Hi again! Okay now after last time we updated, we had a lot of people point out the fact about vampires not getting hurt and not being able to pass out. Well for the purposes of our story they can pass out, because of something going on in the brain, okay? And they can be hurt by fire because, as I'm sure you know, these vampires can be destroyed by fire. Now as for getting bumps and all that jazz, our dearest Edward will explain all that in the first part of this chapter. I do believe that we will be wrapping this story up soon (sad) but I do believe we have another story in the wings. A little Halloween special (even though here its no where near Halloween). But please enjoy this latest chapter!

Disclaimer: We do not own the characters! They are (c) Stephenie Meyer! We just torture them.

Week during – Final Part

Title: We Go Shopping the French Way

EPOV

I wasn't sure what had happened or how long Carlisle had kept me under but when I finally came to I was very confused. My chest was covered in bandages, which were signed by Emmett and Jasper, and I was sitting on my bed. I looked around and found a note on the bedside table. I instantly recognized Carlisle's handwriting.

Edward, it said, There are a few things I have to tell you. First: I drugged you. Now please understand that things were clearly not going well for you and I thought that rendering you unconscious would be the best idea. Second, due to everything Bella made you eat I had to pump your stomach. It was over pretty quickly and I tried to tell everyone that the bandages were not really necessary but Emmett insisted that-

The handwriting changed abruptly and I recognized Emmett's messy scribbles. Yo, Eddie, chicks dig bandages. I even convinced Carlisle to wrap a few around me so that Rose would give me a little "sympathy". I groaned and rolled my eyes.

The writing changed back to Carlisle's. And Edward I want you to know that Esme explained the reason behind the cookies. Bella felt horrible about having tortured you so much. She didn't know what you would have to go through after eating all that food. She couldn't decide what to do to try and make it up to you so Esme asked her what she usually did. But when Bella said she usually made cookies, Esme was too excited about being able to bake to remind Bella that cookies would not be a good idea. And as for that whole little outburst at the end, I'm afraid that's my fault. The medicine I gave Bella to stop the pain actually raised her hormones and causes more dramatic mood swings and outbreaks. Also, I believe she was in shock because of everything that had happened. Please don't be angry with her.

I sighed and started to get up from the bed when I felt something press against my chest and heard a soft moan. I looked down and found Bella curled up next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I was surprised, she was so light and so quiet I hadn't noticed she was there. I frowned at her; I was still a little annoyed. I was about to get up and storm out when she mumbled my name.

"Edward," she whispered, she shifted around a lot and said, "I'm sorry . . . so, so sorry . . ." she shifted around more and wouldn't stop until I put my arm around her shoulders. I sighed; I was a sucker for this little human girl who made me completely irrational. I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back while I waited for her to wake up. And a few minutes later her brown eyes slowly slid open and stared blearily in my direction. She blinked a few times and then things must have come into focus because she gasped, "Edward! I didn't think you'd be here. I'm so sorry about -"

"Bella," I said, "You don't have to worry, Carlisle explained-"

"But I saw you fall and you hit your head and there was a huge lump and you had to eat all that food and then I had a dream that I made you eat more cookies and that there was an operation and Emmett was yelling."

"Bella that wasn't a dream. That all happened."

"What?!" She shrieked. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I should just leave right now. I'm no good here, I'm only causing trouble."

Now I got a little annoyed with her, "Bella you aren't going anywhere. Everything is fine here. Emmett was just a little annoyed because Alice saw him get thrown out the window and was teasing him that he got beat up by a human girl. I don't have a bump on my head, vampires don't get bumps. I think what you saw was a sock that someone had left on the floor that got stuck to my head when I slipped off the stairs."

"What about Esme," she asked quietly.

"Well Esme did burn her hands because as you know, fire is the only thing that can destroy vampires. But since it wasn't real fire it only hurt her a little. She's already healed by now. And no she doesn't blame you," I said, anticipating her next question. "She's calling it a unique 'human experience' or something."

Bella seemed to accept this for a minute. Then a new idea dawned on her. "The kitchen," she groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Esme is looking forward to redecorating it."

"No," Bella protested, "I need to be punished for this. You can't let me get off so easy. I deserve to be punished and punished severely."

I raised one eyebrow, "Bella are you sure you want to do this?" She crossed her arms over her chest and nodded once. I sighed and mumbled, "You're going to regret this," but she chose to ignore me.

Talking only low enough for my family to hear I said, "Carlisle, Esme, Bella would like to be punished for her actions."

"She doesn't need to be punished! I'm more than happy with the way everything turned out," Esme's voice floated up to my ears.

"She insists," I replied, pegging Bella with an annoyed stare.

"What's going on?" She whispered.

I shook my head as Carlisle said, "If she insists on being punished she can clean up the foam and glass that's downstairs in the kitchen."
I looked at Bella and then said, "Somehow I think that she will demand a more severe punishment."
I heard Esme's voice float back up the stairs, "Alright, then we'll put her in Alice's hands."
Esme had barely finished her sentence when Alice let out a high-pitched squeal. Bella clamped her hands over her ears and winced as Alice came bursting into the room. "I love you all!" She screamed as she scooped Bella into her arms and ran out the door. I didn't even blink. Once Alice had gone rushing out I smoothed my hair and sighed, pitying Bella for the torture she was no doubt about to endure at the hands of Alice.

BPOV
I didn't know what was going on. I had figured out that Edward was talking to his family about me because if I concentrated I could see his lips moving just a little but try as I might I couldn't hear what they were saying. Then all of a sudden I heard Alice squeal and she burst into the room, gathered me into her arms while screaming something at vampire speed, something she does when she gets really excited, and raced me out the door. She threw me into the car and we throttled off towards the mall.
Once we had jerked to a stop in a parking space I asked Alice, "What the heck is going on?"
"Well, Bella," She started to say; at least I think that's what she said. I couldn't tell because she was talking at vampire speed. She must have noticed too because she took a deep breath and said, slower this time, "Since you insisted on being punished Carlisle and Esme are allowing you to clean up the kitchen."
"Then why are we at the mall?"
"Because Edward thought you would be demanding a more severe punishment. So they left you in my capable hands. And don't worry; once I'm through with you, you'll still be able to clean the kitchen. And you'll look adorable doing it." She smiled, attempting to reassure me, but something about the glint in her eyes told me that something horrible was going to happen to me soon.
As it turns out, I was right. Apparently Alice thought she would be nice and ease me into her latest fashion project by starting with the accessories. But this had the opposite effect. I was now more worried because clearly she had planned out my outfit in excruciating detail. And the more I saw the accessories the more worried I became; I didn't know what the outfit was and my ideas were becoming progressively darker and more sinister.
At first I wasn't worried. Tons of outfits could involve black knee-high socks. That wasn't too bad. I was a little suspicious about the white frilly waist-apron but I assumed that it would come in handy while I was cleaning. We stopped off at a cleaning store and Alice bought a few handy materials. She got me a handheld vacuum, a dustpan and broom, rubber gloves and an old-fashioned style feather duster. I was starting to get nervous when Alice bought the black headband with a white frilly guard that would stand straight up over my head. I was still willing to give Alice the benefit of the doubt, but when she bought the black guarder with white lace peaking out I drew the line.

"Alice what the heck is this for?"

She grinned at me, "Shh, Bella. It's a surprise. I'll show you when we're finished."

"No," I said. "You'll tell me now!"

"Nuh-uh! Don't worry; we're almost finished." Alice also bought me elbow-length black gloves with more bits of lace at the top. She finished off the accessories with a pair of black stiletto heels. I protested but Alice assured me, "Trust me, Bella, you'll have a lot more fun with these!" She finished up the outfit with a quick stop to the costume shop where she picked up the most ridiculous outfit I had ever seen and never expected to wear. A French maid's uniform. The dress itself was simple enough. A fluffy, frilly white strapless dress that only went to about my mid-thigh and a black skirt that was just a little bit shorter than the dress. I was so busy blushing I didn't notice her run off and snatch up one final scandalous accessory.

"Alice I'm never going to forgive you for this," I whined.

"Oh sure you will, Bella. And trust me, it will drive Edward crazy!" I crossed my arms over my chest and mumbled something about not wanting to make all the trips back to the stores again. "Atta girl!" Alice shouted.

We drove home with the backseat full of shopping bags of various sizes. We were just pulling into the driveway when I thought of a snag in Alice's little plan. "Wait, Alice, won't Edward already know about the outfit?"

"Nope," she grinned, "I've been thinking about various important documents, like the Constitution and the Bill of Rights all day. And I've been trying to recite them backwards. In Japanese." She grinned like the evil little pixie she was.

I sighed and shook my head. She ushered me inside and told me to get changed in the downstairs bathroom, shoving a ton of bags into my arms. "I'm going to make sure Edward stays upstairs. Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme are still in the living room. They want to see you before you start cleaning. I recommend you start things off by dusting." She grinned again and danced off.

I locked myself in the bathroom and dropped the bags. I took off my old clothes and laid them on the counter. I was wondering which bag to start with when I saw one that said "Start Here" in big black letters. I rolled my eyes and reached into the bag. What I pulled out horrified me. Alice had snuck off and bought me black underwear with white lace around the edges. Tiny black underwear with 'bad kitty' written across the back of it. I groaned but obediently slipped out of my old underwear and into this one. Next I slipped on the thigh-high solid black socks and found the clips that Alice had left that would keep the socks from slipping down my legs. Blushing all the while I pulled on the lacy guarder and left it high on my thigh. I pulled out the little white dress and found another note from Alice. If I was blushing before I was positively tomato-like now. Alice said that in order to avoid 'spoiling the outfit' with bra straps I was instructed not to wear a bra. Why couldn't I just wear a strapless one? I asked myself. And that's when I saw the second note.

"Because I couldn't find one to match the panties you're wearing. ~Alice."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. I would have to remember to kill Alice later. Grumbling all the while I slipped into the dress, which had a little 'built-in bra' like you see in camisoles. I pulled on the skirt next and then the gloves. I made a face as I secured the matching choker-style neckband. I didn't dare look in the mirror but realized I would have to in order to make sure my headband was on correctly. I crouched down behind the counter so that I could only see my head and straightened the headband. I grabbed the old feather duster and set out to face my doom.

Now some people might call this poor thinking on my part. I would agree with them. By now I should have been expecting the blinding flash of Rosalie's camera. But of course, I wasn't. So when Rosalie snapped my picture the second I walked in I screamed. I spun around and crashed into Emmett who had come rushing into the room when I screamed. I bounced off of his chest and landed on the floor. "Ow," I whined.

"Whoa," Emmett whistled.

I looked down at myself and realized, not only was I wearing a French maid's uniform in front of Emmett, but when I had landed my legs were split open and he could see up my tiny skirt.

I screamed again and jammed by legs together, trying to pull my skirt down farther over my legs.

By now my blush had spread to the top of my head and my ears as well as my neck. "Emmett you pervert!"

"Don't worry, Bella," Rosalie said. "I've got it covered. Esme hold my camera." Esme caught the camera with ease and began snapping photos as Rosalie grabbed Emmett's ear, twisted it, and flipped him with one hand, putting her foot on his chest. "Don't try to look up Bella's skirt again. No games for a week as of right now, and if you do anything perverted again I'll make it a year." Emmett gasped and started whimpering, promising Rosalie that he would be a good little vampire for as long as I was around. That time Esme got a video.

I had to admit, it was pretty funny. Once I had finished laughing I decided to get to work. The sooner I started the sooner I could finish and get out of this crazy outfit. But before I could start cleaning Alice came running down the stairs and appeared next to me. "Bella before you get to work you don't you think you should explain yourself like I taught you?" She was giving me a look and wiggling her eyebrows. I remembered the little skit she taught me and groaned.

"Alice do I-"

But then she interrupted me screaming, "Ow!" Her voice was a scarily accurate impression of mine. For a moment I thought that I had yelled and not her. "There's glass in my finger! Ow! Edward help me, it hurts!"

"No, Alice I know it's you." Edward shouted from downstairs.

I was so mesmerized by Alice's imitation of my voice that I didn't notice when she stuck a small shard of glass into my finger. I wailed in pain and begged Edward to come help me, now sincerely wanting his help. Alice must have seen Edward cave because she quickly began moving me around and forcing me into a pose. Thankfully it wasn't an explicit pose. She had me kneel down on the floor and then sit back onto my heels. I leaned gently forward and she placed my good hand on the floor in front of my knees while I held the hand with the glass shard aloft. Alice went to stand beside Rosalie and watch from the couch with the rest of the family as if this was a TV drama. Edward peeked downstairs and glanced warily at me. After finding me close to tears with a piece of glass in my hand, he decided to come help me.

For whatever reason Edward didn't notice my choice of clothing until he was kneeling in front of me. When he did he raised an eyebrow and asked, "Bella? What are you wearing?"

Not ready to answer yet I held my hand up for his inspection and said quietly, "Please take it out, it hurts." Edward momentarily forgot my outfit and focused on pulling out the glass. I barely felt the pinch when he pulled it out. Bringing up finger up he kissed the little wound and started to unwrap a band-aid. "Where did you get that?" I asked as he wrapped it around my finger.

"With a girlfriend like you, you learn quickly to always keep a few medical supplies on hand." He smiled. "Now why are you dressed like that?"

I blushed but obediently went into my little skit. I walked over to the couch and said, "To apologize it would be my honor to clean up the mess I caused." I bowed and then turned to leave. I didn't look at Edward as I passed and as it turns out I would pay dearly for it.

When I passed I felt Edward flick the back of my skirt up and, as luck would have it, the entire thing flashed up thanks to the wire band around the bottom. I screamed, Emmett laughed and Edward said, "My, my Bella, what a naughty little kitty you are." Rosalie's camera flashed a few times and more snickers broke out.

With my face now an attractive cherry red I slapped Edward in the face and, after pushing down my skirt stormed into the kitchen and began cleaning up. But as I was cleaning up I realized I shouldn't be embarrassed. I should be furious with Edward! Soon enough tears began building in my eyes and my rage swelled. I threw down my vacuum and tore off the little headband. I untied the apron from around my waist and began balling it up.

I stormed into the living room where everyone was still sitting and I screamed, "You want naughty, Edward? Go look in a mirror! You can keep this stupid outfit but I'm going home!" I threw my apron in his shocked face and I stormed out, grabbing my keys from the hanger on the wall before running out to my truck. I opened the door and gunned the engine, flying out of the Cullen's driveway and nearly hitting several trees as I went. I didn't want to go home so I drove around for a few minutes, trying to find somewhere he where he couldn't find me. Finally I stopped at the convenience store in town. There was a big blood drive van out front and I figured I would be safe from Edward there, especially if I parked out of view.

I was so busy trying to get away from Edward that I didn't notice who was sitting in my backseat until they sat up and said my name.

I spun around and caught side of Jasper smiling creepily at me. I screamed. "Alice!" I started yelling. I flung open my door, still screaming, and tried to leap out, unfortunately I was still wearing my maid's uniform and those stupid stiletto heels. My heel got stuck on the floor mat and I went tumbling into empty space. I squeezed my eyes shut and prepared for impact. But the impact didn't come. When I opened my eyes I caught sight of Edward trying not to laugh.

"Hello, Bella love," he said. I glared at him.

"Aw, man! I got that on video," Emmett boomed. "Look Edward!" Emmett rushed over and proceeded to replay the clip over and over again, his laugh getting a little louder every time I screamed. "It's even better in slow-mo!" And he proceeded to replay the clip super slowly watching my every flail and listening to my drawn-out scream. Finally it was too much for Edward. He stumbled backwards and landed flat on his butt laughing hysterically. He didn't stop laughing even when I landed on his chest, forcing the air out of his lungs.

Meanwhile Alice was pulling Jasper out of the backseat by his ear and giving him a long lecture. A moment later Rosalie was dragging Emmett away and I saw Carlisle and Esme standing at the edge of the parking lot. I tried to stand up and walk over to them, to apologize again for causing more trouble. But as soon as I stood up I had to sit back down again. My ankle was killing me from when I fell.

"Ow," I winced. That sobered Edward up instantly. He was looking me in the eyes before I could blink and asking what was wrong. "I think I sprained my ankle," I said quietly.

In one fluid movement Edward stood up and was cradling me in his arms. "Let's go get you fixed up again, Bella."

I could almost feel my hormones spike. I made a face. "Right, because the poor little human always needs saving."

"What?" Edward asked, thoroughly bewildered.

"You think you're so much better than me. Just like you think your beautiful and strong and, and . . . wait a minute. You are beautiful and strong and . . . DAMMIT, EDWARD. WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT?" I pouted and Edward laughed and carried me into the store, careful to keep my skirt as close to my body as possible to avoid flashing all the people inside. Unfortunately as soon as we stepped inside I saw the one person that I did not want to see. "Edward," I whispered. "Turn around, now!" But it was too late.

"Bella?" I flinched and squeezed my eyes shut as my name was said. I slowly opened them and smiled weakly.

"Hey Dad."

Charlie gawked back at us. "Bella, why is he holding you like that and why are you dressed like THAT?!"

"Listen, Dad, there's a reasonable explanation for-"

"Charlie! How nice to see you. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Alice? What are – oh no. You too?"

I looked over Edward shoulder and gaped at Alice, Rosalie and even Esme. All of whom stood in the doorway of the store all dressed in maid's outfits similar to mine. The dresses were all the same but there were a few small details that separated them. Rosalie's stockings were fishnets instead of solid black like mine. Alice had knee-high black socks but hers were mostly see-through. Esme's were knee-high and white with a puff of black lace at the top. All three girls wore stiletto heels and the same little headbands and neckbands I was wearing. Rosalie was wearing fingerless lace gloves that went up to her elbows. Alice had no gloves but did have the frilly armbands. Esme was wearing white wrist-length gloves with a little black netting at the edge. Behind them appeared Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett, each standing behind their respective wives. Each of them was wearing a tuxedo.

"Hello, Charlie," Carlisle said, smooth as always. "So nice to see you again."

"How've you been, Charlie?" Esme asked in her sweetest voice, looking completely natural in her maid's uniform.

"What? Oh, fine, I've been . . . I've been fine. Why are you all dressed like that?" Charlie kept his glare fixed onto Edward, attempting to stare him down.

"Hospital benefit," Carlisle said.

"I wanted help cleaning the house," Esme offered.

"There was a sale at the costume store," Rosalie said.

"Just trying on some old Halloween costumes," Alice said.

"I asked them to do it," Jasper boasted.

"It was a dare," I said hurriedly.

"Hello, Charlie, sir. Nice day today isn't it? I take it you don't have work. Did you hear about the baseball game today?" Edward said, not bothering to make an excuse.

Charlie ignored all the excuses and kept on glaring at Edward. It wasn't until Emmett yelled, "I've got it!" did Charlie take his eyes off of Edward. "You see, Charlie," Emmett explained. "We had a little gamble about a football game,"

"You were betting even though you're underage?"

"No, no, no! You see it was during halftime and Rosalie had just torn off her uniform,"

This time Charlie turned to Rosalie. "You were stripping?"

"No, no, no!" Emmett interrupted again. "See it was all going well but then when it was Bella's turn she ended up flashing us all, and,"

"Why weren't you wearing clothes, young lady?"

"Dad, I-"

"No, no, no!" Emmett was getting frantic now. "You've got it all wrong! See, we lost and then Alice and Bella went out shopping. And when they came back Bella had on this skimpy little, leopard print,"

"Bella! Explain yourself this instant!"

"But Charlie you don't understand!" Emmett was now screaming and waving his arms around his head. "There was a fire, and the cookies burned, and there was glass everywhere! I almost died!"

"A fire?!" Charlie's face was beginning to turn purple, something that happened when he was really angry.

"I'm sorry," Emmett bellowed with the frantic hysteria of a mental patient. "I didn't mean to look up Bella's skirt! I shouldn't have laughed when she was being such a bad little kitty cat!" Finally Rosalie slapped a hand over Emmett's mouth, effectively stopping his rant.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," Esme said, pouring on the sweetness. "You see, we were having a little family football game. Alice went a little overboard with the outfits. She bought us football uniforms and a few cheerleader outfits. Rosalie had a different outfit on underneath her cheer clothes. So for her part of the performance she changed clothes. We got Bella to do a little flip which exposed her cheer shorts. We were all wearing a pair. And when the girls won Alice and Bella went out shopping for a new outfit. Bella was wearing a black dress, very cute, and conservative."

Esme took out a camera from one of the pockets in her apron. She walked over to Charlie and showed him a picture of me in the dress. (I don't know when she managed to take it but it was perfect). I was wearing the dress but in the picture it looked like it went to my knees and didn't dip down very low. The only leopard accessory you could see was the belt. Not even Charlie could find something to object to.

"Well after all that we felt bad for the boys so we tried to bake them some cookies. But I'm afraid I haven't baked in so long that I just got in the way. The cookies burned and started a little fire and I accidentally dropped the mixing bowl. Unfortunately Emmett tried to eat one of our cookies, that's why he said he almost died. As for looking up Bella's skirt, when Bella slipped out of her truck just now Emmett accidentally looked up her skirt. I don't know what 'bad little kitty cat' he's talking about."

Charlie thought this over for a moment. "But then why are you dressed like that?

"I'll field that one," Jasper said, stepping forward. I was worried but I figured that if Alice foresaw a disaster she would have stopped him so I tried to relax and act like I knew what was going on. "You see, we were so upset we lost at football that we challenged the girls to a rematch. So this time, we won. And as a little bit of payback we picked the first outfit we found in a costume catalog and the girls had to wear it all day. We happened to land upon the maid's uniform."

Charlie looked like he didn't approve of their decision but he accepted it. "Why are you guys in suits, then?"

"Well we wouldn't be very good gentlemen if we weren't dressed properly when escorting our ladies, would we?" Carlisle said, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off his coat.

"Well Charlie," Alice said, taking Jasper's hand. "We'd love to stay and chat but we have a few things we need to take care of."

"Oh, alright. Good seeing you all." He glared at Edward again before saying, "Bella, you can call me any time. Don't let him force you into anything you don't want to do."

"Now, Charlie, I have raised Edward to be a perfect gentleman," Carlisle objected.

"Yeah," Emmett added, "Why do you think he's been single for the last hundred years?" Rosalie kneed Emmett from behind. Instantly he shut up.

"That's enough mockery from you, Emmett." Rosalie said, grabbing Emmett's ear again. "Sorry, Charlie but he's been mocking Edward all day and its time we did something about it. We'll see you later okay?" And with that Rosalie pulled him out the door.

"We had better keep an eye on them," Alice said. "Goodbye Charlie." Alice and Jasper walked outside and Carlisle and Esme went off to look at cleaning supplies. Edward said a polite goodbye and then carried me over to the medical supplies aisle to buy me a foot brace. On our way we found Esme in her own personal heaven.

An entire wall was filled with different brands, scents and styles of air fresheners. Esme's eyes were twinkling at the millions of possibilities. "Carlisle, get a cart."

"But Esme, darling," Carlisle tried to protest.

"Get. A. Cart. Carlisle." Esme said without turning away from the wall. Carlisle sighed and went off to find a cart.

"A cat," I said, slapping my forehead. "Why didn't we think of that before? We could have avoided a full two-minutes of Charlie-glaring!"

"Oh, I thought of it, but this was more fun," Edward stated, grinning.

I groaned. "Well go get one, now."

"No need, Bella!" Alice went zooming by in a cart propelled by Jasper, quickly followed by Rosalie pushing an empty cart and then Emmett attempting to propel himself with a mop. I was suddenly very thankful this was a large store.

Carlisle showed up a moment later with a cart and promptly swept Esme into his arms. She giggled like a schoolgirl and kissed him. Carlisle was smiling broadly as he set Esme inside the cart. Alice wheeled up beside them, quickly followed by Emmett who was now pushed by Rosalie, who had confiscated his mop. Edward set me inside the empty cart, setting me down carefully to avoid putting pressure on my ankle.

"I suggest we have a race," Alice declared.

Emmett enthusiastically agreed. Carlisle turned to Esme, "What do you say, dear?" Esme nodded happily and Carlisle said, "We're in."

Edward didn't even have to look at me to know I was interested. "Us, too." He simply replied.

Alice grinned broadly, having already expected this and planned accordingly. "Each group has a specific list of items they need to get, and don't worry each list is fair, they don't all have the same items but they're in the same general places. And to be fair we can only move at human speed. First one to reach the register with all the correct items wins!" Jasper handed out lists to Emmett, Esme and me before taking his place at the head of Alice's cart.

"On your mark," Jasper said.

"Get set," Rosalie whispered.

"Go!" I screamed. And suddenly we took off flying out of the aisle only to have Edward swerve down the next one.

"What's on our list?" He asked, breathlessly.

I pointed down the aisle at the bottles of dish detergent. "Right there!" Edward rushed down and grabbed a bottle, throwing it dangerously into the cart.

Down a couple of aisles I heard a crash and Rosalie yell, "Emmett you idiot!"

Edward laughed. "Emmett just knocked over a display of air fresheners." Just then Jasper came hurtling down the aisle and crashed into our cart, sending me flying down the aisle and towards a wall of soap in pointy little boxes. I screamed but lucky didn't crash because Edward came to my rescue as always. After a mild curse sent in Jasper's direction we were off again, sailing through the store, grabbing items off shelves and sneaking in a few attacks. At one point we ran past the cash register and past a very startled looking Mike, who apparently was working there.

"Bella?" He gasped as we raced by. Edward cackled menacingly. And I laughed at Mike's shocked face.

We ended up having to rush from one end of the store to the other three times before we finally had gotten everything on the list. We were racing to get back to the register when we saw Rosalie and Emmett emerge a few aisles away. Edward and Rosalie glared at each other and so did Emmett and I. I armed myself with a broom and covered my chest with a few packages of paper towels. Emmett armed himself with nothing but a mop. With a fierce battle cry we were launched at each other. I thrust my mop out and hit Emmett square in the chest. He went toppling backwards as our carts collided and crashed into Rosalie. That gave us just enough time to sneak in ahead of them and make it to the counter. We practically threw everything on and then I jumped up in our cart, on one foot, and cheered.

"We did it!" I yelled, before promptly falling out the cart and into Edward's waiting arms. Mike just stared at us. "What?" I asked. "Haven't you ever seen a French maid participate in a shopping cart joust?"

Mike just opened and closed his jaw a few times and then decided to start scanning out stuff. Mike finally finished and put our bags back into the cart and we paid him and then left. When we got into the parking lot we discovered Esme and Carlisle sitting on the hood of their car. Carlisle had his arm around Esme's shoulders and he was smiling broadly. In front of them sat a pile of groceries.

"We win," Carlisle stated matter-of-factly.

We groaned. "How did you do that?" I asked.

They shrugged. A moment later Alice and Jasper came wandering out of the store, Alice was already pouting and Jasper had his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Even in her stiletto heels Alice barely reached Jasper's chin. Just after them came a frantic Rosalie and Emmett, both of whom were very disappointed to see they lost the race.

"It's all you fault, Emmett. You shouldn't have kept knocking over all the jars. I told you that everyone was ahead of us. But did you listen to me? Noooooooooooooooo." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Well let's just go home. Who won by the way?"

"We did," Carlisle announced proudly, giving Esme's shoulders a squeeze. "And because we won, we get to decide what the loser's punishment is." Rosalie's and Emmett's jaws dropped.

"You're kidding," Rosalie said. "Please tell me you're kidding!"

Esme, Alice and Edward all shook their heads.

"Rosalie, you're first." Esme tried to look menacing, something that was completely out of place on her heart-shaped and motherly face. "You have to delete all the pictures, and videos that you've taken of Bella this week. Except of course if she would like to keep a single copy for herself."

Rosalie began pouting, crossing her arms over her chest and making a face. Emmett wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek in an effort to comfort her. Thankfully for Emmett, he didn't bother to point out how cute he thought Rosalie looked when she pouted. "Don't worry, baby," he cooed, "Those memories will last forever, even if we don't have the photo proof."

"Don't get too comfortable, Emmett, you're punishment is yet to come."

Emmett's face fell.

"Emmett, for your punishment, Rosalie is no longer allowed to wear her maid's uniform and must change out of it immediately."

Emmett dropped to his knees with an ear-splitting "No!" He sobbed quietly and then thought to start begging. "Please," he said, miserably, "Please, not that! Anything but that!"

"Let me finish," Esme said, sternly. "After she changes out of the maid's uniform-"

"She'll change into a cat-woman uniform?" Emmett asked, hopefully.

"No. Instead you will be wearing the uniform."

Emmett just stared at Esme for a second. "I'm sorry what was the first option?"

"No options, no choices. You will be wearing the maid's uniform and Rosalie will not."

By now Rosalie had also started complaining, no one wanted to see Emmett in a frilly little dress and heels. Especially not Edward and Rosalie. But Esme would not budge. She refused to change her mind or compromise. Eventually they gave in. Rosalie gave me her camera and on the way home I deleted all the pictures . . . well, almost all of them.

I had Edward stop by the little arts and crafts store in town. At first I was going to hide my master plan from him but I was forced to give in, partially because he was the only one who had money and partially because I hated trying to keep secrets from him. While Edward bought some scrapbooks and blank DVDs, I was busy printing out some pictures from Rosalie's camera.

By the time we got home Rosalie had already changed, now she was wearing deep blue jeans, bright pink pumps and a matching pink v-neck sweater. She was grimacing and was waiting on the porch.

"Is Emmett inside," I asked.

"Yup," Rosalie grimaced.

"Has he . . .?"

"Oh yeah," Rosalie said.

I exchanged looks with Edward and then charged into the house, camera first. I was glad I did. Emmett was bent over dusting Edward's piano. I instantly began snapping photos and Emmett was my ever-willing model. I was in hysterics by the time Esme told Emmett to get back to work. I could tell she wasn't happy that Emmett was enjoying his punishment but even she couldn't deny the hilarity of seeing Emmett in a maid's uniform. We didn't get anything done on the surprise that day but when I went to sleep that night, curled up in Edward's arms, just where I love being, I was beyond satisfied and happy.