Well, this year was turning out to be boring. I thought Senior year was meant to be fun and slightly care free...yeah right. We had constant reminders about SATs, which I am not looking forward, and other tests as such. It was tiresome. Nothing really happened. We just went about with our lives, waiting for the next big thing to happen. Unfortunately, the next best thing was in two weeks which I wasn't looking forward to despite it being told it was a major event that revolved around me.
"Come on, you must be a little bit excited with turning eighteen," Ray commented as we sat at our seats in English. He sat in front of me as Gerard sat to my side. Ray was turned in his seat so he could talk to us.
I'm not excited at all about turning eighteen. Birthdays really didn't hold any appeal to me, unless they were someone else's. It was just a day that signified my birth, nothing special about it but it was nice to have all my friends and...what remains of my family crowd around me. It just didn't seem like a big deal to me.
"Not really. To me, it's just another day," I commented, doodling on my notebook.
"A day when we give you presents and worship you," Gerard said. I snort a little.
"You worship me anyway so what's new?" I say with a slight laugh.
"Well, the presents will be new," Ray said, with a smile. I smile back.
"Seriously guys, you don't need to get me anything."
"Will you shut up with that? You are getting presents," Gerard stated.
"You don't have to..."
"Andy..." Gerard warned. I was quiet after that. I always thought it was a bother to others for getting me presents. Just there company was enough for me, they didn't need to buy me anything but they are persistent.
"So got any plans for it?" Ray asked. I shook my head.
"Not really, just you guys coming over. Oh, and Uncle Josh is gonna come over." I'll admit I'm really excited about that. It had been ages since I saw Uncle Josh and Gregg and I missed them, same went for Reese.
"Bet Frank's gonna love that," Gerard commented. I laugh a little. Uncle Josh and Frank had a...unique friendship. The two always flirted with each other, which worried the majority of us. We know that it's just joking but...it was still slightly weird.
"Why are we even talking about my birthday when it's in a fortnight?" I ask. Ray just shrugged.
"Was just curious, is all. Now, I won't be the only eighteen year old."
"Your own fault for being older," I said.
"Yeah, cause I had the power to when my parents conceived me," He answered back.
"With that fro and your ninja abilities, I wouldn't put it past you." We laugh but I realize that Gerard's not laughing really. He seems...annoyed more than anything. He hasn't mentioned anything that would have been annoying him lately. I wonder what's up. I feel like he's keeping something from me...
The bell rang, disturbing my thoughts. What do I have next...ah, crap. History. I really, REALLY can't be bothered with Jake today. He's been a lot more frontal lately and repelling him has cost me a few of my afternoons. I gathered my books, contemplating on if I should go in or just ditch. Ditching seemed like a really good idea.
"You okay?" I look up and see Gerard staring down at me, looking slightly worried. Ray was now beside him, wearing a similar expression.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"You got a little pale when you heard the bell. Is everything alright?" Gerard asked.
"Yeah, everything's fine," I reply, not sounding very convincing.
"Are you sure?" Ray added.
"Yes. I am fine." It came out a little harsher than I meant it. I regret it as soon as I saw their faces falter slightly. I just sigh.
"I'll see you guys later." I walk ahead of them, not bothering to wait for a reply back. I didn't want to leave like that. I'm such a bitch for leaving like that. I'll apologize and beg for forgiveness when I see them. As I turn a corner towards my History class, I see the very thing that is causing me such grief entering the class. He spotted me and smirked, making a kissy face before entering.
That's it, I'm outta here.
I walked past the class, not looking in or bothering to hide my face. I quickly left the school, making sure no teachers were lurking about. I start to relax as I am at a safe distance. My next target area is the playground near the park. It's where we always went when we all decided to ditch. When we were younger, Donna and Donald would take me and Reese as well as their own sons here sometimes during the summer. Sometimes we even just hang out there, earning many questionable looks of parents of other children.
It didn't take long to get there and it was quiet so it was even better. It was quite a large playground with a sort of small jungle gym in the centre, a see-saw to the side, a merry-go-round and a swing set. I make my way to the swing set and take a seat, removing my bag and sitting it beside me. I grip the chains that held the swing and move back and forth slightly.
I enjoy being by myself here at times; it just gives me time to think I guess. I love spending time with the guys but just having time and space for myself was good for me. I don't have anyone coming to me, asking if I'm fine and such. I guess it means they care but it doesn't mean it can't be annoying at times.
It was last period at school so I have about an hour of pure peace until I get a call from Gerard or Reese asking why I'm not waiting at the entrance. Something has been bothering me about Gerard for a while now. It goes back to that day in the cafe, where I think he tried to kiss me. My mind tries to re-create the whole thing and predict what would have happened if we weren't interrupted. Would he have gone through with the kiss? What would have happened if he did?
I want to talk to him about it but sometimes he gets embarrassed and flustered with stuff and I didn't want a fight on top of everything else right now. It will probably lie as one of those mysteries that will never be solved or something.
I feel a vibration in my jeans pocket. I dive in and pull out my phone. A text. From Gerard. I open it and read the contents.
Sorry for annoying you. Hope your not mad xoxo
I smile slightly at the text. He thought he annoyed me when I feel like I acted like a total bitch to him. I text him back.
No, Im sorry. I acted like a bitch x
My reply soon came.
No. Me and Ray were being annoying asking you. Our fault xoxo
It's not your fault x
You would tell me if something was up though right? Xoxo
I contemplated for a moment before typing.
Actually, yeah, something has been bothering me since last year. Jake Hanks, you know the ripped stoner, has been making advances on me and won't leave me alone no matter what I do. He makes dirty comments to me and looks at me like a piece of meat. I hate him and want him to leave me alone. He tries to touch me and get me to go out with him but probs not the proper way. Will you help me to put a stop to all of this? X
My thumb hovers over send. If I sent this then it could mean the whole Jake thing could be resolved or it could me Gerard gets hurt along with the other. If Jake tried to hurt any of them, I would not hesitate to hurt him in any way I can.
I press the delete button, watching as all of my words disappear from the screen and are soon replaced.
Of course I would. Your my best friend. You know too much ;) x
Just double checking so hows history? Xoxo
I'm not in History x
Yes you are xoxo
I ditched x
Why? IS SOMETHING WRONG? Xoxo
He's getting worried and slightly angry now if he's going into full caps.
I just couldnt deal with it now. You know? X
Where r u then? Xoxo
The playground x
His reply didn't come at his usual pace. He must have been caught by his teacher of something. After five minutes, I place my phone back in my pocket and resume my thinking.
Jake was really getting to me. I don't know why he's became more up in my face lately. If he stayed at his usual pace then I could have dealt with it but no, he decided to up his game of course. And why me though? There are a hell of lot pretty girls than me that would be up for what he probably had in mind so why does he want me?
I look down at the ground, kicking the wood shavings a little. This is when I wish someone was beside me. Yes I want to be by myself but I could really use a hug right now. A big, warm hug that makes me feel safe but I'm all on my own for the moment...
"Andy."
I look up from the ground and see Gerard standing before me, looking slightly out of breath and his face flushed. He must have ran from the school to here. He had his jacket and bag with him meaning he was planning to stay.
"Gerard?" I said. He knew I was questioning him just by saying his name.
"I couldn't sit in class knowing you were here by yourself." He moved to the swing next to mine, never looking away from me.
"You didn't have to come," I say, looking away.
"Andy, please tell me what's wrong." His voice sounding desperate. I shake my head.
"Nothing..."
"Don't you give me that. Now tell me." Gerard was going to be stubborn about this. I sighed loudly, thinking of something to feed him.
"I just...feel down I guess."
"Why?" I shrug.
"Dunno. Just a feeling."
"Something must have brought it on." Gerard reaches out grasps my hand within his. I look at him, seeing his hazel eyes shining as they look into my green eyes. Anytime I looked into them, they made my insides all warm and mushy. It was just an effect Gerard's eyes had on me. I'm usual a blue eyed girl but I loved Gerard's hazel eyes and his only.
"I don't know. I'm really sorry Gerard but I can't tell you what's wrong if I don't know myself." Argh! I hate lying to him! I wanted nothing more than to tell him and get it off my chest but I'm too afraid that he could get hurt himself. I feel his hand's grip get tighter.
"Alright then, is there anything I can do to help?" I smile at him slightly.
"Actual, yes." His eyes flash as he begins to speak.
"What? What is it?" I laugh lightly at his enthusiasm.
"I could really use a hug. I know it may not seem much to you but it would help me a lot." He nodded with no hesitation.
"Of course." Gerard let go of my hand as he got up from his swing. I followed him and stood close to him, keeping my hands to my chest. He knew what I wanted and wrapped his arms around me. He knew I enjoyed holding onto his top of jacket on his chest more than wrapping my arms around him. I do wrap my arms around people for hugs but I always felt safe when I was encased in arms.
He holds me tight as I grip onto his jacket and bury my face into his shoulder. Something stirs inside me as this occurs. It's warm and sticky. I don't know what it is. It wasn't hunger or I was feeling sick. What the hell is this? I feel Gerard move his head so it is soon beside mine. He kisses the side of my face, just on my right temple.
"I'll always be here for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy," He whispered into my ear, his breath hot. I smile slightly.
"Just having you here makes me happy."
Where the hell did that come from? I felt his grip tighten a little as I say it. Yes, it makes me happy that he was here with me but...the way I said it was weird. It's like I have no control over what I am doing right now. I have never felt like this before but...I think I like it.
Gerard parted from me slightly so he could look at me. He gave me a smile that just made the feeling intensify. What was going on?
"School is probably nearly finished. If we leave now, we can catch Reese and Mikey so they don't get worried." I nod, knowing we would need to go.
"Yeah," I reply. Gerard moves away from me, going to grab my bag and hanging it on his shoulder.
"I can take that..." He just shakes his head at me.
"It's fine." He holds his hand out to me. I stare at it for a moment before placing my hand in it. Instead of letting him grip it, I entwined our fingers together. He seemed startled by this but smiled, showing his little white teeth before moving forward, taking me with him.
This feels...right.
The next day, I felt great. That little thing with Gerard yesterday really helped. Sure it was just a hug and a few words exchanged but...I couldn't help but feel happy. I really don't understand but I don't care. Ray ended up giving me an apology as well but I told him it was my fault and it started the whole 'no it was me' thing until we went off track and just laughed. The cherry on top of it all was that Jake wasn't in History, leaving me to study in peace and actually enjoy the class.
Class was done in a flash. I stayed behind to explain my absence to the teacher and get any work I may have missed. By the time I had got all my things, the halls were nearly empty. I didn't bother to run or anything as I have Art now and I wouldn't get into any real trouble if I explain it to my teacher.
When I was closing in on the stairs, someone had grabbed my wrist and jerked me towards a wall. I grunt a little as my back connected with it hard. The hand was still gripping my wrist and another one grabbed my other wrist, pinning them above me on the wall. My breath hitched a little as I saw Jake standing there, looking at me like some hungry animal about to devour it's prey. He licked his lips before speaking in a raspy voice.
"About time you actual learn who you belong to..."
Hehehe...sorry about the wait. I actual strggled a lot with this chap and I hate it! Well, thank you for reading. You want to know what happens? Well, you're gonna have to read on :P ta ta!
