Author's Note: I'm glad I'm getting more reviews! But I'm getting a little busy with midterms coming up, so I'm not going to update the next chapter until I get some more reviews. I know it's silly and egotistical of me, but I want to know who my audience is, and what my audience thinks.
Warning: I've changed the rating to Mature, for adult themes and sexuality to follow. From here on out, read at your own discretion.
"Where's Kyouya?" asked Kaoru the next day.
Everyone was making a big production out of Kyouya's absence from the Host Club meeting that day. Haruhi had the shrewd suspicion that they were all avoiding looking at her; she knew she looked like hell, and she knew that they had some shred of an idea of what happened between herself and Kyouya last night.
She was a little more than annoyed about the commotion over Kyouya. He didn't run the Host Club, it was Tamaki's, so why did they absolutely need him to have a meeting? All he did was tap keys annoyingly on his laptop, anyway.
"Can't we have the meeting without him?" asked Haruhi with little venom in her voice.
No one answered.
Oh, honestly. Now Haruhi was positive they knew something.
"Hello?" said Haruhi to a seemingly plastic audience.
Tamaki, never very good at pretending, was obviously avoiding her gaze. She stared at him until he finally cracked.
"Kyouya's upset with you."
"He's upset with me?"Haruhi said incredulously. "Why, because I've mean a mean, horrible person lately? I think I have the right to be upset with him."
"Is there something going on between you and Kyouya?" said Tamaki, narrowing his eyes. "Because it is completely inappropriate for a mother and a daughter to have a relationship."
Haruhi tried really hard not to burst out laughing. She really did, but it didn't work. Tamaki was still not over the fact that Haruhi and Kyouya had been on a bed, in a dark room, together, despite their earnest attempts to tell him it was nothing. Right now, this was his way of dealing with insanity while at the same time trying to remain calm.
"There is nothing going on, I assure you, senpai," said Haruhi, wiping stray tears from her eyes. "Kyouya is too self-centered, conceited, inhuman, and boring."
"Why, thank you for that lovely introduction, Fujioka."
Haruhi froze.
She closed her eyes and cursed her stupid, large mouth. She didn't want to turn around - at all - but her pride was forcing her feet the other way.
"I never knew you had such strong feelings for me," Kyouya continued in a cold, sarcastic voice. His eyes were steel grey and his jaw was set. "All this time I thought you hated me, but alas! You think I'm charming, warm, and intriguing!"
Haruhi still didn't say anything - what could she say?! - and continued to be berated by Kyouya.
"But you know," said Kyouya conversationally, "I don't think I can return your sentiments. I've never liked the nagging, prying, hypocritical, transparent types. So, I'm sorry, but I'll have to end this weird infatuation you have with me."
The twins, having no clue what was going on, were absolutely eating all this up. How juicy! Oh, how his words are lashing!
Haruhi only needed a little more provocation. Just one more stupid word from Kyouya's stupid mouth.
"What, still have nothing to say?" said Kyouya. "I'm sure I could get you to talk. Why don't we talk about your white little problem?"
And snap. All shreds of sane restraints were, of course, long gone now.
"SHUT UP!"
"Ah, she speaks!" said Kyouya tauntingly. He had taken her words from last night to heart. He was going on like a broken record, relentlessly testing Haruhi's tolerance. "You know it's true, Haruhi. You're on the steep, slippery road towards addiction."
She couldn't believe he knew. And that he was completely rubbing her face in it. Throwing large amounts of salt into her stinging wound.
The Host Club, formerly silent and astonished, had sprung to life now. What on earth was Kyouya talking about addiction for? Oh no…addiction? Was Haruhi…no!
"Kyouya…" started Tamaki in a timid yet warning tone.
Kyouya disregarded him.
"You want to stoop so low as to throw that in my face?!" yelled Haruhi. "I can do that too! Let's talk about how pathetic you are! Trailing after your father, hoping he'll notice what a poor, sensitive boy he's got. 'Oh, he'll never notice me, I'm not important enough!' Oh, poor Kyouya, it's about time you figured it out."
There was a split second's look of indecision and disbelief in Kyouya's eyes before he spat, "What about your father? You don't even know the man. All you know is he's a roaring transvestite who works at a bar. Did you know he's so hopelessly addicted to drugs that when he smiles at you, all he thinks about is how much money you'll make him some day. Money for more drugs! And when he's out until 4 in the morning, he's not just working, he's with other men. Showing them a grand old time in a hotel bedroom." When Haruhi's eyes got wide from shock, he said mercilessly, "Aw, little Haruhi didn't know?"
"Kyouya!" Tamaki roared, finally taking on his role as 'father' of the group. He had heard quite enough. He was surprised that his best friend, however unusual he may be, could be so heartless to such an innocent girl. And what on earth was Haruhi's 'white little problem'?!
Once over the shock, Haruhi stomped over to Kyouya, a murderous glint in her eye.
"You-" she slapped his cheek "-are-" she slapped his other cheek "-a bastard."
She stalked out of the room, leaving a completely shocked Host Club, and an indifferent Kyouya who was touching his cheek in lost thought.
She heard footsteps behind her.
"Haruhi!" yelled Hikaru. "Haruhi!"
She stopped, rolled her eyes, and turned around. Kaoru was trailing behind Hikaru and stopped abruptly behind him.
"What is going on?" Hikaru said.
"I want more," said Haruhi.
Hikaru was at once on guard. "More what?"
"You know what. I'll take anything," said Haruhi, her eyes boring into his.
Beside Hikaru, Kaoru's foot was tapping at a fast rate. Haruhi had begun to notice some symptoms in Kaoru. It seemed he was progressively becoming more jittery and alarmed. He looked paler and sicker than Hikaru, and Haruhi knew he was rapidly succumbing to the dark side of drugs, and that she would soon be joining him if she didn't stop soon. But she didn't want to stop soon. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. She would have argued that her father was worth it, but after Kyouya's defacement of her father she just didn't know anymore. She knew everything Kyouya said was probably true, and she probably knew it all along but she was just trying to lie to herself by making her world seem innocent.
And now Hikaru was looking indecisive as well. He was really craving a little pick-me-up, Haruhi knew it. He was trying to be a gentleman by getting Haruhi out of drugs, but he wasn't doing her any favors. If he was as caring as he claimed, he would let her drown her sorrows in whatever he had. Did he want her to suffer like this? Wouldn't it be twice as good to have another friend beside's Kaoru to throw his life away with?
Hikaru was taking too long. Kaoru had already whipped out a brown paper bag from his booksack and was leading Haruhi outside of the school's gates, with a resigned Hikaru following behind.
"We're not going to your house?" Haruhi asked.
Kaoru shook his head, his eye twitching. "Parents are home. We don't want them to get suspicious."
Haruhi didn't know where they were going, but she followed blindly down a shabby alley, and into a side door off the street. Kaoru led her up a set of rickety stairs, down another hallway, up another flight of stairs, and finally into a dingy room with no lighting except for a single yellow light bulb hanging from the ceiling. There was a small mattress on the ground, littered with magazines and cigarette stubs, and a black-haired man in his twenties sucking on a lollipop in the corner.
"Hello boys," he said lazily, winking at Haruhi.
Kaoru said nothing but gave a curt nod. Hikaru gave the man a weak smile and said, "Jiro, hello."
Kaoru spilled the contents of the brown paper bag onto the dingy mattress and starting assorting through small containers, all the while explaining, "This is Jiro. He's…a friend."
"You sound so loving," chuckled the man. He winked at Haruhi again and she pointedly looked away.
"He's the washed-up son of one our father's friends," elaborated Hikaru, picking at chipped paint on the walls.
Jiro chuckled again and drawled, "Daddy didn't approve of my lifestyle. Kicked me out, emptied my bank account, and haven't heard from him since. The bastard."
"Your lifestyle?" questioned Haruhi, curious in spit of herself.
"Drugs, sex, occasional bisexuality," said Jiro airily. "But I figure, you gotta make something out of your life, don't you? I said screw the hell out of corporations and businesses. Just have fun. You're gonna end up without a soul anyways."
Haruhi was starting to find this man charming in his own, scary way. He was funny and bitter and the complete opposite of Haruhi. She found herself hanging on his every word.
"And you don't see your father?" asked Haruhi.
"No," said Jiro. "He's too busy fucking people over, robbing poor people of their jobs, stepping on the disabled, and cheating on my mom. He's a great guy once you get to know him, trust me." Jiro smiled and revealed a gold front tooth. Cheeky little devil.
"Got any ice?" said Kaoru from the mattress.
"Room next door," said Jiro before firing up a cigarette and taking a long drag.
"So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" said Jiro. "You seem like a good little kid."
Haruhi didn't know how to say, "I'm not a good little kid but I'm not a bad kid either," so she stayed silent.
"Haruhi's different," said Hikaru, taking the cigarette from Jiro and sucking on it at length, then handing it back to him.
"Different is she?" said Jiro with a twinkle in his eye. "We'll change you, Haruhi, we always do. I'll show you how to have fun."
Haruhi smiled weakly at him. Kaoru returned with glass beaker filled with clear bluish liquid.
"Needles?" he said.
"Underneath the pillow," said Jiro absent-mindedly. "Does Haruhi know what this stuff is?"
Haruhi wasn't sure why Jiro kept emphasizing her name.
"Hasn't really got a name," continued Jiro. "A little something a friend and I invented a couple of years ago. Don't really care for a name, as long as it's works. And baby, it works. It's my personal pick-me-up, sunflower-daisy-field, grade A alcohol, it's my love."
"Why do you need needles?" said Haruhi tentatively.
"How else are you gonna stick it in you?" said Jiro slyly, showing off his single gold tooth again.
Oh dear. Haruhi didn't like needles. At all.
Hikaru could sense the indecision in Haruhi's expression and said, "You don't have to. You can just…try to block out Jiro's stupid remarks and we'll give you a ride home, scot free."
Hikaru cleared his throat and Kaoru promptly said, "Of course. Just give me a second to get a dose and we'll leave right away."
The fact that Kaoru was itching to get some of this liquid stuff made Haruhi curious to try it.
"No, no" assured Haruhi, "I want to."
"Atta girl," said Jiro, "You won't regret it."
"Shut up, Jiro," said Hikaru, going to help Kaoru with the syringes.
"Are you sure those are sterile?" asked Haruhi.
"I don't know," said Jiro honestly, "Care to find out?"
"Yes, they are," Kaoru said, "That's why I wanted the ice. Don't worry, Haruhi, we won't let this idiot do anything to you."
Jiro gave a low chuckle and said, "I'm always the idiot of the party, aren't I? Well, at least I'm a happy idiot."
Haruhi gave a small laugh. Jiro's random babblings were starting to grow on her.
"Alright, all set," said Kaoru.
Jiro sprung to life, quickly leaving the corner and coming to sit beside Haruhi, a hungry lust in his eyes. "I'll go first," he said eagerly, stretching his hand out.
Kaoru handed him the syringe and Jiro rolled up his sleeve, feeling around the inside of his elbow for a tender spot. Haruhi saw small bruises and previous shot-holes on his arm. He put the needle flat against his inner elbow, and closed his eyes. Haruhi was shocked that he was about to inject a syringe into his arm with his eyes closed. But thankfully he opened his eyes after a moment and sucked in a breath as he pushed the needle in carefully, making sure not the puncture the vein from the other side. Haruhi had to turn away for a second, but eventually got used to the sight. She watched Kaoru and Hikaru next, each sterilizing the needle again before using it. Then it was her turn.
Her hand was shaking as she held the syringe and she had to steady herself before she could plunge it into her vein. She felt for a tender spot, just as the others had, and made sure to go for a noticeable vein. She dabbed the spot of injection with a cotton swab and alcohol before piercing her skin. Jiro was kind enough to guide her through it, telling her all the actions and signs she should look out for. He warned that if she felt a burning sensation, she should take the needle out immediately to prevent a blister from forming. Apart from his warning, she felt slightly confident that she would be fine. And she was. Shaking aside, she felt perfectly fine. However, her stomach started to turn and she ran to the window, flinging it open, and threw up out of it. Luckily no one was walking in the alley underneath. She heard Jiro and Kaoru laughing from behind her, and a giggling Hikaru ask if she was okay. After that, she was. She felt a surge of euphoria and every worry melted away. Jori whipped out a pack of playing cards, and giggling madly, suggested they play a game of cards to further enjoy Haruhi's first injection. She cheered and played, and her speech became slow and slurred. She felt suddenly sleepy, and before she knew it, she was drifting off into an alternate slumber.
She awoke two hours later, without a shirt on, and Jiro's legs on top of hers. He was snoring loudly, and Kaoru was smoking a cigarette by the open window. She disentangled herself from Jiro's legs and searched for her shirt frantically. Hikaru was slumbering on top of the magazines on the mattress.
"Don't worry, you didn't do anything like that," said Kaoru as if reading her mind. "And it's only 6 in the evening, so it's doubtful your father has alerted the police yet."
Haruhi sighed, relieved, and joined Kaoru by the window. The cold air felt good against her warm skin.
"So how did you like it?" asked Kaoru, smiling at her.
"I liked it," said Haruhi sleepily. After a few minutes, "Why did you keep this whole life of yours a secret from everyone?"
Kaoru, who had never really shown much maturity - except when compared to Hikaru, said, "Everyone has secrets. The Host Club…it's not just roses and smiles. Everyone's got their own dirty secret that they don't want anyone else to know, but the thing is, everyone does know. We just don't tell the others we do. I'm sure Kyouya knows about what Hikaru and I do, and I'm sure Tamaki does too. I'm sure Tamaki knows that we know that he had sex with one of his French maids, just like his father, when he was only 14. Everyone knows how Hunny got so mad at his father one day, that when they were fighting for practice, he really meant to harm him. His father was in the hospital for two months, and Hunny kept saying it was an accident when it wasn't. Mori…he's got a whole life of regret and secrets. We're just sympathetic enough not to mention these things." Kaoru snorted sarcastically. "And now you have a dirty secret too."
Haruhi looked out of the window at Japan. Down the street was the prestigious Ouran Academy, but just a few blocks down was a neighborhood of crime and filth. It was funny how two parts of her life were so well integrated.
"You don't think…people will think less of me?" asked Haruhi.
"How can I tell?" said Kaoru. "As long as you don't tell anyone, you'll be fine. It's kind of fun, having a big secret."
"And about Kyouya…"
"Kyouya's a jackass," snapped Kaoru. "He's the most fucked up out of any of us. He's just so damn private. He probably has a thousand things to be ashamed of, but no one knows. It's too bad he can't keep his shitty personality a secret too. I'm not even sure if the Kyouya we see at the Host Club is the real Kyouya." And then he said, "Don't think over what he said to you. He's just a petulant little snot who says whatever he can to make others feel just as miserable as he is. Truly fucked up kid, I'm telling you."
"I don't hate him though," said Haruhi thoughtfully. "I really should, and I bet he probably hates me, but I can't bring myself to hate him. I've never hated anyone before."
"There are a lot of things to dislike about Kyouya, but not many to hate," said Kaoru. "He's tolerable to an extent, but today was just weird…he's never blown up like that before. You must have struck a nerve."
"I don't know what nerve," said Haruhi. "But you're right: there's a lot more to Kyouya Otori than meets the eye, and I want to find out."
Hikaru mumbled something in his sleep, causing Haruhi to jump, but he only rolled to his other side.
"Was Jiro the one who got you into this?" she asked.
"I guess, yeah," said Kaoru, taking another drag on the neglected cigarette. "Technically we're not supposed to see Jiro anymore. Once you're kicked out of your family, you're kicked out of the entire rich society. But we liked him - he was funny and unusual and a good laugh. He lives here most of the time, but it's only his drug refuge or whatever. He bums at his friend's places and he's trying to get enough money to buy an apartment of his own. Hikaru and I needed some kind of release. Things were just so messed up. I mean, our family is not perfect, our school grades definitely aren't, we hardly had any friends, and we were so sheltered and cut off from everything. We've met people, been places thanks to Jiro. He's a good guy."
"I'm not ashamed of any of this," said Haruhi, as if to reassure him. "I feel the exact same way. Like I just didn't know anything, but here I am. I'm enjoying these new experiences and it's like Jiro said, you have to make something of life. I have my whole life to be serious and practical, so why can't I take advantage of being a kid and have fun?"
"I'm glad you're getting some insight out of this," said Kaoru. "Most people just fuck up and get addicted, all for nothing. If you're going to do drugs, they have to mean something to you. Something more than a perk-up; that's just a stupid excuse."
"Mm."
They stood like that for another hour, quiet and peaceful as they watched the sunset, before they woke up Hikaru and it was time to leave. Jiro winked at Haruhi again, and she found herself smiling at him and saying she wished to see him soon. She had a feeling she would.
When she arrived home, Haruhi was not surprised to find that her father wasn't home yet. Her first thought was that he was still at work, but Kyouya's words floated back to her - was he really at work?
She cursed herself for letting Kyouya get to her, but it was just so unusual for someone to get under her skin like he did that she couldn't dismiss him immediately. She was willing to give Kyouya a second chance, if he was smart enough to take it.
