To everyone who faved and followed this story, thanks. You are literally the only reason I'm still writing. Love to all.

Alec walked along the dark street, not bothering with the glamour rune he usually wore. He didn't care if any mundanes saw him at the moment. It was raining, and his navy blue sweatshirt was black and soaked completely through. It's heavy weight was only a fraction of the heaviness he felt in his chest. He had known going to that party was a bad idea but Jace and Izzy had insisted on going to help Clary.

Alec sighed for what felt like the millionth time. He couldn't blame Clary, it wasn't her fault that her coming into their lives had changed everything. Alec was actually glad that things had changed. Pining after his parabati was a miserable way to live, and Magnus and Clary had helped drag him out of it. Magnus had given Alec the push to come out to his parents, actually to everyone, now that he thought about it. He blushed, remembering how he had kissed him in the Accords Hall. Tears burned the back of his eyes, he had believed Magnus would stay with him, but then reality had come crashing down on his happy little world. Granted it wasn't a perfect one, but he had been happy. The inevitability of his own aging and death was a reality he had been trying to avoid thinking about, but the Seelie queen thought pointing it out to him had been amusing.

He had been trying to find a way to stay with Magnus for as long as he could, he hadn't wanted immortality for himself, and to hear that taking away Magnus' own mortality was apparently possible had shocked the eldest Lightwood. That all the pain, all the suffering, that Magnus had endured, that it could all be taken away? Alec would have given anything to never have to see that kind of pain in his lovers' eyes again. But no. If it was something that Magnus had truly wanted he would have already had it by now. Magnus always had a way of making sure he got what he wanted, and getting rid of what he didn't.

And now Magnus didn't want him. He probably hadn't even really loved him, As much as it pained him to admit it, even to himself. If one fact of reality was going to hit him over the head, it might as well be all of them. The odds were that Magnus had only been interested in a short fling, and for some unfathomable reason had decided to stick around a bit longer. What he had stuck around for, Alec had no idea, having shadowhunters in his speed-dial was the only explanation he could come up with before his cellphone rang.

"Hello?" He tried to speak loudly enough to be heard over the rain and traffic.

"Hey, Alec. It's me." Jace said. "Izzy has this crazy idea-"

"She always has crazy ideas" Alec blurted without thinking, but Jace just laughed.

"Yeah but she's wanting to go on this triple date thing to Taki's before heading to catch that new horror movie that came out. She wants you to bring Magnus, and I really need backup for dealing with her insanity."

Alec stood silent, blinking numbly. He wanted to go, he wanted to take Magnus, and end up late because he always takes forever getting ready. Alec wanted to laugh and roll his eyes, kiss him and be even later. They'd portal there at the last minuet and Alec would listen to his younger siblings make fun of his hickeys and blush when Magnus teased and made it worse. He wanted things to be normal so badly it hurt.

"No, sorry. Magnus has work." It was a lie, and Alec wasn't very good at making them convincing, but he wasn't really to spill the truth to Jace, not now, not ever. He knew he would have to eventually, but he just wasn't ready.

"You're not coming?" Jace sounded genuinely worried, and hadn't added any snark like usual.

"No, I'm pretty tired." He said lamely.

"I can tell." Jace replied matter-of-factly.

"Right." Alec agreed, having no idea what else to say.

"Just...take care of yourself okay?" Jace advised quietly, but his voice was laced with worry.

"I will, thanks." Alec said and they hung up.