Author's Note: Again, thanks to everyone who reviews this story, and to all you silent readers! Thanks also to my beta Sinister Shadow for reading this through for me: good luck with your original story, Sinister!
Enjoy (hopefully)!
Dear Diary,
I am going to visit Lucius today. The Ministry decided to be cruel enough to deny me permission to see him for a full six months, but finally I have been informed I am allowed to.
I felt very worried as I approached the cold, formidable entrance to Azkaban prison. A guard met me in the entrance hallway.
"Mrs Malfoy." His tone was gentle enough, but I could hear the disapproval underlying it. "You need to surrender your wand. It will be returned to you as you leave."
I handed it over, and he flicked his own wand, sending it sailing into an office, where it was sealed in a small box.
"Follow me, please."
He led me through a maze of hallways and stairwells towards the upper part of the prison. Eventually, he paused at a cell door. He waved his wand at it, and it swung open, leaving a very narrow gap for us to pass through.
"Mr Malfoy? You've got a visitor," he called before leading me through the door and closing it behind us.
I gasped when I saw my husband. He was crumpled in a heap on the far side of the room, his hair matted, his clothes filthy and torn. He raised his face to look at me and I had to bite back tears: his cheekbones stood out prominently on his thin face, and his eyes looked blank and hollow. However, once he looked at me I saw recognition flash in them and his face lit up with a smile.
"Narcissa." His voice was hoarse, harsh: not the smoothened sound it usually had.
I felt a tear escape my eyes. "Lucius," I choked.
"Ma'am?" The guard said.
I reluctantly looked towards him.
"Strictly, I'm supposed to stay in here with you, so not a word about this to anyone, but I'll be just outside. Shout if you need me at all."
"Thank you."
He left, and I walked over towards Lucius and began to kneel down next to him, but he pulled me towards him so I was leaning against him.
"Narcissa, don't," he whispered in response to my continued distress. "I'm fine, really."
Eventually, I managed to pull myself together and moved away from him slightly to look up at him.
"You're so thin," I said.
"Thanks a lot," he said sarcastically. "You look very tired. You've not been sleeping well?"
"I've missed you," I admitted. "But I'm fine, really, don't worry about me."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm fine." After a pause, I spoke again. "I'm so sorry I haven't been to see you before now. I couldn't get permission to come for ages-"
"It doesn't matter, Narcissa. You're here now. I'm better off than Lestrange, at any rate: at least there was always some chance of you coming to see me."
Rodolphus evidently heard his name, as he tapped on the wall gently. "Narcissa?" He said in a hushed voice.
"Yes?" I whispered back.
Even more quietly, he asked: "How is she?"
"Better than this time last year," I answered, knowing whom he meant.
"Good. Tell her I miss her."
"I will. She misses you, too," I replied.
"Is she-" Rodolphus began.
However, he was interrupted by the guard's voice. "I will presume this is a friend or sister you are talking about, Mr Lestrange, but I would advise you to stop before you say anything more specific that will lead me to guess otherwise. You're lucky it wasn't someone else on duty, or Mrs Malfoy would be in a lot of trouble."
Rodolphus fell silent. I turned back to Lucius.
"How's Draco?" He asked.
"He's fine," I replied, deciding to tell a small lie rather than tell Lucius what was happening when he had no power to help it.
"How were his OWLs?"
"Oh, I'd forgotten you didn't know. He got an Outstanding in Potions, and Exceeds Expectations in most other subjects, except History of Magic."
"What did he get in that?"
"Poor, I think. But what use is History of Magic? And there was a disturbance partway through that exam."
"Was that when Potter had his little dream?" Lucius asked with a sneer.
"Yes."
"I don't suppose there's any chance I could see him?" He asked.
"I don't know. I'll ask at the Ministry. You'd think with all the things you'd done for them over the years that they'd be able to let your wife and son visit you," I said bitterly.
"Well, they're ashamed, aren't they, about trusting me?"
There was a knock on the door. "I was instructed only to give you twenty minutes, and you've had half an hour. You'd better say your goodbyes."
"Take care of yourself, Narcissa," he told me. "I want to see less of these shadows next time." He ran a finger beneath my eye, where the evidence of my restless nights was most noticeable.
"You take care," I replied. "I'll come again as soon as I can, and I'll try to bring Draco."
He kissed me briefly. "See you soon. Don't worry about me, Narcissa. I'll be fine."
I left, and the guard waved his wand at the door again, locking it. As we were walking back along the maze of corridors in silence, I felt I had to speak.
"Thank you," I said. When he looked at me, surprised, I elaborated. "For bending the rules like you did."
"Well, don't let it get around. I don't want to lose my job. I might not for breaking the twenty-minute rule, but I certainly will if they knew I turned a blind eye, or should I say a deaf ear, to your conversation with Mr Lestrange." He spoke in a whisper, as though worried he would be overheard.
"Well, I appreciate it. We all appreciate it."
"Regulations are you can't visit more than once a month. We're supposed to search you, by the way, so don't tell anyone I didn't. You'll have to fill out a form for your son to accompany you next time."
He led me into a small office near to the doors I had come in by. "Here's the form for your son. When will you be visiting again?"
"When will you be on duty next month?" I asked. I didn't like the idea of being searched by any stranger, especially not when they were probably a common Mudblood.
"Does the 17th of February suit you?"
"Is it a weekday?"
"Yes."
"I don't know if I will be able to get Draco out of school."
"I'm not here that Saturday, but the Saturday after I am. Would that be convenient?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Let me know if anything else comes up," he said as he scribbled in a large brown book. "I should warn you, just because I'm on duty I won't necessarily be assigned to escorting you. There's always a large number of guards at any one time, and any of them could end up helping you. Oh, you need your wand."
He flicked his wand at a box, and extracted my own wand.
"Here you are. You may go."
"Will you tell Lucius the date I'll be coming? And if I need to change it? I don't want to leave him wondering…."
"Certainly, Mrs Malfoy. Goodbye for now."
I felt very guilty returning to the comfort and luxury of the Manor, while Lucius was stuck in a cold, draughty cell. I felt so worried about him looking so thin, and so guilty about the contents of my own plate that I scarcely touched a mouthful of my dinner.
It's getting late now, I suppose I should stop writing. Tomorrow, I will have to go and see Bella to deliver Rodolphus' message: she'll be pleased to hear of him, anyway.
Until my next entry,
Narcissa Malfoy
PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!
