Trip reactivated the training program. He pushed the limits of the program forcing it beyond the limit of its highest difficulty. No Jedi, not even Grand Master Skywalker one of the greatest swordsman ever, dared to push the program this far. Trip pushed harder; the voice was right, he just was not good enough. But feeling sorry for himself would not fix that. PROGRAM INICIATING, the computer reported. Trip ignited his lightsaber. Its familiar weight was reassuring in his palm, the ice teal blaze burning fiercely. He was attacked by training bags, bricks were projected at him. He punched, kicked, and slashed the bags and used the force to toss the bricks feebly aside. The room began to spin and the floor began shift, making his footing uneven. The lights flickered and a crimson blade was ignited. It was Darth Lazer! Wait, Trip came to his senses, he had no fear. He knew the program was stimulating his mind. He dodged a passing brick and caught in mid flight just like he did the first time he fought Lazer. He flung the brick with all of his might and it staggered the enemy. Trip reached out and calmly cut the droid's head of and severed it at the torso for good measure. Three more blades, three more droids, Trip was no longer under the illusion that they were Lazer. He made quick work of them all. The bricks stopped flying, the floor became still, and the lights came back on. Trip was not fooled. The light instantly flickered back off. Now he was being attacked by images of the mind. Pictures and scenarios of his life flashed before him. The people he loved, the people he cared about, all being tortured and destroyed. The people he had failed and let die cried out to him an accused him of being a failure.

A beam of force lighting streaked across the space and knocked Trip's lightsaber out of his hand. He swore. As long as he was not being shot at he was okay. He was better at hand to hand combat anyway and he was still a master swordsman. He took the battle droids head on toe to toe. They were equipped with blades and hammer fists. Trip took them all while one droid came after the other until he became surrounded. Just like the old days Trip thought to himself, bring them all on! He did not care he would destroy every program that came his way. Left, right, left, left, left, right, kick, jab, hook, slam. Trip did not need his lightsaber. He was brutalizing everything. He threw a haymaker at a droid and it wisely 

ducked and Trip left a hole in the wall. He knew he would win, there was no doubt in his mind. He would boss this program just like he bossed the school. He punched and he fought, he ducked and he dodged. He took blows and gave them back. He palmed a droids head and smashed it on the ground. He looked up and it seemed as if that was the last one. At least forty droids were lying on the ground around him. Then the final droid appeared. It was at least thirteen feet tall. Now Trip was only six feet tall but if you think that he was intimidated then think again. He called his lightsaber to his hand and leaped to engage his final obstacle. But as he prepared to attack, HER FACE APPEARED- ON THE DROID. This was wack, he could not even train without thinking about HER. His mind suddenly became heavily assaulted with images of the mind. HER face, HER smile, HER laugh, HER walk. The memories were enough alone to make Trip fall to his knees giving the droid leave to smack Trip over the head. He tasted blood in his mouth. This is why Jedi did not love back in the old days. Trip was powerless. He would not attack the droid. He used the force to push it off of him. His force connection was weak, its flow became a trickle. Perhaps he could not handle the program after all. But he would not call for help. He would take the beating, he would take what he deserved. He stood up with grim resolve and crossed his arms over his chest, preparing for attack. But he was preparing for physical assault and what the droid did next was completely unexpected; it used its secret weapon. He was attacked by his most painful memory.

………………………. Trip had a basket ball game and he usually spent pregame at his friend's house. But this time he did not go. He wished he would have. Instead he spent the time talking to HER "best friend." It was all good at first until she began to gossip. Now Trip never listened to gossip. His parents had taught him well on that issue. But for some reason Trip bought it this time. The girl was telling him that SHE WAS ALLOWING HERSELF TO BE USED BY THE GUY SHE LIKED THAT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN HE. The things that the girl told Trip were terrible, so terrible the writer isn't even compelled to relate them. And Trip believed all of it. That night he did not sleep. Instead, he tried to raise HER on the comlink. She did not recognize the transmission. So Trip left a message through his datapad. He accused her of 

everything he was told. He was so hurt that he could not function. He could not eat. He could not sleep. All he could do was sit there, at his datapad, and hurt- terribly. He could not shake the feeling that was forming on the inside of him. It was not a knot, it was not a web, it was both. It throbbed and shook. It rocked him to the core. The next night he received a message from HER via datapad. They used to communicate through the datapad all the time, but she never did anymore, therefore he did not expect her to respond, but she did. A lot of things were said but the thing that killed Trip was a simple paragraph.

"Thanks for making me cry Trip. People talk about me all of the time. I thought you were my friend, and you would not do that to me. I thought you different. I thought you told me that I meant the world to you. Apparently not. Usually, if I think you are mad, it troubles me. But now I am mad. You have finally succeeded in offending me. But I guess since you believe all of this, then maybe you do not care about me as much as you say you do. In fact, this leaves me to believe that you do not care about me at all. I do not care if you ever talk to me again, because I will be fine with that."

Trip darn near passed out. Something on the inside of him exploded. His breath left him, and his lungs cried out and he was sure he was going to die……………….

Trip dropped to his knees. It was his worst memory ever. That feeling began to invade him again.

"I am so sorry!" Trip cried out painfully. The droid reached out and smack him again. Then again, he was brutalizing Trip now. Trip's world began to go dark, he could not handle the emotional pain anymore. He released his anger. His anger at his parents.(for giving him so much responsibility all his life.) His anger at his friends. (for leaving him alone at his school and breaking their promises.) His anger at his coaches.(for telling him he could never be a next level athlete.) His anger at his brothers and sisters. (for never cooperating with him.) His anger at his teachers. (for never giving him a break when he was falling asleep in class, because he was up all night doing their work.) His anger at his peers. (for always talking 

about him, leaving him out of the games and the clubs, and judging him.) And his anger at himself, for not being good enough but Trip had tried everything he could.

If he was not strong enough, he could keep lifting.

If he was not cool enough, he could fit in.

If he was not fast enough, he could train harder.

If he was not smart enough, he could study harder.

If he was too smart, he could simplify things.

If he was too mean, he could be nicer.

If he was too curt, he could spend more time on formalities.

If he was too light, he could act darker.

If he was too critical, he could lighten up.

If he liked someone who did not like him, he could like someone else.

But if she broke his heart, then only she could fix it.

That's what got Trip- she always did fix it. He would get mad at HER, and then she would feel bad and Trip felt even worse than when she was doing him wrong. Or when he thought she was. He knew that she probably wasn't, but that is what everybody told him. But he knew she did not think that she was in the wrong, but she was sorry she hurt him. They always agreed to remain friends. How is it possible that someone can love somebody so much, and they not love them back? But then again Trip remembered that everybody else got the fairy tale endings. He would do anything for her. He would give HER the shirt off his back, the shoes off his feet. Anything. If he could chose between a championship ring in one of his sports or just holding HER hand, he would take the hand. Even if it was for five minutes. Whap! The droid smacked him again.

"Trip!" it was Master AT. "Trip I know it hurts, but you have to fight back." Whap!

"I can't do it," Whap! Trip grunted as it hit him again.



"It is not HER, it is a droid!" Whap!

"Yes it is, I only see HER face." Whap! Blood drenched Trip's tunic by now.

"Imagine how she would feel if she was here now! First she would not want to see you getting beat, second she would want you to win, and finally she might try to help you! She is not a Jedi, the droid would destroy HER!" Trip thought about how pathetic she might think he was if she saw him, because only he could see her face. Master AT could not stand to see his apprentice willingly be brutalized.

But he did not have to any longer. The image of the droid attacking HER was enough. He called his lightsaber to his hand and severed the droids arm, and it hit Trip with the other one. Trip used the force to pull the droid to him and sent it back the other way with a tremendous punch. He punched the droid so hard, his knuckles began to bleed. As soon as it hit the wall, Trip cut its other arm and both legs off in three furious strikes. The droid head butted Trip where it had smacked him earlier causing him twice the pain. Trip deactivated his lightsaber and punched the droid's head off. He hit it over and over again until he had flattened it. The droid's head was made of metal, and Trip had just punched it flat. Everybody else needs a vibrohammer for that. As Trip prepared to strike again, Master AT caught his fist which was bleeding terribly.

"Trip that's enough, you've won. You have set another record and bossed another level of the program."

"I have not won anything."

"You won the fight Trip."

"That stupid droid was hardly an opponent without stimulating my mind."

"No Trip, I speak of a different battle; the one with yourself."

"No, Master AT, I have not yet defeated that stupid voice. It has been dominating me as of late. It seems like everything it says is evil, but it is all true."

"Do you hear the voice anymore Trip?"

He did not.



"That is because you have won, Trip. One must always stay true to himself. You have stayed true to your heart. You love HER and you know it. You did not try and convince yourself otherwise."

"But it means nothing if she does not love me back."

"All that matters is that you know you love HER. No matter what, that is the bravest thing I have ever seen anybody do. No one else I know can stand up to themselves and acknowledge their feelings. Despite being treated wrong, despite being judged, despite having their hearts constantly being broken. Trip you are every bit a true Jedi Knight, because while everybody else would have given it up by now, and cursed the person, you continue on with your burden."

"It hurts so bad."

"I know it does. I can feel the pain inside of you. You Trip, are now one of the greatest Jedi Knights of all time. Now pick up your lightsaber, young Knight and raise HER on the comlink."

Trip raised his head and inserted his lightsaber back in his hilt. His head had cooled down, but his heart was on fire. He turned to leave the training area.

"Hey Trip?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember what I always told you."

"There is always a way?"

"There is ALWAYS a way."