I woke up the next morning wrapped up in blankets on Hiei's bed, hugging one of his pillows. My eyes burned from all the tear shed during my writing for Hiei's letter. I didn't want to move. I didn't want them to know where I was. I wanted to hide and only be found by him. Why does life have to suck so hard?

Knock Knock Knock

"Sakura…" I heard Koenma's hesitant voice through the door.

"I know you're up, we have a few hours before we have to leave for the air port." I heard him walk away.

"Only a few hours…" I huffed. "Not enough." I got up feeling so weighed down like lead weights were melted to my limbs and back. I fixed the bed, placed Hiei's shirt on his bed with the letter.

Then I left for my room.

I opened my door only to find all my stuff already packed. At first I thought to be mad, but I realized it would help me have more time to spend with everyone else before leaving. I smirked, then got ready.

Before I left the room I looked at my mirror one last time as I put on my snow flake pendant.

Oh, how I'm going to miss it here...

Soaking up every visual detail of my room. It melted into my heart. Brushing everything with my fingers as I grabbed my suitcase and rolled it out the door with myself. I smiled looking into the room, remembering it as I first came in. My eyes swelled with tears from the memory. Drugged with the Bitter Truth tea, and Yukina asking me about her brother. I sniffed in holding back the tears as I forced myself to shut the door.

Crack

I felt a piece of my heart break as the handle clicked.

I carried my case down the stairs until Kurama approached me.

"Oh Sakura, that must be heavy. Let me help you." He met me half way and took it from my hands.

"Thank you Kurama." I smiled. My voice was so soft. I was actually surprised to hear myself speak so gently.

"Let's get through breakfast together, shall we?" He gently smiled at me and lead me to the dinning room. He went on to drop my bag by the door. I stepped in the room and was greeted by everyone from last night at the table.

"I called Keiko, she was in tears that she couldn't make it." Botan started. I put my hand on her shoulder as I sat down next to her.

"She has more important stuff to worry about. Tell her I'll miss her, for me?" I smiled to Botan. She nodded with watery eyes.

"Now ladies, let's enjoy breakfast with minimal tears." Koenma sighed. I knew he already felt bad.

"Thank you Koenma, for packing my things for me." I nodded to him, since I figured that's how he knew I wasn't in my room.

"It is the least I could do." He replied. Then we quietly, yet normally, enjoyed our breakfast with each other.

After breakfast, Botan took me by the hand and lead me to the dojo and explained to me that everyone had something to say to me before I was to leave with Koenma. I was hoping this wasn't going to happen, but at the same time, it warmed my heart to know I was so loved. She handed me a box of tissues.

"I'm definitely going to need these." I forced a chuckle.

"Good thing we haven't done our makeup today huh?" She chuckled at me. I nodded and paused looking at her seeing she was going to start. We took a deep breath together and she tearfully started telling me everything she felt.

"Oh wow…" I breathed with a tissue at my eyes just as Botan finished.

"I'm sorry! I'm just going to miss you so much!" Her voice cracked as she reached for some tissues. We gave each other a firm embrace and she left to get someone else.

This continued with each heart felt story all the way till Kurama came in. He was the last one. I stood up from sitting on the floor to reserve what energy I had. Crying takes a lot out of you.

"Hey…" He smirked solemnly to me. He slowly walked up to me.

"Alrighty." My voice was becoming raspy. "Let me have it."

He placed his hands on my shoulders and stared at me in the eyes softly. I paused with confusion for a moment. His smirk turned into a very gentle smile.

"You will be deeply missed." He spoke with softness and regret as he pulled me in and kissed me gently on my forehead, just before wrapping his arms around me for a warm embrace. He didn't say another word to me and the silence was everything I needed before finally leaving. I buried my face into his chest not wanting to burst into any more tears. He pulled away just as Koenma knocked on the door before sliding it open.

"It's time."

I looked at Kurama to hand him back the box of tissues.

"Are you sure?" He asked me.

"I've already shoved a bunch in my pockets." I admitted. He chuckled and took the box.

I walked out with Koenma, and my suitcase. Everyone followed just until the gate. Koenma allowed me to have my final words before having to leave.

I stopped and turned to face them.

My heart began to ache.

"You all have changed my life. In ways you may never know. Naturally I can say that you will never be forgotten in my life. But I don't think you understand just how true that will be. I owe you all my life, because you have saved me. Not a day will go by that I don't think of every single one of you." I took a teary deep breath.

"All of this is so cliché, but true! I can't continue because I'll just start balling like a baby." I pulled a tissue from my pocket.

"Could you tell Yusuke for me that everything he's ever done, said, even smart ass, I'll cherish?" I looked at Kuwabara and Botan mostly.

"Of course Sakura!" Botan squealed with tears flowing.

"What about Hiei?" Yukina asked and gently walked up to me. We all became quiet. I looked down.

"I left him a letter. So, if he doesn't make it before I leave, please tell him its waiting for him on his bed." I looked to her. She nodded as a tear dropped from her cheek. She caught it as it turned to stone, and placed it in my hand.

"Please take it." She said to me as her voice cracked. I nodded to her as more tears flowed from my eyes. I quickly embraced her. Almost as if I was about to fall. A part of me felt like collapsing.

"I'll keep it safe." Was all I could muster out without sputtering nonsense. Koenma placed his hand on my shoulder. I pulled away from her and he lead me out the gate.

Crack

Another piece of my heart broke with the sound of the gate shutting behind me. With each step down the hill made my chest hurt more and more.

"I know you're trying to stall, Sakura." Koenma spoke gently to me. He was partly right; I was stalling for any chance that Hiei would come out of no where saving me from having to leave. Grabbing me, taking me away, embracing me and saving my broken heart with his incredibly soft kisses.

But I also just didn't want to leave.

At all.

It wasn't stalling, it was denial.

I only nodded in response.

"We just can't miss your flight." He went on. I nodded again. I followed him until we made it to a main street where a cab was waiting for us. He placed my suitcase in the trunk and sat with me in the back. Probably to make sure I wouldn't bail.

Crack

As the cab door shut, I felt more of my heart shatter.

Has Yusuke even made it to him yet? I thought as a single tear dropped from my face while I watched the scenery pass on the way to the airport.

He probably has no idea...

"Um, Sakura…you know, I haven't gotten to say anything to you?" Koenma tried to break the tension. I'm sure he thought I hated him.

"Ok…" I turned my face from the window to him.

"I want you to know, you have made a difference with all of us. One I'll never forget is with our culture. We tend to be more formal, and uptight even with our friends. You introduced a level of comradery that I've never seen from them. They finally treat each other as true family now. Not just friends anymore. That is something I will always thank you for." He took my hand and looked me right in the eyes for a genuine show of gratitude.

"I don't hate you Koenma, I hope you know that." I forced a small tearful smile to him.

"I'm glad you said that, because I wasn't sure." He forced a chuckle.

"For what its worth, I do truly hope that portal stays open. It won't be the same here without you." He leaned to me hoping to bring out a smile. I nodded and turned my head back to the window.

Crack

The shut of the cab trunk after Koenma pulled out my suitcase hurt. He paid the cab driver and waved him off. I pulled out the handle for my case to be rolled to make things easier. Koenma lead the way to my gate. Taking the little airport shuttle, checking luggage, every moment, every painful check, it hurt more and more.

He's not coming... I thought without grasp. As I surrendered my luggage to the lady after security.

After customs, we sat at the waiting area. Hearing all the other boarding numbers in close proximity were causing me to reflect more and more. I would see Koenma in my peripheral looking at me with concern. A few times he would open his mouth almost to say something, but would quickly pull back.

He's not coming...

My eyes began to water, I looked down and took a deep breath to hold back.

"That's your flight Sakura." Koenma put his hand on my back as my flight number echoed over the PA speakers. I looked up to see the flight attendants open the door and stand by their podium.

"I can't do this." I looked up at Koenma. A small crowd of people began to line up to enter the plane.

"We can wait if you'd like?" He placed his hand on my shoulder. I nodded as tears fell from my face.

We waited.

And waited.

"Final call for flight…" The female voice echoed hauntingly through the now empty waiting area.

"I'm sorry, Sakura." Koenma looked to me.

He's not coming.

I slowly walked up to the lady at the podium with him, handed my ticket for her to check. She handed it back.

"Good luck." Koenma said to me as I softly embraced him.

"Thank you." Was all my voice would allow. I quickly pulled away and forced myself onto the enclosed walk way to the plane.

I sat down in my seat and looked out the window. Everyone was staring at me. I probably looked horrible with swollen eyes and red nose. Crying is never beautiful.

"He's really not coming…" I whispered to myself as tears fell from my face.

Crack

My chest nearly broke with the sound of the airplane door closing.

"If you love me let me go…" I sang softly to myself as I stared out the window. I repeated the song This Is Gospel as the plane moved into position on the runway.

I pulled a tissue out from my pocket to wipe my tears that insisted on falling without effort. The plane began to move faster and faster until we were in the air.

"He didn't come…" I whispered and more tears began to pour down my face.

I looked out the window as we began to get higher and higher.

"Oh my god." I breathed as my eyes widened. My body tensed as my hand plastered to the window instantly as I saw a small black figure make its way toward the plane.

Hiei?!

I looked hoping his jump would make the plane. I saw him inch closer. His eyes were in a panic as he reached toward the plane.

"Hiei!" I wheezed to myself. Hoping no one would hear my panics of a person trying to catch the plane in the middle of the sky.

I saw him mouth my name just as he lost his momentum.

"No..." I breathed as I saw his face pained when he began to fall back to earth.

Hiei! My thoughts screamed.

I can't lose you... I heard his words in my head.

It shattered my heart. My senses told me, I would never see him again.

I love you. I thought to him; only hoping he would hear it. I curled up in a ball, grabbed my pendant tightly and cried myself to sleep.