Metamorphosis
Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N:
Chapter 9 (Letter from Tori)
Trina had a love-hate relationship with snail mail; while she enjoyed being able to sit down and write out her thoughts, she hated how long it took to send and receive the letters. It was nearly a week before Tori's letter reached her.
With the letter in hand, she threw herself onto her bed and carefully unfolded it. This was a prime time to read, since all of the day's events were done and Lindsay was at the rec center. She was eager to hear what Tori said, though part of her wondered if Tori would let her friends essentially write for her.
"Dear Trina…" She pressed her back against the wall and stretched her legs out across the bed, then crossed them over. She gripped the sides of the letter firmly and held it almost in her lap.
Things have been really quiet here, I don't like it. Dad's been moping around, I think he misses you to be honest. He keeps coming upstairs to see how I am and stuff. I mean, it is the first time one of us has been out of the house and will be for an extended time.
She scoffed and shook her head while ignoring the level of surprise that struck her. Just the thought that her dad would miss her at all was near absurd. She wanted to know how a man that spent so much time working and never bothered to pay attention to his own family would even notice her absence.
Then maybe he did, and if that were the case, she would be delighted to know any part of him actually cared.
Trina continued reading the letter with a mist in her eyes. She'd been thinking about Tori, so finally hearing back gave her an incredible abundance of joy.
I'm bored around here. It seems like we all are, I mean Dad's been walking around the house and Mom's done nothing but lounge around on the couch when she's not either at the hospital or in the kitchen.
Andre and the others have been here, though not as often as usual. They said the way Dad's been looking at them when they're here is bothering them. I guess it's too much to suggest that probably it's because he knows how they act? I mean hell, since you've been gone they've been literally telling me how I must feel so happy that you're not around to annoy me.
The boldness of the words 'telling' and 'I' gave her a sense of sarcasm. Her hand moved up to her chest and she breathed out heavily. "That's no surprise. They're psychic, they absolutely must know how you feel." She smirked at the letter. It would be fun telling her about Jenny, and how incredibly ironic it would be if Jade had a sister.
With a sigh, she continued on with the letter. Tori's tone was mostly annoyed for the first part of the letter, and she went on to explain a conversation that went down with everybody-that may have also contributed to part of the reason they came over less. Trina was able to visualize the scene in her mind since Tori's description had been so detailed.
Tori tossed her poker ante on the table and looked to her parents on the couch, which she was amazed to see. Being a homicide detective, her dad was often called off to work and never hung around the family when he was home. "It's nice seeing dad here for once," Tori said quietly.
She asked him about it the day after Trina left and he said a homicide detective suffers from a lot of emotional stress and grief that he didn't want his family exposed to it. When he saw it was tearing them apart, he didn't know how to remedy that. Holly said he needed to take an interest in them, and maybe that would be a start.
"Yeah, I thought he didn't really care about you guys," Jade chuckled once and shrugged. Tori closed her eyes and ignored the snide in the girl's voice. The girl truly didn't know anything about what was going on, and she was getting to be agitated by her remarks at this point.
"He's interested, he just distanced himself. He's trying and he does care about us. I guess." She wanted to be the one to believe in that, unlike Trina, who still questioned the man. "He knows Trina doesn't think he cares, and that upsets him a lot. So try not to talk about-"
"Who does care about her?" Tori winced and saw David's eyes slide to the corners. The man brought his leg up to his knee and Holly raised her hand to cover the enclosed hand resting on her right shoulder. "Hell, everything's quiet with her gone. Maybe he's here because Trina's gone."
The man's glare became dark and the other friends began shifting around in their chairs. Each of them were glancing with caution at David while Jade didn't notice the man's callous stare. Her back was turned to him, after al.
"Jade, please don't-" Once more Jade interrupted with a casual air of nonchalance, preventing Tori from warning her away from insulting Trina. David was still sore about knowing she thought he didn't give a shit about her because of all the negligence, and he missed her greatly.
"She's a crazy wench that tries way too hard to get any attention. She deserves to be ignored and pushed aside."
"Shut up!" Cat scolded. Her words carried a powerful hiss that caused the 'great' Jade West to flinch. "You really need to cut it out. This isn't your family to insult."
"Why should I, Cat?" Jade jerked her thumb to Tori and smirked. "Tori talks shit about Trina all the time."
"So? She's her sister, she has a right to complain about Trina. You don't."
"How is it complaining when it's true?"
Andre threw his bet into the pot and raised an eyebrow at the group. "Jade's right." Tori's jaw dropped and her blood began to boil with rage and a desire to slam her fist into his face. "She's pretty much a crazy bitch."
David pulled his arm away and rose from the couch. His eyes focused on Andre and Jade while he approached the table. His nostrils flared open and he appeared like a raging bull with steam billowing from his nose and ears.
When Tori looked at her mother, she was horrified. Holly was giving her a disapproving look that filled her with shame. Her lips were tight and she shook her head.
"Victoria Maria Vega," David began with a slow and deep voice. Robbie, Beck, and Andre all grew tense while Jade simply twisted around to look at the man. She was stunned that Jade didn't appear the least bit concerned, and soon she was questioning why this was. "I've often wondered, but I've kept quiet; how in the hell can you allow your friends to talk about your family this way? Katrina is your sister, you should treat her like one! She is not some random person that you can just gossip about like nothing."
She bowed her head and folded her cards on the table. "Sorry, Daddy." Jade perked up with a bright smile and raised eyebrows. Potentially the girl wanted to make the situation better, but she wound up making things worse.
"It isn't gossip if it's true, Mr. Vega."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm just saying…" David's face was red as a hot pepper and his muscles were incredibly tense. The next words that fell from his lips were loud and fierce, and they cut into Jade, telling her she had no right to talk about his daughter the way she did.
Jade retorted back, then Beck came to her defense while Cat started yelling in the defense of the family. Robbie and Andre tried to remain neutral, but eventually Andre was pulled in with Beck.
After a long period of yelling, Tori screamed for all her friends to leave the house. Her head was pounding and she had no more reason to deal with them any longer tonight.
Trina had to put down the letter after that. Her hand came to rest over her mouth and she leaned forward, breathing heavily while failing to contain a sob that wracked her body.
Why this made her cry, she didn't know. Disbelief filled her heart with doubt, but like Tori, she wanted to believe her father was finally deciding to care about her. If he never stopped caring, that is.
She wanted proof before she could believe a letter, but what stronger proof was there besides a father's anger?
It took a few minutes to regain her composure. Tears still ran down her face, so she had to wipe them away before she could continue to read. Part of her wanted to push the letter down, ending it here, but she didn't want to do that to something Tori sent. It meant as much to the girl as it meant to her.
"God…" Trina swallowed a lump in her throat and shot a curious look at the door. "At least Lindsay's not here." She looked down at the letter and focused on the rest.
I'm sorry things got so bad for you, Trina. I don't know what to say, but you're my sister and I will always love you. I know I talk a lot about you to my friends, and I'm going to do less of that.
I do want you to know, all those things you said in the last letter, I don't know how to make you feel better. I want to, because you're my sister and I love you. I feel the same way about a lot of things: Dad's always getting called out to some homicide and never has time for us, and Mom's almost the same way, so I feel left out too. I know I shouldn't have made you feel worse, I just, I'm sorry. I became too involved with my friends, I wanted that attention too that I forgot to focus on what was important.
Then the men in your life you were complaining about. I know it's hard, after what happened with Danny, I didn't think there was any point in relationships either. It's easy to forget you've been crapped on too. Whether it was that possessive jerk, the people who stood you up, or even the guy that tried to you know…you've been through a lot, but don't give up. You'll find someone who cares about you. I know you will.
I hope maybe you'll find someone, or something, that will give you that purpose you were talking about in the last letter.
She stopped and pulled her tear-filled gaze away from the letters and focused her mind on the heavy pounding within her chest. "Isn't that the problem?" She spent all her time looking for approval and attention from others, and she wasn't going to get that.
When she looked back, Tori's next words stilled her heart and took her breath away.
I think the trick to getting attention is to be confident in who you are and being real. Because I asked Mr. Sikowitz about it, and he said that people like and respect someone more when that person is true to themselves and not just putting on an act for everybody in an attempt to garner that attention.
You try to sing, you try to act and nobody wants to pay any attention because you overdo it and you're not being yourself. You're not an actor, you're not a singer; but that doesn't mean you don't have something. Think about what you really want in your life, what's in your heart and stuff like that. I mean, do you want to be an actress? Is your passion singing? Or is that just something you want to be involved in because it gives you something you have in common with people you want to like you?
The words resonated with her and frightened her because they came from Tori. This was something for her to think about, and certainly something to consider. "She's right." Her words fell out with a breath of air which billowed from her lips like smoke. "I can't-"
It was a question she'd been struggling with already, and she didn't know the answer. Who was she? What did she want to do with her life? Lindsay, and even Jason, said the answer seemed clear as they watched her. So did those in the class.
Maybe it was clear, but she didn't know. Still, she couldn't look for those answers to come from anyone but herself.
The next chapter and this one were written together, but both ended up focusing on something that felt like they needed to be standalone, so I'll give both to you here. However, I'd like to know your thoughts on this. The sisters will be going through their own growth and I am working on a side story that will show in more detail the changes and the stuff Tori's trying to work on in her end but for this we're focused on Trina.
