Disclaimer: I, Crystal Dynamics Man, herebey declare that Crystal Dynamics has given 13BlacKAnGELs the sole proud owenrship of Tomb Raider! (whispers) Was that it?
I nod
Crystal Dynamics Man: All right it's yours-will you let us go now?
Me: Why would I do that?
CDM: You promised freedom from slavery if we let you say you owned it
Me: Where's Lara's gun when you need it?
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Team-chaser: After finally being worn down (glares) by the plushie beatings I had the genius idea of splitting chapter 10 into two parts so I could update with chapter 9! But be warned-the Revelation monsters are coming! Still, you got your plsuhies to protect you and don't diss the wooly stuff! It's cool!
The Third Demi-God: Okay, well all that I said in the review reply-I think God got the message. The webcam thing was a flase alarm but if I've given you any ideas...now would be an excellent time for a smart remark but my brain's tired-first day of school and I had to get up again. You really needed to know that
Right, well thanx 2 both of u 4 those rather nice reviews (and Team-chaser for the ideas and 'encouragement') Read it and weep!
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Author's POV
It's a grey, rainy day outside, with storm clouds gathering. There had already been the deafening rumble of thunder, the blinding flash of lightning, but on the fourth floor of St George's General, it feels fitting.
The morgue attendant looks gravely at one of the panels, which contains a fresh corpse. This is always the aspect of his job that he hates most-taking the newly dead to the autopsy lab. But someone has to do it.
He removes the body from the panel and places it gently on the bed to wheel her down. Note that he doesn't really care for this particular patient-he just doesn't want to sabotage any evidence which could prove useful in the autopsy. Many can't see the point of it. It was quite clear what she'd perished of.
Meanwhile, about three long corridors to right of this grim place, is a group of mourners. It had been an intense, terrifying week for them, but all their prayers have gone to waste. It's too late-she's past the point of no return.
The mourners are an odd group-an old man looking deeply sorry, an African-American dumbstruck, a man with orange sunglasses looking devastated, a man with normal sunglasses looking out of place, and the last-a teenager who can't take her eyes off the spot, for she fears of losing grip.
It's on this corridor, on this grey and rainy day, storm clouds gathering where Lara Croft had been lying for the last week in a coma, in Room 14 of intensive care. It's here where her friends had been gathering, waiting for her to wake up. It is here that she died.
This evening, as the clouds move on and the stars start coming out, her friends are gone, given up. A nurse goes into Room 14 to tidy up despite her shift ending. It feels strange, forbidden. It's always so quiet up here. Too quiet. Even with the monitors, if you've been in the profession as long as Marina Lyddel, you get used to the sound. You don't even notice it.
This evening, as Marina departs, there is a rustle, but she doesn't hear it. Maybe it blends in too well with the monitors from the next room. Maybe she imagines it. But this evening, as the clouds move on and the stars start coming out…Lara Croft begins to stir.
Lara's POV
I feel groggy. I woke up two days ago, and I'm still feeling shit! Why can't I just be sent home away from these bloody tubes and monitors beeping every sodding hour of the day and night!
The doctors say I need to be 'kept under observation'. Well, what for? I'm awake, aren't I? What more do you want? They don't even have the courtesy to tell me just what the hell is going on! I haven't got the first bloody clue why I'm here! This is just where I woke up, with Alister and Lily looking down at me.
I don't really know why she's here-I said I wanted nothing to do with her, and it still stands. I guess it wasn't hint enough!
Someone knocks at my door. "Come in." Alister pops his head around the door. He's been my most frequent visitor.
"Hello, Lara," he smiles awkwardly. I nod in recognition. He sits down on one of the chairs. "Are you all right?"
"Just peachy," I say. I hear a small laugh. What was funny about that? "What am I doing here, Alister?" I ask. This must be the fifth time, but he never answers.
"Lara, you don't want to know."
"Well I obviously do or this wouldn't be the fifth time of asking!" I snap. "For god's sake, Alister, I've been awake for two days, and no-one has thought to tell me just why the hell I was in a coma! You can understand my lack of patience!"
"Lara-"
"Look, don't get all sympathetic and patronising, Alister, just tell me! Tell me or I swear to god, I'll shoot you!"
"But, Lara, you don't have any guns."
"So I'll hit you over the head with something, then, just tell me!" He seems to take pity on me, because he sighs in that way of his-like he's reluctant to say anything, but you've ground him down.
"Can you remember anything from six days ago?" I shake my head. He sighs again. Get on with it, Alister! "You were in an accident."
"What, like what happened the last time I had an accident? When I was working out? Fuck me, it must have been bad-all I got last time was concussion," I ramble.
"No, Lara, it's worse than that," he says sympathetically.
"Stop trying to soften the blow, Alister. I'm a big girl, you can tell me." He does that long sigh of his. I mimic it to show my impatience.
"You were in a motorcycle accident you were brought to the hospital unconscious and not breathing for yourself-"
"I would've-I didn't go out on my motorbike that day," I protest, but Alister just nods.
"None of us even heard you," he admits. I look up.
"So, no-one missed me until someone phoned up to tell you where I was?" I contradict.
"I didn't mean it like that, Lara-"
"Just piss off," I mutter.
"Lara-"
"Didn't you hear me!" I snap. "Just go, Alister!" He gives me a sad look and meekly exits. Oh, what's his problem? I can't even feel my legs and all he does is-
Oh shit…
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Alister's POV
Don't take it personally, don't take it personally-she's stressed, upset, in hospital-of course she's pissed! This is why I didn't want to tell her. I knew she'd react badly. She's never been in hospital before-not even when she had that fall in the gym. She just told us to 'not bother, it's not important'. Fortunately, it was only concussion, but what if it had been a fracture? A broken neck? She came down quite hard.
"No! Shit!" I hear her screech. I run back into her room and find the covers off her and one of her legs in an impossible position over the side of bed.
"Lara, what are you-"
"I can't feel them," she whispers. "I can't feel them. Alister!"
"I'll go and get a doctor," I offer, turning to leave.
"No!" she calls me back. "Just help me stand."
"Lara, you can't-"
"Don't tell me what I can't do!" she snaps. "Now help me-please." She holds out her arm, looking at me pleadingly with those soft brown eyes of hers. I don't know what's coming over me-lust, I suppose, and wanting to help my friend.
I take her arm and gently lift her up until she's managed to swing both legs on the floor. "Help me up," she asks, starting to lean on me for support. I put one arm around her shoulders and prop her up onto her feet.
"Can you stand?"
"Let go of me and we'll see," she says in a snappy tone. I'm not going to take offence-she's obviously just really worried in case she can't. I let go of her, and she wobbles almost right away. "I wasn't straight."
"I know, I know," I whisper. I push her to her left a bit so she's standing straight and let go of her again. She doesn't move, and looks like she'll make it, when she falls back. I put my hand out to stop her, but she hits it away furiously, and allows herself to fall back on the bed.
"What is going on?" I hear her say in a demanding tone.
"I don't know, Lara," I admit.
"Why was she out of bed just now?" I face towards the door and see a nurse standing there. I realise it must have been her who'd asked the question.
"She wanted to stand," I reply weakly.
"You should know better than to let her," she sighs impatiently.
"Why? What's wrong with my legs?" Lara interrupts.
"It's nothing, sweetheart, they're just a bit weak right now-they won't be able to take your weight just yet."
"Fine, but I can't even feel them," Lara argues. The nurse looks surprised.
"Really?" Lara nods. "Well, that shouldn't, your spine wasn't even-I'll get a doctor to examine you."
"Can't you do it?"
"No, I'm not qualified."
"You're a nurse!"
"In training." Lara looks stunned, almost disgusted. It had never occurred to me that this nurse is still training. Now I look, though, she's quite young-still in her twenties. "Dr Pieter is very sympathetic and-"
"I'm not a child, okay? I don't need 'sympathy' and 'affection', I'm not that old!"
"Well, he's qualified, so just make your peace with that," the nurse says.
"Oh, great, another man to feel me up," Lara mutters off-handedly. Instantly, the nurse's eyes flicker to mine in accusation. She gives me a questioning look, but I raise my hands in defence. She looks uncertain, but says no more and leaves.
"Thanks for that, Lara," I say.
"Well I didn't necessarily mean you, did I?" she protests.
"Not what she thought!" Lara shakes her head, mumbling 'why are you so bothered?' I'm bothered, Lara, because of what you told me about that American bastard out there! Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but what he did to her was sick and twisted, and I don't like getting blamed for it, even if it is just some junior nurse!
"Miss Croft?" We both look towards the door and see a bearded man standing in the doorway with the nurse behind him. "Nurse Piper tells me you have been feeling some discomfort?" he says in a heavy European accent. I'm guessing Dutch.
"Actually, it's lack of discomfort that's concerning me," Lara replies. He smiles.
"Yes, of course. Well, I will examine you if you do not mind?" Lara nods, and lies down on the bed. Is this necessary, or- "Are you comfortable, Miss Croft?" She nods again, but he doesn't see this. "Miss Croft?"
"Yes," she answers. He produces a large needle from his pocket and proceeds to scratch it gently across her left leg. I'm so glad I'm not in her position-needles really creep me out, I hate them!
"Can you feel that, Miss Croft?"
"No," she says quietly.
"I'm sorry?"
"No, I couldn't feel it." He moves to her right leg and repeats the process.
"Anything?"
"No." I can see her starting to look desperate. He moves down to her right foot. "No," she repeats. He does the same to her left, but she can't feel that either. Oh, this is horrible.
"Miss Croft, I am going to test your reflexes," he announces, and brings out a reflex hammer. He knocks it down on her left knee and her leg kicks out. The process is repeated on her other leg. "There is nothing wrong with your reflexes," he summarises. "Nurse Piper?"
"Sir?" He asks her to do something in Dutch. She disappears soon after. Lara, though, looked confused.
"Why do you need a blunt needle?" she asks. A blunt needle?
"It is simply to test sensitivity," he assures her.
"Sensitivity where?" she says.
"On the inside of your thigh." I notice her eyes widen with fear.
"Why? It's not necessary," she says shakily.
"It is simply to determine the area of numbness, Miss Croft. I assure you it will not hurt," he smiles.
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Lara's POV
"It is simply to determine the area of numbness, Miss Croft. I assure you it will not hurt," he smiles. I don't care if it doesn't bloody hurt, that's not the point!
"It's unnecessary," I repeat as calmly as possible. "I'm sure it's fine."
"So am I, Miss Croft, I just want to be certain.
"No," I mumble, feeling desperate. This happened 19 years ago, and it's not happening again, it's not! I can't let them do this to me again! I don't know which was worse-the rape itself or them 'examining' me after!
The nurse comes back, looking rushed.
"I'm sorry, sir," she says in a perfect Dutch accent. "This was all I could find."
"No, no, it will do nicely, Rose. Thank you." She smiles back at him and turns her attention. I guess she notices my reluctance, because she's saying;
"No-one likes this part, miss, but it'll be over in a second." That's what they told me last time…
"Perhaps the gentleman should leave?" the doctor suggests, indicating to Alister.
"Yeah, it might not be a bad idea," she agrees, looking pointedly at Alister.
"Whatever would make Miss Croft comfortable," the doctor continues.
"Well right now, what would make Miss Croft comfortable was if the gentleman stayed," I reply, holding out my hand to Alister. He takes it and squeezes it, and smiles down at me. I don't know what I'd do without him sometimes. He moves his hand away, and I let mine sink onto the sheets.
The doctor places his hands under my knees and pushes them upwards gently.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"I am positioning you correctly, Miss Croft."
"Well I could have done that!" I argue desperately. Oh, get a grip, Lara!
"I thought the problem here was that you could not?" he says, sounding genuinely confused. I sigh, and lie back. "Just try to relax, Miss Croft." I am!
He presses the needle just under my knee. Well, I think he does-it's where the needle headed anyway. "Can you feel that?"
"I'll tell you what, I'll shout out if I can feel it," I mutter. I hear a giggle coming from the nurse. She repeats what I said in Dutch, and he gives a chuckle.
"Very well, Miss Croft." I see him move his hand up slightly higher, and I tense. Stop it, Lara! Get a grip, girl! He presses the needle against the flesh. Christ, I can feel it.
"I can feel it," I say.
"That is good," he says. He moves the needle up higher, and I tense again. "Did you feel that?" I nod. No higher, no higher, you've gone high enough…
I feel another small prick. Can't you take a hint, you stupid-what is he doing!
I kick my left foot up and hit him square in the nose. He falls backwards with a loud groan.
"Dr Pieter!" the nurse exclaims.
"Lara, what happened?" Alister asks, taking my hand again. He got too close, Alister, that's what!
"Get him out of here. Now," I say, feeling close to tears. Oh god, why did this stupid nurse have to bring him? This bloody pervert should have his license revoked!
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"Just lie still, Miss Croft. This should all be over in a second," Doctor Connelly 'assures'. I nod nervously. He's said about four times 'this should all be over in a second'! Or was it five? Oh god, I don't know, I can't think straight.
Why won't that pain go away? It still really hurts-it feels torn, ripped. I start crying again-this must be the sixth time! Just thinking about it... The nurse in the room comes up to me and takes my hand.
"It's all right, honey," she whispers. "Just try to relax. I realise that's gonna be really difficult, but it'll make this much quicker, I promise." I turn my head away from her. She just doesn't understand. None of them do. They've all been so lovely and sympathetic, and 'understanding'. But they weren't there, so how could they possibly understand?
They weren't there when I climbed innocently out of the shower, only to see a stranger looking back at me in my reflection! They weren't there as he removed the only item covering my dignity! He banged my head on the sink, but while that certainly impaired my vision, it didn't do anything to numb the pain. And I still saw the blood…
"Well, well, this guy was extremely dumb!" the doctor announces triumphantly.
"Why?" I ask.
"He left behind a sample for us. This is always what nails 'em. Uh, Georgia, could you go get us that sample needle." She nods. Needle? Why do I need a needle? For god's sake, haven't I been through enough!
Georgia returns with a whole trolley! Just exactly how many are there? I repeat this to the doctor.
"Relax, it's just the one, then we'll be done-promise!" So you said half an hour ago!
I start shaking again. "I'm gonna need you to lie still," he says. You try getting raped then prodded and then 'lying still'! "Miss, this will just take longer, and it will hurt more." I doubt that. "Georgia, hold her legs." The nurse comes round to my left, and picks up my legs and spreads them further. What the fuck is all this-
"Aaagh!" I screech as I feel a sharp pain. He holds the needle there for a minute. Stop it!
"Thank you, Georgia," the doctor says. She nods and puts my legs back down. "You can cover yourself up now, Miss Croft. It's over." With what exactly?
When I walk out of the room-still only in that towelling robe they gave me-Amanda is waiting. "Oh, honey!" she soothes. "I heard you scream, what happened?" I take deep breaths to try and regain my composure, but if anything, it just upsets me more. For the first time in my life, I break down and collapse against the wall in tears. Amanda places herself beside me, and tries to comfort me, but it doesn't work.
I don't want to be here. I just want to go home. Let me go home, back to England…please…
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Lily's POV
You know, for five minutes there, I really thought I'd lost her. The flat line, the panel meant for her in the mortuary. I mean, I don't think I was being totally negative, right? For a second there, it really was like I'd never see her again, never get to know her.
Did she ever want me? It says on my birth certificate that I didn't go into custody of Dee and Terry until three months after I was born! Three months! What does that even mean? Did they change their minds, was the process longer than they thought, or…did Lara just have a change of heart? But if that was true, then why do this to me now?
I know it's crazy I found James first, but I figured I'd have more chance with a father who may never have known I existed than with a mother who gave me up. I didn't really have much to go on-Lara's name wasn't on the certificate, and the adoption agency denied me access to her file. Apparently she'd said she never wanted contact.
You know, through sport, I've had some pretty painful accidents, but nothing hurt as much as hearing that. Was I crazy to try and find her anyway? I mean, was I being totally deluded? When I heard about her accident, something just woke up. Before, she'd been Lara Croft, just the birth mother. Now she's…my mom. I know she doesn't want that name, or me, but it's how I see her now.
Since she woke up, I haven't been into her room. Alister's been in, like, a billion times, but I just can't. Not yet. Why? Honestly, because I don't know how she'd react. Would she freak out, would she invite me in awkwardly…would she get so shocked she'd have another heart attack?
Maybe James was right. This'll never work properly, will it? I mean, it's like, even though she's my mom, I'm afraid to go in and visit her. Not like I'm intimidated, but-oh I don't know. I'm so confused.
"Uh, Lily?" I look up and see Alister staring down at me.
"Hey," I greet unenthusiastically.
"Um, is everything all right, only you've been sitting out here for the last hour." He laughs nervously.
"Have I?" I say, out of it. "Oh, right."
"Do you want to go and see Lara?" How the heck did he know? "Only, you're aware you're outside her room, aren't you?"
"I am?"
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah," I nod. "Just a little out of it, I guess." He nods, looking understanding.
"Where's-" he struggles. I look into his face and see serious anger issues. "Rutland?" he says eventually.
"Cafeteria I think. I dunno-a meteor could have hit the hospital I wouldn't have noticed."
"Well, there have been no meteors, but, uh, Lara definitely hit the one of the doctors," he smiles.
"You're kidding me?"
"No, it's for real!" he says, laughing.
"You've never said that before in your life before, have you?" I smirk.
"Not once," he agrees.
"Oh, hello," someone says behind him. He turns around.
"Marina! Hi!" Marina? My god, he's on first name terms with a nurse?
"How you doing?"
"Great. Listen, about last Thursday-"
"Oh no, it's fine! I was talking to Rose and she told me about your friend having a connery." Even from here, I can see Alister frowning in confusion. "Heart attack," she smiles.
"Um, yeah, so about that coffee?"
"My shift's just finished, if it still stands?"
"Yeah, of course!" he says enthusiastically.
"Great. And, uh, this time, maybe it'll be me you'll be tending to in an emergency," she smiles seductively. He nods uncertainly, and she starts laughing. She starts walking away down the hallway, and he catches up and puts an arm round her. So cute.
Screw this-I don't care if Lara freaks and tells me to get the hell out. I still wanna see her. If Alister can take the plunge with a nurse when he clearly has feelings for Lara...so can I. I can take the plunge.
I knock quietly but there's no answer. Maybe she's sleeping?
I push open the door, and look in. I was right. Hell, I don't care. At least she can't freak. I sit down on one of the stools, and just…watch her. If you walked in right now, and saw us together, you would not believe we were related. It takes a while to see the resemblance. Cos I take after James more, I'm olive-skinned and naturally tanned, like him, but Lara's white. Apparently our eyes are exactly the same, though.
She moves. I sit up, kinda hoping she'll wake up. Oh my god, what if she does? What next? Wait, she's mumbling something. "Ari-adne." What…?
She turns her head to face me, shifting her whole body. "No, Ariadne," she whispers. Huh?
She opens her eyes and sits upright. "Don't freak," I beg.
"What are you doing here?" she demands, breathing heavily.
"I-came to see you," I shrug. "I can go if you want me to." She doesn't say anything and she doesn't look away from me.
"Why are you still here?"
"Like I said, I can-"
"In England," she clarifies. "Why are you still in England?" Uh, I dunno-because you're my mother and you're in hospital!
"Why are you asking me this?" I answer.
"Because I want to know what's possessing you to bother with me when you know quite clearly what I want!"
"And what would that be?"
"Well, you out of my life, for a start!" she snaps. I don't flinch. I didn't get all As in my drama assignments for nothing! I manage to stay cool, but inside-no, not so cool.
"Wouldn't you give anything to see your mother, Lara?" She looks taken aback (I've been spending waay too much time with Alister!) "Think about that," I say coldly, getting up and walking out of there, not looking back.
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Alister's POV
It's been ten days since the crash, but Lara's improving immensely. They say that if she carries on at this rate, they may even be able to discharge her next week! Obviously she couldn't return to her normal lifestyle, but…at least she'd be home. Croft Manor…
Oh my god, Emma! Bugger, she's supposed to be flying over next week! No way is that still possible. Lara's far too ill-don't tell her I said that. I'd be next. Lara doesn't want the strain of a guest-that's if she's even discharged by the time Emma's supposed to arrive. I know she's coming on the 8th, that's a week Saturday. It's now Wednesday. No, there isn't enough time, it's only ten days away!
I get up from my bed and go over to my private line phone. Lara insisted we all went back to the manor. I believe her exact words were 'if no-one goes back to that manor, then someone's going to fucking rob it! And as I'm somewhat out of action, do you think possibly you lesser mortals could bugger off and fend for it!" It's the morphine.
I dial Emma's number, and she picks it up on the fifth time of trying!
"Hello?"
"Emma, it's me." Silence. "Your brother," I clarify.
"Hey, Alister! How's it going?" she exclaims.
"Uh, just been a little bit frazzled, but, uh, okay," I say.
"Oh well, you know, at least it's going good for you!"
"Why, what's-"
"This packing is just a total nightmare! I mean there's the ticket, the passport, all the goddamn other crap I'll be needing! And I haven't even started on my suitcase!"
"Emma, you know you're flying out next week, right?"
I hear a small gasp and an awkward silence. "Damnit!" she exclaims. I snort with laughter. "Come on, be nice, I'm…frazzled!"
"I can imagine."
"Yeah, well, I'll get over it. Oooh, hey, what's the weather like over there?" I look out the window at the overcast sky, with a heavy rain setting on the ground.
"Just don't pack too many tank tops."
"Really? It's just I figured, maybe it's a little warmer over there?"
"Actually, it's probably the opposite. Our highest temperature was, ooh, about 17."
"Damnit, now I gotta repack!"
"Um, Emma, about that."
"Uh oh, why don't I like that tone?"
"I'm not sure it's going to be possible now."
"Really? Why-why is it a problem?"
"It's just been…complicated."
"Yeah, well, your last visit wasn't so great for me, but I still let you come!"
"That's because your crisis occurred while I was in-flight," I remind her. "By then it would have been pretty difficult to turn back."
"Okay. So I get it, it's complicated, why can't you just tell me?"
"It's-private."
"Okay, look, it's either two things here, Alister-either it's something to do with your boss or something really serious. I'd understand -better-if you just told me!"
"It's both."
"Wow, that's not good." I nod even though she can't see. "Alister?"
"Emma, you know I'd love you to come, it's just-not a good time," I say as calmly as I can, although inside, I'm feeling very different.
"Well, I really wish I could help you out, but-my flight's booked and it's kinda non-refundable cos it's so late notice."
"I'll reimburse you for the flight."
"No, Alister, that's not what I want, I just wanna know why. I won't freak, I won't get mad-unless you're saying this to keep me away, but you're not a jerk, so I don't even think that."
"I just-there was an accident." I hear her gasp.
"Oh my god, honey, are you okay?" she asks concernedly.
"Not me."
"Yeah, I know, I just-how you doing?"
"Not good," I say thickly.
"Oh no, no, honey, you can't cry on me, I'm no good at this over the phone!"
"Sorry," I sniff.
"I won't come," she agrees. "If I'd have known things were this bad, I-I wouldn't have even-just, if you wanna talk, I can listen." I smile.
"No, Emma, it's fine, really. I'm really sorry-"
"Hey, don't you start apologising, Alister, okay? This is not your fault! Really, it's fine, I only lost like five hundred bucks. My annual salary is near ten times that!"
"Five thousand dollars?"
"Right, make it a hundred times," she laughs. "I was never any good at math."
"Emma?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks for being so…nice."
"Oh no, honey, it's fine, seriously, you be there for her! Come on, you're her friend, she needs you! I understand, she doesn't want the strain of a houseguest!"
"Clearly you've never been one of her guests." She laughs at this. "I'll call you."
"Yeah. Let me know when she starts getting better," Emma says. "I'll talk you to later, honey."
"Bye, Emma." I hang up. Wow, that was surprisingly…easy. I forget how…gentle she can be. Don't ever tell her I said that-god knows, she'd probably get here quicker than the plane!
It's so strange that we grew up apart, but we…seem to know each other so well. She knew something was up and even if I hadn't been acting so obvious, she would have guessed. See, that's the thing about Emma-she may not seem particularly smart, but she's scarily accurate at psychology-especially mine! It's a shame she can't come, really-I would have relished the interaction between my employer and my sister. Who knows, they could've got on great-or they could have clashed more than King Arthur's sword!
That sword! I still can't quite believe that it's all real! Lara's already had to take several parties down to the tomb for excavation-she did offer for me to join them, but I had, um, other plans. Odd she never warned them about that supposed giant serpent she battled after being held hostage and we lost contact with her. Perhaps it 'slipped her mind'.
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Lara's POV
"You know I'm not really authorised to give you this?" the nurse sighs. I nod. "I could lose my job over this!"
"For giving a patient their file?" I ask sceptically.
"It's classified and confidential!"
"Between the doctor and the patient," I point out. "I'm the patient, so it's my right."
"But-"
"Look, Nurse Lyddel, if it had really been that big a deal you wouldn't have brought it to me!" I snap.
"Well-"
"Do you mind leaving now?" I say rudely.
"Fine. But if I don't get it back before the doctor comes back, I'm not getting done for this!"
"Oh, so I left the bed when I can't feel my legs and just happened to know which doctor's office, which filing cabinet?"
"Look, just get it back to me on time, we won't have a problem!" She storms out, but I ignore her. I could have gotten this file myself had my legs not been numb! I don't need some stupid Cockney nurse to get what I need!
I turn my attention to the file. If you haven't already guessed, they're my medical records for this 'stay'. Since no-one's told me anything-all I could get out of Alister was that I'd 'been in an accident' on my bike-then I'll have to figure it out myself. I'm no doctor, but I think I can read a chart!
I turn the pages and see graph after graph after graph. How about some notes? All I can see is that my blood pressure is high and…hold on-I had a heart attack? Two? Well I wasn't expecting that.
"Lara, what's that?" I hear someone say. I look up and see Alister.
"My charts," I reply nonchalantly.
"Your charts? Lara, you're not supposed to read them, they-"
"Better go and tell the teacher on me."
"How did you get them anyway?"
"Your little friend Marina has proved herself a useful ally." I hear a small 'oh' but take no notice as I'm struck. Well I wanted legible notes… "Alister?"
"Yes?"
"What exactly happened?"
"Listen, Lara, she's really sweet and everything, but I don't think it'll lead anywhere special, you don't have to worry." What? I give him my most confused expression.
"Alister, what are you babbling on about?"
"Marina and I-what were you talking about?" he asks, looking embarrassed. Bless. He's got a crush on the nurse.
"Well, as touching as the subject is, it wasn't you two I was talking about."
"Oh. That's-good." He sits down, looking absolutely mortified. I snigger.
"Swiftly moving on," I begin, laughing inside as he looks relieved. I hope he realises I will of course be telling Zip. "I actually meant since I was admitted."
"Lara-"
"I've read it all here, Alister, and I just-can't believe it." My voice starts breaking up. "I need you to tell me-how many times did I almost die?" He looks so reluctant I almost take pity on him, but-I need to know. "Please."
"Six," he whispers.
"Six?" I gasp.
"Five if you don't count the seizure, because they're not normally fatal," he pipes up, smiling, hoping I'll do the same.
"So, why am I still here?" I continue. "Why in any of those six times didn't I give up?"
"Lara, why would you want to?" he gasps, looking genuinely upset.
"I could have been with her by now. All of this shit would have been over!" I sob. I lean forward and place my head in my hands, shaking and crying violently. Why couldn't I just go? Why couldn't I just die? I could have been with her, I could have been with her…my mother.
"Lara, you don't mean that!" Alister says, his sounding surprisingly thick. "You have so much to live for!"
"Like what, Alister?" I screech. "My mother's gone, my father's dead, I have a daughter who I don't even know…and now the one thing that was my salvation is gone! I can't feel my legs so that's the end of tomb raiding for me! My blood pressure's already high enough for me to suffer a stroke or a heart attack!" Alister starts crying himself, but I'm uncontrollable. "Maybe I should just…request a form."
"What form?" he asks.
"So I can tick 'no resuscitation'."
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Alister's POV
"What form?" I ask, horror rising inside of me.
"So I can tick 'no resuscitation.'"
"Lara, no!" I cry. "You don't mean this. This is just the-"
"It's not the bloody morphine! I'm tired of life, Alister-it's just been one disappointment after the next!"
"What about Lily? She's your daughter! And Excalibur?" I say desperately.
"What can that really do for me apart from get me to the place that I could already go to if I just died?" she says sadly, still crying.
"But what about your daughter?" She shakes her head.
"I'd never go down that path again. Being a mother was the worst time of my life." I clasp her hand in mine and sit down on the bed.
"Lara," I begin. Once again she gives me her full attention. But that's good-I'm not babbling this time. "There is one thing-if there's nothing else-you could stay for."
"What, Alister?" Oh god, this is harder than I thought. I thought I was ready-well, I wasn't, but I need to get her out of it. And it's true… I open my mouth to tell her my well-kept secret for four years...
"Miss Croft, I'm gonna need that file back," someone interrupts.
"Take it," Lara mutters not taking her eyes off me.
"Good, it's just he's back and hasn't quite forgiven me for just laughing when-oh hello, Alister!"
"Marina, hi!" I say enthusiastically, breaking mine and Lara's moment. She laughs at my over-enthusiasm, but I think my reason is good enough.
"I'm surprised I haven't seen you here for a couple of days. At one point I thought you'd been superglued to her bed."
"Yeah, I was grounded," I nod, sighing. She giggles.
"Oh, were you a bad boy, Alister?" she teases. We stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds when she suddenly remembers herself. "Right, the file! I gotta get it back. Um, do you wanna meet up for another coffee, Alister?"
"Absolutely," I nod.
"Great. And maybe one day, if we're lucky, you'll ask me," she smirks, walking out waggling her hips. I gaze after her (what man wouldn't?) when I hear a crash behind me.
"Lara?" I whip round to see her on the floor behind her bed, groaning. "What-did you fall out?"
"No, Alister, I tried to stand up! I thought maybe someone would let me get that back, but apparently I'm destined to-to-" her voice breaks off again. I crouch down beside her and pull my best friend into a deserving hug. "I can't do this anymore," she sobs.
"Of course you can," I soothe. "Yes, things have been really shitty lately, but you've also discovered something so ornate and beautiful-it's a legend!"
"Yes, one that I can't use," she whispers.
"Of course you can use it! Since when has a little thing like no feeling in your legs stopped you?"
"What?" she says disbelievingly, although she's smiling. She's smiling!
"Lara, even with the feeling, you wouldn't have been able to go very far-you haven't got a clue where another dais is, do you?"
"No, but I could've looked."
"What about the scrolls?"
"You could have done that," she says weakly.
"We'll work better as a team," I promise.
"So, you mean I'm going to be stuck in the library all day everyday?" I nod. "Translating something that may or may not be possible to translate?" I nod again. "Oh my god," she gasps. "I'm going to be you!" I give her a mock glare. Thanks, Lara!
She bursts out laughing at my expression. Glad I'm so amusing-at least she's smiling again. You know, I'm not actually too bothered that she laughed at me. I mean, with Marina on the scene…
…could something happen between us? Would I finally have the power to…let go?
No, no, don't be ridiculous, you don't get over love like that, you dozy git! So…why am I getting butterflies at the idea of Marina…?
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James's POV
I've paced the halls all around this damn hospital and I still haven't found her! Where is she? I haven't seen her since yesterday-
"Lily!" I call when I catch her walking out of the bathroom. She turns around and notices me, but her expression doesn't change. She looks like she's been crying. "Hey, I've been looking for you!"
"Sorry," she mumbles. "I guess I just…forgot."
"You okay, Lia?"
"I'm great, yeah!" she smiles. I give her one my 'come on' looks. "Can we just-go home?" she asks. I nod.
"Sure," I agree. She nods sadly and smiles in thanks (I'm guessing). "Honey, what happened?"
"Nothing," she shrugs. "I'm just-tired." Why does she always shut herself off? Would it kill her to just tell me something?
As we walk down the halls, she stops outside the mortuary. Her eyes keep scoping the place like she's looking for something. "It's not there anymore," she mutters.
"What isn't?"
"Nothing," she replies. Goddamnit!
She was silent on the drive back to the hotel. She didn't even look like she was really there. She kept looking out the window, but her eyes weren't flickering like they were following the scenery-they were completely still.
When we get back to my room she goes over to the bed and stares out the window again. I sigh and make myself a pot of coffee-obviously I'm not gonna get anything out of her, even if I ask.
"I can't do this," she whispers.
"Huh?"
"I want out."
"Of-what?" I say confusedly, putting my mug down. She looks back at me but says nothing. "Wait do you mean-this?" She nods slowly.
"I just wanna go back to the States."
"Honey, you got it. I'll go book the tickets." Thank god! I've missed New York! I get out my cell and dial Virgin Atlantic. They're well known contacts of ours so I can normally get reduced seats-first class of course.
"Don't you wanna know why?" she asks.
"I respect your privacy," I answer, dialling. She cracks up.
"Smooth," she snickers.
"Although," I begin, hanging up at the engaged tone. "Can I ask-"
"Why?"
"Yeah." She looks down, and back out the window. I've known her long enough to know she's just preparing herself. It's a habit of hers.
"Before I saw you, I was outside Lara's room, right? I, um, heard her talking to that guy, Alister and she kept saying all this stuff like, how she couldn't feel her legs, how she almost died six times…it just got me thinking, she's stressed enough." I nod. Okay, I think I get what she's saying. "It's already gonna be hard enough for her to recover, and I don't wanna be the one to get in the way of that."
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Or is there maybe another reason? Did she hear more than she let on? How will Lara cope with the loss of her use of legs? Well I'll tell you…if you review which means I can see the point in updating and you find out. Latez!xxx
