Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.
Authors Note: I am very sorry for the long wait to update. Let's just say real life really kicked me down in the month of April. My mother passed away in
in April before Easter and before that my muse left me. So I thank you for your patience. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I love hearing your reviews, so please review for me.
Special Thanks go out to : Karen E. Teague, for being a support and awesome prereader. Stacie Ard, my lost Twi Sister, thank you for
all your awesome help with getting this chapter done, also special thanks to Violet Hour, your suggestions and support have meant the
world to me.
Super Special thanks goes to DandieGoose for being an awesome Beta and such a support and encouragement to me.
I love all of you. Thank you.
Enjoy the chapter.
Chapter 9
EPOV
I sat there stunned after Bella left. I didn't know what to think, my thoughts were everywhere. I realized that I was horrible to her. First, I yelled at her because she didn't come when I called for her. Second, when she told me she was pregnant, I pretty much ordered her to get rid of it. I didn't know what I was thinking. It's not that I didn't want children, I did. I also knew that there is no other woman on the planet that I would want to have children with, other than Bella; but not now. I can't do anything for myself, let alone take care of a baby. Fuck, what the hell was she thinking?
We were having a great day together. I felt like we were really getting back to us. I felt close to her, and we enjoyed each other this afternoon. Then, when I needed her help and she didn't come. Her excuse of taking a nap just pissed me off. Then telling me she's pregnant, hell no! That really set me off. We haven't had sex since that morning. There's no way in hell I wanted to bring a baby into this world. Not when I can't even take care of myself.
I sat there wondering where the hell she could have gone to. Not that I really cared at this moment, but I wanted to know that she was okay, I wasn't totally heartless. Minute after minute ticked by and I got more pissed. Where could she have gone?
The phone startled me out of my thoughts. Reaching over, I flipped it on to speaker, so that I didn't have to hold the receiver. "Hello," I snapped.
"Hey Edward, its Rosalie. Is Bella there?"
"No, she left a while ago. We had a fight," I replied.
"Oh, good. I need to tell you something."
"Okay, go ahead."
"Edward, I just saw Bella and Emmett leaving the bar we all go to and I watched as they walked to her car and …." She trailed off.
"And what Rosalie?" I barked.
"They were fucking kissing each other."
"What the fuck did you say?" I bellowed.
"I said they were fucking kissing each other and Emmett pushed her back against the car. Emmett hasn't come home yet, so I don't know what the fuck is going on," Rosalie said.
I tried to hold my anger in check, but all I saw was red. What the fuck, I thought. Bella and Emmett, it's not possible.
"Rosalie, are you sure, that it was them?" I asked.
"Yeah, Edward, I'm sure. I know Emmett when I see him, and besides I know Bella's car."
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I yelled as I knocked over the vase on the table. "It makes sense now."
"What makes sense?" Rosalie asked.
"Nothing," I replied. "Thank you for calling me."
I hung up the phone and waited.
I sat there seething in anger. Bella and my best friend, what the hell? Thinking back to the time when I was in the hospital, they shared little touches, coy looks across the room. I didn't think anything of it then. The time I threw the book at her and he ran in there to see what happened. It made sense now. He must have been fucking her then, so that baby that she was carrying may not have been mine. It must have been Emmett's. There was no fucking way it could be mine, we hadn't had sex in a very long time. Just then, I heard her keys in the lock. I looked at her with a look of pure hatred as she came in.
If I could get out of this chair, I would wring her neck. How in the hell could Bella and Emmett have done this to me? I thought that she loved me. Even though I have treated her like shit, it still did not give her the right to fucking go behind my back to my best friend.
She started to say something, but I cut her off. With my voice low, I said, " All this time you've been with him?"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Edward?"
"Rosalie called me and told me all about you and Emmett. How long have you been fucking him?" I said as I watched the shock and fear register across her face.
"Edward, Emmett and I know it was a mistake to kiss each other! It was a mistake! We both agreed to tell you and Rose about it. Rose and Emmett got into a fight and you told me to get rid of our baby!"
"What were you going to tell me, that you've been fucking Emmett? Then it can't be my baby. We haven't had sex since that morning."
"Edward, listen to me. I haven't been with anyone since you. Emmett and I only kissed today," she said as she walked toward me.
"Bella, tell me something. Was it before the accident? Were you planning on leaving me then? Must have been such an inconvenience that all this happened," I said in a detached voice.
"Edward, please listen to me."
"After what you and I shared that morning, I would never expect this out of you. After I left for work, did you and Emmett talk and laugh about your affair before he went to work? When you found Emmett, did you two celebrate him being alive?" I said as I watched the tears fall from her eyes.
"Edward, I haven't slept with anyone since we've been together. I love you. What happened today with Emmett was a mistake and I was going to tell you. Please hear what I am saying to you," Bella pleaded.
"Bella, I really don't believe what you are telling me. I think that you have been fucking Emmett behind my back and that the baby is his not mine."
She walked away toward the bedroom and slammed the door.
BPOV
I wasn't sure why Edward would ever think I would sleep with Emmett. I thought that our relationship before the accident was strong. I hoped he would trust me enough not to think that, but I guess I was wrong. I picked up the phone to call the one person that might be able to help.
Waiting for her to pick up, I looked over at the picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of us that Alice took on our first date. We looked so happy in that picture, even though we were both nervous. Finally she picked up, "Alice, I need you. I fucked up. Please, come over with Jasper, now."
After I told Alice everything that happened today, she said her and Jasper were on their way. I could hear Jasper in the background saying he would kick Edward's ass if he did anything stupid.
I hung up the phone and thought about it. All I did was kiss Emmett. I know that it was wrong, but I planned on telling Edward, and he wouldn't even hear me out. I know he's hurt, feels betrayed. But what about what he said to me? That he wanted me to get rid of the baby, the baby that we created out of love. How could he say that to me? I thought he loved me. I thought that he'd be happy about the baby. I guess I was totally wrong. I lie back on the bed and let the tears fall.
I sat up as there was a knock on the door.
"Bella, come out here now," she said as she opened the door.
"Alice, I really don't want to face him right now."
"Come on Bella, Jasper and I are going to be there too. We are going to get him to listen."
"How Alice?"
"I don't know, but I can get him to listen. He's not going to say such horrible things to you and get away with it. Trust me; he's going to regret it."
I let Alice pull me up from the bed and walked behind her to the living room, where Edward was sitting with Jasper. He had his hand running through his hair as Jasper was talking to him.
I crossed my arms across my chest, like a spoiled child would do. He glared at me as Alice told him he better listen and listen good.
He turned his head toward her and just stared, saying nothing.
"Edward, when you were missing, Bella was a wreck. We could hardly get her to eat, sleeping in the same room with her was damn near impossible. She'd wake up screaming for you, not to mention all the tossing and turning she did."
"I don't see how you can say that Bella and Emmett were having an affair, Edward," Jasper commented, "You two have lived together since July. You were never far apart from each other. How in the hell would she find time to fuck Emmett? Think about it Edward, before you lose more than just the use of your legs."
I had never heard Jasper talk like that. He must have been majorly pissed to talk that way to Edward.
"Jasper, she had plenty of time to kiss him, so how could she not have had time to fuck him?" Edward said looking at me.
"Yeah, so she kissed him today, but what the fuck did you say to her? How do you think that made her feel, that you told her to get rid of your baby if she wants to stay with you. What the fuck were you thinking or not thinking?"
"Edward, I would never do that to you. That kiss between me and Emmett was nothing more than a kiss. I was hurt because you told me to get rid of our baby if I wanted to stay with you. I was very vulnerable and he was there. But as far as sleeping with him, I never did that and I never would, so stop fucking thinking that way," I replied as I chanced a glance over at Edward and he turned to look at me. I quickly turned away.
"Edward, you need to get your head out of your ass and get your shit together, before you lose the best thing that ever happened to you. Stop trying to fuck things up with Bella. Sure, right now isn't the best time to find out that she's pregnant. But look at it this way, if you were dead wouldn't you want Bella to have part of you," Jasper explained. "You need to understand that Bella made a mistake by kissing Emmett, but does it change the fact that she's carrying your baby and that she loves you?"
"I don't know, Jasper," Edward replied with such hurt and anger in his voice.
I couldn't sit there anymore, so I stood up to walk out of the room as a searing pain rocked through my abdomen, knocking me to my knees.
Alice rushed over to me as I looked up at Edward. He had a pained expression as he called my name. I knew that the Edward I loved was still there. He was hurt and he felt betrayed by my actions today. To tell the truth I wasn't too happy with myself either. I gripped my stomach as another pain rocked through me. What if I was losing the baby? I'd never forgive myself if I did. It'd be my fault not anyone else.
I looked up at Edward as he tried to push himself up and his legs moved slightly. He felt it too because he cried out in pain. I gripped Alice's hand and told her that Edward moved his legs.
"Who the fuck cares, Bella?" she barked at me.
"I do," I replied through my tears.
Alice led me to the bedroom where she tried to get me to lay down.
"Bella, you should go lie down and if there is anymore pain, you should call your doctor. You could lose the baby. You need to try to bring your stress level down. Living with that man, I don't see that it would be possible, but you must try! And rest! You have to rest!"
"Alice, I don't want to lose this baby, even if Edward doesn't want it. I do," I said quietly.
I laid down on my bed, as Jasper came in with Edward.
"Bella," Edward said from the doorway.
"I'm fine, Edward. Nothing to worry about," I sobbed, as I watched him. He looked really upset. Maybe there is still some hope left for us.
"Edward, Bella needs to rest and have no stress. If the pain doesn't go away and the bleeding doesn't stop, you won't have to worry about the baby anymore," Alice spoke harshly to him.
"Alice," I yelled, "enough, please!" I turned away from all of them as I wrapped my arms around myself and let the tears fall.
I could hear them talking and I ignored them. Alice continued to raise her voice at Edward and he at her.
I heard them go back into the living room and after awhile I couldn't hear anything out there. I wondered if everyone left. Maybe they took Edward with them. That would be good.
I lay there staring at the wall and I heard the door open and Edward pushed himself into the room. I felt the bed dip as he got himself onto it.
I didn't move or turn to look. Just laid there and said nothing.
"Bella?" he said cautiously.
I didn't acknowledge his presence at all.
"I know I messed up this time royally. I don't know what I am thinking, I want children with you. As many as you want. I just don't know..." I felt him put his hand on my shoulder.
"My mind is all messed up, Bella. I feel like I'm not a complete man right now. How can I be a good father? I know you'll probably never forgive me, and I don't blame you at all. I should never have accused you of sleeping with Emmett. I understand that I've probably hurt your feelings a lot recently."
"You have," I whispered, "but none of that hurt as much as you telling me to get rid of our baby. That hurt worse than anything else."
"Bella, the baby news took me by surprise and then Rosalie telling me you were kissing Emmett. I just put two and two together and figured that you've been with him before."
"Edward after everything we've shared, do you think I'd cheat on you with your fucking best friend? Get real, Edward."
"Bella, I'm sorry and I'm being sincere here. I know I've said I'm sorry so much to you lately. I understand if you won't believe me this time," he said as he gently turned me towards him.
"Edward you really hurt me with your words. You jumped the gun by thinking that I had slept with Emmett. I thought what we had was special. I thought that you knew me better than that. You have to get your anger problem under control before you lose something important to you. You need to get help with it. I love you and I think deep down inside you still love me, but your actions have showed something else."
"Bella, I do love you and I never want you to doubt that. You mean everything to me. I think you are right. I do need to talk to someone. I don't want to lose you or the baby. I will do whatever it takes to make us happy again."
He pulled me closer to him, then leaned down and crushed his lips to mine. At first I didn't respond at all. But after a few seconds, I started to kiss him back. I slid my hands up into his hair, securing him to me. Our tongues danced to their own rhythm as we both moaned into the kiss. After a few minutes we pulled apart to catch our breath.
He looked down at me. I could feel that my cheeks were flushed and I'm sure I had hope that things were starting to turn around in my eyes. I knew that he was thinking hard about something. Sometimes that wasn't a good thing with Edward.
"Edward," I called. "Where were you just now?"
"I was just thinking about how you deserve someone who can make love to you at a moment's notice. You deserve someone who can love you like you deserve. It really frustrates me knowing that I can't make love to you. I know the doctor's said that it will take time for my body to heal and then it will happen. But you deserve so much more than I can give. I miss the feel of you all around me, Bella. I love you with everything I am, but I'm not enough for you anymore. "
"Edward you are enough for me. I don't want to hear you say that anymore. I love you no matter what and I don't care that we can't make love right now. I'm just glad that I still have you. I could be here pregnant and alone. If you would have died I don't know how I would have gone on."
"Bella…"
"No, Edward listen. When you were missing, so many thoughts went through my head. I wanted to believe that you'd be okay. But the news reports were not good. They kept saying how it was highly impossible that anyone could still be alive. I thought about what I would do if you were dead. I couldn't think about going on with my life as normal. You are everything to me. I love you more than words can say."
"I love you so much too, Bella. How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
"No, I don't need anything. It seems to be gone now. I love you Edward," I said as my stomach growled.
"I love you too, Bella, but we need to get you something to eat. I need to make sure my babies are fed."
I got up from the bed as Edward got himself back into his chair. He patted his lap and motioned for me to sit down.
I did as he asked and he wheeled us both into the kitchen. I got off his lap and started to get out some pans.
"Bella, I'm making you dinner," he said looking intently at me.
"Edward, I can do it."
"No, I want to take care of you. Just because I'm stuck in this chair doesn't mean that I can't cook for the mother of my child," he explained as he took the pan from my hand.
As Edward was fixing dinner, I sat there watching him until someone knocked on the door. I got up slowly and went to the door.
As I opened it, I saw that it was Emmett. Oh shit, I thought as I looked up at him.
EPOV
I was cooking us dinner when Bella went to answer the door. I was hoping that it wasn't Alice coming to start her shit again.
Imagine my surprise when Emmett walked into the kitchen with Bella following slowly behind him. I saw red, I was so angry. How in the hell could he show his face here?
I would have to try and control my anger at this point because Bella didn't need to be under any more stress than she already was. I couldn't let anything happen to my babies.
"Edward..."
"Shut the fuck up, Emmett. If I could get up from this chair, you'd be on the ground," I said through clenched teeth.
Bella walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. It calmed me a little, but not enough. I was still so angry.
"Emmett you're a good friend to me. I'm just not sure how or why the fuck you kissed Bella. It has me seeing red. When Bella came home, the shit hit the fan because of it. We got into a fight and Alice and Jasper had to come over here and knock some since into me. Us fighting caused Bella to start cramping and bleeding she could have lost the baby because of all this shit going on."
"What the fuck would you care, Edward? You told her to get rid of it," he said getting in my face.
"Emmett, when she told me she was pregnant, I was not in my right mind. I have been feeling sorry for myself and felt like I was not good enough for her anymore. I'm in a fucking wheel chair. Then when Rose called and told me you two had been seen kissing, the first thing that came to my mind was that you fucked her and she was carrying your child."
"Maybe you should start thinking about what you fucking say before you speak. I may have kissed her but I would have never slept with her. At the time the kiss happened you had just told her that if she wanted to be with you that she had to get rid of the baby. Rosie and I had a fight so it just happened. We both came to our senses and that's it man. You are like a brother to me. Yes, I regret what happened between Bella and I but you have said some very hurtful things to her. You need to get fucking help."
I was listening him. He told me that the kiss just happened. Then he said that I was like a brother to him.
"Emmett, if I was like a fucking brother to you, you would have never even tried to kiss or even kiss Bella in the first fucking place," I said as I stood up from the chair.
That was the worst thing I could have done because pain shot through my legs in protest. I fell to the floor in pain. Bella was at my side in a heartbeat.
"Edward, just hang on. Emmett, help him back in his chair. I can't lift him. I have to take it easy."
I watched as Em came over and picked me up and placed me back in my chair. I was sure that I had feeling back in my legs now. I knew that I needed to call my Dr. and let them know this information.
Emmett continued talking and truthfully I was getting tired of hearing his bullshit. He doesn't know anything about what I am going through. How the hell would he feel if I kissed Rosalie? He'd kick my ass. He's so lucky that I am in this damn chair.
"Emmett, enough. I don't want to hear anymore. Please leave," I said looking over at him. He looked over at Bella. What the fuck. "Emmett, stop looking at her. I'm talking to you."
"Whatever, Edward," he said. "Bella, are you going to be okay here with him?"
"Emmett, go now. I'm always fine with Edward," Bella said looking at the floor.
"Emmett, if you think of me as a brother, you would honor my words and go. It will take time for me to forgive your betrayal of my trust. I have to work on my anger and other issues. I know this and I don't need you pointing them out. I have my anger under control, and Bella is safe with me. Thank you for helping me back into my chair. I just need time, okay?"
"Sure, Edward. Remember, I'm your friend and I'm always here if you need to talk. I don't want to lose you." He walked out the door as Bella walked over to me and knelt on the floor.
"Are you okay, Edward?" she questioned.
"Yes, Love, I'm fine. I am going to go call Dr. Garrett. I will be right back," I replied as I reached my hand out and cupped her cheek. She looked so frail sitting there. All this stress could not be good for her. I made a promise to myself that I would try to be better just for her and our baby.
I called Dr. Garrett to set up an appointment with him. He, luckily, had time to see me the next day. I couldn't wait to start physical therapy. I wanted to get back to being the man I was before; Bella deserved someone who could take care of her and the baby. Not someone who couldn't even take care of themselves.
