Disclaimer *I do not own Ouran host club If I Did Hikaru or Kaoru or even Mori might have won the girl.

Does the hero of the story always have to be the goofy blonde?

Chapter 9 There really is no choice.


Kotoko POV

If I was in the mood for a drink, this would be the place to be .Lately the need for a good stiff drink to let your mind just relax and forget….was extremely appealing. Everything that occurred in the last 24 hours…. the fighting, the tears, the laughs they were nothing compared to the next couple of hours. The next couple of hours were going to be excruciating. I was going to cut off my oxygen supply ….

.

'No, I'm not going to end my life that would just be…..too easy. No, I'm going to cut off my life source ….my oxygen. The man that brings my heart to almost jump out of my chest. When I'm not with him I feel like I'm drowning, I just can't keep my lungs filled …unless I remind myself over and over to breathe. It's a shallow breath…There's a heavy weight on my chest that keeps me from taking a full breath. Yes, I could say it feels like a really bad cold but no, I think that's too tame of a description. But drowning…. fits.

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Unconsciously your body tries to intake a breath but instead of air… liquid enters burning and stretching your lungs. Your nose starts to sting. Your stomach wants to vomit .You try to take another breath but at the same time this occurs your lungs are trying to extract the dense water from your lungs. Another burst of water hits the outgoing water violently .Your ever expanding lungs feel the burn like acid instead of the regular H2o and you just sink further and further.

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From what I've heard …This establishment I just entered was popular. Where people came to hook up with water downed drinks that cost four times the average drink. The bar was known for its gorgeous bartenders that look as though they were related to Greek gods. The bartenders concocted wild cocktails by juggling the bottles of liquid with each other. Often throwing a bottle in the air to loud music, twisting before catching it.

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In the center of the hot spot stood a large Square almost stage like elevated mirrored bar. The surface of the bar would light up with slow rotating color. When the bar was lit and the rest of the clubs lights dimmed it looked like a color changing wave, in the center of the mirrored platform perched hundreds of back lit colorful bottles of spirits. The bartenders were more like performers on a brightly lit stage surrounded by a party…..But now the magic had disappeared there were employees stocking in the shelves and cleaning floors in the brightly lit warehouse like room.

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"Hey Gorgeous, sorry were not open to the public come back at 7 o'clock, although if you do come back I'll give you your own personal, private tour."

I quickly turned my head to see a dark haired man with steel blue eyes. He was standing at the bar, stacking glasses staring at me with a lecherous gaze, Up and down and finally back up to my face. My skin crawled with the man's leering presence .

Ignoring his comment and the leering, I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, could you please tell me where I might find Fujioka –san?"

The dark haired man almost appeared to have a disappointed look on his face. His vision once more sliding ever so painfully slow down my body, shakes his head "It Figures…. Ah, sure thing doll. He's in the back I'll get him."

Stiffing my shoulders before nodding. "Thank you."

The man turns on his heel and disappears behind a well hidden mirrored door.

The next thing I hear is the steel blue eyed man yelling behind the door "Ranka, there's a hot babe out here looking for you."

An irritated voice yells from behind the door. "Akito! How many times do I have to tell you…? I'm not interested, just send her away."

"Ok, well can I have her? If you don't want her…. I'd definitely like to take a bite out of that… She has the biggest brown eyes and a body to ….."

Next thing I hear is a clanging of several glass bottles hitting the floor, the mirrored door swings open with a forcible push. Out pops Ranka with a goofy grin and stunningly thick ginger hair.

"….Oh sweetie, why are you here? Akito, that will be all, I can handle it from here. "

Just then…. I was able to do something I haven't done in two days …. Taking a deep breath.

There's my Ranka …..my sweet, silly, wonderful Ranka, I tried to slow down my speeding heart…..because I'm afraid of what I'm preparing to do I'll be lucky if my heart doesn't shatter. I stiffen my shoulders attempting to be strong. "I' m sorry to bother you at work I need to talk to you if you have the time…" my sadness slips into my eyes.

The ginger headed man must have noticed the slight slip because just for a minute his smile shrinks and I can see the concern in his eyes. "Akito take over. I'll be back later. "He speaks in a firm tone.

The man named Akito looked a little confused as he pointed his thumb behind him. "Wait, didn't you say ..."

"Yes I did, she is the only exception…..to everything" His amazing brown eyes sparkle down on me as he addresses his coworker but keeps his eyes glued to me.

The man with ginger tousled hair and beautiful golden brown eyes grabbed my hand and squeezed it slightly before pulling me out the door. I squeezed back with my head looking down at my feet. "Where are we going?"

"Just around the corner to a local café …so we can talk." The last word sounded pained as he knew something was wrong,

We arrived at a small café almost a hole in the wall really. He purchased some coffees before balancing the coffees on a tray in with one hand while guiding me with his other hand placed on the small of my back to a far off booth.

"So what was so important to bring you all the way across town in such a perilous neighborhood alone." Ranka asks while raising an eyebrow.

I just need to let him go. He's too good for my world.' Taking a slow drawn out sip of my coffee to compose my thoughts I withdraw the cup from my lips to carefully place the bowl like coffee cup on the table in front of me, Feeing awkwardly nervous my body shifts in my chair.

"That bad? He stares over with liquid eyes encased by a concerned face.

"What do you mean?" Her chocolate eyes enlighten her confused face.

"Your shifting in your chair and your biting your lip .The only time I've noticed you shift in your seat like that is when you're trying to compose your words, with something difficult to say ….You did it every time I asked you out as more them friends. That little nervous habit gave me a clue when you were finally going to agree. In fact, I'm pretty sure I knew before you even did."

With his words I suddenly notices that my top teeth were pressing against my lower lip. I hadn't even realized I was biting my lip as I pull my lip in …"And biting my lip?"

"You unconsciously bite your lip for two reasons…One when you don't want to hurt a person's feelings."

"And two... How do you know it's not the other thing?

He leans in with a playful smirk on his lips reaching a hand to pinch my chin in his thumb ,finger staring deep into my eyes with his them burning toward me and wasn't because he was angry … "I haven't really kissed you yet….so it's not that."

Being a bit embarrassed with his observation I pull my face away from his affectionate touch and clear my throat.

He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. "So spill."

Trying to swallow as I stiffen my shoulders and my resolve. "…Ranka this will be the last time I can see you." 'When I said those words my body stopped functioning or at least that's how it felt like.'

Ranka's face fell staring down at his coffee cup rubbing the cup with both hands. He sighs heavily. "May, I ask why?"

"As of two hours ago….I agreed to be engaged to another man …..The wedding is in two months."

Ranka flinched at my words, He wouldn't tear his eyes from his cup. Seeing his reaction, my heart started to crack.

"Kotoko-chan have I done something wrong…I just spoke to you two days ago."

Cautiously I tried to place a gentle hand over Ranka's but he flinched "…No, you didn't do anything wrong …..You're wonderful." Tears were threating to fall but I held them back '…I didn't deserve to cry.'

"You know I come from a whole different world."

"Yeah, how can I forget…?" Ranka mumbles with his eyes glued to his uninteresting coffee cup.

My eyes tried to catch his but he never looked up from his coffee, I softly spoke to explain to him "My world …the children are moved around like chest pieces, we are the energy source for our massive families' companies. They consume us for power, money…. We are bread for this …as little kids we learn that we never get to choose for ourselves. …and we grow up not concerned of any alternative. We see our parents ,grandparents, brothers ,sisters all sent to benefit our family .The reason you're in pain right now …is because of me .I was so blind, I thought I was different I caused your pain because I thought …I was different than any person in my world…. I was so…so wrong. It was all going on around me …all of it… most of my life. The last of my words were spoken in complete disgust …not for my father or my predicament but for me.

"What happened? "Asking with concern in his voice and his eyes pointed at the coffee cup with his shoulders fallen in a deep depression.

"Last night after work I was called to my families' estate and my father informed me that I'm bond by my family to marry one of my best friends from High school." I answered in a depressed tone.

"Does he love you?" Ranka pushes his words out in almost a pained whisper.

Extending a hand to rest it on his shoulder for comfort as my chocolate eyes melt into sadness at my love. "Don't do this… "

"Does…He….Love...You?" raising his voice snapping his head up .His liquid golden brown eyes were seeped in deep emotion.

Letting my comforting hand drop I nod before turning away from those eyes that were stopping my heart ….he was in pain. "Yes apparently he has loved and protected me for years."

"Protected you?" Stunned by my words he pushes up against the back of his seat.

Shifting in my seat I begin to explain, "Let's just say that today, I was told that he ran interference against my father in ….the shadows. I don't really want to go in to it. Let's just say I'm immensely grateful and my gratitude will never be settled."

After my heart felt words were spoken about my friend's deeds. The weirdest thing happened Ranka had a slight smile on his face before he went back at staring at his coffee cup once more.

"…..Do you love him? "Muttered towards his unappealing cup of coffee.

"Do you love him?" He raised his voice a little too somewhat demand his answer.

"I once thought ….that I did love him ….years ago but he's just a really good friend." As my eyes fell upon my own cup of dissolved cream spilling from my cup,

"So you're doing this because you owe him?"

"No, I would never have agreed if it was just because I owe him …it came with an ultimatum…. I agree or I lose everything."

"You're doing this for money." Ranka voice sounds bitterly angry. I wouldn't blame him but I shook my head.

"If it was just money I'd turn them down without blinking ….I'll lose my friends, my family, my best friend… I would do this just because he is a very dear friend and I had no idea how strong he felt but…..not doing this would destroy him."

"I see… so you're leaving …. What about destroying me did you ever think of that?"

"Ranka, the thought of never seeing you again, seeing you right now… how I'm hurting you …I love you …my heart is shattering…But I'm doing this for you. My world would crush you…. You deserve someone in your own world." Grabbing both of his hands across the table

Tears fell from my eyes but I soon whipped them away and stiffened my back. This is my fault .you don't get to cry you're the one causing the pain.

"For me? " Stunned Ranka sat there just staring at his lukewarm coffee for what seemed like years just sitting there.

I waited for him to say something…anything. He must be so mad at me that he can't even look at me, I should just leave. I'm only hurting him by staying …..I need to leave him be. I swiftly moved from my seat… when Ranka shot out a hand and closed it around my wrist firmly.

He stiffened his shoulders and his head popped up with those golden brown molten eyes. "…..Well, we never talked about marriage and the future but …choose me."

"What!? We can't "Stunned I try to pull my arm away.

Way to go Kotoko two proposals in one day ….you think you've broken enough hearts today? I think if you wait …the guy in the back washing dishes...wants a shot. Inwardly rolling my eyes while thinking sarcastically to myself.

"Why not …I love you …" His emotion eyes burn deep into my body down to my rapidly beating chest.

Releasing a heavy sigh I shake my head. "I can't do that to you …My father would not only disown me…but once he knew about "you " he would come after you…Just to teach me a lesson ." Trying to pull my hand away from his desperate iron grip.

"So what… I can handle it as long ….as your by my side and always by my side." With his words I stopped tugging and froze to raise my free hand to his most beautiful lips.

Clearing my throat and speaking firmly "I don't have a choice and even if I did …. My world would crush your spirit it would suffocate you …..I fell in love with your spirit…. its kind, funny, loving and it would kill me if anything happened to it. I'm sorry …you deserve someone else….someone better ..." Those words I had just spoken were weighting my chest down undeniably .I couldn't breathe… I was trying …but my lungs would not function they were burning as if my words were violently ripped from my chest along with my lungs"

"Unless you leave your world and join mine…I can tell you… I will never love another woman so you are wasting your time saving me for someone else ….there will never be another woman."

"Do you know what you're asking of me? My family and friends would turn their backs. I would become an outcast …I would only have literally the clothes on my back….My job …..And possibly the money from my account and that's only if I get to it before my father does."

"Kotoko, if you're worried about your love ones turning their backs …then perhaps they were never intended to be love ones. I know you're the only woman for me I can't breathe unless your around…I know this sounds off the wall but I feel my body shutting down when you're not around ….My life isn't worth living if you don't decide to be with me I know my heart will stop pumping it will just shrivel to nothing ….. I will never love anyone on this world like I love you …and I know you love me… we may not have much but we will have each other I'm asking you to do it for us."

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His words shook me to the core …The only reason I could endure being separated from him was because I was sacrificing my happiness for his….His words were screaming in my thoughts that my sacrifice would be for nothing… we would both be drowning. I know my brother won't have a choice, my father will make him turn his back. Yuzura …my stomach turns for my poor dear friend most likely he will hate me….and I will deserve it .Yuzu would never turn her back on me…maybe in time I could explain it toher .She could be the one person that travels in my lifeboat to my other life ….No I would be more trouble to the Hitachiins ….my father would make sure of that.

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Brother, Yuzuha, Yuzura …I love you but it's a choice to breathe or not to breathe there's simply no choice…. Please, I would never ask for your forgiveness for the pain I'm about to thrust upon you… Instead I pray for you to forget about….me…and with that she turned and left her world. She left it all behind for the only man for her life.

…..She nodded her head to the elated Ranka ….and for the first time in quite a long while she was able to take a deep breth by his side …she has found her puzzle piece.


This one was really hard to write.

So I'm kind of flying bling any thoughts?