Thanks again everyone! Your support is always appreciated!
RedCrow1120 - Thank you so much for your interest in my fanfic, for all your reviews, and for taking the time to give me your input and ideas! In truth, I had considered and tackled with the issue of having Tohru also have some sessions with Kazuki, especially because I like her character so much. However, ultimately, I decided that as much as I would like to, I didn't think I could make it make sense, since Kazuki is supposed to only be working for his own family, the Sohmas. In my mind, it seemed unlikely that Akito (who, as Kyou points out, is the one forcing everyone to see Kazuki) would allow Tohru to participate and, thus,the whole thing would seem a bit forced. In addition, I also have a large portion of the story already written and right now I'm just working on finishing it up. That being said, Tohru will show up, but just not in a session with Kazuki. However, I really appreciate your suggestion and I hope that you continue to enjoy my story, even though Tohru won't have a session!
Next up is Haru...another fun chapter to write, on my end! Hopefully, it's just as enjoyable on your ends!
Patient – Sohma Hatsuharu; Session #59
My sessions with Haru were always peaceful, pleasant, and, ultimately, absolutely pointless. Simply put, we just didn't get anywhere. He would just sit very placidly as I tried to help him work through his bipolar (borderline multiple personality disorder) personality. Yet, this proved to be very difficult, as Haru seemed to have selective memory in regards to his "Black" Haru incidents and never once did he give into his more aggressive, violent tendencies during our meetings. So, I didn't have much to work with except a vague family history which he had shared with me during our third session, involving him being ridiculed as a child. While this bit of information did prove useful to some extent in our discussions, at the same time, I didn't think it really adequately explained his rather drastic split personality, as a mental instability of such a drastic nature as that usually required either a chemical imbalance of some sorts (and unfortunately, any sort of medication was ruled out) or a very shocking and traumatic event in childhood. Of course, I'll be the first to admit that such cruel mocking experienced in childhood can have great repercussions on one's adult life, but it usually results in emotional issues revolving around low self-esteem; never had I read about such experiences leading to the development of two separate and exceedingly different personalities. Still, as I didn't have much to go on, since I had no experience with this supposed "Black" Haru myself (and I would never rely too heavily on hearsay), I kind of just went through the motions (as ashamed as I am to admit this) during my sessions with the teenage boy.
"I don't know why I can't control it," Haru explained (as he did so many times before; to be honest, our meetings had also become very repetitive), "It's just something that comes over me, I guess."
"Well, according to my notes…" I began, flipping through a few pages, "You told me in the past that usually you need to be 'provoked' to become this 'Black' Haru?" I was hoping to confirm my conclusion that perhaps Haru suffered from passive-aggressive behavior, although somehow an exaggerated interpretation of it had been developed by my family, since they were less familiar with this rather common behavior.
"Yes, that's true, I suppose," he answered rather stoically.
"So perhaps what we need to do is continue working on dealing with your anger; managing it, sort of speak, so you don't let it pile up until it overcomes you," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, for we had done this so many times in the past.
"All right, we can do that," Haru complied. "However…"
"Yes?"
"Well, it's just that I don't really feel angry."
"Hmm?"
"When I'm like this, that is. I don't feel like I'm trying to contain any sort of anger, because nothing really bothers or angers me."
"Oh, I see…" I trailed off. So much for my passive-aggressive theory, although I suppose I had tried it out at least a half a dozen times at other meetings, and it never really seemed to work out.
"It's almost like a switch, you know?" Haru went on, "I feel perfectly calm and then suddenly, there's a flash of anger. After that, I find myself 'waking up' I guess a while later having missed out on a good deal of time with only a hazy memory of what happened."
"And you are sure you don't take anything…?" I now questioned, albeit feeling a bit foolish for asking him if he was using drugs for the umpteenth time.
"Take anything?" Haru repeated tranquilly, sounding confused by the question.
"I mean, do you perhaps drink or eat something unusual before these sudden aggressive rages?" I clarified, but by his silence I could tell he still didn't get it, so I bluntly said, "Like a drug?"
"No," Haru answered, not at all phased by my suggestion.
"Okay, then," I stated, as if I had made some sort of new discovery, and I wrote it down and my notes, even though I had previously written down the same answer countless times.
"Haven't you asked me that before?" Haru inquired, semi-interested.
"Uh, I was just clarifying," I told him.
"Oh, okay." He seemed satisfied enough with my answer.
"So, we know you're not taking drugs, and you don't appear to be suffering from passive-aggressive tendencies, as in you're not bottling up frustration within you. And you don't remember these 'Black' Haru incidents?"
"Not really."
"But you think it's triggered by some kind of provoking? Could you give me an example?"
"I can't really remember anything specifically, no."
"That's okay," I replied as patiently as I could, although Haru didn't sound too apologetic about it to begin with. "So, as we've stated, your condition involves some sort of memory loss."
"Yes."
"Do you know what could possibly cause or trigger this memory loss?"
"I don't know. I suppose if I did know, then I wouldn't be forgetting all the time."
"I guess that would make sense…" I sighed and frowned. Then, pathetically I asked, "Haru, are you sure your friends aren't playing some kind of cruel joke on you?"
"What?"
"Never mind," I muttered, rubbing my temples as the headache I had throughout the session grew worse. Soon, I began to think that maybe Haru was the one playing the cruel joke on me, but I quickly shook away this thought and continued, "But you remember getting angry as a child, yes?"
"Yes, but Yuki helpled me with that - isn't that in your notes though?"
"Yes," I responded through gritted teeth, but remained pleasant despite my irritation, "I just wanted to clarify."
"You do that a lot," Haru noted nonchalantly.
"Well, it's a psychiatrist thing…" I lied pitifully in my defense. Continuing, I said, "Now, Haru, just to clarify one more thing – and I need you to answer this honestly – are you sure you're not exaggerating when you discuss 'Black' Haru?"
"How do you mean?"
"It seems, from your description, that 'Black' Haru is a radically different person than the person you are now, in your present state. Yet, while there are certain conditions that might explain this, from the information you've given me, most seem unlikely, so I'm not entirely confident that this 'Black' Haru exists as you've described him. So in order to continue progressing, I need to know is this 'Black' Haru just your way of personifying yourself when you get angry and maybe you're experiencing some sort of denial or are you positive that 'Black' Haru is, in fact, an alter ego of some sorts and is a completely separate person from who you are now?"
"If you want me to answer honestly, then all I can say is that Black Haru does exist as I've described. I know it's not the answer you want to hear, as you seem so skeptical and all, but that's the truth, and I can't change that," Haru answered coolly, this response having become the typical answer for that question, which I often have posed. However, he added with a shrug, "Maybe it has to do with the curse."
I laughed lightly at this, as if to make certain he knew I did not take him seriously. "Oh, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this all," I assured him. Then, as it all seemed so futile in spite of all my efforts, I decided to resort to lying once more; "Anyhow, I think we had a rather successful session today, so how about we wrap up early?"
"Sure," Haru answered. And that was that - it was always the same in the end, after all. As aforementioned, we never got anywhere during any of our sessions, and I had very little hope that we would get anywhere in the future (in actuality, the whole ordeal seemed to be symbolic of my entire practice). However, admittedly, the sad truth was that I still did have that hope, as little as it might have been. Sure, it had been dwindling, and my curiosity at his mental affliction had withered away into skepticism, but I continued clinging foolishly to the slight chance that I might actually be able to solve the baffling mystery (that is, if there was anything to solve in the first place or if he really was suffering from something like multiple personality disorder). In any event, I wouldn't be so quick to write the whole thing off as the just another sad side effect of the Sohma family curse; in the end, there was always a logical explanation for everything.
