Buffy had been dreading this, and had put it off as long as possible. But the day had finally come where she couldn't avoid it any longer. The scooby gang had cornered her in the Magic Box one late afternoon with a fresh pizza and would only hand it over if she agreed to help look for some answers. It was time... for a research party.

"OK, with the hippie vodnik, uh what was that one called?" Buffy asked, settling in at the table with the rest of the group around the pizza box.

"The Joiner," Spike replied, leaning against the register counter.

"Right, him. Well we didn't manage to break his cup, so we should figure out how to destroy it when he comes back," she continued. "It looked like it was made of silver or something. I'm not sure how we can break that stuff down."

"Looked like tin to me," Spike replied, crossing his arms. "Old too."

"How could you tell?" Willow asked around her pizza slice.

"Those little imprints on the side," Spike said. "Looked like the decorative punched tin cups me mum fancied."

"Well how do we break it?" Xander asked.

"Hell if I know," Spike replied. "Try standin' out in the rain with it so it rusts like the tin man."

"Technically tin oxidizes, not rusts," Willow said. When she got some tired looks she continued. "Sorry. It's something that got drilled in my head whenever we watched Wizard of Oz for Thanksgiving. I think Giles had a bunch of tin cans left in the basement. I'm gonna grab some and start experimenting." She finished up her pizza slice, wiped off her hands, and stood up.

"Thanks, Willow," Buffy called after her as she headed for the basement door. Willow smiled back, clearly eager to help out.

"I guess we should also try to find out more about what the vodniks are after," Buffy said.

"Well we know they want your soul, Buff," Xander replied.

"Yeah, but" Tara cut in. "The surfer one, the Seeker, said that the soul was only a third of the human spirit. And he took our memories instead."

"Right," Buffy replied. "So we should look up everything we can about memory."

"And the doctor guy went after Spike's heart," Dawn said.

"The Refiner, yeah," Buffy replied. "I want to know what heartlessness does, and how to get a heart back."

"Didn't Spike get his heart back?" Anya asked.

"Yeah, but," Buffy said, shifting in her seat. "I want to be prepared in case that doesn't happen next time." Spike stared pointedly at Buffy at her remark. Buffy did her best to ignore him.

"Willow and I already did a ton of research on the soul back when she was trying to restore Angel's," Xander said. "I don't know how much more we're gonna learn there."

"If anything we need to figure out how memory, heart, and soul all relate to each other," Buffy said. "The Seeker seemed to think Giles's books were wrong. I wonder if there's some different perspectives in these other books."

"All right, guess we better start looking then," Xander said, standing up. Everyone moved to grab some various books, except Anya, who parked herself behind the computer to do some inventory logging. Willow came back up the stairs as the research began in earnest and put a box with ingredients on the register counter.

"What ya got there, Red?" Spike asked, flipping through a book as Willow started putting different bowls on the counter and filling them with bottled water.

"Figured I'd just soak some cans for a bit and see what the most effective ingredients are," Willow replied. "Just water for this one, salt water here, and water with vinegar in this one." She started mixing the ingredients together.

"Hey, Buffy?" Tara called. "I'm reading the foreword to this Spells of Memory book... And this bit here is pretty interesting."

"Lay it on me," Buffy said.

"Memory can be likened to the focusing lens for the light of the soul," Tara said, beginning to read aloud. "If you shine a pure white light though a prism, like a good human soul, you can see a rainbow of colors. But if you shine the black empty void of a vampire's lack of soul though a prism, you see nothing. A set of memories define and shape a person's thoughts and experiences, changing the composition of that rainbow, making it brighter or dimmer, but a vampire's memories do nothing to affect their lack of soul. It is for this reason that memory adjustment spells are not completely forbidden. Removing a person's memories will not change a person's true nature the way removing their soul would."

"Hmm," Buffy said. "I guess that jives with how we all acted without our memories."

"I think," Tara said, turning away from the book and looking at Buffy. "Memories can hurt us or heal us, depending on which ones we dwell on. So if we're stuck feeling like there's nothing but bad, we have to make some good." Her eyes drifted over to where Willow was standing, and Buffy followed her gaze.

"Friends have their own demons too," Buffy muttered.

"Yeah, but a person can only fight theirs alone for so long," Tara replied. "It's why we have to help out one another. Some things, when you lose them, you lose them forever, so we only have our memories to remind us of them. We can either live in our memories of the way things used to be, or make a good life without those things. But we can never really go back to the way things were."

Buffy stared hard at Tara, taking in what she said. Buffy wasn't sure if Tara was just talking about her own experiences or if she knew more about Buffy then she let on, but her words really hit home. Whatever that means.

"S'not always about making things better or fixing what's broken, Glinda," Spike chimed in, close enough to hear their conversation. "Sometimes it's just about making do with what we have."

"Like how you make do with a heart but no soul?" Tara asked with a knowing smile.

Spike shrugged. "Every dog has his day," he replied. "Yours is coming soon, Buffy."

Buffy shook her head, trying to clear it so she could focus on the concept of memory in the abstract.

"The Seeker was going on and on about how humans place too much importance on the soul," she said, returning to the subject of the research. "Is there anything about memory being part of a trinity or trifecta alongside the soul?"

"Let me see," Tara replied, skimming the foreword for more information. She settled on a paragraph further down the page, and began to read aloud again.

"There is one strange exception that have caused some to question the memory as a prism concept: the Memory Declivity spell," Tara read. "Used sparingly, this spell is conjured up to downgrade a happy memory into a sad one. In one extreme case, a sorcerer tortured a man into losing every happy memory he had ever experienced by replacing them with misery and despair. His victim's instant madness and cruelty was so extreme that some believe the soul was ejected from his body upon completion of the spell."

"Like a vampire?" Buffy asked.

"No demon to take its place, sounds like," Spike replied. "Doesn't have the benefits or the need to drink blood, just the lack of morals."

"Babbage and his contemporary disciples believed that memory served as the seat of the soul as interconnected and balanced pieces," Tara continued. "They theorized that the victim's memories had been eroded so badly that they could not support the soul, causing it to come crashing down and be destroyed. In conjunction with other memory spells, they believed that erasing a person's memory entirely was like pulling the rug out from beneath the soul, sending it flying up to be caught by other elements of the human spirit before a person either regained their memory or formed new ones to seat the soul again."

"Other elements being the heart, I guess," Buffy supplied.

"Babbage's memory as a seat theory most likely places undue weight on the importance of memory and requires a third element to effect the balance of the human soul," Tara kept reading. "So the memory as a prism theory is widely accepted to be the more likely of the two. The Memory Declivity spell has been banned from use... and yada yada yada... it just goes on," Tara finished.

"Hey, did you say Babbage?" Spike asked excitedly, getting the attention of everyone else nearby.

"Yeah," Tara replied.

"There are some theories that," Spike began reading aloud from his own book. "Much like the soul, the heart is an intangible balancing element of the human spirit, and not merely a metaphor for the emotional center of the brain. Outside of Babbage's theorems and his small circle of followers, this has mostly been dismissed as fantasy." He held up the book he was reading. "The Metaphysical Mind," he said, supplying the title. "The only mention of a heart in the whole damn thing."

"Let me check the inventory to see if we have Babbage's Theorems," Anya said, overhearing the reference and looking up the book on the computer. "Umm, one copy, in the basement. Must not have been a hot seller for Giles," she said.

"I'll go see if I can find it," Spike offered. "Any clues as to where it'd be?"

Anya shrugged helplessly. "Probably in a box somewhere with the other discarded books."

"Right then, if I'm not back in an hour, send help," he said, heading towards the basement. "Preferably in the form of a scantily clad Slayer."

"I wish you guys still had to sneak around with this stuff," Xander said once Spike had disappeared down the stairs. "Spike being so blatant with his ogling of you is weirding me out.

"Was he ever really that subtle about it before, though?" Buffy asked. "Or did you just really not want to see it?"

The front door chimed as it opened, and everyone tried to go back to looking like a casual group of people just shopping in a magic store, not researching soul collecting water demons. Buffy glanced towards the front door, and raised an eyebrow when she saw a hand waving a white handkerchief sticking though.

"White flag!" said the voice on the other side of the door. "I come in peace!" Everyone turned their attention to the door then, to see it open up and reveal the person standing in the sunset dusk on the other side.

"Harmony?!" Xander shouted.

"Hi everyone," she said cheerily, as if she were just greeting some old friends.

"You got some nerve coming back here after everything you've done," Buffy said quietly.

"But that's exactly why I'm back!" she said, putting her hands up defensively. "I'm here to make a ton of mens."

"You mean make amends?" Willow asked, trying to speak the strange Harmony language. "What brought this on?"

"I'm trying to get a cushy new job at this elite law firm in L.A.," she replied. "They're willing to hire vampires and demons and stuff. Very equal opportunity."

"That sounds kind of... evil," Xander said.

"I know, right?" Harmony exclaimed. "You'd think they would have no problem with me being the Slayer's mortal enemy, but at my interview they gave me some sort of story about how I threw their plans all out of balance or something and that I need to make things right with Buffy."

"And how exactly do you plan to do that?" Buffy asked, walking up to her.

"I dunno, they said I could help you out by giving you information or something," Harmony said. "Maybe I could spill some dirt on Spike if you're still trying to get him out of your hair. Although..." She lifted her head, making loud sniffing noises towards Buffy. "You smell like an old trunk."

Harmony's eyes widened, and she stepped back away from Buffy slowly, raising her voice to project her announcement. "I know what I have to tell you all, now," she said dramatically. "Buffy is sleeping with Spike."

There was an awkward pause before Anya spoke up. "Um, yeah. We know," she said.

"Oh," Harmony said, her face falling. "Well that's kinda desperate and slutty, isn't it?" she asked.

"Hey!" Buffy shouted. "Is this supposed to be your idea of helping us out?" she said.

"Spike has been part of our group for a while now," Dawn cut in. "He actually helps out a lot. Buffy and Spike together makes more sense to me than you being here."

"Wait, so Spike gets to turn over a new leaf and be one of the good guys but I can't?" Harmony said. "That's not fair!"

"Spike has a chip in his head that prevents him from killing," Xander replied. "What's stopping you from doing harm... Harm?"

Buffy looked over at Xander in surprise. He was the last person she ever expected to stand up for Spike, and yet, there he was.

"You could at least give me a chance," Harmony whined. "Let me prove you wrong."

"Or prove us right," Willow said.

"Well, I found it but it smells like death, and not the yummy kind," Spike said, coming up from the basement as he brushed dust off a book in his hands. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Harmony standing over by the front door. "Oh for the love of- Hi Harm."

"Blondie Bear!" Harmony exclaimed, giving her most winning smile.

"Hey now, you shot me with a crossbow last we parted ways," Spike said, looking unamused. "'Sides, I'm not in the market for a bird."

"So I heard," Harmony replied, giving Buffy a sidelong glance. "The Slayer of Slayers sleeping with one? Pretty twisted, Spike."

"Yeah..." he replied with a wistful smile to Buffy. "Great, isn't it?"

"Look," Harmony said, releasing an exasperated sigh. "Can you at least tell them all that I'm a reformed woman?"

"Are you now?" Spike asked, raising a single brow. "Was that crossbow bolt in my back supposed to be your reformation?"

"You were the bad guy!" Harmony argued.

"Was not," Spike countered. "Just got a little confused that day with Drusilla back and all the ladies doing a number on me. I was still more of a white hat than you were."

"But you know I could be a good guy too right?" she asked. "You could sense the goodness in me? That's why I could never do the whole evil routine right. Because I was too good deep down inside."

"Right, sure. You keep telling yourself that," Spike said, before turning his attention to Buffy. "Love, we've got more important things to worry about than this daft bint. This book is massive."

Spike dropped the book down on the table where Tara had been researching, and opened to the table of contents. "There's over a hundred pages about the heart," Tara said, looking in awe at the book.

"Not exactly a bit of light reading, is it?" Spike quipped.

Harmony wandered over behind them as they were all looking at the book, coming to a stop by Willow's science experiment on the register counter. "Why are you sitting your tin cans in water?" she asked Willow. "Are you washing them for a craft project or something?"

"Oh, um, we're trying to get them to corrode," Willow said. "So we can see what mixture will destroy them as fast as possible."

"Oh, you can do that with just a bit of vinegar, salt, and hydrogen peroxide," Harmony replied. "It'll take about ten minutes to corrode the metal though."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared in wonder at Harmony.

"What? " she asked. "My grandma really liked decorating with the rustic California gold rush style and would buy stuff new and rust it herself. She had me help her out with it tons of times."

"Harmony, that's..." Buffy said. "Actually incredibly helpful."

"Really?" Harmony asked, beaming back at her. "That's great! I guess my work here is done!"

Before she could say another word, the front door flew open, the chimes jangling angrily. Jonathan burst through the doorway, looking around the room wildly while taking in big gulps of air. He spun around and peeked back out the door before slamming it closed behind him and throwing his back up against it. "Uh... hi guys," he said, trying to catch his breath.

"Jonathan?" Buffy asked. She hadn't seen him since his little spell to make the whole world revolve around him. "Are you OK?"

"Y-yeah," he replied with an uneasy smile. "...No. Buffy, I have a confession to make." He walked over to stand in front of Buffy, twiddling his fingers and failing to make eye contact, still breathing heavily. "I'm part of a group... We were, uh... The Trio."

"The who what now?" Buffy asked.

"Warren, Andrew, and I formed an alliance to take over the city," he said. "And since you're the Slayer, we knew we had to get you out of the picture first. We were responsible for messing with your timeframe at college, demons at your construction job, and making you repeat the same customer over and over here in this store."

"What?! That was one of the worst non-life-altering days I've ever had!" Buffy exclaimed. "And trying to take over the city? Why would you want to do that?"

"Well, we wanted to be supervillians," he replied sheepishly.

"You know supervillians never win, right?" Buffy demanded angrily. "The good guys beat them."

"Actually, there's plenty of spinoffs and side stories in alternate universes where the bad guys won..." he trailed off at the unamused looks everyone was giving him. "Uh... A-anyway, we wanted to take you out, so we'd have free reign over Sunnydale. But all our attempts were kinda..."

"Super lame?" Harmony supplied.

"Well, I was going to say amateur but fine," Jonathan said. "I think we kind of knew we weren't doing a great job, because when Warren heard about this other famous group called the Trio... he took it personally. He got royally pissed that a group of demons had our supervillian name, so he had us summon them to get them out of the way."

"A trio of demons," Anya muttered. "The vodniks? You summoned the vodniks?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I guess they made more of an impression than we did."

"You're bloody right they did," Spike said indignantly. "I nearly killed Buffy because of them."

"I mean, even without a heart you were still really into me," Buffy said quietly to Spike.

"Could take everything I am and I'd still want to nibble on you, sweetheart," he said under his breath.

"They took all our memories," Xander said.

"And they can multiply endlessly," Willow added.

"Why would you let them loose?" Tara asked.

"We... were sort of hoping they could deal with the Slayer for us," Jonathan said.

"They want to take my soul, Jonathan," Buffy said.

"Yeah, exactly!" he replied. "They wouldn't kill you, or anything. We figured not having a soul would be a nicer result for you."

"You stupid bloody git," Spike swore, taking a furious step towards him. "A Slayer with no moral compass or humanity? She's stronger than a master vampire and you wanted to unleash that force of destruction on Sunnydale!"

"I, uh, guess we hadn't really thought of it that way," Jonathon said.

"Bloody right you didn't," Spike said, his voice lowering to a threatening register.

"Well we screwed up," Jonathan said, throwing up his hands. "By summoning them in the first place and then again with... well, what happened last night."

"What happened last night?" Buffy asked.

"When the Joiner got back-"

"Which one is he again?" Buffy interrupted.

"The hippie," Jonathon answered.

"Oh right, Mr. Multiplication," Buffy said.

"Well he was the third vodnik to come back without your soul, so Warren started to lose it," Jonathan said. "I mean really going off the deep end. He was pretty wacko already with the plan to summon the Trio in the first place, but now... he thought he could force them into doing what he wanted. When we summoned them, the trio were locked in place into these three separate pools of water. They were able to combine their energy to let down one force field at a time, which is why you only had to meet one at a time before."

"Let me guess," Buffy pinching the bridge of her nose. "You let all three out and things went sideways."

"More than a little bit, yeah," Jonathan replied. "See, one of the instructions we got to summon the Trio was to not mix the water. Obviously that was the water from the three pools right? Well, Warren thought it would punish the Trio or something, so he went ahead and got their waters all mixed together. Which ended up somehow mixing the vodniks together. So instead of three separate demons, now you've got one triple powered soul collector."

"Great," Buffy said. "And he's probably not messing around like the sold separately editions."

"No, he definitely wants your soul now more than ever," Jonathan said. "The whole thing, it sounds like, heart and memories included."

"Well, what's he look like?" Buffy sighed. "So I can be on the lookout."

"Just like the other ones. Green hair, red eyes..."

"No, they all look the same in the face," Buffy cut him off. "I mean what kind of California stereotype is this one? Hippie, doctor, surfer..."

"Um," Jonathan paused, scratching the back of his head in thought. "He sort of looks like if the hippie grew out of his peace and love phase and started a successful dot com business. Sports blazer over a t-shirt and jeans, hair pulled back in a ponytail, soul patch."

"So I guess the answer to the joke, 'what do you get when you combine a hippie, a doctor, and a surfer,' is a Silicon Valley venture capitalist," Xander quipped.

"So what happened after they combined?" Anya asked.

"They- He said he was going to take all of our souls," Jonathan said. "He started with Warren, but he took one look at him and realized Warren didn't have a soul."

"What?" Buffy asked. "I mean, I knew he was a jerk because of the whole robot girlfriend thing but-"

"He wasn't always like that," Jonathan objected. "It turns out he had sold his soul to get the instructions on how to summon the Trio in the first place. He thought they could get it back for him or something. But the combined vodniks weren't about to let Warren off the hook, and he apparently still had some human spirit left to take besides the soul. So they took his heart and memories as well. Now he's more like..."

"A zombie?" Buffy asked.

Jonathan looked at the ground in silence for a long moment, before looking back up to Buffy. "Yeah..."

"How'd you get away?" she asked.

"Andrew and I bolted after he turned Warren, and the vodnik followed after Andrew instead of me," Jonathan shrugged sadly. "Luck of the draw I guess."

"Yeah, real lucky you came here," Spike said menacingly. "Now I get to kill you."

"Spike, stop," Buffy said quietly.

"There's an unchained, triple powered, soul collecting demon with a hard on for Slayer souls out there because of this little prat," Spike pointed an accusing finger at Jonathan. "Don't tell me you're gonna take him under your wing."

"He's telling us this to help us," Buffy said. "And so that we can help him. We have to."

"Bollocks to that," Spike said, heading for the front door of the shop. "If I have to put up with this wanker I'm not about to do it sober." He stormed out of the Magic Box and slammed the door behind him.

Buffy sighed heavily, then turned towards Jonathan. "What can you tell us about how to beat him?" she asked.

"N-not a whole lot, actually" Jonathan said nervously. "Other than that vodniks are water demons, so maybe electrocuting him or something will do the trick."

"That'll pretty much work on any demon that isn't omniscient," Anya replied.

"OK, just..." Buffy sighed again. "Jonathan, stay here. Harmony, go home. Everybody else, keep researching. I'm gonna go talk down a testy vampire."


It didn't take long to find Spike, as he was doing exactly what he had promised and drowning himself in a bottle of whiskey in his crypt.

"Is there some reason this bothers you so much?" Buffy asked as she walked up to him.

"The 'lil berk deserves to die," Spike sighed, flopping his head back in his chair. "An' you won't let me kill him. Get's me frustrated."

"Because killing him after he came to us for help would be wrong," Buffy said, sitting on her knees on the floor next to Spike's chair. "Tell me this makes sense to you."

"No, it doesn't make a lick of goddamn sense to me at all," Spike said, snapping his head back up to glare angrily at her. "It's his fault you've got a demon coming after you wanting to steal away more bits o' Buffy till there's nothing left! He's the baddie here, no better than Adam or Glory, an' you wrecked them!"

"He's helping us now," Buffy stressed. "He's trying to reform. A little like a certain chipped vampire I know."

"Well..." Spike paused, looking for more excuses. "You were mean to me when I first came to you for help. You chained me up in a bathtub... an' tied me to a chair."

"I'm starting to think you liked all that stuff," Buffy said with a small smile.

"If you tie up that twat I'm gonna get real jealous," he replied, reflexively grabbing at the armrest of his chair.

"Look," Buffy said, taking the whiskey bottle out of his hand and putting it on the floor so she could hold both his hands in hers. "I know you don't have a soul... and that bothers me a little less knowing about the three different pieces of the human spirit and all that. But when you suggests something so totally immoral, it still wigs me out. Do you really not know the difference between right and wrong?"

Spike sighed heavily. "S'like arithmetic, pet. I can understand it on paper. S'just not my gut instinct. Why does it matter?"

"Because since I've been with you... every day has been a little bit less awful than the last," Buffy said quietly. "I don't know if I'm gonna have a magical Kodac moment like in the Bronze where my scars are suddenly healed and I learn to smile again. But the more time I spend with you- the more I let you in... The more the darkness fades."

Spike huffed a bitter laugh. "I am the darkness, love." He shook off her hands and stood up, pacing away from her. "I want you to be happy, pet. I really do, more than anything," he said, not looking at her. "But it kills me knowing that the more I love you, the more I'm driving you out of my reach." He sighed heavily, and turned halfway towards Buffy, but didn't look at her. "At least when that darkness is just a shadow an' you leave me behind, you don't have to worry about my ability to figure out what's right and what's wrong."

"No," Buffy said firmly, stomping up to him so he'd have to look at her. "If I ever make it back into the light, I'm taking you with me."

"Can't go into the light with you, Buffy," he said quietly, turning to face her. "Not my nature. I'll burn up."

"How do you know?" Buffy asked angrily. "You always call yourself the Big Bad, like the real you is the demon inside you telling you to kill and maim and destroy. But when we all lost our memories you didn't try to kill or drink from anyone. You didn't even try to bite me when we were just two strangers making out."

"Jus' 'cause my urge to shag you is stronger than my urge to bite you-"

"When we got our memories back," Buffy cut him off. "Your memories of following what your demon wants you to do reminded you that you've been a monster before. So you think you'll always have to be one. But you have a heart."

"A hundred years of killing is a lot to forget, Buffy," he said, leaning his hips back against the sarcophagus. "I can't pretend it didn't happen and you shouldn't either. Those memories belong to the demon. The demon is sitting where my soul should be, and it combines with all those memories of violence to outweigh my heart."

"You think the violent memories are the ones that define you, but what about your memories as a man?" Buffy asked, bringing her hands up to cup his face. "You were a good man, once. And after you got the chip, after you started to help us and do good... after you started to look after Dawn and help my friends even when I was gone... Those memories are good too. Maybe it'll take a long time to overcome the bad ones, but with William's memories, and Spike's heart, they can outweigh the demon."

Spike's brows drew together as his eyes darted back and forth between Buffy's. "No matter how much good I do, I'm always gonna have a demon in me, twisting up what's right and wrong," he said. "Always gonna have that desire for destruction, for mayhem. Always gonna be a monster-"

"But I'll treat you like a man," Buffy said, letting her hands slide up to run through his hair. "Because you act like one. It may be harder for you to do good than someone that doesn't have a demon riding on their back, but you still do it. That makes your efforts so much more monumental."

Spike swallowed heavily and let out a quiet puff of unneeded air. "Gonna make me cry, Buffy," he said, bringing his hands up to her waist. "Was nice that you recognized that I was more than just a thing, but," He rested his forehead against hers. "Never thought you'd..."

"Love you?" Buffy asked, finishing his question with a smile.

Spike raised his head to look her in the eyes, his face full of hope, awe, and wonder. "Can you?" he nearly whispered.

Buffy looked back at him, unsure of the answer. Spike had always made her feel... something. But love? How could she love when she didn't have a heart? All the little things that Spike said or did felt like he had taken a needle and sewed the hole in her chest a little bit smaller. But she wasn't fixed. Not enough to love him the way he loved her. ...Right?

Just as Buffy opened her mouth to speak, the door to the crypt was flung open and Harmony marched through.

"Spike, before I say goodbye I just wanted to- oh," she paused halfway into the crypt, noticing Buffy and Spike locked in each other's arms. "So this is like a real thing then."

Spike's arms wrapped tighter around Buffy's waist, clearly angry at the interruption. "Why the bloody hell would you think otherwise?" he seethed.

"Well, when you were with me you were pining for the Slayer, and totally still all hung up on Drusilla," Harmony said. "Figured you couldn't focus on one lady at any time."

"I was always focused on one lady," Spike said, looking back at Buffy. "Got hooked on the Slayer near as soon as I laid eyes on her. Just couldn't admit it to myself. Or Dru."

"Well, you were always treating me horribly," Harmony pointed at him. "I don't believe that you would treat Buffy any better just because she has more self-respect than I do."

"I'm evil, you dumb bint. Or," he paused, looking at Buffy as she pulled out of his arms and put her hands on her hips. "Was evil, when I was with you."

"No, Spike, you weren't just horrible to me," Harmony complained. "You're horrible to women in general. You said it yourself. 'Bloody women, bitches who torture you," she said in a terrible cockney accent that sounded nothing like Spike. "Why don't you just admit it, Spike? You're a woman hating monster."

"I'm not-" Spike cut himself off mid sentence and released a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I had a problem with women," he said, starting over. "Because the only one I ever loved treated me as expendable. Hard to not have a low opinion when even the woman you see as the best of 'em, your own personal savior, is as wrong as a person can be."

"What, so you're blaming Drusilla for your misogyny?" Harmony scoffed.

"No. I can't," he said, shaking his head and putting his hands in his duster pockets. "I'm the arsehole that placed my salvation at her feet, plain and simple. Wasn't her fault Angel ruined any chance at humanity she had... But I don't feel bad over it." He raised his head, and his voice grew stronger. "I can't. Just as you can't feel bad over any of the things you've done since being turned. But..." He paused, and sighed again. "I can say that I'm sorry. And promise that I won't treat you like rubbish anymore."

"That's easy to say when you don't have to live with me anymore," Harmony pouted.

"You're basically just making the argument for me at this point," Spike shrugged.

"Ugh!" Harmony shouted, then stormed out of the crypt in a huff.

A long silence hung in the air as Spike rain his hands through his hair in frustration.

"That wasn't very nice," Buffy said at last.

"Yeah well, I'm not nice, baby," Spike said. "Having a heart doesn't just automatically turn you into a nice person."

"You should probably go after her," Buffy replied.

"Why the hell would you want me to go after my ex?" he asked.

"So she doesn't try to come back here again to get more off her chest," Buffy answered.

Spike groaned in defeat. "I'm sure she's got plenty more twaddle to fill my ear with. You're needed back at the shop anyway." He marched toward the door, still clearly upset.

"Spike," Buffy called, stopping him in his tracks. He looked back over his shoulder at her, questioning. Hoping. But Buffy wasn't really sure why she stopped him from leaving in the first place.

"Be careful," she said lamely. It was subtle, but his face fell just barely, before he put on an insincere smirk.

"Sure thing, pet," he said, before turning back around and walking out the door. As he left her behind, it seemed like he took any feeling Buffy had in her chest with him.


So the wall of exposition is a little clumsy, but I'd basically do anything to not bring Riley back.