Hi everyone and thank you big time for reviewing and enjoy this chapt! Sorry I didn't update for like, 4 months? Sorry!

Chapter 9: GETTING SORTED AND THE MURDERER OF NARUTO'S RAMEN

"-who or what was causing that commotion."

Hermione blushed red and quickly shoved Icha Icha Paradise into her trunk, but not before the boy saw it. He rolled his eyes. Then he gave Harry a look that clearly said 'why'rre ya lookin' at me like that?'

"Er…hi?" Harry made a lame attempt at a conversation. The boy glared. He then turned and left, slamming the compartment door behind him, his sleek long sword glaring at the compartment's occupants menacingly.

A moment of silence later, Ron cleared his throat: "well, that proves the pink haired chick correct," he said over Hermione's mutters of 'he didn't notice me's' "that bloke's seriously got a pole up his ass and-"

"OF COURSE HE DOES!" Hermione shouted. "Ron! All boys do! OMG! If I were a boy, I'd research up everything I would need to know…about being a boy…"

She had finally noticed the fact that all the other passengers around were boys.

Her face was as red as a tomato.

"Hermione," Harry said in amazement "did you read up this stuff in those Itchy Itchy books? Cause if you did, that Jiraiya's made you a pervert!"

"Closet-pervert," Seamus corrected.

Hermione, growing more and more flustered by the moment, opened her mouth to snap back, jumped back in horror when there was a loud crash in the hallways, followed by screaming, and three male voices:

"RICTUMSEMPRA!"

"DENSAUGEO!"

"AVIFORS!"

And then silence, only the chirping of birds……

Wait, the chirping of birds?

Harry cautiously peeked outside the doorway-as many others- and his eyes were met with a ridiculously strange scene…..

First of all, in the hallway, there were three giant human-sized yellow canaries. That wasn't the strangest part. Not in any type of nature books, had Harry seen cannibal-sized canaries with giant teeth and squirmed as though they were being tickled from all directions. And wearing Slytherin school robes.

Second of all, the trio of birds kinda looked like Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle: the tall and skinny bird in the centre and the very much plumper two by the first's side.

Lastly, their silhouettes looming over the fowls were three boys. Harry immediately recognized them: the black haired boy with the sword, the boy who was doing 'nude art' in the train station and the crazy blonde who got owned by so many pillars when trying to determine where platform 9 and 3 quarters was instead of just looking for the block between platforms 9 and 10.

Harry leaned in to hear their conversation: unnecessary.

"TEME! I don't know the counter thing for this spell!" shouted the blonde.

The weapon armed boy sighed and Harry heard what he deemed as a "Dobe, why ask me? I don't know. Geez, you just had to transfigure them into birds?"

"That was the only spell I know!"

"That makes you an idiot."

"TEME!"

"Dobe."

"TEME!"

"Whatever, Dobe."

Harry quickly dove back into the compartment, not to catch the bickering couple's future compliments to each other. Soon after, Fred and George squeezed themselves into the already crowded coach.

"Amazing! Did you see what they did to Malfoy?" Fred exclaimed, while chewing a chocolate frog.

"I know!" George added enthusiastically "Those three blokes beat up Malfoy for flirting with that hot pink haired chick!"

Hermione's head snapped around to face the Weasly twins at that last remark. Ron barely concealed his grin. "Ha! Hermione, guess that proves that Mr. I'm-so- full- of-myself-that-I-carry-around-a-big-ugly-knife doesn't have the hots for you! He's totally in love with the veela-"

"Excuse me?"

Standing in the doorway was Ron's so-called Mr. I'm-so- full- of-myself- that-I-carry-around-a-big-ugly-knife.

Uh-oh.

XoXChakra and WandsXoX

Sasuke sighed.

Life was horrible.

Especially to him.

He was in a bad mood, and it wasn't improving.

First of all, why on earth had Naruto decided to battle every single pillar in the station? I mean, he knows that Naruto is an idiot, but seriously, he could've just thought about it and bash his head against the pillars between platforms 9 and 10. And meanwhile to Naruto's head-bashing drama, Sai had also attracted a bunch of onlookers with his 'piece of art'. And he called him Sas-gay.

But what had pissed him off most was the fact that Draco Malfoy had again come around to flirt with his Sakura-chan. Wait, his Sakura-chan? Sasuke let his head bang against the castle's wall as he flashbacked to what had happened to encourage him to give Malfoy beaver teeth:

FLASHBACK

Team 7 was just relaxing in their compartment when it all happened. It started out nicely; Sai drawing more perverted pictures, Naruto creating mini Rasengans, and Sakura sleeping peacefully, leaning on Sasuke's shoulder. Then it happened.

Naruto stood up, made and flung their compartment door open, and ran into a gigantic guy. And oh-la-la! Naruto, once again, showed his homosexuality; they had a mouth on.

The two began shouting at each other. Sakura stirred beside Sasuke and stared blankly at Naruto and the guy. Sai began to draw a picture of them kissing…………………………

END OF FLASHBACK

"Oi! Teme!" Sasuke snapped out of his reverie to Naruto's obnoxious voice. Then he realized why. Sai and Sakura were seated at the Griffindoor table. Or was it Gryffindor? It was his turn, since 'Uchiha' was after 'Haruno'.

He slowly made his way toward the dirty singing hat, next to that McGonagall woman.

Man this is gonna mess up my hair, Sasuke glumly thought, as he put it on.

Well, well, well, said a voice in his head

Well what?, Sasuke countered

Che, not a very attitude.

Yours isn't better.

You betrayed your village.

?????????????!!!!

How did you find out!?

Stupid child, I looked into your memories of course.

Whatvevs

Hmmmm

Hmmm what!

You belong in…………GRIFFINDOR!

The last bit, the hat shouted into the entire hall.

After seating himself at the Gryffindor table and Naruto's sorting, Sasuke was introduced to Harry Potter (obviously), Ronald Weasly who preferred to be called Ron and Hermione Granger-the perv girl. (Naruto: You read Icha-Icha Paradise? Cool! Me too!)

Soon, dinner was served.

"…….and try some of this! This is steak! I love it!"

An entire hour, wasted, to the chattering of Miss H.J.G.

Sensing Sasuke's boredom, Harry cut in:

What's wrong, Naruto? Why aren't you eating?" Harry asked. Naruto was staring horrified at a plate of something covered with red substance. That something is-

"RAMEN! SOMEONE MURDERED RAMEN!"

Heads all around the room turned at the kitsune's voice.

"Dobe, Shut up." Sasuke murmured. However, Naruto grabbed the bowl and sped out of the Great Hall.

"What was that about?" asked Ron

"Well," said Sakura "what was in that bowl?

"Oh That? That was Spaghetti."

Oh wow.

An hour later, Naruto came back in the Hogwarts Black Gryffindor uniforms that approx. 5 hours ago, he would rather die without becoming Hokage than wear, saying that he wouldn't wear anything without Orange.

Sai raised an eyebrow. "What's with the change of dressing, Dickless?"

Naruto stared at him. Then-

"YOU IDIOT!!! RAMEN JUST DIED AND I'M DRESSED IN MORNING! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And he dashed out of the dining hall, into the boys' bathroom to cry some more.

PREVIEW: KAKASHI: THE BATHROOM WARRIOR

"I'm sorry."

Those were the words she needed that day.

Sasuke leaned in: "Want to try?"
Sakura smirked " Love to."

Their lips were only millimeters apart, they were going to touch, then-

BANG!

The couple snapped apart as Kakashi appeared, dragging in a wet and sopping Naruto.

"Kaka-sensei! I swear! It wasn't me!" Naruto screamed.

Kakashi shook his head. "Sorry Naruto, that's what you get when I had to battle a toilet and-wait, Sasuke, Sakura. Were you two about to kiss?"

Oh crap.

I WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTED TO SEE THE AMOUNTS OF REVIEWS I' V GOT, BUT HOPEFULLY THIS TIME, I WOULD RECEIVE A LOT!

-CJ1