Okay everyone, we are getting into the action now! Thanks as always for everyone who reviewed and followed :)
Chapter Nine
No Light, But Rather Darkness Visible
"Well this isn't awkward at all," Dean grumbled as he tried not to fidget at the tickling sensation of the paintbrush against his bare skin.
"Hold still," Crowley snapped as he continued to paint the sigils onto Dean's chest from the bowl he held that contained the blood of all four archangels. "Hope you're not ticklish," he quipped as he continued with several more across Dean's ribs and stomach. Dean grit his teeth to keep from jerking away. Sigils had already been painted up both of his arms and he was getting fidgety.
"So how is this going to work again exactly?" he asked to get his mind off the fact that the King of Hell was treating him like a grade school craft project.
"You're acting as the key to the lock," Balthazar replied. "The sigils will activate once phase one of the spell is complete on our end and after that you need only transfer them to Amara."
"And I do that how? You were a little fuzzy on the process," Dean inquired, deciding he probably wasn't going to like the answer.
"Close content," Gabriel said waggling his eyebrows with a wink. "Ya gotta touch. Intimately."
Lucifer, who apparently had nothing better to do than lounge around watching them, snorted a laugh at Dean's expression as the hunter demanded, "The hell does that mean?"
"Oh you'll manage it," Balthazar assured him from where he leaned against the wall. "You're good with the ladies, right? Wine her, dine her…have sex with her…"
"What?! No!" Dean shouted, jerking backward and almost smudging the sigil Crowley was working on, causing the demon to glare at him. "I didn't sign up to play hanky-panky with the freaking Darkness!"
"It's nothing you haven't done before, Dean," Crowley snapped.
"Just lie back and think of England," Balthazar smirked.
"And I thought your brother was a prude," Lucifer said, rolling his eyes.
"Alright, the peanut gallery is getting old real fast," Dean ground out.
Balthazar relented. "A kiss will suffice. Just make sure it happens after the sigils activate and before she realizes they're there. They're going to start glowing once that part of the spell is complete. You should be able to feel it."
"Yeah, I'm just still not sure I'm going to be able to convince her I don't mean her harm long enough for you to set the sigil up and get everything in order. Especially if I start lighting up like a freaking Christmas tree."
"You'll just have to be a good actor," Gabriel told him. "Besides, if my plan works, and it seems to be going well so far, she'll at least have something interesting to talk to you about." He cracked his knuckles. "I can even rough you up a bit, to look more convincing."
"I'll take my chances, thanks," Dean told him as Crowley painted the final stroke.
"There. All ready." The demon touched the largest symbol in the center of Dean's chest and with a flare of light they all disappeared, leaving a slight tingling sensation that made goose bumps break out over Dean's skin.
"That's it?" Dean asked.
"For now," Crowley replied.
Dean quickly donned his shirt again and turned to head to the kitchen, needing about ten beers after that experience.
He was rooting around for even one beer and cursing his houseguests who didn't even technically need to eat or drink his beer, when the familiar sound of a throat being cleared came from behind him.
He turned and saw Sam standing there with a worried crease on his brow. "Hey, did Crowley finish the sigils?"
"Yeah, do not put me down for demon art class," Dean grumbled. "You need something?"
Sam shifted in the way he did when an awkward conversation was going to happen and Dean braced himself, really wishing he'd found those beers now.
"Dean…" Sam finally said.
"Sammy, if this is…"
"Please, just let me finish," Sam said, holding up a hand and Dean stopped, pressing his lips together in expectation. Sam sighed. "Look, I just want to make sure that you're okay with this?"
"With being bait? Not much new there."
"Not like that," Sam said and bit his lip before leaning back against the counter and gripping it with his hands as if bracing himself. "Look. I know what we talked about at the beginning of all this, about not putting each other before the world and all, but, Dean, I just don't want you to do something stupid."
"What do you mean?" Dean demanded, slightly indignant.
"You know, like going farther with this than you need to."
"Sam, tell me what you really mean, because you know how I hate beating around the bush."
"Don't do what I did," Sam bit out. "Don't…don't jump into the Box with her."
Dean looked at him askance. "Sam, I'm not planning on jumping into Pandora's freaking Box with the Darkness."
"I know you may not be now, but we have no idea what's in store with this fight, Dean. I just don't want it to be your gut reaction to sacrifice yourself. I know what I said before." He closed his eyes. "And, while I don't think what we agreed is wrong I just don't want you to take it to mean that we should sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. Especially if we don't have to."
"Where's all this coming from all of a sudden?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.
Sam huffed. "I don't know, just…seeing Cas say yes to Lucifer and all—I guess I had forgotten how hard it is to see someone you care about do something stupid like that. And Dean…we've actually be good again. Together, I mean, like we used to be. We haven't been like this in a long time." Sam motioned vaguely between them. "I guess I kind of don't want to lose that. I mean, despite everything, I'm actually happier than I've been in years. Content almost. I don't…I don't want to lose my big brother again. Especially now." He looked up at Dean almost sheepishly. "Is that wrong?"
Dean softened and actually managed to smile. "No, Sammy. And I promise you that I'm not going to do anything stupid. No jumping into Pandora's Box, no being Amara's boy toy or whatever. Hell, I'm planning on surviving this, so we can get Cas back on his feet, take our fricken' vacation. You good with that?"
Sam smirked and chuckled. "Yeah, I'm good with that."
Dean clapped him on the shoulder and nodded to one side. "Great, now we need to go on a supply run. You know I can't handle your damn chick flick moments without beer."
Sam snorted in agreement. "Yeah, definitely."
Dean grabbed his keys but even as they walked out to the car, he really hoped he wouldn't have to break his promise to Sam.
Gabriel listened in on angel radio for the first time in, well, forever. He had totally cut everyone out when he had gone on his extended vacation from Heaven, but now he sat in the library listening, with an amused smirk as the angels sent confused and even panicked messages back and forth on account of the trouble Michael, Raphael and Lucifer were stirring up. It wasn't enough to gain the notice of the humans on a large scale—the Winchester duo had made very clear no humans were to be harmed in the course of their plan—but it was enough to set off alarms in heaven. Lucifer was currently engaged in 'recruiting' demons for Apocalypse take Two. At least Gabriel hoped he was only pretending for the sake of their ruse. Crowley had said that the demons didn't quite know what to do, and were busy conferring, which meant that word was spreading like wildfire through the supernatural community, which is exactly what Gabriel had been hoping for. He smiled to himself, pleased. It was always good when a plan worked.
However, there was nothing else he could do there, and there was one thing he'd been putting off all day, and that was visiting Cas. He hadn't wanted to admit how much Cas' comment the night before had stung, especially when he had literally just found the courage enough to tell Michael and Lucifer what he really thought. But at the same time, if he didn't go see Cas, then he would only be proving his point that he was a coward. He really hated paradoxes.
Eventually though, his general worry over his brother's condition drove him to ignore any reservations he might have, and he went to the pocket room and swung the door open as casually as possible. He found Cas sitting in the same chair he had been before, but at least this time he had a book in his lap, even if he didn't seem to really be concentrating on it.
"Hey Cas, you doing better?"
Castiel looked up. "I do feel a bit stronger."
Gabriel went in and plopped onto the bed since Cas wasn't using it, stretching out with hands behind his head. "So get this, we had to think of a reason for Dean to defect to Amara's side and so Michael and Lucifer are pretending to re-start the Apocalypse."
Castiel set the book aside, frowning at him. "Are you sure that's wise?"
"They're on board," Gabriel shrugged. "Don't worry, I won't let them go too far. We got the spell set up too."
"So the fight will be soon?"
"Tomorrow, hopefully, if all goes well," Gabriel said, watching him carefully. "Amara will have gotten wind of our plan by then, especially after Michael sends out his 'end is nigh' speech tonight."
"And Dean," Cas said carefully. "He isn't in any danger?"
"No more than the rest of us," Gabriel assured him.
"I want to talk to Sam and Dean," Castiel said after a long pause, looking up to meet Gabriel's eyes. "Before the battle."
Gabriel nodded slowly, deciding there wasn't any harm in that. As long as Castiel didn't try to commit grand theft vessel. "I'm sure they'd like to hear from you. Not sure they really believe me when I say I'm looking after you."
The lesser angel almost smiled and was silent for a long time before he said, "Do you think the plan will work?"
Gabriel chuckled. "Work? Hell, who knows? I do know that it's our only chance, though, so I guess it's gonna have to."
Silence again, then, "I'm sorry for what I said before. I…didn't mean to insinuate that you were a coward."
Gabriel laughed. "Like I haven't been called worse? You were right though, I have been a coward most of my life, but, hey, I guess we're all turning over new leaves. I got a second chance. Feels good doesn't it? Getting a second round of things."
"I think it's more of a curse than a blessing," Castiel replied blandly, wearily, and again, Gabriel felt that tightening of his insides that he hated so much. He shook it off though and forced a smile.
"How about we go make that collect call, eh?"
Castiel nodded. "Okay."
Sam and Dean got back from their supply run and were almost instantly accosted by Gabriel. Dean promptly shoved the beer out of reach.
"Look, if you want any more, you can mojo your own, okay? I'm tired of you drinking all my beer and eating all my food!"
"Woah, touchy much?" Gabriel held up his hands. "I come in peace. Just wanted to update you on the situation. It seems to be going well, and we should be able to put our plan into action tomorrow."
Dean stiffened. "Already? We don't need a few more days for word to get around?"
"I don't think it's safe to wait a few more days," Gabriel said honestly. "Lucifer might get a little too eager, if you know what I mean. And if we wait too much longer the angels and demons are going to think they have to act on principle if nothing else."
"Yeah, we don't want that," Sam said quickly.
"Besides, we don't want Amara striking back either. It's best to do this as soon as possible, before she can come up with a plan of her own."
"Alright then, I guess we'll do it tomorrow," Dean said. Honestly, he was a little wary of enacting the plan so soon, but there was really no point in dragging it out either, and they had everything for the spell set up but for the location, which Crowley was out scouting for as they spoke.
"Anyway, in other news, you boys have a call waiting from Castiel," Gabriel told them.
"Cas?" Dean asked, his anxiety about having to meet with Amara instantly taking the backseat.
Gabriel held up one finger. "Please hold." His eyes closed and his body shuddered a second before his eyes opened again with a slight sigh, shoulders slumped as if carrying a heavy weight, but his eyes met both the Winchesters' in turn.
"Sam, Dean," the voice of Gabriel's vessel was oddly deeper and gruffer used by Cas, but it was obviously Cas and not the archangel. Dean could see it in his eyes. They looked so weary and pained that it made Dean's throat ache.
"Hey, Cas, it's good to hear from you, buddy," he said sincerely with a smile.
"Yeah, how are you?" Sam asked with the concerned wrinkle in his brow.
"I am…better," Cas gave a vague shrug. "Gabriel has been taking care of me, helping me heal."
"That's good," Sam said.
"I hear you are fighting the Darkness tomorrow," Castiel said.
"Yeah, we got everything ready to go," Dean said as casually as possible.
"I…only wish I could be there at the final battle," Cas said, casting his eyes down. "I offered my services, but Gabriel said I wasn't ready to fight yet."
"Cas, you're job is to get better, okay?" Dean told him with a small smile.
"Yeah, don't worry about us, we'll be fine," Sam added. "You just rest."
Cas' shoulders seemed to slump even more, but he looked back up at the brothers again. "I wish you luck, and be careful. Goodbye, Dean, Sam."
Before they could say another word, the vessel's eyes closed again and Gabriel popped back with a shake.
"Well, you good?" the archangel asked. "Okay then, I'm gonna check in with Michael."
Dean cast a look at Sam before he turned back toward the kitchen, planning on throwing some dinner together, but as he did, he had the nagging suspicion that something hadn't been right about their conversation with Cas. He really hoped their friend wasn't planning on doing anything stupid.
Castiel sat on the edge of the bed in his pocket room, thinking of the conversation with Sam and Dean. His goodbye. They had only confirmed his suspicions—that they thought he would only be a burden in the fight, that the only thing he was good for anymore was a fixture. Maybe someone considered a friend, but not a partner anymore. Not after he had lost most of his powers. He didn't blame them though; he had made his peace with being useless. Used up. Expendable.
And that was why he decided he was going to fight the next day without Gabriel's consent. He had been afraid after he had taken over his vessel in the scrap with the demons that Gabriel would lock him in, but he hadn't. He had trusted Castiel, and while breaking that trust did hurt Cas a bit, Gabriel had been the one to teach him that sometimes you needed to do the wrong things for the right reasons. And his reason was just. Not only would he offer his life to protect those he cared about most, but he would also finally be paying his penance. Perhaps he could finally find peace.
He took a deep breath to compose himself. He was scared, yes. But he was also relived that this time tomorrow it would all be over. All his suffering, all the suffering he had caused others with his mistakes. The Winchesters might be angry with his choice, especially Dean, but he hoped they would understand eventually. And at least he had gotten to say goodbye to them. That was more than Lucifer would have offered.
He bowed his head, hands clasped in his lap, and began to pray for the strength to do what he had to. "Father, I hope you will forgive me for what I need to do…"
Dean didn't sleep, his stomach was in knots thinking about Amara and every time he did manage to close his eyes, his dreams were fills with images of her destroying everyone he cared about, or being lost in endless darkness, unable to find Sam or Cas no matter how long he screamed for them.
He took a long shower before he showed himself, and found everyone else already in the library, waiting like he was for the day. Sam offered a reassuring smile.
"We have the location," Crowley told him. "All we need now is for you to dangle your scrumptious self in front of Amara."
"Great, I can't wait," Dean grumbled.
"Don't see why you're complaining, you have the easy job," Lucifer sighed.
"Yeah, I have to trust you to have my back," Dean shot back.
Lucifer clutched his chest. "I'm wounded, Dean, really."
"You wanna trade places, be my guest."
Lucifer hummed and shook his head. "Mmm, I'll pass. Been there, done that."
"So, are we doing this or what?" Dean asked. He didn't even consider breakfast. His stomach would never handle it.
"Oh, I almost forgot, I have prezzies for the human bystanders," Crowley said and reached into his pocket, going over to Sam and Dean. He dropped what looked to be a glowing crystal pendant into each of their hands.
"What are these?" Sam asked.
"Miniature soul bombs. You throw them on the ground to activate. Won't do Amara lasting harm, but they will distract her and buy you time if she's after you."
"Thanks, Crowley," Sam said with surprised sincerity as he looped his over his head and Dean did the same.
"My pleasure, use them wisely." The King of Hell looked at Dean. "Are you going to be able to do what you have to?"
"Are you?" Dean asked. "You and Amara were all cozy for a while. I just have a freaky-ass bond that I never asked for."
"Fatherhood is overrated," Crowley shrugged. "You know me, Dean. I'm not sentimental." He turned to the others. "Come on, let's go set up." And then he and all the angels except Gabriel disappeared.
Dean sighed and stood up. "Well, I guess there's no reason to prolong this."
"Nope, you should be on your way," Gabriel said and strode over to Dean right before he slugged him in the face.
"Ow! What the hell?!" Dean yelled, holding a hand to his throbbing nose. "I thought we agreed that I didn't need to look like I had gotten beat up."
"Oops, forgot," Gabriel shrugged. "Besides, I still owe you one for the times you neglected my little bro, and well, just in case I don't get the chance later, right?"
Dean glared at him and Gabriel shrugged. "Right, well, off you go."
Dean muttered under his breath about feathered douchebags and turned to Sam, as he touched his face with a wince. Sam gave him a sympathetic look.
"You good?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm fricken' fantastic," Dean grumbled before turning to Sam with a sigh. "Look, be careful okay? Hopefully we'll be able to time this thing right, but if it's off at all, you're going to be exposed and vulnerable, and I doubt Amara would think twice about taking you down."
"I know, but you be careful too," Sam replied. "She's gonna be pissed when she finds out what you did."
"Don't I know it," Dean muttered and reached out to squeeze the side of Sam's neck a small smile appearing. "See you on the flip side."
Sam smiled back and dragged his brother in for a hug. "You know it." He pulled back, slapped Dean on the shoulder, then went over to Gabriel so they too could go to the site. Dean turned and left, knowing that if he hesitated any longer, he might very well lose the little courage he had left.
He got into the Impala and turned the key in the ignition. He took a deep breath as her engine rumbled to life and then he drove out of the garage.
He headed to the same woods he had met Amara in before, and readied himself to sell his part, running into the trees and shouting for her.
"Amara! Amara! If you can hear me, we need to talk!"
She appeared way before he was planning for her to. Standing behind him as he spun around, making him start.
"We have nothing to talk about, Dean," she said firmly. "After what happened last time. Why should I trust you now?"
"Because now I'm desperate," Dean told her, panting slightly from his run, hoping he was pulling off the desperate act. "And if you really didn't want to talk, you wouldn't have showed. Have you heard what's going on?"
She paused, some curiosity appearing in her eyes. "I heard rumors…something about another apocalypse. But that hardly concerns me, I will have the end of the world I want before they have the chance."
Dean shook his head. "You don't get it. Look, they don't care about you, they want to start their own apocalypse, start over where it left off. Michael's wanting to jump my bones again, Lucifer wants Sam. You know it won't end well for any of us if that happens." Dean tried to look convincing. "I guess I just realized that endless bliss is looking pretty damn good compared to what's in store if those asshats come into power."
Amara looked at him skeptically. "So you're…coming to my side now? How do I know this isn't a ruse?"
"You heard what's going on, right? The things they're setting up? Both Michael and Lucifer," Dean tried to appeal. "It was dangerous enough coming out here to talk to you. Come on, Amara, look into my eyes and tell me I'm lying."
That was a gamble, but he told himself to believe the lie and then hope that Amara did the same. She stared at him for a long time, before Dean lowered his voice, practically pleading.
"Please. I don't like this, but I just figure, if the world is going to end either way, it's better to have nothing than a world of pain." He closed his eyes and shook his head. This part was easy because it wasn't really a lie. "Honestly, I'm tired. I can't stop two more apocalypses. I just want it to be over." He paused and braced himself, taking several deep breaths before he said, "I'll—I'll come with you." His voice was so dry it came out as little more than a whisper.
"What was that?" Amara asked, cocking her head as if she hadn't heard him correctly.
Dean swallowed hoping he didn't come across as being too nervous, when in reality his nervousness stemmed from the fact that deep down, the part of him that was bound with Amara actually meant it. "I said that I'll come with you. But only if you will lay off my friends and family, alright? You hurt them, our deal is off."
Amara narrowed her eyes at him, stepping closer. "You would really do that? Give up everything to be with me?"
"Yes," he lied, stepping closer to her too, seeing she was interested and hoping he wasn't about to lose her. Something tickled up the length of his arms and over his chest. The sigils were activating, he needed to close this fast. "I'm tired of this world, Amara. I just want peace. I want…you."
Amara smiled slightly, reaching out to stroke his cheek. He leaned into her instinctively, whatever bond they had pulling at him. He didn't stop himself this time though. Even though a shudder of revulsion ran through his subconscious at the action, he allowed himself to lean even closer, eyes closed, and pressed his lips to hers.
Amara leaned into the kiss, her hands on his shoulders as Dean slipped a hand to the small of her back to pull her closer. He felt the tingle on his chest as the final sigil there activated and hoped this thing would work like Balthazar had said it would. He felt a sudden, warm tug from the center of his chest and held his breath, waiting…
Amara suddenly gasped and broke the kiss. She looked down at her arms, seeing glowing sigils burning themselves into her skin and tracing up to her shoulders. She reached out and yanked Dean's shirt up, seeing the last of the sigils erase themselves from his skin to settle on her own breast.
"What have you done?" she demanded, shoving him backwards, her eyes stormy. The sky was starting to blacken. She stared at him in disbelief. "You have betrayed me."
"Sorry, Amara, I can't let you destroy the world," Dean told her firmly.
Amara screamed in rage as lightening flared up in the gathering clouds. Dean was about to run, even though he knew how futile that was, but Amara grabbed him before he could get two steps away and in another instant, they were swallowed up in a dark vortex.
So I think this may be a record for me to go this long without an actual cliff hanger LOL! Things didn't quite go as planned for Dean there. Be back with an update Friday where you get to see the battle in full!
