Blizzard

Everyone loves the boys and snow and kissing, so it stands to reason that more snow will mean more kissing, and that you will all like that even more… right?

Disclaimer- Not mine, never has been. Sadface.

Sirius Black was freaking out.

He was, at that very moment, trapped in the shrieking shack with Remus Lupin as a blizzard raged outside. Now, don't get me wrong, Remus Lupin was a great person to have around when you were going to be anywhere for an extended period of time. He was warm and funny and no topic of conversation was taboo, he always had a shockingly ribald joke handy and he would pretend as though it was perfectly manly and acceptable for Sirius to squeal like a girl and flail his arms about whenever he caught sight of a cockroach. Remus always had a rather astonishing amount of chocolate upon his person at any given time and could recount every story he had ever read. In short Remus was amazing.

Therein lay the problem.

Remus was so amazing that Sirius had gone and fallen in love with him. Every bit of him, from his shaggy hair right down to his thin, knobbly toes, from his intelligence and maturity to his childish, and not-so-childish fears. The good and the bad, the fantastic and the terrible, Sirius loved it all. He had decided a little while ago that loving Remus was both the stupidest and best thing he'd ever done. Mind you, it was a rocky road to his acceptance of these feelings. In the beginning he couldn't quite identify why he felt differently about his quiet friend, why he was always more gentle with, and protective of the boy. Then the dreams began. Wow, they were glorious… but terrifying because Sirius finally understood. He had sulked for a week before he resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't able to change a thing about it, and also that he must never say anything to Remus because he could lose his friend, and a life without Remus wouldn't ever be anything more than a half-life.

So here was Sirius, stuck in the shack with Remus, huddled together under a single, dusty blanket and Remus' overcoat busily trying to control the fierce thumping in his chest. And it was all James' fault.

Stupid bloody James.

James 'Gitface' Potter, as he was to be known from now on, had, for reasons known only to himself, decided that knickers were so-called because you were supposed to steal them. Specifically, he was to steal a pair of Lily Evans' knickers. Sirius and Remus had decided that they rather liked being alive and would therefore have no part in the planning, execution and aftermath of the scheme and had beat a hasty retreat after first checking if James preferred burial or cremation.

Remus and Sirius had ventured out into the wintery grounds Joking and running. They had talked and teased and walked and pondered, they had speculated on this, that and the other and were generally having too much fun to notice that the light snow fall they had wandered into was getting steadily heavier. Soon, though it was too thick to ignore and they had taken the nearest shelter available to them. The shrieking shack.

Away from the blizzard, inside the shack, under the blanket (and now both of their overcoats), deep inside Sirius Black there was a strange and, quite honestly, ridiculously girly trembling. The outer Sirius Black merely squirmed and said

"Merlin! Moony, you have the coldest elbows in the entire history of elbows. Ever."

Remus grinned.

"If you think they're bad, you should feel my hands!" With that Sirius felt two thin, rough and bloody freezing hands on his stomach. At first he sat there, eyes bulging, totally disbelieving that Remus' glorious hands were on his stomach, tracing a line just above his belly-button then he realised just how cold they were.

"Merlin's balls, Moony!" He yelled leaping up and retreating across the musty room.

Remus merely chuckled under the blanket, his face lit up with his smile.

"At least now my elbows won't seem so bad." He laughed his deep, throaty laugh and bit his lip attempting to look innocent, but Sirius decided that sultry was a better word for the expression.

"Are you coming back? You'll freeze over there." He patted the floor beside him, "Please?"

"Well, only if you promise not to do that again." Sirius replied, already moving back to sit where he had been.

"Promise."

The next few minutes were spent with both boys trying to get comfortable in silence. This silence stretched on for a little while longer, both boys resting their heads on the wall, eyes shut. For a little while Sirius thought Remus was asleep, but he realised that the boy was staring at the roof. Staring at where the room he went through his monthly transformation was. No, not staring, glaring. Glaring with red rimmed, angry eyes.

"Are you okay, Moons?"

"Sometimes I forget, you know. Silly isn't it? But I forget and I feel light and happy and almost normal. It used to play on my mind day in and day out when I was young. I grew up knowing there was no monster under my bed because he slept in it… But then I came here, and met you three daft boys and I suddenly had friends and schoolwork and some idea of what other people have. I was so excited about getting my first piece of homework, because to me it meant I really was staying, that Dumbledore wouldn't burst in the door and tell me there had been a mistake and a monster like me had no place here. I was accepted and I started having moments when I could forget, those moments stretched out to minutes, and over the years have become hours and days… and those are great. But it just makes it hurt that tiny bit more when I remember." Remus didn't take his eyes off the roof.

"But Moony, you're brilliant! You're intelligent and funny, you're always kind to the firsties…"

"I know Pads, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a monster. It doesn't make me like everyone else."

"I'm not normal either, Moony."

"Having an awful family doesn't make you essentially different, it sucks, but you're still normal."

"I didn't mean that bollocks."

"What?" now Remus had shifted his focus from the roof to Sirius.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I'm queer." Sirius stated matter-of factly. A chance to test the waters and reassure Remus, this could not fail.

"Yeah, you said you were different, but how so?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Merlin help us, I'm QUEER Moony… Homosexual. Gay. A poof… Queer."

Remus just stared mutely at Sirius for a while.

"What?" He finally asked.

"I am gay, Moony."

"Wow."

"Wow?"

"Yeah, wow. What did you expect me to say?"

"I don't know. I've never told anyone, but 'wow' isn't in any way the reaction I expected."

"Did you think I would be repulsed? Did you think I would hate you?" Remus' cheeks flushed a bit at this, Sirius knew this meant the boy was controlling his temper.

"No! Moony, I knew that you of all people would understand, I just never saw an appropriate time to tell you before. What was I supposed to do? At breakfast one morning should I have said 'Eurgh, hamsteaks again, I hate hamsteaks. What I don't hate is cock. Yeah, I love cock because I'm gay'? Would that have been better?"

"No, I suppose not. Sorry Sirius." Remus looked upset, so Sirius nudged him playfully to show that it was all okay.

"It's okay Moons, us freaks need to stick together."

"I don't think you're a freak, Pads."

"Yeah, well, I don't think that you're a monster, you pillock."

Remus smiled and gazed down at the toes of his shoes, poking timidly out of the blankets.

"I think I've still got you beat." Remus mused.

"No way! Heaps more people are afraid of gays, especially if we include muggles, some of them are afraid of homosexuals but they don't believe in werewolves."

"Hmmm. What about gay werewolves?"

Sirius had the distinct impression that he had been hearing things.

"Come again?"

"I said 'What about gay werewolves?'"

"Ah… right." Sirius had no idea what to say. All he knew is that the inner trembling had gotten worse and suddenly decided to manifest itself as a shiver.

"Are you cold?" Remus asked, suddenly concerned, he put one arm around Sirius, pulling him into a tight hug while arranging the blanket to reach over Sirius' shoulder.

"M'fine. Thanks." He managed. Remus sighed happily.

"Do you think Lily's killed James yet?" Remus asked quietly, now resting his head atop Sirius'.

"If she hasn't killed him yet, it's only because she isn't done torturing him."

Remus chuckled quietly.

"Poor bugger', he mused "he loves her so much, he just needs to find a sane way to show her."

"Love isn't sane, though is it Moony? It's blind. It's exhilarating. It's gazing into an abyss and looking forward to the fall...It's… Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Someone's in love!" Remus crowed.

"No, I-I…"

"You have to be if you know what it feels like! Don't deny it Pads."

"Well, maybe,' Sirius was suddenly very concerned about the direction the conversation was taking, "Hang on, if you know that I know what it feels like, by your own argument you're in love too."

Sirius couldn't repress a smug grin as Remus blushed, but he feared that he may be about to have his heart broken if he asked the question on the tip of his tongue. Oh well, curiosity killed the cat and all that bollocks.

"Who is he?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus exhaled a slow, sad breath. He suddenly found his hands very interesting.

"He is unobtainable." Remus gazed mournfully at Sirius.

"What, is he straight?"

"No, it's not that. I just don't think he'd be interested in me."

Sirius stared aghast at his friend.

"Not want you?'. He repeated the words as though they felt rough and foreign in his mouth, "you're great! You're beautiful and caring and sometimes, when you start daydreaming and you suck on your sugar quill, and the sunlight from the window near your favourite spot in the library hits your hair just-so… you're perfection. He'd have to be demented, deranged… Absolutely fucking crazy not to want you."

Remus' face had split into a wide grin.

"Well, madness does run in your family." Remus quipped.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Bleeding hell you're dense sometimes Pads, you're denser than dense things. You are denseness personified."

Sirius was just working up enough energy to be affronted when Remus leant in and kissed him square on the mouth.

"Oh… I see." Sirius said quietly before he kissed Remus back with gusto.

By the time the weather cleared and a frantic, and somewhat bruised, James came to find them Sirius and Remus had kissed each other into oblivion and were asleep on the dusty floor of the shack.

"What were you two doing while you were in here?" James asked after he woke them and as he helped them up from the floor.

" Keeping warm." Sirius grabbed a hold of Remus' hand, "with lots of snogging."

"Snogging?"

"Damn straight."

"No, Pads, neither of you are. It's about bloody time!" James strode imperiously out of the room. Sirius shrugged, leaned over and was about to give Remus another kiss.

"ARE YOU TWO POOFS COMING OR NOT?"

Remus smiled that world-weary smile and sighed as he pulled Sirius towards the door.

"First chance we get, I say we do unspeakable things on his bed, and keep quiet about it until graduation." Sirius whispered.

"Deal. But only if we can back it up with photographic evidence."

"Gods, I love you, Moony."

"I love you too, Sirius." Remus ran his thumb gently along the back of Sirius' hand, holding on right up until they got back to the dorm alone and his hands were called away to other places.

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