their own world.
"Me too," I finally said looking at him.
"Stay safe. I'll see you when you get back." His voice was soft and tender. This was the moment I was dreading yet waiting for. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, they say.
"Bye," I managed to say.
"Goodbye, Kai." We didn't hug, let alone touch, as I made my way to my terminal. I looked back one last time and saw Seifer bow his head. Soon the crowd swallowed him from view.
The flight felt like a dream. It wasn't until I saw the huge city below me that I began to comprehend reality. I was alone in a new city and I really began to feel small. I didn't think my plans through. Seifer had provided me of the flight and the hotel but Radiant Garden was huge and I had no one to contact for Sora's surprise.
Walking through the airport I saw tons of families reuniting in hugs. That's when my plans started to form in my head. "Hello?" Mrs. Ikari said.
"Maryanne! Hi! I have a favor to ask…" I said finding a quiet corner.
"Kairi dear! I'm sorry but I'm in Radiant Gard-"
"Me too!" I said hoping she would help. "I'm here to surprise Sora! I was hoping to get a ride?"
"You're here?"
I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "Yeah. Is there anyway you can come pick me up?"
"I think I may have a ride for you," Maryanne agreed. "Let me get it figured out."
"Thank you so much," I sighed in relief. As we hung up, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I found a seat next to the luggage carousal. I texted my parents and Namine to let them know I was okay. I hovered over the messages between Seifer and me. I had to pretend he didn't exist but it was so hard to just forget someone so important to me.
"Aqua!" A voice called out causing me to shoot my head up. It was such a rare name that I needed to know who it belonged to. A family of a mom, dad, and little boy ran with their bags in hand toward the beautiful girl I had met on New Years. My stomach tightened anxiously. I watched her embrace her family.
Watching them reunite from a distance made me realize that Sora and I never finished our conversation. I didn't even know the outcome of him and Aqua and if they were together or not. I was here in the middle. His parents- I didn't even know if they knew and I was about to see them any moment. I covered my face with my hands.
I peered through my fingers to see Aqua and her family walking by. I tried to watch without them seeing me. Aqua had her arm wrapped around the shoulders of whom I assumed to be her little brother. She threw her head back and laughed at whatever they were talking about. I had forgotten how pretty she was and it was clear a lot of people agreed as they stared at her walking by. For a brief moment her blue eyes met mine. She didn't react more than smiling before looking forward again. I slowly released the air trapped in my lungs. Did she not recognize me?
I felt a tap on my shoulder causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. A tall, handsome young man with piercing aqua blue eyes looked down at me chuckling. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he smiled. I looked at this stranger in front of me and sat a little straighter.
"Um, it's okay," I replied.
He tilted his head curiously causing his long silver hair to fall to the side. "Are you Kairi?"
I retracted my head back a bit. "Um, yes… Do we know each other?"
He smiled back. "I know you." He extended his hand. "I'm Riku."
I slowly shook his hand. "Kairi, as you apparently know." Then it clicked. "Wait, you're Riku, Sora's friend?" He nodded and crossed his arms.
"So Sora's talked about me," he said pleased. Riku was Sora's best friend and dorm mate at University of Radiant Garden. They met freshman year and stuck together the whole time.
I smiled. "Yeah. He's said some good things."
Riku chuckled, "what a guy. So are you waiting for his parents to come get you?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"They sent me. I was already on this side of town running errands. They're with Sora and I hear this is a surprise."
I nodded. "Yeah. He has no clue."
Riku reached down and grabbed my luggage. "Oh, I believe it. Sora wouldn't have shut up about it if he was expecting you here." My heart fluttered.
I stood up and began to follow Riku. "Really? How do you know?"
"He talks about you all the time." I grinned to myself. "So what do you think of Radiant Garden so far?" he asked as soon as we stepped outside. It was loud and crowded. People walked tightly together and the people shifted along. I hurried to catch up to Riku and stood close.
"Um, different. It's definitely different," I answered squeezing through the waves of bodies coming at me. We mad it to the road where Riku waved down a cab. It was almost instant for the yellow car to pull up. "We're taking a cab?"
Riku put my bags in the trunk and opened the back door for me. "Of course. It's rare to drive in the city. Too many people, not enough space." We climbed in together and headed into the heart of Radiant Garden.
I watched out the window as we passed by all of the large buildings that seemed to reach endlessly toward the sky and the crowded sidewalks that went on for miles. It was such a culture shock to see more bodies and yellow cabs versus the open road and people on bikes. "So where are we going?"
"My parents house. Sora and his family are there." I was getting excited and nervous all at once. There was a change between Sora and me. I was determined to finally figure it all out.
We pulled up to a large two story house half an hour later. It was in a tucked away suburbia with clean cut grass, white picket fences, and fancy cars. My heart began to thump anxiously. Riku and I stepped outside into the fresh air. The cab driver helped us with my bags. Riku led the way to the front door and held his hand on the medal knob. "You ready?" he asked. I could only nod.
We stepped inside the long hallway. The smell of fresh baked goods consumed me. Voices echoed off the walls and then I heard his laugh sending chills down my spine. I was never this crazy when I'd anticipate seeing Sora. The only time I felt this insane was the first time we saw each other after he had moved away.
Nearly Four Years Ago
It had only been four months ago that Sora and I agreed it'd be best to be friends. Long distance was hard on both of us. Going from seeing each other everyday to talking barely a few times a week wasn't reasonable or fair to anyone. My heart raced at the thought of seeing his beautiful face in person again. I was pacing in my room with my books spread across my bed.
"Kai, you're supposed to be studying," Namine said tapping her pencil to her forehead and staring at a textbook in front of her.
I stopped to look out the window. "I can't, Sora will be here any minute."
Namine sat up and closed her book. "You have a test tomorrow." It was nearing the end of our first year of college and it was finals week. Namine and I were supposed to be studying for our Biology test.
"I can't concentrate," I answered glancing at my phone to see if I had a message.
"I can see that," I heard her say behind me. I turned to smile at her.
"Kairi!" my mom yelled from the living room. "Sora's is here!"
I tossed my phone into the pile of homework that was waiting to be done and rushed out of my room with Namine close behind. Sora and mom were hugging when we made eye contact. His blue eyes pierced its way to my heart making it flutter. "Hey Kairi Kat," he smiled. I could feel myself swooning.
"Hey Sora," I smiled back.
"Hey there Sora," Namine waved.
"'sup Nam." He made his way over to hug us both. Once he wrapped his arms around me, all my feelings collided with reality. He was here. His warmth, his cologne, his soft hair, and comforting body against me made me feel at home instantly. I never wanted to let go.
"I'm going to go Kai. Let me know when you want to study next," Namine said sliding toward the door. Thank god for best friends.
"I'll be in my room," my mom mentioned leaving Sora and me alone.
He stared at me with a small smiled. "What?" I asked touching my face.
He shook his head. "I've missed you."
I hummed happily, yet slightly embarrassed as I tucked some of my hair behind my ear. "I've missed you, too." We kept staring at each other. Seeing him as the handsome nineteen year old boy who was single was so bizarre from the nineteen year old boy who I had been with for the last few years. It was something new and almost exciting to be seeing him in this light and being able to flirt with him like we did when we first started feeling something between us. I bit my bottom lip at the thought of it.
"Don't do that," he chuckled looking away.
"Do what?"
He leaned in toward me. "Bit your lip. You know it drives me crazy."
I smirked and did it again a little more seductively. "Maybe that's the plan."
Sora grabbed me into him again and lightly brushed his lips against my ear making me tremble. "It's so hard not to love you."
I smiled and hugged him tighter. "I feel the same."
Riku nudged my arm and looked down at me. "You okay?"
I looked up at him in what probably looked like a fear stricken child going to school for the first time. I was excited and nervous and it was making me almost nauseous. "Yeah, I think so." He smiled and stepped into the entry way.
"I'm home!" he said expanding his arms out. "And I have a surprise!" he turned to look at me. I nodded taking a deep breath. I stood right next to him and smiled.
Sora's mouth dropped open. "Kairi?"
"Hi," I smiled stepping into the living room causing him to jump up. He walked up to me, put his hands on my arms and stared at me in awe as if he was seeing a ghost. His blue eyes trapped me like they always did.
"You're here…" he whispered before pulling me into a tight hug.
I laughed and hugged him back. "I am." There was a knock on the door causing Riku to turn and answer it. Sora pulled back and grinned at me.
"I can't believe you're really here." Sora looked at his parents and who I assumed to be Riku's parents. "Kairi's here."
Mr. and Mrs. Ikari laughed. "We know dear. We can see that," Maryanne smiled.
"Sora, Kairi!" Riku called from the front door. "We have a… visitor…" We looked at each other confused.
"Did you bring someone else?" he asked me. I shook my head. We stopped in the hall to see who was here. My heart sank and by Sora's reaction, his did too.
A/N: Yay for Riku finally making his appearance. You can't have a story without him, just saying. Anyway, who could be at the door? =O guess you'll just have to find out soon.
