Sorry guys. I know I am late time but I did what you requested. I found a beta. Thanks to her for everything she taught me and helped me. next chapter is completed but I need new beta's and I wont publish anything till it beta read so keep patience and REVIEW it only thing I am writing for.

Chapter 9

The only thing I'm thinking after landing on bed is what Esme will be going through because of me. I wish I could take her place. I know Esme believes that Carlisle won't hurt her, but what else is there to do in a dungeon? Her words are still clear in my mind "He punishes me emotionally, never physically." I really don't know what it means, but it sounds cruel. It can't be worse than physical punishment. None of it would have happened if I would have remembered my position. She is in trouble because of me. Master Jasper was right— I forgot his rule, his given posture, and most importantly, that I am a slave.

As evening came close, I got more and more worried. I'm not sure what should I do, follow Master Jasper's schedule and help Esme in kitchen or follow Master Carlisle's punishment of not using my hands and feet, and rest as he ordered. At last I decided to go down stairs to ask them.

When I reached the down stairs, I saw Master Jasper having dinner and James serving him food.

"Who gave you permission to come down?" Master Jasper asked when he saw me crawling down the stairs.

"I-I came to help Esme in kitchen, according to schedule, Master."

"Esme is not cooking tonight. Now go to your room." He dismissed me, so it's easy for me now. I just have to rest in my room without worrying about anything.

"Yes, Master," I said happily. I turned and stared crawling up.

"Stop. Come here have dinner with me." My happiness is short-lived as I turn again and see Master Jasper smiling toward me. I don't know what he is up to, but his smile seems as cruel as his belt.

"You haven't learnt your lesson yet. Still hesitating in following orders?"

I know Master Carlisle wouldn't let him punish me, but god knows what else he can come up with. How much I will have to endure to learn this lesson. I crawling to him and kneeled at his feet, knees apart, looking down just as he likes. His hand found my hairs and snatched my head up.

"I know you know I can't punish you, but I am counting everything. I will take it out on you when you are mine," he said and then throws my head toward floor.

No, this can't happen. Is he really going to choose me over her? I am old and used, why does he want me? He only wants to hurt me. That's why? But what did I do? I am doing everything to please him, but still failing in every attempt.

"Have your dinner, pet." His voice broke my thoughts and James put a dog bowl in front of me. Till this time I hadn't thought how I would eat without using my hand, but now it's becoming clearer. This is not humiliation; this is degradation and its worse than beating. I can't do this. I wish he would rather punish me, beat me, or kill me.

"You are getting on my nerves. Are you going to eat or you want me to force you?" I started shaking my head no.

"I …I can't do this. I won't...beat me all you want …I just can't…"

"Ok. Very well. James ask Carlisle to come here and see this."

"No, please, Master." I put my head on his shoe but he didn't stop James.

I am trembling and sobbing at my decision. I should have done as he asked, but now I have to face Master Carlisle. More punishment, more humiliation. Every time I think I won't disobey him, he asks something beyond belief and I do it, over and over again. This day doesn't want to end.

"I told you, Carlisle. She needs punishment from me. This humiliation thing doesn't work with her. See, she is refusing to follow my order."

I look up and see Master Carlisle coming toward me with a strange expression on his face. He looks angry like someone has waked him up from sleep.

"What's the matter with you? Do you me to put you in the slave training program?" he asked in a hard voice.

I shivered at his threat, no slave in this world wants to go through that again.

"No, Master, please." I put my head on floor in front of him.

"Then do as he says and eat your food. I don't have time for all this."

"I can't." I don't know where this courage is coming from, but it's not good. I want to keep my mouth shut and throw this courage out of my system. It will only make things worse.

"What? What did you just say?" Master Carlisle's clam voice broke me completely.

"Please, Master, have some mercy on this worthless slave. Please, I beg you. I can't eat like this."

"You should start pleasing your masters. You wouldn't be in this condition if you would have. And stop begging. It won't get you anywhere. It's not my place to give you mercy. Ask your master and start following the orders. I am not punishing you for your disobedience because you are in bad shape already, but I will make you regret it later."

"And you, Jasper, there are ways to control slaves other than punishing. Next time, don't disturb me while I am in dungeon for such silly things." He is mad, maybe more than that. God knows what's going on with Esme in dungeon.

Master Jasper just nods in agreement.

When Master Carlisle is gone I tried again.

"Master, please, I beg you. Have some mercy on me." Master Jasper seems happy with my begging.

"I want you to talk about yourself in third person from now on." Where is this coming from? Did I talk like that in front of him? But this time I didn't think twice about it and I follow his order.

"This slave is sorry, Master. Please have some mercy on her." It's not a new thing for me and not particularly disgusting either. If I get free from this degradation I will talk my whole life in third person.

"I am being lenient and kind with you. Otherwise, I would have made you eat from floor and make your tongue do the cleaning job. Eat. now." Now I really think he is being kind, but still I can't. I know things will get worse if I don't do it now. But, I just can't.

"Please…"

"James. Hold her hands."

"No...please…" I hold my hands tightly to my chest, but it doesn't work. I struggle and it got Master angrier. He slaps and kicks me to get my hands free, James pulling my hair to loosen my grip. After some time they win, James holds my hands behind my back and Master forces my mouth on bowl. It's oatmeal. My face, my nose, even my hair is filled with it. I know I can't fight it now so I stop thinking and start eating.

"Don't you dare stop before finishing it." And so I eat like a bitch from that bowl.

I am just finishing when I see Esme coming out from dungeon and Master Carlisle is just behind her. Her eyes are full of tears and she is looking at floor. When she sees me she stops, the look on her face brings tears to my eyes. I wish the earth would swallow me in this moment. She turns toward Master Carlisle.

"Upstairs," Master Carlisle said to her. She nods and leaves without looking at me.

Master Carlisle comes toward me.

"You need to start learning or you always get yourself and her in trouble."

"I-I am sorry, Master."

He is not happy with my answer. He shakes his head and moves toward the stairs. I shouldn't stop him; it's not my place to ask questions, but I just can't stand not knowing. I need to ask even if it gets him mad at me.

"Master…Master Carlisle." He stops in his tracks when I say his name.

"Please, can I see her once, Master?" I don't ask permission to ask him, I just did it. I don't know what I would have done if he said no.

He turns. His eyes hold a kindness which I have never seen before.

"I told her to put salve on your bruises, so she will come to your room tonight. You can see her at that time, but I forbade her to talk to you, so don't encourage her to do so or she will earn more punishment because of you."

"Thank you, Master." He didn't say anything and left.

"I told you to talk about yourself in third person, but you didn't."

"I am…this slave is sorry, Master."

"You will be. Go to your room."

I want to clean my face and hair but I can't use my hands. So I decide to plead with my master because I know he likes it.

"Please, Master. Does this slave have permission to clean her face, Master?"

He laughs and throws full glass water into my face. I gasped as the cold water hits my face.
It brought my hands to my face to clean water from my eyes. It's an involuntary reaction, but Master Jasper gets angrier and slaps me again.

"I didn't give you permission to use your hands. I don't want your face cleaned till the time Edward comes. He needs to know what I did to you. Go to your room. And for your information tomorrow is also mine because Edward won't be back. He is more interested in finding a new slave."

I just look at him. How can someone be so cruel? Why is he so eager to hurt Master Edward? Why with me …

"James, help her go upstairs" Master Jasper's voice broke my train of thought. I move toward stairs but James uses the excuse to hit me and kick me all the way to my door like a dog.

When I enter the room I think he will leave, but he comes inside. I turn and see him putting on the latch.

"W-what are you doing?" My voice is filled with the terror I am feeling.

"Hummmm…..it's been a long time. You must have missed me."

"Leave now. Master knows you are with me." He want to get me in trouble, I know it.

"Don't worry. I can tell him you seduced me with your ass while you crawled up. Seriously, I like you this way. Your skirt moves so good. It's mouthwatering."

"Shut up. Just shut up." He comes toward me and has me standing on my toes with my hair in his hands.

"You won't talk to me like that. I am not your master who can't punish you. I am James—I do whatever I want whenever I want."

"Why are you doing this? What did I do?" Tears flow down my cheeks.

"You didn't do anything, that's the problem. Why don't you do it now? Remove your cloths so I can have little fun." He has his hands under my skirt by this time.

"Don't, please." I start shaking in terror. I am scared of what he is going to do to me and more scared what Master Jasper will do when he finds out.

"You know the bad thing about you? You beg a lot, but you know what….. it turns me on." His fingers trail between my legs and find my underwear. I start hitting his chest, but that gets him more excited. He pinches my clit between his fingers and I scream.

Master Jasper must have heard me. Within seconds his voice comes. "JAMES!"

That gets me free from his grip. He looks mad and growls loudly.

"I hate him…and you. I am not done with you. I will make you scream worse than this." He kicks me in the stomach and leaves.

So much happened in this one day. I wish Master Edward was here. But he is not. God knows what else is waiting for me.

Esme comes in my room late that night. Her eyes are red and her face tear-soaked. I can't believe Master Carlisle is still punishing her. I hate myself for putting her in this condition. She smiles when she sees me staring at her. I can clearly read her eyes. Her emotion for me is same as mine for her. We both are punished tonight and we pity each other. She sits beside me and looks at me for a long time. I'm sure my face and hair still have oatmeal in them. She takes me in the bathroom and starts cleaning me. As much as I want get clean, I can't get her in trouble because of me anymore. I know she is not allowed to talk, but I can and I have to.

"No, Esme... Master Jasper told me he doesn't want my face cleaned." She doesn't agree. She shakes her head and starts cleaning again.

"Esme, I don't want to get in trouble again, please." She holds my face in her hands and nods her head. I don't fight with her because I know she will do it even if it gets her in trouble.

She gives me a full bath and even washes my dirty hair. Then she sits me in bed and starts putting salve on my bruises. My back must have looked worse because she starts crying while she is putting salve on it.

"No, Esme, don't cry. I am fine." She swallows hard to control her tears and brings her hands to hold her ears in a sorry gesture.

"No, Esme, nooooo... It's not your fault." How can she think like this? It's only my fault. Her eyes are still full of tears. I think to cheer her up.

"I am sure it looks very colorful. You know how much I like colorful things." This doesn't even bring small smile to her face. She stares at me with narrowed eyes. I know she can see right through me.

"Ok…It hurts like hell. But it's not because of you, Esme. It's my fault. I should have…" She doesn't even let me finish and puts finger on my mouth.

She gestures for me to lie on bed. When I did, she tucks me inside the blanket and puts her hands on my eyes. I try to sleep under her hands. She is so much like my mother. I never missed her before but I do now. My eyes fill with tears. She must have felt them. She takes her hands away from my eyes. Her eyes hold so much concern for me and a simple question: what's wrong? I doubt we need words now.

"I love you, Esme." Finally, I say something that makes her smile

She kisses my forehead and closes my eyes again. This time I finally find peace under her hands and fall into deep sleep.

... ...

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