Ezra kept his promise over the weeks that followed, texting or emailing at least one team member per day. He rotated the contact for the first couple of weeks, then narrowed it down to JD or Vin most of the time. The message was always short, and generally consisted of simply stating that things were going as well as he could have expected, and some days a little better than accepted. That regularity was why, on the Friday of the sixth week, the men sat arguing options at the corner table in their favorite bar.
"OK, so he's a bit later than usual contacting us. Just because we usually hear from him midday is no reason to get into a panic JD." Chris tried to keep his voice calmer than his actual state of mind. Ezra had never been this late – not once. Sure, it was only about 4 hours later than he'd ever been, but it seemed like forever. And yesterday's message hadn't helped.
"I have concluded there really is only option open to me. I suppose I knew this all along at some level, but until now was unwilling, or unable to accept it. Sometimes, there simply is no choice."
"I tried calling him."
"JD – I thought we had an understanding."
"He's late Buck. And you heard what he said yesterday. I had to try."
"And?"
"Phone is off. Not even voicemail. I think we need to go find him."
"IF you are right in assuming he made a decision, and IF you are right in what you think that decision is, what makes you think he's still in – where the hell has he been?"
"Georgia – where else would he be?"
"He went back home?" Nathan was surprised by JD's pronouncement. Ezra had rarely spoken fondly of his childhood.
"Not home really. He never stayed around one place long enough to call anything home from what he's said."
"But," Josiah presumed to explain, "he has always considered himself to be a Son of the South. Not sure he'd call Georgia home, but would be a logical source of solace to him right now. But Buck is right. What makes you think he'd still be there?"
"Don't know that he is, but we have to start somewhere."
OK – everybody just step back a minute. First off, he asked us to give him space, yet the second anything goes wrong you assume the worst. Thought we'd all agreed we had more faith in him than that."
"I do, we do. But – hell Chris. This is just too much. Even before today it was too much. I've been ready to get on a plane for the past week. It's only because I don't want him mad at me that I haven't done it."
"Have to admit Chris, I feel the same as the kid." Buck shrugged. "I just feel like we ain't doing what we should for him."
"We're doing what he asked."
"Are we. Leaving him alone for this long?"
"I know it feels wrong Vin. Troubles me too." Josiah's body language spoke to his mood. "But we have to believe in him."
There was silence at the table again. Chris tried to lift the mood. "And why are we are assuming there isn't a perfectly logical explanation for him to have not contacted us, and for his phone to be off? There must be at least a dozen reasons for that."
"Name one." JD challenged.
"Well," came a voice from the door, "it could be because the phone was in flight mode while I was coming home."
Ezra was all but knocked of his feet by the stampede of his friends. It was only thanks to the fact Josiah got there first, and had lifted him off his feet in a bear hug that kept him from being bowled over by the others.
"If you don't mind Josiah, I would appreciate being allowed to breathe."
The big man put him down, steering him over to the table. Chris was waving for another round of drinks, which Inez, being both manager and friend, had anticipated and was already pouring. A moment later she deposited a couple of pitchers on the table and set down a glass of Ezra's preferred brandy in front of him. Before he could thank her, she leaned down giving him a warm, welcoming kiss. Buck was so pleased at Ezra's return, he didn't even bother to get jealous.
"You should've let us know you were flying in. We'd have picked you up." Nathan was smiling broadly.
"I wasn't sure when I'd arrive. It was all a rather last minute arrangement. I had to take care of a few details in Georgia before heading home."
"Second time you've called this home Ezra. Hope that means what I think it does."
"An astute observation Vin. And yes, my intention is to remain here, and with the ATF assuming my position is still available."
"Don't even have to ask that. Buck will have his crap off your desk before you come to work tomorrow."
"Uh, Chris. Tomorrow is Saturday." Buck pointed out.
"What? We've worked weekends before. OK fine, Monday. It'll take him that long to clean the mess anyway."
"Um, Ezra?"
"Not now JD." Vin hissed, while at the same moment Nathan kicked him under the table.
Ezra grinned slightly. He had almost forgotten how much like a kindergarten class this group could be.
"Yes JD, you have a question?"
"No, that's OK, it'll keep." He tried to rub his shin without being noticed.
"Might I hazard a guess as to the nature of your inquiry. I doubt you were about to question whether I enjoyed my flight, and I assume the weather in Georgia would be of no interest to you. That narrows down you questions to either the state of my health, or my career plans. Would that be a reasonable conclusion?"
"Didn't mean to pry Ezra" he answered, looking down.
"And I didn't mean to tease you JD. I do appreciate your concern."
"Care to share an answer?" Buck risked the wrath of the others.
"I'm not entirely sure this is the ideal venue for such a discussion Buck?"
"Why not? Pretty much our home away from home, and besides, anytime you're with friends is the right time, wouldn't you say?"
Ezra looked at the anxious faces that surrounded him. Chris remained neutral on first glance, but Ezra's practiced eye could see the slight tension around his eyes, the minute pulling at his mouth. Vin and Nathan were a bit easier to read. Both wanted to hear the answer, and at the same time didn't want this moment ruined if it wasn't what they were hoping for. As for Buck and JD; well Ezra was wishing this had been a poker game, because those two couldn't bluff right now if their lives depended it. The only calm face at the table was Josiah. If Ezra had to guess, he would almost suppose the big man already knew what decision had been reached. It was more likely, on reflection, that Josiah had simply decided to accept the decision, and do whatever was needed to make things work out.
He reached for his brandy and took a small sip. "I am assuming, from the tone of the gathering here tonight that you received and shared my last message. That I had concluded there was only one choice – that there had always been only one choice."
"Yeah Ezra – we got it. Damned if we can agree on what that choice is." Chris's voice betrayed some of the tension he fought to hide. Why couldn't Ezra just, for once, give a simple, straight answer?
"Really? Strange, since you all seemed to have reached the conclusion long before I was able to ascertain the truth."
"Only conclusion we reached is that we're a family, and we do whatever we need to do for each, with each other." Vin smiled, realizing where Ezra was going.
Chris too, relaxed slightly. "You saying what I think you are?" Ezra merely nodded. "You sure – really sure? You gotta be doing this for you, not for us."
"That is rather the point Chris. Doing it for you is what is right for me. The only way I can heal, the only way I can continue to cope with what is my reality is to do so with the help and support of my family, if I may be so presumptuous."
"OK, let me get this right. You're back, you're staying here, and you're staying on the team? You still going to do undercover?"
"Don't push him JD."
"Quite alright Chris. Yes JD, assuming I can get all the necessary medical clearances, I will resume the role seem to have been born to play."
"There are going to be some changes made Ezra. No more going in alone, no more isolation."
"Chris-"
"Not up for debate. Vin said it, you said it – we're family. A weird little family to be sure, but family. And family sticks together. If we can't find a way to make sure you have back-up, well to hell with that. We will find a way. Period."
"Just 'cause you can do it alone, doesn't mean you have to." Vin added. "There is always a way to get one of us in with you."
"Except me – right Ezra. Cause I can't tell a lie to save my life." JD smiled.
"No, but you could to save mine. Oh, I'm not implying you did JD. I believe that you believe every word you said to me all those weeks ago. Just as I believe everyone of you will be there for me, just as I intend to be there for you." He took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. He finished his drink in one quick swallow. "So, assuming there are no further issues that demand immediate redress, I would ask if any of you are sober enough to drive me home, or should I call for alternate transportation?"
"Ah, why you want to leave so early Ezra. We've got some celebrating to do." Buck clearly was not in consideration as a driver.
"Might I suggest," Josiah offered, "that we move this party out to the ranch. I'm sure we can get a couple of cabs to ferry us out there, and we can spend a couple of days figuring out exactly what new protocols we can put in place to restore Team 7 to its former glory."
Chris stood, wobbling slightly. "That is an excellent proposal. Inez – the bill if you please."
"Please add the evening's refreshments to my tab Inez."
"That don't seem right. Party is for you, and you only had one drink."
"It's quite alright Buck. I'm sure the scales will tip back in my favour with but a single poker game at the ranch."
As they headed out for the night, Chris fell into step beside Ezra, holding him back slightly. "You really sure about this. They never saw that last paragraph, but I did. You were pretty clear on not wanting to go undercover anymore Ezra. Mire, filth, isolation? Ring any bells?"
"Every word was true when I wrote that Chris. It required that I have time away to gain the perspective that was lacking in the immediacy of all that had transpired."
"And that means?"
"Only by stepping away from the horror of that world was I able to realize I was never really in it. And that I wasn't alone. If I had been, I would have fallen apart years ago. Why I did fall apart years ago. My time in the FBI – never did I have even an element of the backing I have here. When things went bad there, I was abandoned. When things went bad here – worse than bad, I was surrounded by nothing less than full support, concern and compassion. Are you aware of what Judge Travis replied when I informed him I had to get away from you all to be able to think clearly? He said there was no escaping what you all were to me. I had no notion at the time how accurate that assessment was. I could not be isolated from you if I chose to be. And why, pray tell, would I ever make such a foolish choice?"
"You can tell we all want you back, but you have to be sure being an undercover agent for the ATF Is really the way you want things to be. We can't go through something like this again. Don't know that any of us would survive it."
Ezra smiled, and for the first time since this all began Chris saw the shine in Ezra's eyes as well as from the gold tooth. "I have had more than enough time to think thing through and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind Chris. I simply cannot see a future for myself that does not include that role, and this team. This family."
M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7
The end.
Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and kind words. My ego and I appreciate it.
