Don't own anything

Her Anger Spills, And We Slip and Cry

Nate could feel the tears pouring out of his eyes, and wiped them away. He stood up and kissed Blair's forehead before exiting. He shut the door and rested his head on it.

"Nate?"

Eleanor had finally made it.

"Serena said she's okay, what is the matter?"

Nate turned around and Eleanor gasped. Nate had tears running down his face. She brought the younger boy into an embrace. She felt her eyes sting. Nate had always been like a son to her, and seeing him like this was breaking her heart. Not only that, but his state indicated that something was wrong with Blair.

"What happened?"

She led Nate to a seat and sat beside him, Serena and Dan joining them seconds later.

"She's talking about it."

"About what?" Serena asked, staring at him.

"Ending it. She was telling me how she felt before she took the pills; it's how she feels now." Nate replied, with a lack of emotion in his voice.

"What?" Eleanor was beyond confusion. Blair was happy, she seemed happy.

Serena wanted to help Blair so badly, but didn't know how. She knew Blair had suicidal moments, but now, with the baby and she seemed genuinely happy. But Serena also knew about Blair's low self-esteem, and what happened today could have shattered it completely.

Eleanor stood, "I'm going to go see her." She made her way to Blair's room and opened to door to find Blair in the same position she was in, when Nate left.

"Blair?"

No response.

Eleanor came closer to her daughter, trying to read her expression. Emptiness? Lost? Sorrow? That's what it seemed. Eleanor sat on the bed watching Blair who had not acknowledged her presence.

"Blair, you okay?"

Eleanor reached out and placed her hand on Blair's. Blair flinched and slowly met her mother's gaze.

"What?" She asked sharply, startling Eleanor.

"Blair…"

"What? Are you here to send me away to France or Rome or somewhere far from you?"

Eleanor was taken back; she didn't know what had come over Blair.

"Sweetheart…"

"Don't call me that, not now. Just go."

"Blair, what is going on?" Eleanor asked desperately, afraid for her daughter.

"LEAVE!"

Eleanor flinched, but slowly got up and left the room.

When she shut the door behind her she turned to see the three teens staring at her.

Eleanor sighed and looked down, "I'm going to go talk to the doctor."

Nate watched Eleanor walk away and then buried his head in hands. He felt a hand on his back, knowing it was Serena.

"I don't know what to do. She's just so…sad…distant…angry…and it's killing me, but I don't know how to help her."

Serena felt a tug at her heart at seeing her oldest friend in that state. She wanted to see Blair, but was afraid of her reaction or what she would see.

"She's just scared, you know she gets."

Nate raised his head, "No, that's not it, when she's scared she acts different. She maybe scared, but there is something else too."

Serena took a breath, "I'll be back."

She nodded to Dan, and then headed towards Blair's room. She opened the door and was taken back at Blair's position. She was still wrapped around herself, staring out the window, but now she had tears.

"B?"

Blair turned her head and gave Serena a small smile.

"How are you?"

Blair shrugged. Serena took a seat beside Blair.

"What's going on, B?"

Blair shrugged.

"Don't do that, talk to me, B. I'm your best friend, what's wrong?"

Blair snapped, "Why? Why is there something wrong with me? I either have to be a bitch or happy to be normal, why the fuck is that? I feel sad, so what? I'm scared, okay? I'm freaking terrified and I just want it all to go away."

Serena pulled Blair in for a hug, "Why are you scared?"

"What if I hurt the baby again?"

"You're not hurting the baby, B. I promise."

"What if…what if the baby turns out like me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"A useless excuse for a person, who is always scared, and sad and vulnerable, with no self-esteem, who has to be a bitch to pretend she's strong."

"Blair! That is not true!"

"Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not! B, you just described most people, or what they think of themselves. You are strong, you've been through so much and you haven't given up."

"But I did. I did give up and I want to again."

Serena stared at her best friend in shock, "B…"

"I want to be alone," Blair looked at Serena and attempted to smile, "I hope you understand."

Serena hesitated, "Uh…Blair…"

"GO!"

Serena flinched, shocked, and quickly left the room. She entered the waiting room and took a seat between Nate and Dan.

Nate looked over at her, "So?"

Serena shook her head, "It's bad…she's so…"

"Lost? Different? Piss off? Sad?"

Serena intertwined her fingers with Dan's, and looked at him. "She seems like she doesn't care anymore, she does, but a part of her almost doesn't want to, and just wants to…"

"Give up?"

Serena looked over at Nate again, who was looking at his hands. She used her free hand to rub his back.

"Nate, she's going to be fine, it's Blair, she's strong, she knows we're here; she's just scared."

Nate nodded, but frowned, "But what do I do? She won't talk to me! It seems like the sight of me repulses her!"

Serena tried her hardest to soothe Nate, but deep down she knew she herself needed soothing.

"You love her, right?"

Nate looked at Serena, an incredulous look in his eyes, "What type of fucked up question is that?"

Serena sighed, "Nate?"

He looked back down at his hands, "You know I do, it just doesn't seem enough right now."

"It may not seem enough now, but she'll come around, she's just scared and she's struggling. When the time comes, she'll let you in, because she loves you back."

Nate looked at Serena and gave her a weak smile, but it slowly faded, "It's not just her, what about the baby? She keeps pushing me away; I can't even be there for them. What if something happens and I'm not there?"

Serena paused for a second before answering him, "Blair may not let you in emotionally, but I know she would never take you away from the baby. She knows how much you love it."

"Really? Because she doesn't realize that I love her too."

Serena sighed, feeling like she was fighting a useless battle, Nate was right in some way, there was definitely something wrong with Blair, and it's affecting all of them.

She looked over at Dan, who was still staring at her intently, giving her a reassuring smile.

"It's going to be okay, this is Blair Waldorf we're talking about."

Serena looked away, "Doesn't seem like Blair Waldorf anymore." She whispered to herself.

Nate was fighting a battle in his mind. Should he go see Blair? Or should he not? He wanted to see her, and tell her how much she means to him and that everything was going to be fine. He wanted to be there for her, even if she didn't want him to. The other part wanted to give her space, but was also a little angry. How could she ever think that? He was at a new level of confusion and frustration.

He was broken from his dilemma when Eleanor walked in with a young woman.

The three teens quickly stood up.

"This is Dr. Shelly, she's a psychiatrist. She's going to be talking to Blair for a little bit."

Dr. Shelly nodded at the trio, before turning towards Blair's room. The four watched as Dr. Shelly, walked into Blair's room and shut the door behind her. Now all they had to was wait…

Sorry for the update, I was having writer's block, notice how this chapter sucked? LOL…anyways, next chapter is the conversation between Blair and Dr. Shelly, what's up with Blair?

Stay tuned for new guy, Reid or Adam, you guys tell me!

Reviews are appreciated!