Chapter 9: The truth.
Killian's POV
Liam was right. He couldn't whitewash it any longer or run from it. Three days had passed in which he has agonized over whether he should tell Milah or not. His answer was no.
Milah was a bit better now, she wasn't too sad, but plunged into the work to distract herself.
He had been for no until he had seen a quote during a meeting with his manager. "Heroes do what's right, not what's easy."
Though he wasn't a hero, but he definitely wanted to do the right thing. He would tell her. Soon she would come home from work, and he would have enough time to tell her. Nervously, he bit down on his lower lip, staring at the clock.
The minute hand pointing on a quarterly past four. His muscles tensed with nervousness as he heard the car drove into the driveway. It felt like hours until he heard the front door fall shut and his wife, or perhaps he should rather say ex-wife, came through the living room door.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Is everything okay?" She asked, slightly worried. She tried to overact it, but even through her makeup, he could see the dark shadows under her eyes.
He couldn't do it. Not now. "Yes," he said, trying to act less tense "Everything is fine. How about you? How was the work?"
She smiled "It is stressful and there is much to be done. My boss is on holiday, and now I'm pretty busy."
He nodded slightly "Don't overexert yourself."
"I won't. I promise." After a few seconds where neither of them said a word, she went into the kitchen and he cursed himself for his cowardice.
"How about you?" She called from the kitchen. He hated this kind of conversation, so he got up and followed her. In the kitchen, he leaned against the doorframe and watching her as she put the kettle on.
"Pretty good, there are some new film offers for me." She turned around and leaned against the countertop. "That sounds great. Is this something that appeals to you? "
He cleared his throat, "Yes, it is. A few films sound pretty good, to be honest. For one, they only want me as the lead actor. The agent has practically begged that I take a look at the offer. "
Milah laughed "That's good, isn't it?"
"Aye, that it is."
"Are you interested?"
He nodded, "Very much. I have a few days to decide about it, and if I want to do it, I some time need to fly to Los Angeles for the casting of the female lead. And then there are a few movies where I want to audition. For the one, I have already received the appropriate script. "
"When is the casting?"
"The day-after-tomorrow in London, so I won't be here for a few days. Is that okay for you? "
She turned briefly to fetch the tea bag from the cup "Sure. I'm happy for you."
"I hope I can convince them. The role sounds really great. "
"Oh sure. They'd be stupid if they wouldn't cast you. You have so much talent. "
He had always loved her. She always supported him, always backed him up and always has motivated him to go on.
"And then soon I'll get the next scripts for castings."
"And then soon is the premiere."
A queasy feeling was spreading in his stomach. He would see Emma.
"Right."
"So that was it with your days off?"
"Aye, certainly looks that way."
She nodded slightly, "If that's so, then I would like to go into the living room."
"Okay."
She took the cup of tea with her and walked towards the door. He was tired of it. He didn't want to conceal it any longer.
"Milah. Please wait."
Milah stopped and looked at him a little confused.
"You asked if everything was fine, and I answered with yes, but I lied. There's something that you should finally know. Something I should have told you way earlier, but it couldn't because I was afraid. "
Now there was no turning back.
"Okay?" She asked, and he could see the concern in her eyes. He didn't want to tell her in the kitchen, so they sat on the sofa in the living room.
"I've already noticed that something is wrong."
He nodded "Yes, I know. When we were at the doctor, and you asked me whether I think we fix that between us, I said, that I hope it."
She nodded slowly.
"And I mean it. I hope so, but if I'm honest, I don't think that it will happen. "
"What happened?" She asked softly.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds, "I want you to know that I love you."
"Kilian, what happened? What aren't you telling me?" Her voice was a little louder now.
How could he break it gently? The question could answer itself. He couldn't. He couldn't break it to her gently because there was no gentle variant for what he had done.
He cleared his throat and tried to find the right words. "On the promotional tour, something happened, and there is no excuse for it."
Stuttering he exhaled "The truth why I behaved so strangely in recent weeks," His voice broke, and he had to pause for a few seconds "Is that I cheated on you." It was just a little louder than a whisper, but a sense of relief came over him when he finally confessed it.
First, Milah remained silent, she had to process first what he had just told her, but then tears sprang into her eyes, "What?" She whispered.
That was the moment where the feeling of relief vanished, and once again he felt like the worst asshole ever. He couldn't repeat it again.
"I'm sorry." He brought out in a whisper. He saw the disbelief in her eyes and the pain. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she said nothing.
"With whom?" She asked, and he had hoped that this issue would not arise.
"Milah," he began.
"Who?!" She demanded, this time much louder and firmer.
"That doesn't matter."
"That doesn't matter?!" She jumped up from the sofa and took a few steps before she turned back to him "It's Emma, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Drop the act!" She hissed at him. His heart gave stang, because it hurt when she spoke to him like that, but then again, what did he expect? What had he deserved?
"I knew it!" She continued when he remained silent. "I've always seen how you made eyes. I know that you always liked her. "
For a brief moment, he looked at his hands. "And she always liked you," she added, before her anger vanished for a moment, and she began to sob.
"How could you do that?! Ten years, Killian! We are a couple for ten years and what are you doing? You throw it away for a one-night-stand with a cheap slut.
We have been married for six years, damn! We wanted a baby! " She hissed at him.
He couldn't say anything and he didn't want to say anything because no words in the world could express his feelings that he felt at this moment.
"Why ?! Tell me why!" Her eyes were all red from tears. "Damn answer me!"
"I don't know. It just happened." He whispered.
"In Berlin, am I right?" With her fingers, she drove through her hair as he nodded slightly.
"I knew it. I have seen pictures of you. You danced and laughed, and I knew that this bitch wanted more. "
"Milah. Stop."
She could insult him, curse him, hate him, but she should leave Emma from the battlefield even though that was impossible.
Milah laughed mockingly "Of course! Now you protect her. Because she turns you on, isn't she? Damn, she's still a little girl! Barely out of puberty, but young is always good, right? "
"Stop it, Milah."
"No, was that the reason? That I'm thirty and don't look like a model? "
"No!"
"No? Just look at her! With her blonde hair, green eyes, perfect body, matching big tits, nice ass. That's all what you wanted, or not? Wasn't I good enough? "
"You know that's not true."
"Oh, do I? Did you at least have fun cheating on me? Forget me while you've fucked her?! "
For a brief moment, his eyes met hers, and she seemed to realize something that made her even angrier.
"I'm sorry." Even though he knew, that those words wouldn't change anything, he had to try.
"It was surely nice to take a young, perfect woman or not?!"
"Enough!" Now he jumped up from the sofa "That's not the reason. You were - you are always enough for me. I married you, because, in my eyes, there was no woman more perfect than you. Because I have loved you, and I still do. "
It sounded wrong and he knew she would not believe him, even if he hoped so.
Again, she let out a bitter laugh, "Where is the boy I fell in love with? The small, shy, sweet boy who never thought in life because a girl even to speak. "
"He's grown up." He did not say, but it's him just slipped out.
She said nothing, but her expression said it all.
"You disgust me." She spat in his face. Her voice was strong and loud. He could clearly hear the anger, the frustration, and the disbelief. The tears rolled down her cheeks, and her mascara was blurred.
"I hate you." Was the last thing she said to him before she disappeared upstairs. And she was right. He hated this feeling. She had every right to hate him.
After a short time, she came down the stairs again with a small travel bag and grabbed her keys.
She wanted to leave the house, but Killian interrupted her "Where are you going?" He whispered softly, not to provoke her even more. Distance was probably the best.
"Away from you." She snapped without looking at him. "I can't see your face anymore."
So she left the house. He could still hear how her car rolled out of the gateway, and then everything was deadly silent.
He spent the following night with beer and pizza and more beer. When he finally fell asleep on the sofa, it was already half-past one in the morning.
The following morning was hard. He had to take several aspirins to cope with his hangover.
He found it hard to motivate himself to anything and when his phone rang, he narrowed his eyes. He didn't even look at the display but answered immediately.
"You told her?" Liam's voice spoke through his phone.
"Don't talk so loud!" Killian hissed at his brother, slightly annoyed.
"So you have told her and then got drunk."
"Yes, I told her and she wasn't pleased."
"Aye, we both knew that beforehand."
"Why do you even know about it?"
"You called me last night, left voice mails and sent me messages ?!"
"Oh fuck, I don't remember anything, what happened after 8:30."
"That's what I thought. Better pray, that you haven't sent her twenty messages. "
"Oh bloody hell, please don't." He groaned.
"So how did she take it?"
"She hates me, Liam. She told called me different things, yelled at me, she alleged things, before left the house. "
"You deserve it."
"Aye, I know that I deserve it. However, it hurts anyway. "
"You have done only right, Killian. Although this may be the worst on earth at first, you did the right thing. And who knows, maybe she can forgive you. "
"Doesn't look like it." He took a sip of his extra-strong coffee.
"Of course, it doesn't look like it now. You' just told her what you've done. Give her time. "
"Aye."
"What you need now is a distraction. I wanted to take Ella for a long walk. Why do not you come along? You get fresh air, and we can talk. And as long as you have time, you go to bed and sleep. "
He nodded before he realized that his brother could not see him, "Alright."
"Oh, and the best you check times, whether and if so what, you have texted Milah last night."
Oh, gods.
"We meet at half past 3 at my place, okay? Then you have plenty of time to sleep off your hangover. "
"Okay. See you later. "
He took another sip of his coffee and looked at his text messages from yesterday.
"Oh, bloody hell." He cursed when he found out, that he had actually written Milah. First, he didn't want to read the messages, but then he dared to take a look.
Fortunately, it was not quite as bad as he had thought it would be. He wrote a few times that he's sorry, that he missed her, or that she should come back.
It was still kind of embarrassing. He knew, that she needed time for herself, and he respected that, even if it hurt.
But he was really shocked when he saw, that he wrote Emma too. One of the first messages was "I told her." Then came "My marriage is over." And "She offended you as a bitch, but you're not. Believe me ;)"
"Oh God." He ran his hand over his face.
Emma had even replied "It's my fault. I am sorry :/"
Then he had written, "It's not your fault, babe ;/"
Had he really called babe?
"It is, Killian :(" she had answered.
"Don't worry about it."
After that, none of them had written anything for about an hour until he had begun again with "I miss you, Ems 3"
"Oh, bloody hell. That's not possible!" He swore under his breath as he read the message.
"I miss you too 3" she had answered.
"I'm so glad that I met you."
"Haha me too."
After that, he hadn't replied. Nevertheless, now he felt the urge to write her to elucidate the situation. "Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday, apparently drank too much
He stumbled up the stairs to the bedroom. Only when he was in bed, he wondered if that was really a good idea. He should share this bed with his wife, and everything reminded him of it.
But he couldn't combat the fatigue and closed his eyes.
When he woke again, his headache was much better and a few hours had passed. In an hour, he would be with Liam, so he stood up and sought out something to wear.
The cold water, that flowed over his body, in the shower, washed away the last fatigue, and he felt good and fresh.
With a towel around his hips, he brushed his teeth, before he dressed and went down for something to eat. He took his phone. Emma answered him.
"It's okay. I thought so :)"
"Okay, thank you;)" He tapped quickly and hit the send button.
He searched for his shoes and grabbed his jacket.
The drive to Liam took less than 15 minutes, and he was happy when he learned, that Claire wasn't home. So it was just him, his brother and his goddaughter.
Liam opened the front door with Ella in his arms and greeted him. "Are you feeling better?"
"My headache Yes, everything else not really." He replied as he walked past his brother in the hallway.
"You knew in advance, that you would ruin everything, yet you did the right thing."
Killian nodded slightly "Shall we talk the walk now or later?"
"Yes, we can do it now. I just need to put Ella her jacket on and put her in the pram, then we can go. "
His brother disappeared, and he looked at the pictures that were on the shelf in the living room. He saw them hundreds of times.
Wedding pictures of Liam and Claire, photos of Ella alone, Ella with two parents, alone with Liam and with Claire, family photos, and one that he has not seen for ages. A photo of Liam and him a few years ago, while sailing. He still remembered that day. It had been warm and sunny. A bit windy and no gray cloud in the sky.
"I recently found it." He heard Liam say. He slightly turned his head to his brother.
"I like this photo of us." He said.
"Aye, me too. Too bad that you have only a little time." Said his brother, and he could hear the sadness in his voice. "I miss those times." He added.
"Me too, Liam. I miss it too. "
When he came home at night, the house was completely dark. It was weird that no one was waiting for him. Sighing, he went the way to the bedroom to pack his bag for London, and then he would have to learn the script.
Maybe it was just fine to get out of Ireland for a few days, and eventually, he could then once again talk to Milah.
He entered a room, that was something like his office, and his eyes got stuck on his guitar. He had not played it for months.
It even looked as if a thin layer of dust on it was. He went over to the instrument and ran his fingers over it. Sometimes he really thought about whether he should take a break more often.
After his favorite instrument was freed from the dust, he grabbed his bag and brought it down to where he sat down on the sofa, with the script in his hands.
He cooked dinner, ate something and went to bed afterward. His alarm clock would wake him up tomorrow at half past three and half past 7 his plane would leave to London.
Emma's POV:
A few days later
She already had become accustomed to the flashlights of the cameras, but Elsa, who posed with her, seemed a little tense. She wore a bright rose-colored, long-sleeved, floor-length, couture dress by Elie Saab, with some ornaments on the upper portion of the dress. Her hair was pinned up.
Elsa's hair was pinned up too. She wore a beautiful, light blue, floor-length dress by Zuhair Murad, that she had received from Emma for her birthday. She still remembered how her cousin had seen it the first time. Elsa had loved it, and Emma knew this color would be perfect on her.
The screaming and yelling of the photographers annoyed her a little. She hardly knew herself where she should look at. Elsa left her side, and she posed for photographers on the New York Fashion Week.
Then she has been pulled aside for some interviews. Several security guards made sure, that she and Elsa were safe. Emma didn't know exactly with whom she did the interview here, so she simply smiled and waited until the interviewer asked some questions. First, they asked about her dress. Which designer, what year and what collection.
Thereafter, they wanted to know if she liked the Fashion Week and then began the questions to "The lonely thorn." She told a little about the movie and the time on set, answered every question, but one question threw her off track.
"You know, it's rumored if something is going on between you and Killian Jones. Can you tell us more about it? "
For a brief moment, she was caught off guard, and she didn't know how to answer that question. She could only hope that she didn't look too surprised. She also felt Elsa's slightly worried gaze on her, but she started to smile.
"You know, I have no idea who spread those rumors, but I can tell you, that there is nothing. Killian is happily married to his wife, who is, incidentally, absolutely lovely, and we are friends. So I ask you now, if it isn't a little irreverent, to ask questions like this one? It is Killian's, Milah's and my privacy, which should also be retained and respected. Thank you."
She left and turned to Elsa, who smiled proudly. Together they entered the building, where the after-show party was.
"Well acted." Said Elsa.
"Do you think so?"
"Yes, that's what I think."
"Maybe I Looked too shocked."
"No," confirmed her cousin "You concealed it perfectly. But what I was wondering about was, why do they even asked questions like this?"
"Believe me, I asked myself the same question, and I have no idea."
Together they spent a nice evening among themselves. From time to time, Emma chatted with a few models or designers, but most of the evening she spent with Elsa.
Tomorrow night she would fly back home and come back next week, because then, The lonely thorn had world premiere. She had waited so long for this night.
On the fourth of November in New York, then on the sixth of November, the European premiere would take place in Berlin.
Hey!
So the truth is out! I hope you liked it. Feel free to leave a Review with your thoughts.
Also a huge thanks for all the favs&follows :)
The NY Fashion week is not in October but in September. I just changed it for this chapter. And the Quote I used at the beginning is a Quote from OUAT. Snow said it in season 4 :)
If you want to see the Dresses Emma& Elsa wore
Elsa: fashion-shows/spring-2015-couture/zuhair-murad/slideshow/collection#34
Emma: /elie-saab-3997 (you have to click on the right arrow, then on the thumbnails button, it'll start with red Dresses, just scroll down until the pink or rose one's. It'll start with a short Dress, the Dress after it is the one I used for Emma)
I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in it, and because of that, I thought about looking for a Beta reader! So if you're interested pls tell me :)
I'm also on Tumblr now, so you can follow me there too. I mostly blog about CS ;)
My Tumblr Name is xTheCaptainsSaviorx
I'm looking Forward to it!
xSmallTownGirlx
