Oh my god this fic has an actual plot

This is how I end 2018. With pride. I am so happy I challenged myself and finished another chapter before 2019.
I'd like to thank my brotonki, the best of the bests, the amazing and the incredible Shishiswordsman, who corrected me and gave me such nice feedbacks. Every chapter is another step in fear of going ooc. I am very happy everyone seems to enjoy this and I am so glad to get some comments on my tumblr! You are all amazing and I am very grateful for your feedbacks.
I dedicate this chapter to all of you. For your support.
Enjoy~


The Hangover or How To Survive The Consequences


"Bepo, where the fuck am I?" – Law

[...]

"Bepo where are you? There's only Jean with me, and we're…" – Law

"I have no idea." – Law

"Hey Law! So yesterday, we wanted to come back home but you kept saying you didn't want to go home, for some reason. The guys we were hanging out with told us they weren't very far so you and Jean decided to go. ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧ I really wanted to come home so I drove back with Penguin and Shachi, who, by the way, were completely high." – Bepo

"What the fuck?" – Law

"You're joking right?" – Law

"No? I mean I've never seen you like that, but that's pretty much what happened." – Bepo

"What else happened?" – Law

"... What do you remember? (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – Bepo

[...]

"I remember going to a few bars. Shachi and Penguin wanted to sing." – Law

"Yeahhhh right" – Bepo

"What?" – Law

"They were not the only ones who wanted to sing ( ゚ー゚)" – Bepo

"I didn't" – Law

"Oh yes you did" – Bepo

"What else?" – Law

"If you forgot maybe it's for the best (≖͞_≖̥)" – Bepo

"Why do I have drawings all over my chest?" – Law

"The guy you were hanging out with thought your tattoos were funny" – Bepo

"What?" – Law

"And you both thought adding 'more' was the best idea of the century ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭." – Bepo

"I need to get out of here." – Law

"I can come to get you if you want?" – Bepo

"Don't bother, I'll call a cab." – Law

"You can try" – Bepo

"What do you mean?" – Law

"You left your wallet in my car. Just give me half an hour, I'll be there. Is Jean ok?" – Bepo

"He's fine, snoring for now. How are Shachi and Penguin?" – Law

"I have no idea what happened but they kept crying and hugging each other on the whole way back. High, I'm telling you" – Bepo

"What the fuck happened last night" – Law

"Don't ask me. Drink some water, I'm on my way." – Bepo

"I know. Thanks." – Law


"We need to talk." – Ero-cook

"Zoro?" – Ero-cook

"This is Urgent" – Ero-cook

"What's up?" – Marimo

"What's up? Do you remember what happened last night?" – Ero-cook

"Oh yeah, that was fun" – Marimo

"Fuck no? Nami knows! They all know!" – Ero-cook

"And?" – Marimo

"? You don't fucking care?" – Ero-cook

"Not really. I'm surprised they took so long to realise tbh 눈_눈" – Marimo

[...]

"So you don't mind?" – Ero-cook

"What?" – Marimo

"You know what." – Ero-cook

"Say it" – Marimo

"Fuck no" – Ero-cook

"I guess I'm braver than you for saying it first then" – Marimo

"What?" – Ero-cook

"You're so fucking stupid, Sanji" – Marimo

[Phone call]

[Ongoing call]

[End of the phone call]


"Usopp?" – Nami

"Sanji just got a phone call." – Nami

"And?" – Usopp

"It was… it was Zoro" – Nami

"What's wrong?" – Usopp

"Well earlier I was talking to Sanji about yesterday and how they did look very close. I might have mentioned the pictures, too. He almost dropped his croissant." – Nami

"What about Zoro's phone call?" – Usopp

"Well, he called like an hour later. Sanji looked both furious and confused. The hangover might not help, I might say. They had an argument. I think it was pretty serious." – Nami

"Sanji hung up on Zoro and he did not look good." – Nami

"Is Zoro okay? When I left with those guys last night, he was going home with Luffy and they seemed fine!" – Usopp

"No don't worry he's fine it's just" – Nami

"Zoro confessed" – Nami

"Zoro what ( _ )" – Usopp

"He told Sanji about, huh, his feelings" – Nami

"=͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)? Zoro? Are you sure he wasn't still drunk or that it was really him?" – Usopp

"It was him. That's why Sanji was so mad." – Nami

"Fuck. But I thought they were dating already?" – Usopp

"SO YOU ADMIT IT (❀◦‿◦)" – Nami

"I think the situation is more important than our bet right now? ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)" – Usopp

"Anyway I asked Sanji if he wanted to talk and he refused. I'm a bit worried." – Nami

"Did you try to talk to Zoro to know what was up?" – Usopp

"No but I'm thinking maybe you or Luffy could do something about it?" – Nami

"Yeah we'll see 「(゚ペ)" – Usopp


[Previous messages]

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"Look Torao I made new friends tonight! :D" – Luffy

"There's so fun!" – Luffy

"I love the tall guy's tattoos looks so cool" – Luffy

[Now]

"Omg yesterday was amazing Torao ( ▽ )" – Luffy

"I guess you were busy though since you didn't reply!" – Luffy

"It would have been fun if you had been there too! (งಠل͜ಠ)ง" – Luffy

[...]

"I ate four whole cakes -(๑ ▽ #)ᕗ" – Luffy

"I think that's why those parties are the best. °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° People bring food, have fun but really? ヽ(ー_ー )ノ while they drink, they forget everything." – Luffy

"They lose sight of what really matters ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ) " – Luffy

"I would have left you some tho ヽ(´ー`)ノ" – Luffy

[...]

"Maybe" – Luffy

[...]

"I think" – Luffy

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"We were lucky the bartender had some indelible pen shishi, those were some nice tattoos (๑✧◡✧๑)" – Luffy

[...]

"I can see that, you're a real artist" – Torao

"Thanks ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – Luffy

"Did the guy know it was... indelible?" – Torao

"Yeah! He said it'd be like a tattoo but cheaper! (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)" – Luffy

"Sure he did" – Torao

"What else happened?" – Torao

"We sang several songs on stage it was pretty awesome. It was pretty hot in there so most people were topless and that's when I saw the tattoos! ╚═། . ◯ o ◯ . །═╝" – Luffy

"At some point people got too much into it though cause they kep yelling 'strip tease' at us - there was also a girl and Usopp -, Nami was ready to kill them d=(´▽`)=b" – Luffy

"But the tattooed guy's friends stopped him before he could do anything more" – Luffy

"I wonder if he had other tattoos hidden" – Luffy

[...]

"Some mysteries are better left unsolved." – Torao


"What happened when I was on stage?" – Law

"You remember?" – Bepo

"Tell me" – Law

"You huh, sang?" – Bepo

"And then?" – Law

"Er" – Bepo

"BEPO." – Law

"Well you took off your shirt and then, well people encouraged you to… you know ( ̄□ ̄)" – Bepo

"But I stopped it before anything happened" – Bepo

"What the fuck" – Law

"This is why going out was not a fucking good plan" – Law

"Because you want to strip tease? ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ Don't worry you weren't the only one" – Bepo

"If you hadn't helped me yesterday, I would murder you right now." – Law

"I couldn't help much for the pictures though" – Bepo

"W h" – Law

"Ask the others, and probably the guy you're staying at, too └(o゚∀゚o)┘" – Bepo

"And where am I staying at?" – Law

"Huh didn't catch his name, but he is very nice and has a long nose" – Law

"Great" – Law

"Did you leave already?" – Law

"No, I needed to get some food first. I'm a living being too, you know. Did you get something to eat? Hangover?" – Bepo

"I'm handling it." – Law


"I can't handle it" – Usopp

"But we had a bet." – Nami

"I'm sure we can make an arrangement? (。•̀ᴗ-)✧" – Usopp

"I will sue you" – Nami

"You wouldn't" Usopp

"Listen I know Luffy gave you a kitty. I'm willing to take care of it whenever you need it. I'll create a few things for you, too. Twice a year." – Usopp

"Twice? That's all?" – Nami

"That's already a lot! Imagine how long it takes for me? (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ)" – Usopp

"Alas! And I thought we could get to an arrangement…" – Nami

"Two inventions and the plan of the next three to come!" – Usopp

"Two and I get to choose the two next. With a deadline. For two years." – Nami

"Σ('◉⌓◉') two year? I have deadlines and-" – Usopp

"Well you better get started now then" – Nami

"You're heartless (꒪⌓꒪)" – Usopp

"I still have those pictures stuck in the corner my brain." – Nami


"(「⊙Д⊙)「 Oh Torao did you know?" – Luffy

"Zoro and Sanji are banging! (ง ʘ ʖ ʘ)ง" – Luffy

"Excuse me?" – Torao

"Huh that's what Franky said, laughing" – Luffy

"You mean, they're having sex?" – Torao

"Like, they're together? ᕕ( ◎_◎)ᕗ" – Luffy

"You don't have to be together with someone to have sex. Just like you don't have to have sex with someone when you're dating them." – Torao

"Yeah well they are? Dating? I THINK? (「⊙Д⊙)「" – Luffy

"You think?" – Torao

"I haven't really checked? ఠ ͟ಠ" – Luffy

"No no I was just pointing out the thinking part" – Torao

"Oh" – Luffy

"HEY RUDE? ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ノ" – Luffy

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯" – Torao

"Is that Shachi or Penguin again?" – Luffy

"No?" – Torao

"Who are you Torao would only send smileys when he's being harassed or drunk." – Luffy

"That's horribly specific and I hate that you know that." – Torao


Ero-cook to Marimo.

[Phone call]

[Ongoing call]

[End of the phone call]


"They're dating!" – Luffy

"What makes you so sure?" – Torao

[...]

"Instinct (⊙ヮ⊙)!" – Luffy

"Why am I still here" – Torao


"Did you hear about Sanji and Zoro?" – Usopp

"Yeah?" – Luffy

"Do you know what we should do about it?" – Usopp

"? Party? More food?" – Luffy

"... what?" – Usopp

"Ain't it what we usually do then?" – Luffy

"What are you talking about?" – Usopp

"Zoro and Sanji dating?" – Luffy

"No, they just had a fight ఠ ͟ಠ" – Usopp

"What are you talking about? Sanji just came over and kissed Zoro" – Luffy

"WHAT" – Usopp

"They're on the couch insulting and huh, complimenting each other Idk I'm not sure." – Luffy

"Sanji's leaving for work and Zoro decided to walk with him" – Luffy

"Holy shit ,、'`( ꒪Д꒪),、'`'`,、" – Usopp

"Ikr? He'll take hours to come back home again" – Luffy

"Luffy that's clearly not what my 'holy shit' was referring to" – Usopp


"How was your evening?" – Penguin

"Pretty well actually! (*˘︶˘*). I really enjoyed myself. And you?" – Caty

"Honestly, could have been worse" – Penguin

"So did it go well?" – Caty

"We could say that. Saw Law getting drunk, unforgettable. I bet he will deny it all and say he doesn't remember though. Or he might really not remember, that'd be hilarious" – Penguin

"Law?" – Caty

"Ah yes, my friend's name" – Penguin

"Does this Law have someone in his life?" – Caty

"As in, a partner?" – Penguin

"Yes" – Caty

"Huh no, well not officially, for now I guess. Why are you interested in him?" – Penguin

"Oh, you know, just being curious. Women's nature! ー( ´ ▽ ` )ノ" – Caty


"Oh and we went on the roofs! ╭ (oㅇ‿ o#)ᕗ" – Luffy

"You what?" – Torao

"Well it was Usopp's idea to go there 〜( ̄▽ ̄〜)" – Luffy

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"He and Franky worked on this thing to look at the sky in a different way" – Luffy

"That was so freaking cool" – Luffy

"And where was I?" – Torao

"*the tattooed guy; 'he' I mean" – Torao

"Oh huh he came along! (≧∇≦)/ Kept saying he had to stay awake for some reason" – Luffy

"Oh and I asked him if he wanted a kitty he said yes! So I should visit him at Usopp's to ask which one he'd like, though not a lot of choices left." – Luffy


"You need to come now." – Law

"I'll wait in front of the All Blue restaurant. Please hurry." – Law

[...]

"I'm here in 5. What happened? Did you get Jean?" – Bepo

"No time. He was taking too long. He said he'd be fine." – Law

"You said that, too, yesterday." – Bepo

"How about we never talk about yesterday" – Law

"That's not much of a choice is it?" – Bepo

"Are you driving-texting?" – Law

"This is Shachi typing. Bepo's driving and tells me what to write." – Bepo

"Good. See you in a sec." – Law

"Would you like to have a drink tomorrow? I know a really nice tea house to go to (ʃƪ˘⌣˘)" – Vivi

"Absolutely ( ˆᴗˆ )" – Nami

"4pm?" – Vivi

"I'll come to get you (。•̀ᴗ-)✧" – Nami

"Great see you then (^-^*)/" – Vivi


"Remember when you said you wouldn't rely on Sanji's food for the rest of your life?(థ౪థ)" – Luffy

"It was months ago" – Zoro

"Still ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – Luffy

"Stop it" – Zoro

"Sounds like you lied ( ˘ ³˘)" – Luffy

"Fucking hell I didn't lie" – Zoro

"Oh so you're not eating Sanji's food?" – Luffy

"I will block you." – Zoro

"We are roommates you can't block me!" – Luffy

"Wanna try?" – Zoro

"You need me to find the right flat (「⊙Д⊙)「!" – Luffy

"I can find it myself I'm not stupid I know where I live it's been 4 years!" – Zoro

"... Exactly." – Luffy

"Fuck" – Zoro

"Zoro's in love~ ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎ " – Luffy

"I'm moving out" – Zoro

"To Sanji's?" – Luffy

"Oh mY GoD hH" – Zoro


"Shitty marimo looks pretty pissed what the fuck did you guys do" – Sanji

"Nothing ヽ(´ー`)ノ" – Brook

"Liars" – Sanji

"When are you two moving in together? ૮(ꂧꁞꂧ)ა" – Brook

"FoR FUck's SAkE" – Sanji


"Luffy Tattoos-Man just left" – Usopp

"What so early? I didn't introduce him to the kittens yet! I should have told him to come at my place" – Luffy

"yea sorry, I was busy trying to wake the other and he just left without a word (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – Usopp

"well too bad for him he's missing a great kitty" – Luffy

"Wait, is his friend still there?" – Luffy

"Yeah? ( ᐛ )و" – Usopp

"I could give it to him!" – Luffy

"Or you could, like a normal and understanding person, just ask for the other guy's number to ask if he still wants one rather than just, giving it right away to a perfect stranger?" – Usopp

"Ah that too" – Luffy

"Ask him!" – Luffy


"Law?" – Jean Bart

"Yes?" – Law

"The long-nose man asked for your number" – Jean Bart

"What now? if I forgot something just take it" – Law

"He says you wanted a cat?" – Jean Bart

[...]

"Do you really think I'd want a cat?" – Law

"Did I really think you'd do karaoke half-naked on stage? no. and yet, life is full of surprises. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" – Jean Bart

"No I don't want a cat" – Law

"Well" – Jean Bart

"You'll get to tell him yourself then ('' ̄▽ ̄) " – Jean Bart

"You gave him?" – Law

"Sorry" – Jean Bart

"Fuck Jean" – Law

"I'll buy you pies? (「๑•₃•)「?" – Jean Bart

"That will not change anything and you know it." – Law

[...]

"Apple, please" – Law

" " – Jean Bart


"[Sharing contact] here's your friend's number" – Usopp

"Thanks! d=(´▽`)=b" – Luffy


Luffy to Tattooed-Man

[Missed phone call]

[Missed phone call]

[Missed phone call]


Bepo to Law

[Missed phone call]

[Missed phone call]

"What's up with your phone? I can't reach you" – Bepo

"Someone was calling me at the same time" – Law

"Looks like you have a new best friend (。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – Bepo

"Who would call someone most likely hangover after a party three times for a cat's adoption?" – Law

"Are you talking about Luffy ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ" – Bepo

"You knew?" – Law

"What?" – Bepo

"That he would be at that bar?" – Law

"He was at the bar? Σ('⊙⌓⊙')" – Bepo

"Fuck" – Law


"Luffy I just saw your guy in front of my restaurant?" – Sanji

"My guy?" – Luffy

"The drunken guy, yknow. Zombie-man. Tattooed surgeon. Death hands creep." – Sanji

"Oh yeah! What about him?" – Luffy

"Idk, he looked pale so I went and asked him if he needed anything, but when I approached he snorted. Weirdo." – Sanji

"Remember when we met him?" – Luffy

"Yeah?" – Sanji

"You were as drunk as he were, so he might remember things. (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – Luffy

"?" – Sanji

"Your aborted strip tease? (థฺˇ౪ˇథ)" – Luffy

"WHAT" – Sanji

"Nami has pictures if you want to check" – Luffy

[...]

"Of course she has, she couldn't resist my dream body" – Sanji

"No that would be Zoro :D" – Luffy

[...]

"Alright that's not Luffy talking. Who's with you I will kick him in the throat" – Sanji

"Robin?" – Luffy

"Obviously Robin is an angel I will kick you in the throat Luffy" – Sanji

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯" – Luffy


"I thought you knew what Luffy looked like" – Law

"Well there's a difference between seeing a picture and seeing someone in real!" – Bepo

"How did you react?" – Bepo

"IS THAT WHY YOU DISAPPEARED ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – Bepo

"Please let's just forget about this and take me home" – Law

"No way. We're here, we see you. But we're not leaving until you tell us everything. ヽ[ಡ⌂ಡ]⊃" – Bepo

"Bepo. Shachi. What did I tell you before?" – Law

"'My life isn't only about that guy'?" – Bepo

"I don't remember a fucking thing." – Law

"Oh riiight" – Bepo

"How convenient" – Bepo

"Get in" – Bepo

"Do you know a 'Caty'?" – Penguin

"No" – Law

[...]

"Why?" – Law

"Nothing" – Penguin


"Do you think we die a little more when we sleep?" – Usopp

"..." – Luffy

"Ask the Surgeon of Death" – Usopp


"Is sleeping something you do to live or to get closer to death" – Luffy

"Like a preparation or something" – Luffy

"Maybe we were never alive" – Luffy

"What does being alive mean really, like maybe sleeping is actually when we live" – Luffy

"IF I DREAM ABOUT MEAT DOES THAT MEAN THERE IS MEAT IN THE AFTERLIFE?" – Luffy

"Torao?" – Luffy

"Congrats Luffy-ya" – Torao

"I'm definitely turning notifications off at night now." – Torao

"? OK but what about my question?" – Luffy

[…]

"Torao?" – Luffy

"( _ ) DID YOU DIE?" – Luffy


"I think Torao might be dead" – Luffy

"So sleep does bring us closer to death" – Usopp

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" – Luffy

"Yes" – Usopp

"Sleep is for the weak" – Usopp

"I asked for six pizza" – Luffy

"Which one this time? Final Fantasy? World of Warcraft?" – Usopp

"Hm something new?" – Luffy

"Marvel's Spider-Man PS4?" – Usopp

"10 pizza" – Luffy

"I'll send a text to Chopper when he's awake" – Usopp


"He's a dumbass." – Law

"It's 4am what" – Bepo

"Oh Luffy" – Bepo

"You love him don't you" – Bepo

"I hate him" – Law

"You can't fight it you're morosexual Law (¬‿¬)" – Bepo

"I'm what?" – Law

"Attracted by dumbasses" – Bepo

"You did say he was a dumbass" – Bepo

"Why are you all doing this to me at 4am" – Law

"You also woke me up that's only fair (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑ " – Bepo


"Wanna come over for video games? (ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶" – Usopp

"Usopp it's 7am…" – Chopper

"Oh already?" – Usopp

"... How long have you been awake?" – Chopper

"We have Christmas sweets and chocolate (。•̀ᴗ-)✧" – Usopp

"I'll be here in 15 minutes ((๑✧ꈊ✧๑))" – Chopper

"I give you 10, Luffy won't be resist any longer" – Usopp


"Luffy-ya, I should probably tell you something." – Torao

"Me too!" – Luffy

"We should meet! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – Luffy

"What?" – Torao

"Well we're in the same town aren't we? It's been years since we talked now!" – Luffy

"Now this is quite an hyperbole" – Torao

"A what?" – Luffy

"Is the surgeon of death backing off?" – Luffy

"Is that a date" – Torao

"I MEANT A DARE" – Torao

"That's both" – Luffy

[...]

"Alright." – Torao


This is my Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
By the way, the plot is progressing, and we're approaching the end. Next chapter should still be in text messages, but I'll probably, one day, have to switch to a normal narration. Or not. Who knows? Not me.
Just a nice reminder this is fiction, and I'm playing with the infamous chaotic One Piece characters - they are NOT an example of life. Take care of yourselves, don't drink too much (especially on New Year's Eve), don't text while driving (phone calls included), and don't do anything Nami would do to win a bet (i.e.: don't trick your friends, this fic made it funny, irl? it's not cool).
Thank you again for your feedbacks, I love you all :D