A/N: Okay, a few things before I get started. First, I may have given off the impression that Sam was letting the situation just roll off his shoulders. That is not true! You'll get more from that end in this chapter. Also, bear with me on this chapter because this is the first time I've written a set of chapters like this, I will do the best I can. I apologize if it comes out bad.

CHAPTER 9 I Can't

NARRATOR

The days that followed were good. Jacob only called Bella once. She told him that she was going to stay at the Cullens' until Carlisle was satisfied with the healing process and they'd talk about it later. All of the Cullens went temporarily deaf during this conversation. They didn't want to upset her too much in her current state and said nothing about her going back.

Everyone was very attentive. It made Bella feel a little weird but Carlisle told her that he didn't want her walking for a couple days. That meant if she couldn't get it from where she was sitting, someone else had to get it for her. When she had to go to the bathroom, someone would have to carry her.

Edward went downstairs on the first day. He sat on the chair furtherest away from the couch. It was awkward and difficult at first. He only spoke when he asked her if she needed anything every half hour. He also told her that if she got uncomfortable on the couch, he would take her up to the bed that was still in his room. She declined the offer. After a few hours, he began joining in on conversations his brothers and sisters were having with Bella.

Things remained very awkward until three days after the "incident."

BELLA

Bella was lying in Jacob's bed. She could feel the heat of his body on top of hers. She heard herself screaming and begging for him to stop. He was hitting her and telling her to lay still. She could feel his lips, tongue and teeth all over her upper body.

She was begging for him to stop but he kept on hitting her and telling her it would be easier if she just laid still. He hand went over her mouth and she knew what was about to happen. She felt him position himself above her and just before he rammed himself in, she heard a distant voice,

"Bella, it's okay. It's Edward. I'm here. He can't hurt. I won't let him."

She closed her eyes and fucused on the voice as Jacob continued what he was doing. She tried to ignore the pain and keep thinking of the words in the back of her mind.

Bella snapped her eyes open. She was lying in a bed and there was a shadow over her. She was scared for a minute but then she realized it was only Edward. That's when she broke down completely. She felt him wrap his arms around her and hold her. She felt him stroking he hair. He kept whispering that he wouldn't let Jacob hurt her while she was here.

She felt safe and loved in his arms. This was the way she wished she felt when Jacob held her. She hated feeling like his prize instead of his girlfriend. She stayed there and cried it all out.

When she was done the reality of the situation hit her. She looked up into his face and saw the pain written all over his face. She pulled herself away from him and crawled off the bed on to the couch. She curled herself into a ball and wiped the tears away.

How could she be so selfish?

"I'm so sorry, Edward." she said her voice cracking. She looked into his face to see some confusion mixed with the pain.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" he asked.

Did he not think she was being selfish?

"I'm being so selfish." she stated and quickly went on so he didn't have a chance to contradict her. "I broke your heart and here I am running to your family with my problems. I keep making you have to go away. I'm so sorry."

"Bella, stop." he said. He sounded stern but understanding. "First of all, this family considers you part of it, regardless of our relationship. To tell you the truth, Alice considered you a sister since I saved you from the van."

Bella was slightly confused by that. Technically, she hadn't even met Alice, yet. How could Alice consider her family? Her confusion must have shown on her face because Edward said,

"I'll explain later. The point is once you are consider part of this family, you always will be and we do anything for family. Besides, I'd be very upset if you didn't think you could come here to feel safe."

It was something Bella needed to hear but it also passed into the realm of awkwardness. She didn't want it to go there so she searched her mind for a change of subject.

"How did I get up here?" she finally asked.

"After you fell asleep, I figured you want some more room and brought you up here." he answered.

That was even more awkward so she tried again. In the silence, she realized that it was to quiet for the Cullen household.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"Carlisle's at the hospital. Esme went to get you some more food. Rosalie and Emmett are hunting. And since you're out of commission right now, Alice made Jasper her shopping buddy.

Bella laguhed at this.

"I should probably apologize to him." she said and then realized went everyone being gone meant. "So it's just me and you then?"

"Yeah, but if you are not comfortable, I can go downstairs." Edward answered.

Bella didn't want him to leave. She felt better with him there and she missed talking to him.

"No, stay. I miss talking to you." she said practically pleading.

"Okay, what do you wanna talk about?"

"Tell me about Alice and me with the van."

She listened as he told her about the family meeting they had about how to handle Edward exposing his powers to Bella. He told her that they couldn't agree on anything to do. He said that it wasn't until Alice told them about a vision she had of Bella and her becoming good friends that they decided to see how things played out. He also mentioned, from that point on, Alice kept bugging him to meet her.

She laughed a lot during the story. To her it was classic Alice. Things got more comfortable after that. She listened to him telling stories about the family before she met them. Bella informed him about things that were happening with the pack and stuff with Charlie. She told him that she wasn't sure what she watnted to do with the rest of her life. They disucssed some possibilities for her.

She didn't know why but some how it felt like they made a silent agreement not to mention Jacob or Edward and her relationship. She stayed curled up in a ball on the couch. She wanted to get closer but she didn't want to put him through anymore pain. She firgured, though, that from the way he stayed as far away from her as possible, he didn't want her any closer to him.

At three o'clock, Edward laughed but neither of them had said anything funny.

"What?" she asked.

"Alice and Japser are back." he answered. "And Jasper isn't very happy."

Bella laughed. She made a mental note to do something nice for Jasper.

"And a little warning, she bought you some new clothes." Edward said with a slight smile.

"Great." she replied and rolled her eyes. As much as she loved Alice, she did get frustrating when it came to fashion. Edward laughed at her reaction.

Bella heard the front door open and close.

"Hello!" Alice yelled. Bella knew it was only for her benefit. Alice knew that every vampire in the house would hear her even if she whispered.

"We're upstairs." Edward replied as if Alice was in the same room. "We'll be down in a minute." '

"Okay." Alice yelled.

"Can you walk or would you like me to carry you?" Edward asked. Carlisle said that it was okay for her to start walking as long as she didn't push herself. She decided to give it a try.

"If you could help me, I'd like to try to walk." she responded. He was in front of the couch in a second. She took his offered hand and let him pull her up. She let him put her arm around his shoulder. It didn't hurt as bad as it did three days ago but she still had moments when it hurt. It was only times when she took to big of a step or tried to go too fast. She flinched as the pain shot through her abdomen whenever this happened.

When the finally reached the living room, Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch and had stored the bags in a corner. As they made their way past Jasper, Bella caught his eye and mouthed I'm sorry. Jasper just smiled and rolled his eyes.

When Edward helped her sit next to Alice, Bella noticed Alice giving Edward a meaningful look and Edward just gave her a little smile. Bella just rolled her eyes and figured they were having another one of their silent conversation. Once she was comfortable, Alice turned her attention in Bella's direction.

"I got you some new outfits. You wanna see?" she asked.

"Maybe later, Alice. I'm kinda tired." Bella replied. It wasn't a total lie. The dream and her conversation with Edward made her a little emotionally drained.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Edward asked. She smiled inside. It was nice to know that he was paying attention and taking care of her, even though as messed up as their relationship was right now.

"Maybe a litte." she replied. Edward nodded and headed to the kitchen. Alice followed.

Jasper had moved from the couch to the armchair farthest away. Bella wasn't offended by this. She knew it was a little harder for Jasper to control himself around her.

"I'm sorry you had to go with Alice today. I know how irritating she can be when it comes to clothes and shopping." Bella said.

Jasper shrugged and said,

"It okay. Being irritated is worth it if I get to spend some extra time with her."

Bella looked at the floor when he said that. She felt a twinge of sadness in her stomach. She wished Jacob would act like that. Hell, she wished Jacob would say something like that about her, even if it was just talk.

Jasper must have sensed her sadness because he said,

"You deserve so much better than him. You don't deserve to be treated like a punching bag. You deserve respect and love."

Somewhere deep down, she knew he was right but wasn't ready to admit it to herself yet. Thankfully, Alice and Edward came back and she didn't have to respond. The two handed her carrots, dip, and a diet soda. Alice sat down on Jasper's lap and Edward sat next to Bella.

The four talked about random things for the rest of the afternoon. When Esme came home, Edward, Alice, and Jasper helped her corry things in and put them away. Bella smiled at how they treated such a normal human activity. Most people would have complained about having to take care of groceries but it was something the Cullens did once in a great while. They had fun doing it. No doubt taking turns showing off.

Esme joined them in the living when they were finished. Rosalie and Emmett returned shortly after.

When Carlisle came home around nine, he requested that everyone give him a minute with Bella. He told them that he had to talk with her then check her out. Everyone went their own seperate ways. Bella knew the conversation wouldn't be completely private but she admired that they were trying to respect her privacy.

Carlisle sat on the couch in front of her.

"I talked to Sam today." Carlisle said. Bella was not expecting this. Her breath hitched and her heart started beating faster. She had to tell herself to calm down. "I made him away of what Jacob has been doing."

"No...why...If Jacob...Oh god!" Bella couldn't form a sentence. She was going to be in so much trouble. Why would Carlisle do that to her?

"Calm down, Bella." Carlisle said. "Sam wanted to call Jacob on it and stop him from doing it. I told him that you weren't ready for that. I also told him that if Jacob found out he knew, you would get into trouble. So against his better judgement, he is going to do his best to keep Jacob and the pack from finding out he knows. He is going to keep an eye on the two of you when you're there. In secret, of course. He's going to get some of the pack to help. He won't say why." Carlisle explained.

This eased her panic. She knew if Carlisle said things would be okay, they would be. She liked having him here. If she couldn't talk to her own father about what was happening, then she was glad she had someone she trusted like a father. Carlisle was taking care of her like a father would too.

Part of her thought that he really did want her as a daughter.

"Okay, why don't we head up to my study, so I can take a look." Carlisle said as she came out of her thoughts. She let Carlisle support her up the stairs.

FOUR DAYS LATER...

Carlisle told Bella that he was satisfied that she was beginning to heal. He was going to allow her to leave that day. The first thing Bella did was call Jacob. She told him that she would shower and then meet him in La Push so they could discuss the situation. She was glad when the family said nothing once she got off the phone. For her, going back after this past week was going to be hard enough.

She said good bye and thank you to everyone. She promised she would be back some time later in the week. Just before she was about to leave, Edward asked the family to give them a minute alone. Once again the family left the room. Just like before, Bella knew it wouldn't be completely private but she appreciated the effort.

Edward didn't say anything at first. He just stood there looking like he was trying to find the right words. She really needed him to spit it out. She was in enough trouble with Jacob. She didn't need him to get mad for her taking too long.

"I don't mean to be pushy but I really got to get going. What's up?" she asked.

"Why do you go back?" he finally choked out.

"Because he loves me. I know he does but he just loses control sometimes. It's hard for him to control his anger with his werewolf genes." she said. Why did the have to talk about it? Why couldn't he just let her go?

"Don't give me that bullshit." he said. The anger in his voice cut through her like a knife. "If I can be around you as much as I was and keep it under control enough to not eat you then he can keep it under control enough to not hit you! And if what he does in love then you must think I hate you!"

It hurt to know just how right he was. She had to push the thought back though. She just had to go back to Jacob. She felt tears rolling down her face.

"Look, Edward just stop." she finally said. "Don't lecture me about this. I don't need that!"

"I'm sorry." he replied. "I didn't mean for it to come out like this. I don't want to fight about what he does nor about how he feels about you. I just wanted to say that I still love you. And I always will. I will wait for you forever but please don't make me. Stay with me now. Don't go back to him. Please!"

Bella stood by the door frozen as he said the words. She had wanted to her him say that for ove a month now. She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and feel safe from the whole world. She knew that she couldn't, though. She knew in her heart that the only reason why Jacob hadn't unleashed his anger on the Cullens was because Bella kept coming back. She didn't want to think about what he would do if she stayed with them. She couldn't risk that. not after everything that they had done for her.

"I can't." she said keeping her eyes on the floor.

"Why not?" he asked.

"It's just too much. I'm sorry, Edward but I really got to go." she said and opened the door. "Tell Carlisle, I said thanks for everything!"

She walked out the door and jumped in her truck. She held in the tears until she got to the end of the driveway, then she lost it. She cried all the way back to the house.

She had forgot that it was Monday until she got home and noticed Charlie's cruiser wasn't there. She went inside and prepared for her shower. As she let the hot water cascade over her body she tried to block out the thoughts of her current situation.

Once she got out, she threw on a pair of jeans and sweater that Alice had bought her. She threw her hair into a messy bun and put on a paire of tennis shoes. When she got into her truck and headed to La Push, she realized she was so worried about what Jacob was going to do. Her heart was almost pounding in her chest.

A/N: I know this might be a little annoying but I thought it would be beneficial to see this from both sides. Free cookies for those who review.