TELLYKELLY HERE . . . . . . . I'VE RETURNED TO PROMISE TO DO AT THE VERY LEAST TWO CHAPTERS A WEEK. . . . . .

AND IF I FAIL. . .MAY I BE STRUCK DOWN RAPIDLY BY REPETATIVE BEAMS OF DISGRACE BY THE ALMIGHTY YAOI GODZ!. . . NOT REALLY. BUT I'LL TRY :3!

AND TO EAT YOUR BRAINZZZZ! Happy super late Halloween. -_-

DISCLAIMER: HMMM. . . .FANFICTION . . . .FAN. . . .FICTION. . . .I WONDER, DOESN'T THAT MEAN BY DEFAULT THAT NARUTO ISN'T MINE? NO YOU SAY? WELL. . . .OBVIOUSLY NARUTO ISN'T MINE AS THIS IS A FAN FICTION. . IF YOUR JUST LEARNING OF THIS INFORMATION, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR NEAREST PSYCHOLOGIST AS YOUR BRAIN MAY BE SUFFERING FROM CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE OVERDOSE. . .

I I

Naruto our very tired and annoyed pirate rubbed his eyes of his drowsiness. He was sitting at the one table that was still in the middle of the room, in the only chair not put away, eating something a random inmate was holding when he stumbled in the wrong house and tried to attack everyone. Needless to say the man was now laying up against the wall beaten battered and bruised upside down in the trashcan.

The red head said he'd come back down stairs to "take out the trash" but he was going for a good long while. Probably was because he went back to sleep. Naruto wasn't exactly sure what he was eating. But it was meaty had buns and lettuce. It tasted alright. Not enough to share though.

As the blonde decided that he'd had enough of this weird meal he looked around he saw nothing of interest. A small unhooked TV sat up against the wall. Doors were closed and nothing was happening. Looking back down at his food he let out a sigh. He was never one to sit around and wait for something to happen. And to think. . . .The door is right there. He looked up at the door and back down at the food again.

"Fuck this." He swore flipping over the table and rushing to the door. As far as he was concerned the reason he taunted the Uchiha to come here was merely to find a way out of this dump. And he had time. It had to only be about 9 O' clock.

As he kicked open the door to the outside world he saw nothing but heard the occasional sound of someone somewhere getting assaulted. A few screams . . . loud noises here and there but nothing in his immediate sight.

"Nice." He commented boringly. "This place was only fun at night." But he should have known better than that. In a prison filled with the most notorious of the Uchihas prisoners. Things were bound to pick up. He took a long walk around the block. He made sure to use only the dark alleys and use the secluded passageways hoping to find something to do. He was thinking about how to get out of the prison he called home. Finally he stepped out of the darkness of the building alleys and took a long look around. He saw an interesting building with big broken letters that now spelt "ass."

As loud noises were common in this place. As was chaos. Which was right around the corner. . . Literally. A beat up black jeep came from around a building not very far away, swerving and charging recklessly through the street and soon after it a bigger ragged abomination of a scraped together van curved sloppily around the corner and followed just as poorly. The jeep, as it was poorly navigating its way through the streets curved to abruptly and wiped out right in front of Naruto's house. Flames soon overtook it and a loud fiery explosion consumed it soon after. Naruto felt weird as he was simply staring at it. He was sure thee passenger was dead and scorched beyond recognition. The rag-tag van stopped at the carnage and several armed thugs rushed out and circled the burning car.

He heard a lot of laughter and swearing. They generally looked happy that this guy was dead, but none the less a few were sent over by the biggest looking guy and they started using their weapons to break off beat up parts and move things away.

Naruto thought it was to help so he started to walk over but to his surprise the car spontaneously launched upwards and from the ground-planted fire he saw a confusing sight. The people that just got out of the car wasted no time to think about what was going on and opened fire on the flame engulfed silhouette.

"Holy shit!" Naruto shouted backing up quickly and tripped up falling to his back. He looked up to see the quick black shadow dashing through the wave of men and demolishing their ranks.

In the spray of gun fire one of the inmates was tossed over the van and landed in front of Naruto lifelessly.

Soon the psycho's regained their senses and rushed away from the monstrous man to run to their van. But so did the dark man and in a spiraling rush of wind he sent the massive vehicle and all the intended occupants flying through the air and all the way across the street. Finally the fire was extinguished (violently by the harsh wind) and the man responsible was easily visible.

"What?" Naruto thought aloud, as he rose to his feet. The man looked over. He didn't look as ominous as before. Not as big either. In fact he looked just like. . .

PREVIOUSLY. . . . . .

Itachi had been pacing around his large white and blue office thinking heavily on a subject he didn't think would ever matter again for about twenty minutes, as he awaited his brother's entry. His large wall-like window gave a considerable amount of light from the morning sun and helped him think. Unfortunately it didn't provide him with a solution to the obvious problem he was having. Whenever this Uchiha put a thought away that meant that it was of no importance. Ever again.

But this time. . .

"I've been so blind. I've actually made a mistake. . ." He said to himself.

"What do you want itachi?!" shouted a loud aggravated raven that barged through the massive dual doors. The huge doors made a loud bang as they came to a stop hitting the wall.

Itachi stopped his pacing as he watched the raven speed walk over to his desk slamming his hands down on the table. His eyes were red with fury. Not enough to even slightly move his older brother but simply enough to show his emotional preference at the moment.

"Sasuke." He started. "I need you to listen to me. Don't ask me why just listen." He strolled over to his desk chair and took a seat. After crossing one leg over the other he looked up at his Brother with the same red eyes that glared at him.

"We have to get them out."

"Who?!" Sasuke angrily asked tilting his head. "Naruto. He must leave the prison immediately." Itachi's voice hinted a sense of irritation. "Gaara must leave as well."

Sasuke looked confused as hell. What the hell was this guy talking about? Not that he didn't want his best slave out of his paradise and back in his warm lusty embrace but this sudden desire, from his older always emotionally controlled brother, to take out the prisoners he willingly released was just strange to him.

"Wh-. . . fine. I guess." Sasuke retreated calming down. He peered into his Brother's eyes looking for the invisible explanation. "How soon do we need to . . . how soon can we do this?" Sasuke asked.

"Before the prison we've built is no more." Was his brother's emotionless response.

BACK UP TO SPEED

Naruto looked his counterpart in the eyes. The boy in front of him mimicked his actions. The boy was Naruto's height, Naruto's sexy fitness, Naruto's . . . face. But black slightly longer hair and red eyes. Although all Naruto had on was some blue jeans and some orange shoes, this guy had on a very short black leather jacket with a fur collar without a shirt and black jeans with tattered beaten boots

He rose a hand. So did the mirrors image. He blinked. As did the boy. Although the one thing Naruto didn't do that the boy did do was scowl. His expression was as uninviting as the red eyes he wore.

"What the hell. . ." They both said together. "I. . ."

The dark haired boy licked his lips as he scowled at his own counterpart and watched Naruto do the same. Naruto studied him. He had the same whisker marks. It was like looking into a mirror.

"Who the fuck are you?" the boy hastily spat seeming nervous. Naruto was aggravated by that. Who the hell was this guy talking to?! He was Naruto-fucken-pirate-commando-captain . . . or something. He hadn't exactly worked out the name yet but he was sure he'd put it together soon.

"I'm asking the questions here bitch!" Naruto roared back "Who the fuck are you?!"

The black haired now furious bastard tackled Naruto to the floor and held an open hand and pushed down on Naruto's peck with his other hand.

"Come on bitch lets see what you look like on the inside!" he deviously chuckled as a dark purple orb twirled in his raised hand. As he brought his hand down quickly Naruto grabbed his wrist and pushed into the floor next to his head. A loud explosion of wind launched them both up and over the burnt jeep onto the other side. This time in reverse. Now Naruto was on top.

In the rush of momentum his face slammed into the boy's and their lips unintentionally slid together. Both their eyes widened quickly and the rude boy pushed away from Naruto at the same time the Blonde did. Their hands clasped perfectly and all they did was interlock fingers. Still in fight mode, the two tried shuffling off each other but it was like those awkward moments when you are about to run into someone in a hall way and you're both confusing one another trying to move the same way at the same time.

But the kiss? To the boys it was like touching yourself. With all the pleasurable sensation. They unwillingly melted into it. Roughly shifting for the best angle . . . Naruto moved so the boy's leg could slide between his own. The gasps for air was the only thing forcing them to think about what they were doing but the sensation was again too much to fight. They got hotter and rougher. Soon Naruto was ruffling his fingers through the boy's hair and the black haired deviant was feeling up the blonde's ass.

"Freeze!" Came a voice from above. The audible *click* of a gun was heard over head and both occupied boys looked up to see one of the inmates holding a gun to them. Naruto released the boy's smooth black locks and grabbed the furry collar of his jacket.

Both boys looked at each other awkwardly after thinking about what just transpired. Naruto laughed uneasily before dropping his head in the boy's shirtless pecks out of self-shame while the guy himself scratched the back of his head.

"Alright Menma!" he announced, "Get off your ass, and follow me." The man ordered uneasily and his legs were shaking. It wasn't a situation one could say he was sure he wanted to be in.

"Menma?" the blonde interrupted, "What a relief. I thought your name was going to be Naruto."

"I said up!" the armed man yelled with an obvious crack in his voice.

"Fuck off!" Menma screamed back conjuring another ball of dark aura and slamming it into the floor beneath the man . . . wasn't the best idea though because all it did was send them flying across the street again.

The man flew straight into the fire though and as if the universe hated him like Naruto hated vegies the jeep was once again consumed in another fiery explosion. The blonde screamed in the air as he soared over a large distance

Naruto felt the harsh impact of the sidewalk while Menma landed at least ten feet away. As they slowly rose up more tattered and rag-tag caravans slid to a stop near the van that Menma destroyed. It was far away from them but still visible.

Naruto saw that Menma was hurt and that he was getting up a little too slowly. He stood on his own beaten two feet and slowly ran over to help. But the moment he touched his shoulder, the dark bastard, in a vary of unbelievably quick movements, pulled out a knife and grabbed Naruto holding him close and placing the knife to his neck.

"Don't move!" he ordered.

Naruto's expression portrayed that of Sasuke when he caught him inside of Itachi's room. His back pressed up against the black haired teen's chest and he squirmed to get free while holding his oppressor's arm. He looked back to see Menma's usually angry and hostile face in an awkward twitch.

"S-stop moving!" he ordered again. Naruto oblivious to the fact that he was rubbing up against the bastards less . . . noble areas kept at it as the men that left the vans rushed over to them.

"H-hey! I have one of your guys right here! Don't move or I'll k-kill h-him . . . dammit stop fucking moving!" Menma yelled into Naruto's ear.

"Naruto continued to Shift until he felt something pointed and large poke him from behind. "Why the hell would I listen to-You're not wearing underwear are you?" he asked knowing why the boy had been so angry.

The men stop within five feet of them. Obviously the morons believed him. "Put'em down!" one ordered. "What the hell does Gato want with this asshole anyways?" Another piped in.

"When I say now I want you to drop down." The dark boy whispered into Naruto's ear.

"Why?" Naruto asked pointlessly trying to irritate the boy in revenge of getting used. The boy didn't answer but waited till more of the armed guys came over and after a minute's worth of a stare down he whispered now and Naruto dropped to the floor.

He then, just as another van pulled up and the occupants got out, created a large purple orb with wind spiraling about it and through it into the larger crowd of men. The explosion sent them all flying and a large gust of wind at Naruto and Menma.

"Get off your ass!" Menma yelled rushing up to the empty vehicle. Naruto's brows furred but he rushed up anyway. He wanted excitement. Now he got it.

"Ah shit! He's with him!" one of the guys on the floor yelled before pointing his gun at them and opening fire. The dark teen didn't wait for Naruto to get situated after he sat down and stepped on the gas. Naruto held onto anything that looked stable with one hand and onto his chair with the other.

He felt the adrenaline rush overtake him as the loud sound of bullets hitting the back of the armored van filled his ears and the thrill of escape filled him with excitement. He looked over at Menma to see the same (slightly demonic) expression plastered in his face.

MEANWHILE FUCKIN . . . TRANSITIONS. . . .

"Gaara. . . hey Gaara get up I need you for something."

Gaara was not a sleep-a-holic but it had been a long night. Naruto can go on forever he thought shifting his head in the pillows. "Fucking. . .what do you want Kono. . .fuckin-hamaru?"

"Naruto said to wake you up at ten o' clock. Something about screwing with you." The young boy said.

"Get lost."

"He said you'd say that." Konohamaru said lifting up something heavy from his side of the bed. It was a big heavy metal bat with the words screw you Gaara written on it in red marker.

"Well . . . you give me no choice."

From outside a loud ~ding~! was heard, as well as a follow up "mother fucker!"

Gaara grabbed his young friend by the neck and brought him close. You better have a damn good reason for doing that!" he warned rubbing his head

Konohamaru blushed a bright red after looked down at Gaara's large package. "Konohamaru. Why are you naked?" the red head inquired awkwardly looking down as well.

"Me and Udon . . . we're watching that TV you guys had unplugged and well. Let's just say you have more than basic cable.

Gaara stared at him biting his tongue. "Right . . . anyway Naruto told you to do this eh?" Gaara asked. He rubbed his red tattoo above his eye and dropped his soon to be victim to the floor.

"Why are you two doing it?!" the red head asked finding something thrown about to wear. He found a red shirt and slipped it on and looked about for some pants. "Wait. . .Where were you doing it?" the red head froze thinking about the two sixteen year olds going to work on the floor in front of the kitchen.

"I probably shouldn't drop anything on the floor there."

He finally found his discarded pants and put them on. Konohamaru just sat there and watched. It was like a reversal strip tease.

"Where is that asshole?" Gaara asked running his hand through his hair, ruffling his red locks. "He left." Said the black haired teen. He flashed back to when he was watching porn on the TV screen with Udon and heard a loud crash from downstairs he came down to see a lopsided table and food all over the floor. He saw Naruto from the crack in the door just standing there. He was going to see what was going on but he thought back to the TV and well . . . he prioritized.

Leaving his flash back he looked back up at Gaara who was staring at him, eyebrows razed in that mellow passive eyed stare awaiting an answer.

"Yeah, he left." Konohamaru said assuring his friend there was no trace of the Uzumaki. Gaara huffed pinching the bridge of his nose. He knelt down and grabbed Konohamaru by his shoulders lifting him up to his feet. "I have to find Naruto." He said dropping his arms from the boy's shoulders and placing his hands in his pockets. If he comes back tell'em I'm out look'n for him.

ALL THE FUCKIN WHILE . . . THAT MEANS MEANWHILE. . . BUT YOU KNOW THAT

Naruto and Menma had crossed enough people in one day. They killed a few too. Not on purpose though. The red eyed teen wasn't the best driver. That or he just really liked the sound it made when he'd hit an inmate with the van. Naruto however wasn't as easily amused he found guns in the back of the armored vehicle and after kicking open the side doors he let-a-rip on the pursuing caravans.

Menma was a bit put off by the sudden trigger happy insanity of Naruto but strangely it turned him on. There was that damn boner again. "Annoying as ever" The dark teen thought. After making a Sharp turn causing the blonde, who was holding on to the door for stability, to fly to the other side of the van, he reached on hand down to stop his sudden urges.

"Can you fuckin drive straight?!" Naruto snarled. He had been flying across the car for the last ten minutes and was getting a little tired of it.

Menma turned around fiercely "You think you can do better?!" he shot back releasing the wheel.

Naruto in panic of the reckless teen's actions he folded to compliance. "No! No! No! You're perfect just grab the wheel!" he cried. Menma nodded smiling maliciously and turned his attention back to the rode only to see they were two car lengths from a head-on collision with another one of the vans. He let out a loud yell as he yanked on the wheel and moved the car sideways. Both the boys backed out after the crash that soon came after.

Naruto could hear noises but see nothing. All was dark and sightless. But after a long sleep that changed. His vision cleared.

The darkness faded slowly revealing a white marble floor. The side of his head hurt but the pain quickly faded. He shook his head of all the loud sounds he was hearing in his head and shot his head up.

He saw big black bars in front of him and pass those he saw a nice fancily designed marble wall. Where was he? The sound of angry profane words came from behind. Menma. He thought.

Turning around he saw a big leg chain and further to the wall he spotted Menma with his arms chained to the wall. He didn't seem happy about it. Far above them was a brightly shining light. There was a few of them. Going from over their cell to far in front and around the corner.

"Where are we?" the blonde asked now angry that he was in this mess. Menma looked over and smirked for a second before changing his expression to anger. "You're a lousy shot! Thanks for getting us locked up in here! Fuckin idiot." he yelled in response.

Naruto rose to his feet and walked over. Menma started to think his actions over. Talking tough when chained up . . . Not very smart.

"Hey, what are yah gunna do huh?" he said watching as Naruto smirked and closed distance with him. "heh-hey! Back up before I-"

Naruto shut him up by sticking his hand down his counterpart's pants and feeling him up. "Yeah I went commando today too." Naruto mocked. The dark teen snarled and reached up with his leg to kick him but Naruto just slid closer. "Before you what?" he asked wrapping his hand around Menma's tensing hard-on.

"Can't fight. . .the" Menma got angry. He got really angry. And for obvious reasons he was about to show it. He brought his legs down and used them to push Naruto back by his legs and then when he had enough space brought them both up and kicked Naruto in his chest as hard as he could to push him to the ground.

"Don't touch me!" he demanded. Naruto smirked as he got up but for the life of him Menma couldn't fathom why. Then he looked down. "Nice pants." Naruto said smiling as he held his cell mates pants in his hand mockingly waving them around.

"You fuckin-"

"Look, Stop calling me that. My name is Naruto get it straight." The blonde ordered. Throwing the pants at the chained up boy's face.

As they slid down and plopped on the floor he looked up and sighed heavily. "OK. . . Naruto." He bared down on his teeth. "Can you get my pants?"

Naruto looked away as if not interested in the conversation. "Can I get your pants what?"

Menma's eyes blazed into fire. "Can you get my fucking pants . . . PLEASE. . .before someone comes around the corner and accuses you of felatio"

Naruto smirked and walked over "I've been accused of worse." He said.

"Like?" Menma said in a combination of tilting his head, snarling and raising an eyebrow. Naruto picked up the pants and made close eye contact with his counterpart.

He thought he was kidding. Naruto was known all over the Galaxy, he had to know how. Naruto actually looked confused this time. "You don't watch a lot of news do you?"

"I I've never been outside this prison. What the hell do you thiiinkk-hey! Hey! Gently!" Menma cried.

Now Naruto was completely lost. This didn't make any sense. What did this kid grow up in prison? What a shitty lifestyle. Someone needs to give this guy one of the Uchiha time magazines with one of those smiling happy people that apparently matter.

"You've never left this prison before? Like you've never been outside-?"

"This massive shit hole yes!" Menma finished. "So what?!" Naruto felt a little bad just from hearing that.

"Damn . . . ever had a steak before?" He asked.

"No."

"Cheese cake?"

"No."

"Pillaged a city with only a team of four?"

"No. . .Wait you have?!"

"Seen a city?"

"No."

"Been to an eating contest?

"Once."

"Any cake in general?"

"No."

"Oreos?"

"No."

"Had a foursome in a hotel room with people you just met about twenty minutes ago?

"What?"

"Never mind. In the meantime when we get out of here I need to show you what your missing." The Uzumaki said giving a small smile and looking away after hearing a sound from behind.

"Hello my friends!" Said the huge burly brute that looked like he made it hell and broke out by beating up the devil. He had a funny big beard that must've hid weapons.

"I am Sergei and I'm here to make your lives living hell." His voice was obviously foreign, and gave the immediate feeling as if he really was going to do just that.

Menma snarled at him and Naruto rose his eyebrows in surprise and backed into his companion. The dark teen looked down at Naruto and rolled his eyes. "Get off" He said. "I'll handle this"

"Before I break you're bones I am to give you to the boss. Prey he has use for you." Came the strong Russian accent again. The man came over and unlocked the cage and in a very quick couple actions unlocked the blondes chains and the black haired demon's and soon had them both over each shoulder as he proceeded to make his way out and down the long hallways.

Naruto propped his face up with one hand and with the other flicked off Menma who angrily swore in response.

"I'll handle this huh?" was the blonde's only words. Menma angrily stared at Naruto's emotionless face hoping that by some string of luck the boy would look over and be scorned. Nope

Naruto was looking at the passing marble floor's reflection of him with that bored look on his face.

After a long moment of walking the giant man stopped and dropped them both in front of a big purple luxurious couch with a short tubby man a several female occupants.

"Boss. I have brought you the peasants." The burly man said and with a wave of the hand he was gone.

Menma growled as he and Naruto looked up at the man that had summoned him. he was sitting comfortably smoking big cigar. His eyes were hidden by shades and his professional look was unsettling and went with the fact that they were no longer in a trash hole of a city but a palace of a building.

"Gato." Menma barked

"Alright kid. This is gunna sound strange . . . I need your help"

I I

HAHAHAAAAAA! I'VE DONE IT! ANOTHAH CHAPTAH! I WIN! I'M DECIDING TO PUT MORE CHAPTERS IN. I'M GETTING SICK OF MY LAZINESS. SO EVERY TIME YOU SEE THAT I'M NOT PUTTING AT LEAST TWO CHAPTERS A WEEK FEEL FREE TO KICK MY ASS!

OH WHO AM I KIDDING YOU COULDN'T HURT SUCH INNOCENCE COULD YOU? GO BUY A BOX OF COOKIES! AND SHARE THEM! WHATS THAT YOU SAY? NO? YOU WONT SHARE? WELL THEN. . .GO TO HELL.