I would like to take this moment to apologize gravely for not updating sooner. A lot of things happened and everything was a mess. My laptop broke down along with my desktop. I had to wait for my salary to buy another desktop. Now, without furthermore a due—here's chapter IX.


CHAPTER IX

"LINGERING FEELINGS"

"Have you ever felt so insignificant? Like your life isn't anything special and you're just going to disappear in darkness?"


Where?

Ludwig was running around town today, panting helplessly as his eyes wondered from left to right and then right to left. His sword upon his waist swung along with his running feet. "Where could he be?" He asked himself as he walked about the stone pavement laid out before him by the wondrous Capital of Hearts. He received greetings from the citizens whom had recognized him and even experienced being squished by most of them but that didn't stop him from… looking where the fucking hell did Feliciano took Kiku?!

How could they even leave the palace grounds without him knowing?! He was the General of the Royal Army, he was in charge of the Palace security, he was the bloody King of the Kingdom and his Jack and Queen disappears on him because he couldn't have tea with them? How swell. It wasn't his fault that he was busy these past few days! It should be Feliciano doing this but no, he had to examine these thoroughly to secure everything was all going according to plan! It didn't occur to him that his office would be covered by several mountains of paperwork which would enable him to make his office his bed chamber. He simply didn't have time for anything else if his goal was truly finishing those cursed things!

What the hell is with that excuse… He knew he was crowned King because of a mere door-opening accident but then, again, he decided to go along with it. Feliciano was named Jack because he cooks pastries and delicacies. In actual truth; Ludwig was surprised that the Councilmen still had their heads upon their shoulders. Queen Kiku was like making a Kingdom made to self-destruct at any moment with how he named who will have the two most powerful positions in the Kingdom but…he cannot deny that this unreadable Queen was someone he adored with every fiber of his being.

The Queen's silky dark locks that would even make his exoticness come out in sheer charisma. Ludwig slowly pushed those stray strands away from his beautiful face before capturing his lips in a tender yet passionate kiss. His chocolate orbs that would come to life every time it would see something pleasing to even make his lips curve into a tantalizing smile. Kiku forced his eyes to close in pure bliss and pleasure. Everything around him would vanish when his cheeks would flush in either embarrassment or excitement! It can make Ludwig's head twirl into a pile of mush. His voice that would be calm and gentle that would entice anyone into a conversation with him. "L-Ludwig… N-Nhnn…more!" He lets out in between in moans; his voice already hoarse from moaning and panting loudly. His mere touch of soft porcelain was enough to stop time if it was possible for the Hearts to do so! The Queen of Hearts let his slender fingers slide and made their mark on the King's muscular back while moaning his name like it was his salvation from any danger. Ludwig forced his head to stop thinking and almost tripped over his own foot. Curse him and his mind. It has already been two weeks since that night and he should really stop thinking of what the Queen's slightest gesture could do to him – No, just stop.

He sets his hand over to anything near which was a tree trunk. With his head casted low and annoyance printed upon his face, he was sure enough to even scare anyone. No, it wasn't necessarily hot… What's considered "hot" was upon his mind! He should really calm down for a moment and stop his mind from thinking. Yes, that's it.

"Your Majesty?" Ludwig rubbed his temples. That's right, he was King so may the Fates forgive him for even thinking such things of his Queen! He looked back only to see a little girl. Well, that made him snap out of his thoughts. This young child of four to seven years of age, clothed in almost rags, called out to him while holding a flower. The white and seemingly flower came from her basket where there resides dozens of them. "For you, Sire. Please don't look so sad..." said the little girl with a soft smile. Now, Ludwig felt terribly horrible. He wasn't on the throne to just idle around and be royalty! He was there for people like her and the Queen.

"Thank you very much, milady."

"U-Uhm…" The little girl blushed upon being called in such a way, not understanding that she could even be called as such in her life.

Ludwig chuckled for he crouched down in front so she won't have to look up to him. He took the flower from her hold and examined in. Each one of its little petals was of the purest white, seemingly ivory made by nature to match the softness of any linen or silk in the market as it was nice arranged into a design unique of layers; one, down close to its stem; the others seemingly protecting something from its core. It was a flower known to be common in the high mountains of Hearts only but it was overshadowed by the danger of how it's harvested up there. The Chrysanthemum. To think a child would have so many of them—Did she perhaps get this from a shop to sell or did she…. Ludwig took a good look of her hands. The child had small nimble fingers and not to mention that it was also scratched. She must have picked these flowers on her own. "Where did you get this?"

"My mother has a garden of them in the mountains… " said the child while pointing to the mountains. He was right at the very least.

"Did she pick them for you to sell?"

"No… She's dead, your majesty." No wonder the child looks horrible. He looked around the place and to see that no one had the slightest of interest upon hearing her little story of demise. If he was 'less fortunate' wouldn't he be the same as this little girl? "But I'm not alone. I have three younger brothers so I don't feel lonely at all." There was that carefree smile once more. This girl was strong and Ludwig couldn't help but put a hand over her head gently.

"Then you wouldn't happen to mind if I bought all of those flowers, right?"

The little girl's eyes lit up with such life that would only rival the smile she had upon her lips. "Woah! Thank you so much, your Majesty! I'll make them into a bouquet if you want—are these for someone special?"

Someone special? "Yes…" Ludwig widens his eyes slightly upon hearing himself say that. That felt so natural for a moment there and no doubt he didn't think that through. The way that those words rolled upon his tongue made him thought of a particular black haired person he had held into his arms and wanted for him to stay there. That particular smiling face he wanted to protect and hold for the rest of his life. "That is…" He trailed off as a soft blush appeared upon his cheeks. "Uh…."

"Make sure to give these with at least one purple Iris okay?"

"Why?"

"It'll bring you good luck."

The child wished him good luck and who was he to throw that away? He had to have all those luck just to find a clue to what the Queen was thinking! He looked at that that child's happy face as she waved her good bye to him. She was innocent and pure like the flowers she was selling but then a question arose from him mind: Why would she tell him to include an Iris? She said it'll bring him good luck?

If that was the case then…

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.

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.

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"Ve~ Ludwig, where have you been? Kiku and I were so worried about you~" Feliciano let out with a pout as he put his hands on his waist like a scolding mother.

He had the nerve to say that?! Did he even know what Ludwig went through out in the Capital? He was out there for hours and now it was dead of the night and he knows he looks absolutely ridiculous with those chrysanthemums in his hands while searching for them and he goes, 'Where have you been?' Ludwig removed his cape and handed it over to one of the footmen who was kind enough to take it as the King remained quiet. He was too angry to speak at the moment.

"It's already cold because of autumn and you go around the Capital. Kikuis worried." Feliciano continued looking at him with a soft glare the clearly meant that he was worried and if he was like this, what of Kiku? What of the strange Queen? Worried? Since when was he worried about him? Ludwig felt cold upon the thought… This coldness reminded him of something that really made his heart ache.

The morning after that particular night, he woke up alone in the bed. He did expect him to leave without waking him up… After all, it must have been terribly embarrassing to be brought out of the ship while he was sleeping. Ludwig carried him out of the ship while he was sleeping—he did that out of concern!

Everything after that…

He had expected that nothing would be changing but Kiku remained distant and colder…. Much colder than before and he didn't know why but that gesture broke his heart further. He would be acting like a lover if he ever did something about it and that would prove to be troublesome. It was by law of the fates those in the Royal Three would be kept to themselves and affection by the heart was a completely different matter. He knew how Kiku felt for the Queen of Spades and the only reason why he slept with him was because he was doing a ritual! And he did not need it to come from Kiku's lips… He knew it all too well, so very well, that it even hurt not only his heart… but every nerve upon his body! He felt numb and his thoughts were definitely shouting… definitely demanding. The feeling that you're being restrained by something unknown is better than having it known. He loathed this feeling. It makes him feel like the most horrible person into existence!

'Calm down, Ludwig. Calm down. You knew this was coming… You knew your feelings wouldn't be returned.' He told these words to himself as he sighed rather loudly, making his worried Jack to tug on his arm when he was about to pass him.

"Ludwig… Those flowers are from the high mountains, right?"

"Yes…"

"Who gave them to you?"

"A little girl at the Capital; She sells them, I believe, so in exchange, I bought them all ... Why do you ask?"

"Along with the Iris?"

"She told me to pick one if I happen to hand it over to somebody. Why are you asking me this anyways?"

First, he was scolding him and now, he was asking about flowers? Feliciano's amber eyes were on the flowers' petals and he instinctive took one from the bouquet. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. "There's no helping it, I suppose." Feliciano said before leaning on the wall and looked at Ludwig with a soft yet all the seriousness of the world was upon it. It was the first time that he'd seen their Jack with this kind of expression for normally he was would all smiling and goofily skipping around the palace- like a butterfly that spreads happiness around yet now... "I'm sorry, Ludwig. I know you were going to get angry when I took Kiku out today but I still went ahead and did that. I wanted to take you along but then Kiku doesn't really speak much of his problems when you're around. He says, you have a lot of problems already…" He started to explain before looking at the flower once more. "I know you can handle yourself nicely... but Kiku isn't that strong despite how he may look. Since I'm practically no good at paperwork or protection like you… I thought, 'May be, if I could cheer Kiku up, I would do something useful for both of them as their Jack and friend.' I didn't know it'll upset you even further…. "

"Why are you suddenly telling me all of this?" Ludwig asked and raised an eyebrow.

Feliciano looked shocked for a moment before chuckling lightly and sets the small flower on his chest pocket. What the hell was he thinking? "Why? It's because you're holding chrysanthemums, Ludwig! Don't you know its meaning?"

"Huh?" He looks at the bouquet of flowers he was holding- The meaning of Chrysanthemums? "The child said it meant to bring me good luck with the iris included-"

Feliciano burst into fits of laughter after hearing that! "W-Was that an understatement?! The child certainly knows what to say to certain people! Maybe because you're far too kind!" Was Feliciano praising him or just plain annoying him yet again? He didn't know which one to believe so he simply smacked his head.

"Just tell me!"

Feliciano rubbed his head, chuckling despite all the time and he answered. "Truth. White Chrysanthemums meant truth in its boldest and without any possible way of pretence. " He looked at the Iris this time and poked its purple petal. "These are the colors of Royalty… and for them to be Irises… The child you saw must have peered inside your heart, Ludwig. That doesn't seem new at all. Children are always described as a mirror for adults! "

Dear Fates. This bouquet was saying something he didn't know? And to think he was planning on giving it to Kiku?! "Tell me the meaning of these Irises, Feliciano!"Feliciano's chuckle and those words.. It only added to his frustrations. All he wanted to do was give the Queen a nice present and to think this little present of his had a meaning aside from sincerity…

"Loyalty, my friend!" Feliciano looked at him cheerfully and smiled. "Your bouquet says one thing…. 'You have my utmost loyalty despite the painful truth.' If that receiver accepts this tell me, okay?"

"Why?"

"Just tell me~" By those words, Feliciano took out the chrysanthemum in his chest pocket and gently kissed one of its tender petal and winked at the Ludwig. "Who knows… May be by then, I'll know my boundaries. "

He didn't understand what he meant but he nodded anyways. "Fine."

"The receiver would be our Queen, right?"

"Yes." He found out that lying towards this person wouldn't exactly be beneficiary since he will push every boundary he could to know everything! Feliciano is very much a Jack in that department. Even when he was angry, he couldn't seem to totally hate him.

"We received a letter a few hours ago… An invitation to Spades once more."

"And what is the occasion?"

"The coronation of an Ace. After receiving it, our Queen was somehow in distraught. It's not noticeable like always but he is rather—"

"Quieter than the usual?"

Feliciano nodded at this and sighed. "During our walk, I tried to make him talk about it but he didn't breathe a word of it." He looked at the bouquet which Ludwig was holding firmly. "Perhaps this gesture of silence is what he needs and who is better to do this than the King of Hearts, himself."

So Feliciano… didn't succeed in cheering him up. "I'll do that even without your words, Knave." Ludwig muttered before looking at him straight in the eyes. Blue orbs meeting those of his amber hues, seemingly seeking answers. "Say Feliciano… why did you accept your post? You are a chef and could have lived your life in freedom and happiness so then why would you ruin all that by accepting a stranger's proposal of being a knave? " It was a question that had been curious about. He was chosen like the way he was and he could very well deny it as well. For him to just easily accept his post of being a Jack because of sheer wealth along with it is quite too fortunate and judging Feliciano... he didn't look like someone who would do that.

A Knave in the Kingdom of Hearts is the one to replace the Queen at the very moment the bearer of the title dies if there is no son or daughter to take the throne. Right now, Feliciano was second most precious person in the Kingdom. He is dubbed as the "Fortunate Queen-in-waiting" in court because at the moment, Queen Kiku posses no concubines or even seem to bore interest in such relationships that would ever bring him any successor. Of course, at first, it may be a good deal. You're going to be Queen of a Kingdom because some stranger wanted you to but then… he can't really judge him like that. Feliciano was a good friend to him and hearing harsh things coming from people's lips about him isn't pleasant.

"Have you ever felt so insignificant? Like your life isn't anything special and you're just going to disappear in darkness?" Feliciano asked before standing up properly. "A person's hand-Kiku's hand, was extended towards me out of the blue… like it was some sort of sign. That hand pulled me out of that darkness and I intend to do everything that I could for the owner of that hand and those around him." He clenches his fists and looked down before he smiled once more. It was a smile that seemed reserved for himself alone to convince anyone that he was happy. Feliciano looked up wearing that same smile he would always wear. "I don't know what happened between the both of you but I need the bearer of that hand to benefit from my cooking."

"Feliciano, you're one crazy fool but perhaps… I am a fool as well for understanding what you just said but it is by duty and by fate that we stay by his side."

"Indeed. He has to learn that he chose the wrong people to be his companion if he wants to carry every burden into existence."

Surprisingly the hate, the anger and the confusion seemed to disappear They were both doing things they thought they would help a person so hard to understand that even brought them to not understand each other! It was funny in a sense that they both fell for this sick trick the fates seemed to enjoy pulling on them.

When Ludwig left with the bouquet of Chrysanthemums and Iris, Feliciano watched him from where he stood. "Ludwig is always determined to do one thing he prioritized … He doesn't care and will not care for those around him." He said softly before looking at the white chrysanthemum in his hand once more. "I've lost, didn't I? No matter what I do… I can only watch now… "

He looked down once more and slowly tears fell on the petals.

"Say Kiku… why did you choose me to be your Knave? "

"Because you're you."

"Ah… I feel so broken…"


To be continued…