Chapter Nine: "Determined" Edward's POV

God, she's so gorgeous.

I stared at the sleeping Bella longingly, temporarily forgetting Carlisle standing next to me. Care to do the honors? he thought, offering me the needle.

I didn't want to, but I did. If nothing else it was an excuse to touch her. Sure, I had been touching her every night for the past week. My first night with her and her dreams had been powerful enough to make me come back for more. Tonight would be our eighth night together.

And her blood was growing more and more infected.

I thought I could see a change of color in the crimson liquid, but I knew I was just imagining it because of the change in the stench. And the taste. A tiny drop of her blood welled against my finger, and I quickly tasted it before spitting it out in the paper cup. "Not good," I whispered to Carlisle.

I know, son. Let's discuss chemo options.

"You're the expert," I told him. "What kind would you suggest?"

I instantly recognized the pills he thought of. "Yeah. I have no complaints about that one…except it's strong. Really strong."

He nodded. She needs it, though. Can't you smell the increase of the cells?

"Yeah," I said solemnly. "Should we start it tomorrow?"

He nodded. I think so. I've never moved this quickly with a patient before…

"We have to try, Carlisle."

I know. She needs a normal life ASAP.

"Yes. I see she has not been eating much."

Her nourishment is coming from the IV. She can't keep any food down.

I felt the fault lines rip across my chest. It seemed almost criminal to make the chemotherapy worse.

"Carlisle…" I sighed quietly. "I don't know what we're going to do…"

It's only been a week, Edward. No other doctor would even consider adjusting her chemo this early. But I can't even smell any traces of the medications in her blood…it's not touching it.

"I know," I choked.

I'm going to leave you with her and go home to Esme. Be careful.

I nodded.

As soon as he left, I crawled into bed with her. While brooding over her files that day, I realized that I had very uncharacteristically not indulged in something I used to live for. The visual part of her beauty had stunned me for an entire week. I hadn't even thought of the audio part.

She groaned softly as I bravely moved her arms from her chest. Seven nights of laying by her side had reintroduced all of her noises to me, and I knew that she wasn't anywhere close to awake. She sprawled out across the bed, instantly reeling from my cold touch. So she isn't dreaming of me yet…I cursed myself as I realized how disappointed I was in this.

Her dreams had not been anywhere as vivid as the first night. There was little talking; mostly it was unintelligible garble. And of course, her thoughts were absolutely silent. I had no indication of what she had been dreaming about, but she wasn't shy about wrapping her arms around me. We hadn't kissed again, which was a good thing…but it was also so bad.

This was the closest I had gotten to her since the first night. As she stretched out, I slowly and silently slid down the bed, bending my knees so I would have room. My hand greedily slid down her stomach. I could already tell she had lost a little weight.

Finally, my head reached its target level. Watching her face intently, I slowly and lightly placed my head on her chest, just above her breast so it was pressed against my cheek. That wasn't why I was doing this, though. I swallowed hard and cleared my head so I could focus on my goal.

And finally, I heard it and nothing else.

The slow thrumming of her heart.

Of course it is the most recognizable sound in my world. It's almost as beautiful as her face…so strong and vital and determined…

There wasn't anything I would trade for this moment. It had been so long since I was in this exact position, so long since I had heard that marvelous sound.

I relaxed a little and put more weight on her chest, wrapping my arms around her. She was bundled up in a blanket and wasn't cold at all. I would have heard the goose pimples rising on her skin…

A few hours later, it hit me that her heart was the only thing I could hear. So, my love, it's going to be a silent night. I looked at her lovely face. She was sound asleep and so peaceful. At this moment, it appeared that nothing could disturb this sleeping angel. Oh, my Bella. How I wish I could have this moment for forever.

The dreams came later, but they were vague. All that happened was that sometime around sunrise, her arms wrapped around me and she kissed the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said automatically.

"What if we went to see Esme?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, love."

"Why not?"

I sighed. "Because it will hurt you…"

Her body stiffened. "Esme won't hurt me. She loves me."

Time for my nightly heartbreak. "I love you, too, but I still hurt you…" I moaned.

"No, Edward…you're beautiful…"

I chuckled once at her shallow dreams. As if immortal beauty excused any mortal flaws. "You're even more beautiful. You could call us 'Beauty and the Beast'."

She weakly smacked my shoulder. "Hush, Edward. You're doing that ruining-the-moment thing again."

"I'm sorry. Forgive me, love."

"How could I not?"

"You're so gracious, Bella."

She frowned in disagreement. "There's nothing…" Her words faded into some muttering that I couldn't understand.

A minute later, I assumed that she was silent again, and I realized that I couldn't afford any more time with her.

I softly kissed her hand. "Good night, my love. I'll see you tomorrow night."

The little crease between her eyebrows appeared. "Always nights, just like a real vampire."

I laughed lightly. "That's what I am."

She smiled. "Oh, Edward. Good night. I love you."

"I love you, too." I kissed her cheek and stood up on my feet.

"Oh, Edward?" she murmured.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I still want to see Esme."