You guys are incredible. Marry me.
I apologize for the surplus whump here but I was a moron and forgot something important. Derrrrp.
By the way, I think there will only be an epilogue after this, so let's wrap this up with a BANG, guys! There are almost 100 alerts on this story, wow. (:
ALSO, I'm looking for a beta reader! I know it's a little late now, but I have other Criminal Minds fics planned and I'd love to be able to have this all double-checked so I don't notice mistakes way later. Please PM me if you're interested, thanks!
Without further ado, I present you with the longest chapter yet. Make it worth the work? ;)
Ashes of Our Lives – Chapter 8
The shrill ringing of the phone around four am was, unfortunately, not something unusual. Hotch sat up in the hotel bed, running one hand through his short hair while the other reached for the phone on the end table, clicking talk.
"Hotchner," he mumbled slowly, blinking to bring his vision to focus.
"Agent Hotchner?" He didn't recognize the male voice, but it sounded worried. Hotch was already standing, moving to get dressed.
"This is Dr. Spade from Saddleback Hospital-"
"Are my agents alright? Has something happened?"
A pause. "Agent Jareau was having nightmares- they caused severe thrashing and movement. We had to restrain her to keep her from moving and causing herself injury. She woke up in tears and asked to see your other agent. When we refused, she asked us to contact you."
"I'll be there as soon as I can, I'll bring the team."
"Your other agent…" The voice continued as Hotch was about to hang up.
"Reid? What's wrong with him?" He couldn't help the sick feeling of dread that began to coil around his consciousness like a black dragon.
"He lost consciousness over an hour ago and his doctor was unable to wake him up. Investigation revealed a slow blood leak in his abdominal cavity that was missed during the initial surgery."
Hotch stopped moving. "Missed?" he asked blankly, "how could you have missed something like that? What's the status?"
The doctor's voice wavered. "I'm not exactly sure, agent. Dr. Grant took him back up to the OR about an hour ago, and they'll be finishing up within the hour."
He tried to control the anger that threatened to boil over. "We'll be there shortly." He hung up before the doctor could reply, and he moved off to round up the rest of the team, his thoughts on his fallen colleagues.
At nearly five in the morning, Hotch hadn't woken everybody. By the time he and Morgan slunk into the hospital, they found Dr. Grant waiting for them, with JJ sitting in one of the waiting room chairs. She was wrapped in a blanket and didn't look up when they walked in.
"Doctor," Hotch greeted coolly, "please explain the situation."
Morgan sat beside JJ, his hand hovering above her back, but not touching. Her brows drew together and she sat up straighter, forcing herself into his touch. He sighed, glancing up at the doctor.
"Well," Dr. Grant said slowly, "as I'm sure Dr. Spade told you, we discovered an internal leak in Spencer's abdomen, something we missed initially."
"What I want to know," Hotch said stiffly, "is how a doctor, a surgeon, can miss something like that. People are supposed to put their lives in your hands, and you risked his."
"Agent, I assure you-"
Hotchner was understandably upset. "If he dies because of your mistake, I'll see to it that you never find work as a doctor ever again."
Dr. Grant took a deep breath. "Sir, we're lucky we found the tear when we did. There's… we found something that you should see." He pulled a zip lock bag from his oversized coat pocket and stepped forward, placing it in the unit chief's waiting hand.
Hotch looked at the bag with dark, severe eyes scanning the surface of the thin metal sheet. It was rusty, and crusted with blood. But what chilled Hotch to his very core were the words engraved on the silvery surface.
IN THE END, I STILL WIN. THEY ARE ONLY ASHES.
He locked eyes with Morgan, and though the younger profiler couldn't see the words, the fear in his eyes made it seem as though he understood anyway.
Hotch exhaled deeply, fingers tightening on the object. "You found this… in him?"
Dr. Grant's eyes were sad. "Wedged halfway under his liver. We aren't sure how it ended up there, but the only logical explanation is that it was inserted when the wounds were first opened."
"How is he now?" The quiet, shaky voice came from JJ, and all eyes turned toward her. She still had her head bowed, but she was allowing Morgan to brush his hand up and down her back soothingly.
"He's…" Dr. Grant looked to Hotch, who nodded his assent for the doctor to continue. "He's still unconscious. He won't be waking up for a while."
"Hotch," JJ said softly, finally looking up. Her face looked so worn and tired, eyes red-rimmed from tears and lack of sleep. "You guys, why don't you go back and get some sleep… there's another bed in Reid's room that's empty, but they won't let me stay there."
Hotch frowned, looking toward the doctor. "Why not, doctor?"
"With Agent Jareau's… nightmares keeping her up, and Agent Reid's need for rest right now, we think it would be a bad idea to have them stay together."
"Thanks for your concern, but I'd really like to wake up from my nightmares with someone I know and trust nearby," JJ replied sharply, her tone biting. "I'm sure Spence feels the same way."
"Doctor, please keep them together if you can. It'll be easier for us to watch them anyway."
"Hotch," Morgan spoke up suddenly, "Garcia will be here in a few hours. Should we just camp out here until she gets in? She's coming straight to the hospital."
"Yes, that's fine. Doctor," Hotch's eyes were hard, "set Agent Jareau up in the same room with Reid. Agent Morgan and I are going to stay with them until our colleague arrives in a few hours."
Morgan was already helping JJ to her feet, before the doctor had a chance to reply.
Dr. Grant heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Right away. Follow me."
Morgan was roused from his doze in the hard plastic chair by the familiar sound of high heel shoes clicking on linoleum flooring. Garcia swept into the room with all of her usual grace. Derek hadn't seen her in over two weeks, but she looked as she always had. colorful, beautiful, and very emotional.
She made eye contact with Morgan for a split second before her dark gaze lowered to meet Reid's prone form. She stepped up to him slowly, scarlet lips turned down in a trembling frown.
"Derek," she said softly, "he doesn't look good. I mean, he's still so cute, but-"
"I know what you mean, mama," Morgan replied softly. "He looked better yesterday, before the second surgery. Thing's aren't going as well now as they did the first time."
Penelope touched her fingertips to Reid's wild hair. "How could this happen?" her voice cracked, and she seemed heartbroken when the young doctor didn't respond to her touch. Suddenly, she reached into her big bag, removing a stuffed toy shark. She wedged it between Reid's arm and his side, smiling faintly. The fuzzy great white smiled at them with toothy jowls made of fabric. Its black, glass eyes looked shiny in the overhead light.
"He likes them," she said in response to Morgan's unasked question, "the sharks, I mean. Most people don't, but he does. Of course he does. I brought one for JJ too..." She held up another toy, a lion this time. "She told me once that she likes cats… I added some flair and made it a lion. Where is she?"
"Behind the curtain," Morgan said quietly, pushing the fabric back to reveal JJ's sleeping form on the other bed. Hotch was dozing in the chair at her bedside, but he woke quickly at the sudden noise. He greeted Garcia with a tired nod. Penelope sat the stuffed animal on JJ's bed, running a hand over her face.
"Boss-man," She said authoritatively, "why don't you and Derek go back to the precinct? I can stay with them… but I want you two helping Rossi and Emily to find this guy, before he can do any more damage."
Hotch stood slowly. "I'll meet them, they should be up by now. Morgan can stay with you so at least one of you is armed. Do you have a computer ready?"
Her expression was grim as she gestured to her bag. "Always do. Go get these guys, sir."
Hotch left, frowning as he went. Garcia looked at JJ sadly, slipping a hand into the other blondes. As soon as their skin touched, JJ jerked away with a cry, throwing herself upright and blinking wide blue eyes. Reid grunted at the noise, cringing in his sleep.
"Jayje, calm down," Garcia said soothingly, her eyes wet. "It's me."
JJ took a few deep breaths, bracing her weight on her arms and looking at the analyst with indescribable relief. "Garcia? God, I've missed you!"
The flamboyant tech smiled gently. "I've missed you too, kitten. How're we feeling?"
JJ's eyes watered. "I don't even know, Pen. Physically, I'm aching all over but I'm just so… scared." It looked like it was painful to admit, but once she had, she seemed relieved. Garcia noted with dismay that JJ looked bad. Her eyes were red-rimmed and sunken, and her skin was a snow white to rival Reid's.
"Not to offend, my love," Penelope started slowly. "but you look like hell. Can I get you anything? I'm here to help. Oh- I'll get you something to eat. Something gentle, but substantial, like-"
"Garcia," Morgan interjected, "you're rambling."
She blinked. "Right, sorry."
JJ was watching her with an amused, albeit exhausted expression. "Sounds good, Garcia. Thanks."
The blonde swept out of the room in a hurry, leaving Morgan with the two downed agents. He moved to sit in one of the chairs at JJ's bedside. She sat up, meeting a wave of dizziness. She swayed, and Morgan touched her shoulder, frowning when she flinched away. She leaned back into the pillows.
"How're you holding up?" He asked again, feeling heartache.
JJ looked at him, frowning. Her blue eyes were moist. "Better, I guess. I'm… I'm sorry I keep pulling away from you. I don't mean to."
"It's alright," Morgan replied gently, "it's not uncommon behavior seen from…" he trailed off, and JJ looked away abruptly.
"Not uncommon from… rape victims. Look, Derek… he got what he wanted from me. But I fought like hell, and Reid did too. He's hurt here because of me."
"No, not because of you," Derek replied fiercely, "and he wasn't hurt for you or in your place. He was hurt defending someone he loves."
A pale blush crept onto her cheeks and Morgan blinked, backpedaling. "Well, uh, you know what I mean. He cares about you, about all of us. He wasn't going to see you hurt if he could prevent it. It's just in his nature. He had the profile; he knew the consequences. And he did what he did anyway."
She was looking down at her lap. "He would've done the same for any of you guys, too. Just as you would all do the same for each other."
"That doesn't mean you aren't special to him, JJ," Morgan murmured, and she looked at him.
"What?"
He shook his head. "JJ, I know you're in shock right now, but if you want to talk… I'm here. We all are. I'm not Alexander Napuri; you know I would never hurt you."
A lone tear trickled down the side of her pale face. "At first, he only teased."
Morgan blinked in surprise as her abrupt decision to share her story. He leaned forward to show he was listening. He rested one hand on the side of the bed, a silent offer of support.
"He dressed the cuts inflicted by the… by the dog." She closed her eyes, feeling the tears come faster now. "But I had a gash on my hip. He treated it, but he put his hand down my skirt farther than he needed to. Reid watched, but Napuri didn't go farther than that. Later, he made a big jump."
"He went for you completely," Morgan supplied quietly.
She nodded. "He had me completely… naked. I tried to push him off, trust me Derek, I've never fought so hard in my life. He shot at Reid, but I couldn't see anything. He'd missed. He was on top of me, crushing me; when suddenly, he was gone. Reid had jumped him. I don't even know how he did it."
Morgan's eyes were troubled. "What did that lead to?"
"He brought in the snake," she replied, her voice a breathy whisper. "I like animals, Morgan. I do. But that snake… it's like it shared Napuri's mind. It looked at us so hatefully. And it came after us."
She paused, breathing heavily. Morgan winced when her crying became worse, and she was sobbing. "I made it bite," she choked out, "I was scared. It was getting close so I tugged on Reid's hand. The snake moved and I jumped. Reid jumped when I did threw out a hand to push the snake away and it bit at his hand."
For the first time, she put her hand on top of Morgan's, squeezing his fingers. "I was so scared. Reid told me what the poison would do and that's all I could think about. The snake got me, but it only grazed. I was paralyzed."
She paused, and Morgan said nothing; giving her time to collect herself.
"After that, he was finally able to… to…"
"I get it, JJ, you don't have to say it," he replied gently.
She looked at him, her blue eyes nearly silver with emotion. "While he… did it… Reid fought so hard. He begged, pleaded, and bargained. He knew nothing he said would change anything but he tried anyway. It… angered Napuri. He stabbed Spence twice."
It was the first time she'd called him by his nickname since she'd started; Morgan took note.
"He left after that, and that's when we got loose." She closed her eyes again, leaning back into the pillows. "We-"
"Sweetness, I brought chicken noodle," Garcia interrupted, striding back into the room. She set the tray on a startled JJ's lap, who pulled her hand free of Morgan's in near embarrassment, glancing up at her friend.
"Thanks, Pen. Is that mine too?" She gestured to the glass the techie was carrying.
"Oh, of course. Iced tea with lemon, just how you like it."
JJ took the offered drink, sipping it with something as close to a smile as she'd shown since they'd found her. "Thank you. Am I supposed to be having this?"
"Doesn't matter," Penelope replied, "I brought Reid a snickers and I have some skittles for you later. Screw rules, I'm here to spoil you."
"You say that," Morgan warned, "until they end up puking from eating something they're not supposed to."
"Ah, they'll be fine," Garcia argued lightly, "but if the doctor says no, I will wait eight hours before I try again."
JJ's lips twitched upward for a moment, listening to her friends' bickering. She sipped at the soup, feeling her tears dry against her skin.
"Guys," she interrupted, and they looked at her, argument ceasing.
"Thank you."
Alex Napuri's cold eyes watched the road in front of them. He was sitting in the driver's seat stiffly, as though upset. In fact, the anger emanated off of him in poisonous waves.
A woman sat in the passenger seat, mouth set in an angry frown. She stared out the window gloomily, without speaking. Her arms were folded.
Keith Greene sat in the back, eyes staring out his window as well. "Where are we going?"
His sharp voice broke through the eerie silence.
"Away," Alex replied darkly.
"Care to explain?" Keith shot back sarcastically.
Napuri's hands tightened on the wheel until his grip was white-knuckled. "We're ditching this car, first of all. Then we're going to stay with your mother."
"All the way out there?" Keith balked, "what about those two people?"
"The FBI agents?" Alex replied, teeth gnashing, "we'll get them. Maybe you can even have a go."
The teenager leaned back in his seat, looking pleased, but also reluctant. "Are you sure they were… good targets? I mean, the FBI is pretty powerful, isn't it?"
"They hadn't caught us yet," Alex said smoothly, "and they won't. You'll be surprised at just how good Rebecca is."
The woman turned to smile at him, though her face looked positively mean.
Keith leaned against the car door, looking bored. "They looked fun. When they burst through that door all panicked, they looked… like they'd fight."
"They did fight. I had to do more than I wanted to in the beginning."
"Is it better that way?"
Alex shrugged one shoulder, never once looking away from the road. "I guess. It's better that they fight than accept it, but I wish I could've had more time."
"But we're going to finish them, aren't we?"
Napuri's cold gaze seemed almost aglow in pure hatred. "Of course. I think it's time you make your debut."
"Hotchner."
Garcia bit her lip when he answered the phone, looking at Morgan warily. "Sir, I've been doing all I can and I can't find any traces of Alex Napuri's whereabouts. He doesn't have any documented properties or family, and the license plates for his lexus can't be found anywhere, I don't know how that's even possible."
There was a long pause on the other line, and Garcia felt her stomach sink. Finally, Hotch sighed. "We've gone cold over here. We can't do anything else right now so we're going to head back to the hotel to pack up."
Garcia and Morgan locked gazes, both sets of brown eyes wide in shock.
"Sir… we're giving up?"
"We can't let this guy get off free, Hotch!" Morgan exploded, standing up as though facing Hotch in person.
The unit chief paused again. "We'll find him eventually, but for now… there's just nothing else we can do. We can get pictures into the press and have people look out for him, but it looks as though he's crossed state lines. I'm sorry."
"Giving up isn't like you, Hotch," Derek muttered darkly, fingers clenching and unclenching.
"I know. We'll find him, we just have to be patient."
"You know the profile," Morgan said desperately, "you know he won't let JJ and Reid escape. How can they move on without living in fear, knowing this guy is still out there and wanting their blood?"
"We'll continue working the case, Morgan," Hotch repeated, "but we're going to have to do it from home, in Quantico. There's nothing more, here. We're going to the hotel to get everyone's things packed and ready for the flight home. One of you needs to check with the doctors and see when Reid and JJ are cleared to come home." He hung up without another word.
"So that's it."
The two agents looked at JJ, seeing that she was staring at her hands, folded in her lap.
"Oh, JJ-"
She shook her head. "It's okay, Garcia. I understand. There's work to be done at home… work that can be solved."
A monitor beeped, snapping all three from their thoughts.
JJ squirmed. "Spence."
Garcia and Morgan moved to the other side of the room, keeping clear room for JJ to see. The youngest agent stirred, a steady tremble creeping into his thin frame as he came around.
"Come on, sugar," Garcia said encouragingly. Clear, green-hazel eyes blinked up at them, half-lidded a few moments later. He didn't speak, only breathed soft, raspy breaths and mouthed her name.
She brushed her hand though his hair, scratching his scalp with her acrylic nails. He cringed. "How're you feeling, honeybee?"
"Garcia," he murmured softly, straining to sit up. She pressed a hand to his shoulder, and he winced. She let go quickly.
"Stay still," she chided, and Morgan moved up beside her, grinning.
"Welcome back, pretty boy! You've been sleepin' a long time, lazy."
"JJ," he said numbly, and Garcia turned to see the other blonde already struggling to get to her feet. She moved to help, allowing her friends arm around her shoulders. She helped her to the other side of the room and eased her into the uncomfortable chair beside Reid.
She and Morgan stepped back when the younger two made eye contact. It was like something clicked into place, and something was finally at peace.
"You're okay," Reid said softly, and she gently grabbed his injured hand in hers.
"And you will be too," she replied firmly.
"We'll be outside," Garcia said quickly, grabbing Morgan's wrist to pull him along with her. They stepped out of the room, leaving to two alone again.
JJ eyed Reid carefully. "You look atrocious."
He didn't bat an eyelash. "Nice to see you too, thanks."
She wrinkled her nose. "You need a shower. And you could probably stand to gain about fifty pounds."
He blinked. "Do I smell bad?"
"If you do, I've been with you long enough to where I'm used to it. I meant because you're literally spotted with dirt smudges."
"Hm," he replied thoughtfully. "It could be worse."
"You're so nonchalant."
"You said something similar to me, a while ago."
She remembered. "You're stronger than I am."
He looked at her sharply. "You're the only reason I made it through."
"You did it before."
He paused, his eyes pained. "Hankle wasn't like Napuri. It was different, then."
"I'm sorry." Her tone was sad.
"It's long over with. You have nothing to apologize for." He sighed, clenching his fingers around hers when a jolt of pain flashed across his torso. She leaned closer, brows drawn together in concern.
"So you're okay?" He asked when the spasm had passed.
"Yeah," she replied, "how're you feeling?"
He gave her an odd look and she shook her head. "Right, stupid question."
They sat in companionable silence for a few moments before she spoke again. "So we're heading home soon. I think you and I get air-transport to a hospital in Quantico. I don't really need to stay, but I wouldn't leave you alone anyway."
He looked at her, his pale eyes calculating. "They didn't catch Napuri."
She stilled. "How could you…"
"Profiler, remember. You're posture says you're uncomfortable. If Napuri was safely locked away, you'd be a lot more relaxed." He frowned, pulling his hand away to press it against his abdomen, as though to suppress pain. "Looks like we'll have to watch our backs for a while."
She rested her hand over his, a slow and unsteady smile rising on her pretty, if not worn, face.
"We'll be fine," she murmured slowly, and he closed his eyes, fingers twitching under hers.
"I was afraid, you know," she said suddenly, and he looked at her in puzzlement. "When he said they'd only find our tortured bodies. I thought the team would find our remains and only find remnants. Pieces… I thought they'd find only the ashes of our lives, the little bits that were left over. I thought we'd die without telling everyone goodbye… and that scared me."
With a sudden boldness that was uncharacteristic of him, he reached up with his bandaged hand to push her dirty, blonde hair from her eyes. She blushed faintly, and he pulled back quickly.
"But we're stronger than that," Reid replied gently, "in the end, we won."
JJ smiled, smudging her thumb over the back of his gauze-wrapped hand. "You're right."
They had no clue of the irony.
Only the epilogue left now. (:
If you guys leave me nice reviews now, I'll make it a nice, full epilogue. I'd like to finish these last two bits off with a bang. Let's see if we can top my other story, Jeux D'esprit, which also has 10 chapters and 170 reviews. Let's beat it, guys.
I hope you enjoyed it, I enjoyed writing it.
Until next time,
Sharky
